Work Text:
The waves hit the shore with a constant rhythm, relaxing to the mind. There were no other songs besides that of the sea and the wind, creating a calm atmosphere of tranquility.
All of the previous sentences were a lie.
“Dazai, quit running around with the parasal, you suicidal maniac!” Shouted Kunikida with a frown.
Ranpo groaned, “Stop splashing me, Kenji!”
“Sorry!”
“What’s a cow doing here?” Asked Kyouka.
Atsushi smiled nervously, “I-I don’t know.”
Yosano seemed to be sculpting organs out of sand.
And nobody looked at the Tanizakis, who were doing something on a towel.
It was a mess.
But they were having fun. Except maybe Kunikida.
“Kunikida, you have to relax!” Exclaimed Dazai, “That’s the whole reason we even came here!”
“He is correct.” Fukuzawa approached them.
Kunikida frowned, but he shot a stare at Dazai.
I don’t know exactly how you did this, but I’m positive this is your doing, you sorry waste of good bandages.
He was right. Dazai may have had something to do with all of this, but he would never admit it.
Suddenly, a yell was heard.
“THE JINKO????”
Everyone turned around to see Akutagawa and Atsushi staring at each other in utter disbelief.
The members of the Armed Detective Agency also noticed the members of the Port Mafia, who were also on the beach.
“...”
“HUH??” Everyone exclaimed [except Dazai].
Chuuya had noticed this, and walked up to the bandaged man, “This was your doing, wasn't it??”
“Oh my, Chibi, but how could that ever be? Was I perhaps the one who suggested that a little relaxation were to be good from time to time? But you know that can’t possibly be, since I haven’t spoken to a member of the Port Mafia for weeks!”
Chuuya’s eye twitched, but he didn’t pry any further. He knew that he wouldn’t be able tto make Dazai reveal how he had done it.
Soon after that, more chaos took place.
“WHY THE HELL IS THERE A COW HERE???” Exclaimed Tachihara.
Atsushi and Akutagawa were in the middle of a fight.
Yosan and Kaji were busy experimenting on how many times Yosano could almost die and then heal herself after explosions from lemon shaped bombs.
But there were also those who didn’t argue.
Fukuzawa spoke calmly with Mori [although he looked a little concerned of how Mori was looking at Elise who wore a swimsuit].
Ranpo and Higuchi had gone to buy ice cream.
Kouyou was braiding Kyouka’s hair.
Kenji was showing Gin all the fish and crabs he had in a bucket.
Hirotsu and Kunikida had sat, and were talking about/complaining about their work partners.
And then there were Dazai and Chuuya.
The latter’s yells could be heard all over the beach, and the former was just laughing.
“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME SHORT AGAIN YOU BASTARD!”
“This coming from the guy who doesn’t take his hat off to go to the beach!”
“IT’S MY FAVOURITE HAT!”
Later, Kunikida decided to make a report on the day, although Fukuzawa had told him that it wasn’t necessary.
He only wrote the following:
Going to the beach was a bad idea.