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It was a normal night after rehearsals, and the boys decided to have BBQ.
Minho was exhausted.
Not just from their relentless practice for the new comeback, but from keeping up with his facade.
Stays on recent lives and videos had been calling him cold and mean — which wasn’t true. Minho knew that.
Still, the comments had been gnawing at him, so for the past couple weeks, he’d been going out of his way to seem happier — kinder. But so far, it hadn’t been working.
He thought that after all this time his members would notice something odd with Minho, but no one had — or if they had, they didn’t say anything.
Chan hadn’t even reacted when Minho hugged him during the v-live, and the last time a hug happened between the duo, Minho had been moaning and groaning in complaint.
Not even Jisung, his ‘soulmate,’ had said a word.
‘Maybe,’ Minho thought, ‘no one noticed because Jisung shines too bright.’
Ever since their debut, Jisung had been the group’s all rounder — excelling at everything while Minho was left in his shadows.
Minho loved Jisung — he had since they met — but for once he wished he could bask in the spotlight himself.
-
Seungmin teased Changbin, giggling when the latter threatened him.
Felix laughed at Jisung’s bright pink face after he’d drunken too much beer.
Hyunjin tried (unsuccessfully) to plant a kiss on Jeongin’s cheek, while Bangchan kept the peace, fondly watching over his kids.
Minho, however, was tasked with cooking the meat.
“You’ll do it, right, hyung? You’re the best at it anyway,” Jeongin had said before handing him the tray.
As he looked around, everyone seemed to fit so perfectly into this little family — and he couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t.
He tried to remind himself how much his members loved him — how much he deserved to be here, deserved to be a part of Stray Kids — but the gnawing feeling in his chest refused to fade.
He was so caught up in his mind that he failed to notice the galbi had started burning.
“Minho! Look at what you’re doing!” Chan snapped, prying the tongs from his hands.
Six pairs of eyes turned toward him. And for the first time tonight, he had their attention.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, looking anywhere but his friends.
He doubted Chan heard anyway, because after a moment, the group drifted back to their own activities.
Minho chewed his top lip as Chan finished cooking, deep in conversation with Hyunjin about the choreography for one of their new songs.
Minho was supposed to be the dance leader — so why wasn’t Chan talking to him instead?
The group eased into comfortable conversation, but for Minho, it felt suffocating.
Every time he tried to speak, someone interrupted — so he decided staying silent was best.
He’d barely said a word all night, and no one seemed concerned — as if they’d forgotten he existed altogether.
-
Apparently, Jisung had said something funny, because everyone laughed. Whenever Minho tried to joke, no one laughed — no one even noticed.
Maybe Jisung was just better than him in that way.
Though, apparently him not laughing was completely out of character because everyone had turned to look at him.
“Hyung, what’s up? You’re usually fawning over Jisung by now. What? Is he not funny enough for you now?” Seungmin teased as the others giggled.
Minho tried to laugh – to seem normal, but it felt like he was being eaten up from the inside.
Was that really all he was? Jisung’s fanboy? Couldn’t he just be Minho?
When the laughter died down Felix tugged on his jacket, whispering to him on the downlow in an attempt to not draw attention.
“Hyung,” Felix said softly, “is everything okay? You’ve barely said anything all night, barely even smiled.”
Minho’s heart ached. Felix — ever the kind soul — couldn’t help but check on others.
He forced a smile. He wanted, needed, to be strong for Felix. It was his duty as the second eldest, he couldn’t let Felix know he was weak, couldn’t bear him witness to his pathetic self.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks, Yongbokkie. I’m just gonna get some air. Tell the others for me, okay?”
Felix smiled, unconvinced, as Minho quietly slipped outside into the cold night.
-
He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, walking down the path in front of the restaurant.
He clenched his eyes shut.
He didn’t know how much longer he could do this — not just pretending, but all of it.
He was tired.
He just wanted to disappear.
But he couldn’t… at least not until the next comeback was over.
-
Minho didn’t notice the approaching figure until a hand gently grabbed his wrist.
He spun around, yanking it back, meeting a startled Jisung.
“Sorry, hyung! I didn’t mean to startle you.” He apologised, hands up beside his head like he was being held at gunpoint.
Minho instantly felt bad, shaking his head frantically.
“Don’t apologize, Jisungie. It’s not your fault. I wasn’t paying attention.” He tried to smile, but it came out flat.
Jisung furrowed his brow, and Minho felt exposed.
Jisung could always see right through him.
“Hyung, are you okay? You’ve seemed off all night. It wasn’t just me who noticed. Felix said that too, before I realised you had left. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Minho’s chest ached. Was he really that invisible?
“I’m just tired, Sungie. You don’t need to worry,” he said, shoulders slumping, plastering on a fake smile. “I just need a little rest. Then I’ll be back to normal,” he whispered, wincing at the word.
Normal.
Was his normal being mean? Did Jisung think he was mean?
‘No. Jisung cares about me. He wouldn’t think that. He couldn’t.’
A gentle hand, slightly bigger than Minho’s took his own.
“Hyung, why are you lying to me? We said we would always be honest with each other." And Minho could hear the disappointment in Jisung’s voice.
Minho didn’t want Jisung to be disappointed in him — he knew the younger could see right through his lies, they knew each other too well.
But that didn’t mean telling the truth wasn’t hard.
He stared at his feet, trying to will the tears building up away.
“I’ve been trying to seem nicer, like you and Yongbok. But—” Minho exhaled shakily.
Jisung squeezed his hand in reassurance before speaking.
“It’s okay, hyung. You don’t have to pretend. I know you’re not the type.”
Minho froze.
So that’s what he thinks of me? That I’m incapable of being nice or cheerful?
He snatched his hand back like he had been burnt — and in a way, he had. His cheeks were burning, tears finally spilling over and Jisung immediately looked panicked.
“What did you just say?” His voice cracked. “If that’s the case, what am I actually like, Jisung? Do you think I’m mean, or cold or incapable of showing love?”
Jisung tried to take his hand, but Minho slapped it away, opting for walking in the opposite direction.
“Hyung, no! Wait!” Jisung stammered, chasing after him. “Stop — shit — it’s not like that!”
Minho stopped abruptly, Jisung nearly faceplanting into his back.
“So what is it like then Jisung?” He cried, knees wanting to give up on themself. He turned back and Jisung could see how destroyed he looked.
“Do you even see me? Can’t you see how much I’m trying, how much I’m hurting? Fuck!” He gasped, sobbing.
Jisung froze. He had no idea Minho felt this way.
How had he made the one person he loved feel so alone? After everything Minho had done for him?
Jisung’s hand shook as he reached forward, then he did the only thing he could: wrapped Minho in a tight hug, catching him when he collapsed on the rocky path.
Memories flashed — every moment Minho had tried, gone unnoticed. Every time Jisung had unconsciously taken him for granted.
“Changbinnie! Come over and sit next to me!”— a laugh, and Changbin sat next to Jisung instead.
“Seungminnie-ah you’re just soo cute, I could eat you up!”— “Don’t put me in the airfryer again hyung” Seungmin had said with a scowl.
“Chan-hyung, oh won’t you give me a hug?”— Chan just laughed, not even bothering to fulfill Minho’s request.
“Ya! Jeonginnie, want to watch a movie with me?”— “Sorry hyung, I’m going out with Jisung-hyung.”
He had loved him, and yet…
He felt awful.
How had he never noticed?
How hard Minho had been trying, how many times he was forgotten about.
“Hyung I- I’m so sorry” Jisung apologised, his voice weak as tears streamed down his face.
He had been so oblivious. Minho wasn’t a cold person, but looking back, it was obvious how different Minho had been acting.
He felt so stupid.
Jisung recalled how after every encounter Minho seemed to shrink a bit more, lose a bit more of his spark.
Then he thought back to the time he fell in love with Minho.
He had had a teeny tiny, small crush on Minho when they met as trainees, but it had only been a year after their debut when it happened.
-
It wasn’t anything grand — just a regular day, practising for one of their new songs; Side Effects.
Everyone was running on fumes and energy drinks, and Jisung had been making a few too many mistakes during the choreography.
But Minho never got upset, not really, not like he did with the other members.
They were running through the dance when Jisung made a dumb mistake and Minho burst out laughing.
His eyes crinkled up like crescents and he almost collapsed, clutching at his stomach as his laughter bubbled into contagious giggles.
His cheeks were flushed pink and he looked radiant, like he was the epitome of happiness, and Jisung remembers he had never seen a human being look more beautiful.
Correction — he had never seen anything look more beautiful.
It was at that moment that Jisung realised his silly “little crush” had evolved into something more.
Something beautiful. And over time his love grew, just as Jisung did.
-
But looking at Minho now, it was as if that memory was all a dream.
Jisung's stomach twisted.
How had he never realised this? Minho was sunshine.
He had just taken it all for granted, taking and never giving.
Minho’s love wasn’t a transaction — Jisung knew that — but he had never given back to Minho the way Minho had done for him so many times before.
-
“Don’t say things like that. Don’t change.” He said with determination, trying to stop himself from crying more.
He rubbed soothing circles on Minho’s back. “Because you are my happiness. Don’t you get it?”
Jisung bit his lower lip, carefully taking Minho’s face in his hands and wiping away his tears.
“You’re not mean. Not cruel or cold either. You are just you. And you are a wonderful human being, Minho-hyung, the best actually. So don’t be sad. It doesn’t matter if you’re threatening Hyunjin or getting mad at me for messing up the choreo, because you are always joyful.”
Minho just stared at Jisung, his glossy eyes reflecting the lights from overhead as his mouth opened and closed, obviously at a loss for words.
Jisung thought — for the nth time in his life — that he had never seen a sight more beautiful.
It was as if Minho had stolen all the stars from the galaxy and was keeping them captive in his eyes.
But Minho was probably still hurting. It was his turn to be there for his hyung.
-
“You remember when we first met?”
Jisung’s soft whisper filled the silence as he watched Minho‘s head nod slightly.
“Back when I was a trainee I was nervous, and intimidated. And then you walked through those doors and I — ugh, I wanted to hate you. I mean look at you! You were perfect- you are perfect. And I just don’t know. If I’m being honest I think I knew it from the start.” Minho stared at him, eyes wide with anticipation, waiting for Jisung to continue.
Jisung could feel heat creeping up his neck, and he was hoping Minho wouldn’t notice.
The lights were pretty bright out, so the odds weren’t in his favour. He took a deep breath before urging himself to continue.
“That I’m in love with you.”
-
It was in that moment, when Minho blinked, realization dawning, that Jisung knew Minho loved him too. He could read him like a book after all.
His mouth dropped open, and Jisung really wanted to kiss Minho. So if he did, no one would be any the wiser.
Sure, Minho had a long way to go before he felt like himself again, but he wouldn’t be alone.
Jisung would be right beside him. Always and forever.