Chapter Text
“In what world is Adam Karadec falling apart on the job?”
“Well, just ‘cause it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean that it won’t.”
He wanted to laugh, to scream at his past self as the memory surfaced.
He’d been so self-assured, so arrogant, and now he was ready to throw himself into the proverbial fire, regulations be damned, so long as she was safe.
But she, Morgan, wasn’t safe. He’d cleared the main floor of the vacant ranch house before moving to the backyard, but they hadn’t counted on a cellar. And when he’d trotted back inside, assured that he’d secured the property, he’d walked in to find the barrel of a Glock pressed to his partner’s temple, and a very pissed off main suspect. He’d been ready to negotiate, to give up his own weapon, to trade himself for Morgan, but the woman, Sara Roma, wasn’t interested.
“Nice try, but get the hell outta my house, pretty boy. And call your friends if you want your partner to see the end of today outside a body bag!”
It took everything in him to back away, to not try and be a hero. But he’d seen the press of the muzzle to Morgan’s head, the fury in Roma’s eyes, and he’d known the threat wasn’t empty. He’d also caught his partner’s gaze, and known she’d come to the same conclusion long before him by the hard glint in those blue eyes, determined to persevere, to survive. It was the only reason he hadn’t tried something stupid, but now he second guessed that choice as the hostage negotiator failed once again to connect with Roma.
“Oh, enough, you asshole! Put that shitty detective on, even he’d be better than you!”
He was used to pressure, all eyes on him, but not this way. When the phone was offered, however, he took it without question.
“Ms. Roma? This is Detective Karadec, I–”
“Yeah, yeah, your partner's chatted you up plenty already. Mr. Rule-Follower, but you missed me, didn’t you?”
He didn’t answer because they both knew the answer, but still Sara laughed.
“Typical, another man who can’t admit when he’s screwed up, even if it saves his old lady.”
His mind raced to the beginning of this whole case; a man dragged for blocks on a desolate industrial road by a motorcycle until his arms literally tore off. Brass had sweated over another cartel making a statement, but Morgan had pointed out the victim’s brand-new veneers and nearly brand-new vest/boots. Chris Roma enjoyed the lifestyle, but not the life. By day he’d been a CPA for the rich and not-so-famous, but he had also married someone born into that ruthless world.
Unfortunately, he hadn’t listened to his wife, and he’d mouthed off to the wrong people at the wrong bar, which left Sara, angry and desperate after conspiring to kill her husband, with a gun pointed at Morgan’s head.
Bile rose in his throat at the idea of playing nice, but if it got his partner away from this woman in one piece…
“Oh, I screwed up, alright. But I’ve been doing that since day one, didn’t Gillory tell you?”
A pause on the phone, so he pushed forward.
“Yeah, my partner’s former profession was cleaning lady. She picked up after all of us at the precinct. Only my boss saw her potential, and made her a consultant. I did everything I could to make her quit those first few weeks.”
He swallowed hard, waiting. It wasn’t something he’d ever admitted to Morgan, but he’d assumed she was well aware of his antics. A tantrum he couldn’t believe he’d thrown looking back now. Had he really been that naive, that selfish?
“So you will admit it. You couldn’t compete with her, huh?”
He shook his head, though he knew Roma couldn’t see him, “It was all I could do to keep up with her, every day. And even when she broke rules I covered for her, because she solved cases, brought closure to families.”
“And made you look good.”
He smirked, “Maybe, but she always shines. I’m happy to just catch some rays.”
Another pause, but longer than he liked, and his hand trembled around the phone as he asked, “Sara? You with us?”
“Not for much longer,” she chuckled over the line, “You’re one of the good ones, Detective, I’m glad she found you.”
He heard the affirmation at the same time as the gunshot, and the bottom dropped out of his world.
“No! Please, god! No, no, no!”
Somebody was shouting, and he realized it was him as SWAT rushed toward the house, a swarm of boots and assault rifles already too little, too late.
His own feet moved anyway, compelled to get to her, to witness for himself how he’d broken the one promise all partners made, to protect each other…
But not even halfway up the sidewalk he felt two sets of arms wrap around his, stopping him as Soto appeared to press her hands on his chest.
“Adam, don’t–”
“Let. me. go.”
He wasn’t sure how he wasn’t screaming the words, but it might have had something to do with how he suddenly couldn’t breathe.
“You know I can’t–”
“Selena, she’s my partner! She’s my– my–”
His voice cracked, and he swallowed “my friend, my person, my heart…” like shattered glass. Not out of denial, but the realization that she didn’t know, and she never would now…
Tears stung his eyes as his chest tensed and lungs seized. Shit, he really couldn’t breathe…
Only the arms which had held him back kept him from falling face first as his knees buckled. Selena’s worried expression floated in and out of his vision, her words running together in his ears, but then he heard something else…
“Jesus, you guys, I’m fine, I swear! Didn’t even get any blood on me, see? Really, I just wanna get outta here and see my–”
“Morgan!”
He wasn’t exactly sure how he found his voice or his feet again, but none of it mattered as he ran to his partner and scooped her up in his arms.
“Oomph! Karadec! What–”
But he felt her tense as her brain played catch up, likely noticing the shake in his hands and the tears that’d escaped into her hair.
“Oh, Adam…”
Her arms tightened around his neck, and he tucked his face into her shoulder to hide a sob, thanking whatever deity was listening as he felt her pulse strong and steady against his ear. She didn’t say another word, instead pressing her lips to his temple as her fingers ran through his hair, and he clung to her even closer.
“And when that time comes, I know that, out of all the people in my life, you will know exactly what to do.”