Chapter Text
Whoever ran this place underestimated how thick their pelts were and how short-tempered they could be. Nam-gyu's teeth chattered as icy air seeped through his blanket, jacket, and fur, freezing his muscles and numbing his ears. The layer of frost that refused to detach from his skin wasn't painful, just incredibly uncomfortable. He rubbed his paws together in a futile attempt at warmth.
“Are you okay?” Se-mi asked from the bed beside him. It was uncharacteristic of her to pry, so Nam-gyu must have looked concerningly bad.
“Obviously not? It's freezing. Of course you wouldn't know, you're a lynx.”
“Ears, be nice to señiorita,” Thanos tutted from his other side. He tried to make eye contact, but Nam-gyu avoided the snow leopard like he'd catch a disease if he did.
“Sorry,” Nam-gyu muttered. Se-mi rolled her eyes, her tufted ears twitching in annoyance.
“No, I agree. It's chilly.” Gyeong-su chirped from above Se-mi's bunk. For a jaguarandi, he seemed eager to get along, wanting to make themselves a proper team and all that. No one here was particularly set on that idea except Thanos, but he was very busy right now.
“Just look at poor Min-su. Kodkods aren't meant to be in an environment like this,” Gyeong-su sympathized.
Min-su nodded vigorously from Thanos’s bed. Before he realized it, Nam-gyu had looked over, and the irritation immediately swelled up again. Thanos had taken the liberty to keep Min-su warm by cuddling with him in their shared bunk.
Now that he looked, Nam-gyu couldn't break his stare. Thanos wasn't even trying to make eye contact with him anymore, apparently too busy grinning at Min-su with drunk eyes. He held up a paw, and Thanos put his own purple-stained one to compare sizes. When Thanos whispered something Nam-gyu couldn't catch, Min-su nudged him away with delight creasing his eyes.
A bitter taste flooded Nam-gyu's mouth. Whatever was so fascinating about Min-su had Thanos ignoring everything else, including Nam-gyu.
Sure, Min-su was probably colder because of his smaller stature, but Thanos wasn't the philanthropic type. Min-su had never spent hours with Thanos at a vibrant club or served him drinks with his own money.
He was small and weak and pathetic, everything Nam-gyu was not.
So why did Thanos barely give him a second glance anymore?
Nam-gyu tore his gaze away, choosing to instead focus on the grime of the concrete floor. It was getting claustrophobic, and his chest ached to see a certain tiger. He managed to always give Nam-gyu a breath of fresh air, even in a closed space like the dorm.
“Ugh, I can't do this. I'm going to go ask someone to turn down the AC,” he declared.
“No, don't ruin this for me. This might be my only chance with my boy,” Thanos whispered loudly, which made Nam-gyu double take because really?
“Don't listen to him. Free me,” Min-su called, but he grinned and watched Thanos out of the corner of his eye.
“Fuck off.” Nam-gyu spat. “You can still do your lovey dovey shit when we're not in the Arctic.” Before they could reply, he turned his back and scrambled to the front of the dorms.
Nam-gyu knocked on the slit in the door and waited to see a guard. With the click and slide of a mechanical lock, a mask appeared in seconds.
“Hey. Can you please turn the AC down?” Nam-gyu said in his nicest voice. “Not everyone’s got thick fur. Look, I'm a serval.” He gestured to himself. The mask paused for a moment, like a robot generating a reply.
“We have provided you with track suits, and the beds have blankets on them.”
“Well I know,” Nam-gyu huffed, “but I'm freezing my ass off out here. A lot of us are still cold.”
“We have provided you with track suits, and the beds have blankets on them,” it repeated automatically. Seeming satisfied, the guard disappeared with another click of metal. Nam-gyu burned holes into the door.
“Asshole!” he hissed under his breath. He waited for a moment more, just to see if the guard would return. When it didn't, he whipped around and stalked off. Screw these guards. Screw these games. Screw this broken dorm. This place was run by negligent psychopaths.
As he sulked, his mind drifted back to his team. Nam-gyu would get violent if he had to be Thanos and Min-su’s third wheel for any longer, so he wasn’t going back there for a while. And it's not like Gyeong-su or Se-mi would miss his absence. Instead, he found himself walking toward the only cat he wanted to see.
“Is Dae-ho around here?” Nam-gyu timidly asked a small party of older cats. He had seen them and Dae-ho together before, and if he was right, all were good friends with one another.
“Dae-ho? Yeah, up there,” meowed a manul whose number read 390. The cats behind him exchanged glances, clearly wondering why he was here. Not looking to get interrogated, Nam-gyu gave a polite bow and scrambled toward Dae-ho's direction. His bunk was on the top row, and from what he could see, was relatively isolated. At least he had that going for him.
Nam-gyu bunched his muscles and leapt high into the air, landing nimbly on the bunk ladder with ease. He found Dae-ho curled up in his bed, his chest rising and sinking in the rhythmic pattern of sleep. Nam-gyu studied the softness of his ears, the curve of his nose, the slope of his back, his flame-colored fur. When he shifted, Nam-gyu flinched, afraid Dae-ho had somehow caught him through his slumber. Thankfully, Dae-ho stayed snoring.
Nam-gyu chewed his lip, agonizing over what to do. Dae-ho looked too peaceful to justify being woken up, and Nam-gyu even considered going back to his team. Realistically, how long could he grit his teeth and bear Thanos and Min-su's love fest? He gripped the ladder stubbornly. He just wanted some of the spotlight, too, dammit. Seen. Appreciated. But Thanos wouldn't give him the time, and Nam-gyu wasn't going to wait and beg.
Ultimately, he decided to curl up next to Dae-ho so that their backs brushed, just enough for Nam-gyu to feel a fraction warmer.
As time ticked by and the cold seeped further into his bones, Nam-gyu came to the conclusion that while it was colder down by his team, up here with Dae-ho didn't make much of a difference. He began to shiver again, so he pulled his short tail tighter around himself. It must be nice to be Min-su. Thanos had one of the longest tails a cat could have, being a snow leopard and all. He often complained about how it got in his way when in a crowded setting or recording booth. It was honestly kind of gross at times, because occasionally Thanos chews on it, saying it's “a part of his creative process.”
Right now, it was intertwined with Min-su's. Thanos had probably forgotten about him completely.
Nam-gyu's stomach twisted horribly, the beginning of a headache pulsating at the back of his head. Their closeness made less than no sense, and that made him want to take something to forget it. Seeing as there was nothing around him, he resorted to fidget with his rings.
“Nam-gyu…?” Dae-ho blinked sleepily, his voice gravelly. He yawned, revealing his massive canines. Nam-gyu tensed involuntarily. Tiger teeth were much more intimidating when they were right next to him. For not the first time, he thanked whoever was out there for making them friends and not enemies.
“Hey,” Nam-gyu finally meowed, running a tongue over his own much smaller canines. Dae-ho quickly wiped away the drool from his mouth and pushed the hair out of his face.
“Hi.” He smiled, which made Nam-gyu grin back. The pressure in his chest was already loosening.
“Sorry. Did I wake you up?”
“I felt someone beside me. Were you shivering?
“Maybe.” But Nam-gyu couldn't stop shaking, so he just said, “Yeah. I hope you don't mind that I'm here.”
“I don't at all.” Dae-ho got up and stretched until his tail quivered. Heat radiated off of him like an open fireplace, and Nam-gyu had to actively control himself not to pounce on him. Instead, he muttered, “How do tigers handle the cold?”
“We handle it okay. Depends on the subspecies, I think. I'm an amur tiger. We're practically built for the cold. Real dense fur, but I know some tigers who can't stand it.” Dae-ho cocked his head, his eyebrows pushing together in sympathy. “I'm assuming servals don't do all that well?”
Nam-gyu nodded with a grimace.
“Yeah. I suck at handling the cold. The blankets and jackets don't do shit here.” He played with one of his rings, feeling oddly vulnerable. When he glanced up, Dae-ho looked at him with a kind of attentiveness that made Nam-gyu's chest relax and tighten at the same time. Thanos had never once looked at him with this intensity. And never would.
“Would you…want to cuddle? When I was really young, some of my sisters and I would do it when I had nightmares, or when I couldn't sleep. I remember it being warm. Maybe this’ll work for you. We don't have to if you’re uncomfortable, of course. You can just have my blanket if you want.”
“Let's try it.” Nam-gyu tried to keep the relief out of his voice despite the inner celebration he threw for himself. He crept up beside Dae-ho and tentatively laid down, making sure to keep some space between them.
Dae-ho must have not known what to do, because he kept stealing glances at Nam-gyu and looking away. He pulled his mouth to the side, but a fang and a smile peeked through. Nam-gyu pretended not to notice.
He drew his knees up in a fetal position and waited through chattering teeth for Dae-ho to make a move. After a tense pause, rigid arms came to hold his torso. Real warmth began to melt into Nam-gyu's back and sides. His muscles still acted like he was in a freezer, but it was already more manageable.
“This okay?” Dae-ho asked.
“Yeah,” Nam-gyu nodded. He drew the blanket over them, cocooning them in place.
Dae-ho ran a paw over Nam-gyu's side, blooming warmth in his wake. “Woah, you're long,” he commented absentmindedly. Nam-gyu was just about to say a witty remark when his touch grazed too far and slipped behind Nam-gyu's thigh, which made Dae-ho quickly jerk away. Nam-gyu nearly choked on his spit.
“I’m sorry!”
“It's fine,” he said casually despite his heart pounding in his throat. He now remembered just how touchy Dae-ho could be…and if he had to be honest, didn't hate it. Maybe even liked it. Dae-ho always touched him like he was made of marble. Plus, the inability to keep their paws to themselves was a habit they both shared.
Thinking about it now made Nam-gyu’s face grow hot, so he had to stamp out the small flame that had caught in his chest.
Anyway, Dae-ho was right—Nam-gyu was long. He owned little muscle mass, but made up for that with a slender build and lanky limbs, a trademark for his species. He might have had long proportions, but Dae-ho was clearly much bigger. When Nam-gyu's head was level with Dae-ho's chin, his feet stopped at Dae-ho's shins.
“You know, I think you're just stubby. Ever thought about that?” Nam-gyu bumped legs with him. A smile tugged on Dae-ho's lips, and he hit him right back.
“Maybe not.”
“Didn’t think so.” When that earned him a soft chuckle, his heart stumbled. Nam-gyu fidgeted with his zipper, feeling somewhat awkward. He found himself wishing Dae-ho was more bold in his moves, but he only seemed to fall back a notch when he was with Nam-gyu. To be honest, the shyness was annoying. He just wanted to grab Dae-ho, pull him close, push his face in his neck, and…
Shit.
That thought had crossed a thin line Nam-gyu kept himself from acknowledging, and now he wasn't sure if he could return to it. He rubbed his temple, hoping massaging the muscles there would somehow rewire his brain, but the idea of him and Dae-ho together gave Nam-gyu butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to kill them.
“You okay?” Dae-ho whispered and grazed Nam-gyu's arm, sending an electric thrill through his body.
“Uhhh,” Nam-gyu shortcircuited, “Y-yeah—no? Possibly. Not.”
“What?” Dae-ho’s eyebrows knitted together. He reached out for him.
Without fully thinking it through, Nam-gyu pushed Dae-ho, not hard enough to hurt but enough to make him gasp. They stared at each other. Before reality could sink in, Nam-gyu stole Dae-ho's spot with a hasty smirk.
“This spot’s mine,” Nam-gyu declared. The confusion cleared away for challenge in Dae-ho's eyes. He shoved Nam-gyu to the edge of the bunk and reclaimed his spot while shutting himself in with the blanket.
Frozen air with the strength of a speeding semi-truck hit Nam-gyu everywhere all at once.
“H-holy shit! Lemme in!” he yowled, smacking Dae-ho's shoulder over the cover. He didn't reply, but Nam-gyu could hear stifled giggling. A laugh bubbled out of him despite himself. Standing on his knees with a wobble, Nam-gyu gripped the cover with all the strength he could muster and tugged once, twice, and pulling it off completely. Dae-ho flipped onto his back, raised his paws and swung—too slow. Before he could score a hit, Nam-gyu pounced on him, grabbing his neck with one arm and steadying himself with the other. Dae-ho grunted in surprise when Nam-gyu rained a flurry of kicks to his thigh. For one glorious moment, Nam-gyu was smiling and his blood was flowing and he was winning.
Too busy in his victory kicks, he had barely a moment to register the growing pressure on his stomach before the world around him jolted. Wind whipped his ears as he landed on the edge with a thump, knocking the air out of his lungs.
“Oh!” Dae-ho gasped with his foot still in the air. Nam-gyu blinked.
“I’m so sorry. Are you alright? I didn't mean to kick you so hard.” Dae-ho scrambled to his side, ears pinned down in worry.
“Yeah—yeah, I’m fine,” Nam-gyu put a paw to his chest where his heart was currently trying to punch its way out. The way Dae-ho examined him was not helping.
“W-wow, beating up cats smaller than you…I didn't know you were the type, Dae-ho,” Nam-gyu said. Dae-ho’s shoulders jumped to his ears.
“You caught me. I just looooooove throwing around little servals.”
“Sick,” Nam-gyu said with a shake of his head.
“In all seriousness, you're okay?” Dae-ho looked him over again. Nam-gyu stretched, but felt no pain in his limbs.
“Yeah.”
“Okay, good. Want to go back to cuddling?” Nam-gyu opened his mouth, cringed, then gathered his remaining strength to give a small nod. They returned to their lukewarm spot and settled down. Dae-ho wrapped his arms around Nam-gyu with more conviction and pulled him in.
It was harder to accept the hug the second time around. Nam-gyu became hyper aware of the stiffness in his arms, his unstable breathing, the heat of Dae-ho's neck against his forehead.
Isn't this what he wanted? It was, but he had become a live wire, and Nam-gyu itched to run.
Dae-ho shifted and gave Nam-gyu a short squeeze, making him let out a soft exhale. Maybe he could sense his stiffness, which made Nam-gyu feel guilty for wanting to flee. He squeezed the cuff of his jacket, wanting to convince him it wasn't true, although it sort of was.
He pushed down the urge to desert, and Nam-gyu settled to hug one arm around Dae-ho's waist and the other close to his chest. He closed his eyes, hoping that would help him relax his racing heart.
Soon, the storm of agitation ebbed in Nam-gyu's chest. His heartbeat relaxed into a barely audible rhythm, replaced by the steady tune of Dae-ho's breathing. The frozen air still bit at some points, but it was easier to handle now.
As sleep drew closer, Dae-ho's arm disappeared from Nam-gyu's side, leaving a cold vacancy in its absence. At first, he felt a pang of anxiety. Perhaps Dae-ho didn't want to cuddle anymore, or maybe he got sick of him. Turning tail, facing the cold front, and back being a nobody sounded worse than he realized, especially if it meant Dae-ho rejecting him.
Instead, a paw brushed the top of Nam-gyu's head, like a ghost that might disappear if he wasn't gentle. A wave of anticipation crashed against his ribs. When he leaned into it, it lowered to graze his cheek, rubbing him with a careful digit. Nam-gyu's eyes fluttered shut automatically. Dae-ho scratched the spot behind Nam-gyu's ear, making him limp and breathe out a long, jagged sigh drawn straight from his soul. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been touched so gently, and now that he had a taste, it was all he could focus on. It was marajuana without the nausea. It was sex without the exertion. It was intoxicating.
When Dae-ho tried to remove his paw, Nam-gyu blindly hitched himself higher against his body, desperate for its generous touch, until his head struck Dae-ho's chin. He froze, embarrassment surging in like a broken dam. A slow, guilty sting pulsed from his skull.
Fuck. He just couldn't stop himself, could he?
“Ah, sorry,” Dae-ho whispered, and rubbed the top of Nam-gyu's head even though he was pretty sure his chin needed more attention.
“I’m—I’m sorry, hyung. I got carried away,” Nam-gyu stammered, his ears drooping.
“Don't worry about it. It didn't hurt.” A small grin crept up, and, wait—that couldn't be pride on Dae-ho's face, could it?
“Do you want me to keep going?” His voice dipped into a softer tone Nam-gyu didn't know he was capable of.
Fire crept up his ears. He wanted to kick Dae-ho off and melt into him at the same time. Desire and avoidance pulled him in opposite ways, each demanding something incompatible. He should just say no. That was the easy option. The right option.
“...Not if you don't want to.” Face burning, Nam-gyu bit down on his disloyal tongue.
“I want to,” Dae-ho said simply. Their eyes met, and his were soft and honest. For a brief moment, something deeper flashed in their depths.
“Okay.”
Dae-ho's face lit up in a beam, and a fang poked out again. His attention returned to Nam-gyu's face, where he caressed his cheek and rubbed his ears.
On paper, Nam-gyu would have rejected him. Dae-ho was too sappy and embarrassing to be around. But the urge to run had completely dissolved, leaving only the desire to reciprocate in its place.
After a while, Dae-ho slowed to a stop. When Nam-gyu’s eyes blinked open, he saw a smirk on Dae-ho's face.
“What?” Nam-gyu huffed.
“Are you purring?” Dae-ho asked with a tilt of his head, a stray strand falling between his eyes. Without fully realizing it, a deep, pleased rhythm vibrated in Nam-gyu's throat. He itched the back of his neck, face heating up.
“Mhm.
“That's so sweet.” Dae-ho smiled down on him, and something about how close they were and how nice he was made Nam-gyu want to keep doing it, even if he could tell they were deep into something far from just friendship. Beneath the covers, Dae-ho's tail intertwined with Nam-gyu's. He probably didn't account for how short Nam-gyu's tail was, because when he ran out of tail, he curled the rest around Nam-gyu's calf.
“If I could purr, know I would do it right back at you,” Dae-ho winked.
“You can't purr.”
“Yeah. It'd be cool if we could. But I do something kind of similar.” He closed his mouth and blew air through his nose, making a low, snorting noise that was oddly charming.
“I know this. I've heard...my friend do it sometimes. He's a snow leopard. Must be a big cat thing.”
“Mhm,” Dae-ho nodded matter of factly. “It's my happy noise.”
“Cute,” Nam-gyu murmured to himself, but Dae-ho, ever attentive, picked it up. He chuffed again and gave Nam-gyu a squeeze.
“Sorry.” Much to his annoyance, Dae-ho backed away. “Let me know if I'm too much or if I hurt you. You're just so huggable, I get cuteness aggression or something."
Nam-gyu blinked at him slowly, inspecting his words as if they were made of jewels.
“Stop apologizing all the damn time. You're not too much.” Nam-gyu pawed Dae-ho's tracksuit. “Put your body on top of mine.”
Dae-ho blinked, confused and flustered. “Uhm. Pardon?”
“Put your body on me.” Dae-ho's mouth opened and closed like a fish on land.
“Why…? Wouldn’t that hurt you?”
“No. Uhm. They don't have weighted blankets here. Do me a favor and just do it,” Nam-gyu insisted. With a shaky sigh and a quick nod, Dae-ho gave in and they repositioned themselves, making the bed creak under their weight. Dae-ho ended up half on top of him, half on his side. Nam-gyu wiggled around until he fit snugly in Dae-ho's arms. He pressed his cheek to Dae-ho's, purring on purpose this time.
“Are you sure this isn't hurting you?”
“M’ good, big guy,” Nam-gyu said. He was about to slip into sweet sleep before Dae-ho's concerned voice forced him back.
“I'm worried. I weigh a ton, and you're tiny. What if I hurt your ribs or something?”
Dae-ho's arms tensed against his sides. Nam-gyu's whiskers twitched when he realized Dae-ho was holding himself back.
“Oh my g—I’m fine. If I didn't like it, I’d have clawed your face off,” then, because Dae-ho needed to hear it, “I like it. When you, uh, when you're touching me like this. The pressure too. It's calming.” He gave Dae-ho a couple slow blinks to make sure he understood. To Nam-gyu's delight, he returned it.
“Now shut up and sleep.” he closed his eyes, and if Dae-ho spoke again he would pretend he was already dreaming. Eventually, Dae-ho relaxed, tentatively pushing Nam-gyu into the mattress with his weight. Nam-gyu grunted in approval and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, which seemed to work on him. Eventually, the world around him slowed, and the annoyance over a broken air conditioner, jealousy over Thanos and Min-su, and every other tumultuous emotion grew distant until all he knew was orange fur and comfort.
He prayed this moment would never end.