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The excited brown haired girl was braiding parts of her hair to tie behind— wearing the rest of her hair down for a rare occurrence. She hummed a hatsune miku tune happily in the late winter afternoon in anticipation. The sun was beginning to set and the snow was falling slowly and loose, reflecting light gracefully off of them and the only sound heard could be passing cars and a barking dog after every car had passed. Honami’s cheeks were hot and her heart kept skipping beats, she looked so nice in the dress her girlfriend gifted her for her birthday. It was a complicated dress to describe, but it seemed liked it could be a dress inspired by Snow White based upon the colours. A washed out yellow complimented by blue and red– carefully designed with apples, flowers, and vines and a red bow tied around the waist. In her hair was a small blue bow on her left with an apple in the middle of it to compliment the entire dress, completing the outfit. Of course, this wasn’t a “fancy” dress and too flashy for her enjoyment.. but Honami loved it nonetheless, and knew she loved it too.
The girl slummed down onto her bed once she finished doing her hair and glanced at the time on her phone– it was about twenty more minutes until Shizuku arrived. Honami had kept offering to pick up Shizuku but the older insisted that she would drive instead for some odd reason. Honami had her license and it was HER birthday, it was silly for the lucky girl to have to pick up her guest. In the end though, she had let up and agreed to Shizuku picking her up right at 6pm. She giggled to herself recalling that— oh how it truly was silly, and yet it was oddly endearing of her. Shizuku was awful with directions and her that wasn’t stopping her from this.
To pass the ticking of the clock, Honami scrolled through her phone absentmindedly whilst daydreaming of what could possibly be ahead of her. Would Shizuku be delighted? The thought of upsetting her girlfriend began to set in… and made Honami sick to her stomach, yet the thoughts of Shii being disappointed in her wouldn’t stop invading her mind afterwards. What would she think about the outfit, this is meant for Shizuku but.. and god what if she hates her gift?! After months of planning and work what would she think and it wasn’t good enough to even be worn?! She’s going to hate her and maybe even leave her or ignore her and declare this day an awful day in history, and she can’t risk that, maybe she can fake sick or cancel? God why why she think of something that stupid, damn it Honami just—!
Honami attempted to take a deep breath, but she was hyperventilating.
She set her phone down and stood up as her body screamed at her for heading towards the danger. It wanted to tense and contort into a ball, stay still, protect itself from the harm. Her legs wobbled with every step she took, and her arms were dragging on the floor as if 10 grocery bags were in her hands. Her throat closed up as she began to choke on tears and feel lightheaded, but she knew this is what she had to do to escape this nightmare of an experience.
On her desk was an orange pill bottle. Hona was shaking whilst pressing her hand on the lid to open the container, the strength needed felt like too much for her aching bones, but she managed to pop it open. Using her index finger, she took one of the small blue pills and rested it right under her tongue.
She breathed again, clutching the bottle and the cap in her left hand as if it her a stress toy.
Then again she breathed.
Then it slowed.
Honami shoved the cap back on and carefully set it upright again, soon starting to pace around. She still had to shove the thoughts out of her head and comfort herself. Shizuku hating her gift..? What a joke, why would she even think that, right? Right… the fact she even got a gift for Shizuku would’ve made the woman ecstatic and feel cared immensely for. Shizuku knew about Honami and her anxiety too, well about it infact, so why would Shizuku judge her so much? Her thoughts were stupid. They’re only thoughts.. she can’t be so stupid.
Shizuku never care how Honami presented, she would always find the girl just as beautiful as Honami found her.
Shizuku adored every little thing Honami has done for her, even if things never worked out 100%.
Shizuku stood by Honami’s side and seen every side of her.
Shizuku loved Honami.
With one last breath, she managed to come back to her senses and feel her feet planted in the ground. Although the sharp edge of anxiety hasn’t dispersed, she was able to half function and keep her mind off her thoughts by listening to what was going on around her home. She could hear the muffled voices of her brother talking to their dad, and Shibao prancing around the house proudly. She glanced back over to the window to watch the snow drifting in all directions… and she smiled ever so slightly at the shining beauty of the snow, exactly like Shizuku.
Honami sat back down upon her bed as silent as the universe, soaking up her environment like a black hole. It was 6:00pm before she knew it, and there wasn’t a sign of Shizuku anywhere. Human error exists of course, and the idol could have gotten caught up within some sort of traffic, or worse case scenario.. Shizuku got lost in the snow. It was a light snow though, and it really made the woman think just how she managed to get around with her sense of direction. The snow would’ve made every street look the same in neighbourhoods, and if she couldn’t even figure out her GPS.. oh my.
Honami giggled at the thought.
She made the decision to pick up her phone and text Shizuku, just to check up.
Honami: [ Are you making your way here safe? ]
The moment she turned off her phone, a message from Shizuku popped up.
Shizuku: [ Text Honami I’m Almost There. Turn off. Stop Stop texting her! Goodness what do I do how do you turn this off? Turn off! Stop! ]
Honami: [ Sounds good! (*´︶`*) ]
“Oh my..” she laughed.
Honami put her phone into a small navy blue purse she was going to bring along and made her way to the front door. Due to the snowfall the woman wanted to bundle up before her girlfriend got there as the poor woman was always freezing if the temperature even dropped below five degrees Celsius, unlike Shizuku who may as well just be made out of pure ice. Honami grabbed her jacket off of a hook that hung on the wall and squeezed her arms through it. She looked like an inflatable clown with how puffed the jacket was, but it was all in the name of staying warm. The woman slipped on white knitted gloves and brown winter boots with white faux fur on the top of the rim that didn’t compliment the outfit very well. In the end, it wouldn’t matter to anyone she reminded her self, nobody would care.
Honami took a deep breath a glanced out the window to see the storm begin to brew up, the streetlights becoming fuzzy like a photo of the moon. The street was darkened, and those dim street lamps led to an eerie atmosphere. She grew increasingly worried about Shizuku finding her way here, and that was something that was reasonable to worry about she thought, so she let her nervousness hum inside of her stomach. The humming she heard began to grow louder and sputter— it was Shizuku!
Honami fumbled with the doorknob, swinging the door open just as Shizuku pulled up in front of her house. Shizuku, already waiting in the warm car, waved, her smile visible through the car window. Honami's breath danced in the frozen air as she made her way toward the vehicle, snowflakes brushing against her already reddened cheeks. Opening the car door, warmth wrapped around her, and she couldn't help but light up.
"Happy birthday, Shizuku!" Honami exclaimed, slamming the door shut and leaning over to plant a kiss on Shizu's cheek.
"Thank you," Shizuku replied, returning the affection. However, as Shizuku took a closer look at Honami, her relaxed expression shifted to one of concern.
"Honami…" Shizuku's eyes scanned Honami's face with a hint of worry.
Unaware of the faint smudges and traces of running makeup and tear stains, Honami nervously followed Shizuku's gaze. She watched as Shizuku reached into her own purse, pulling out a handkerchief with an apple embroidered in one of the lowered corners. She has never seen it before, but it was strange that it seemed Shizuku had a handkerchief designed.. just to use for Honami.
Shizuku leaned in close to Honami and flashed a faint smile of ‘it will be be okay’ to her. Gently, Shizuku used the handkerchief to wipe around Honami’s eyes and cheeks, being sure to wipe away anything that was left from before. She was holding Honami’s chin carefully and would tilt it slightly side to side, being sure to do a good job of cleaning her girl up. Once she made sure she was all cleaned up, she gave her a gentle kiss on the nose and pulled away. Shizuku folded the handkerchief and slid it back into her purse in one of the side pockets, then returned to looking at Honami with the same concern as before.
“Hun..” she asked.
“I..” Honami did her best to hold back her tears as she looked her girlfriend in the eyes.
“Take your time, the reservation starts in half an hour.” Shizuku held her hand.
“I feel so stupid..” She managed to mutter. Honami felt so pathetic, she was 22 and still struggling with irrational thoughts like this, thoughts that should only effect a growing teenage girl— thoughts that should’ve only effected an early version of her.
“It’s not stupid, Hona,” she was quick to respond. “The only stupid thing is.. mmm..”
“Huh?”
“I’m thinking…”
“Shizuku…” Honami smiled a little, now distracted from her dread— the airhead lifting her spirit unintentionally.
“People not cleaning up litter?”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Honami chuckled, looking to the side as to avoid the other’s gaze.
“Are you prepared to leave now? We can always change up our plans if-“
“Nono!! I planned this for you! I’ve been preparing this for months, Shizu!” she spoke up.
“Ahh, alright.” Shizuku looked back, reversing the car and leaving her parked position.
“Want me to use the GPS, Shizuku?” Honami looked at the screen of the car— no directions were on the map like usual.
“I did my best to remember where the restaurant was because the map distracts me, I got this! This is practice, yes?”
“I suppose..”
“Have some faith, Honami!” She laughed. “I was late to pick you up because I drove without GPS just to prove I could remember directions.”
“Really?”
“Of course, hehe!”
“I’ll.. have sone faith then. I trust you, you got this.”
The two women smiled at each other tenderly before Shizuku began to drive away.
———————————
Time passed. They've been driving for forty minutes in the harsh storm.
"Shizuku, do you know where we are?" Honami asked, concern plastered across her face as she peered out the passenger window. The storm had intensified with each turn Shizuku made. Streetlights were obscured by a thick blanket of snow, and the sky was pitch black. Even the headlights seemed to struggle against the storm.
Sighing in defeat, Shizuku believed she found a safe haven and pulled into a parking lot, the building barely illuminated. Just outside the main city, the stores around them were closed due to the severity of the storm, with minimal lights visible—except for the one in front of them.
"I'm sorry," Shizuku said, looking at Honami as she turned off the car to conserve gas. "Goodness, how do I make it up? The restaurant is so hard to get into, and I know you put a lot of effort into planning this for me..."
Avoiding Shizuku's saddened gaze, Honami peered through the window.
"...I didn't mean to ruin your plans, truly. I just wanted to show you my memory had gotten better ever since we were teens." Shizuku rested her hand on Honami's shoulder, giving it a soft rub.
"Ruin my plans? Shizuku, it's your birthday, not mine!" Honami turned her head, meeting Shizuku with another worried look. Both women were filled with guilt.
"Yes, but I wanted it to be special and celebrate tonight with you..."
She paused.
"Honami?"
"...mhm?"
As the storm raged outside, Honami's thoughts swirled like the snowflakes. Shizuku's touch offered a comforting warmth in the cold car. The distant glow of the restaurant sign caught Shizuku's attention.
"Honami, I think I see something," Shizuku pointed towards the faintly lit sign. "Is that... a restaurant?"
Honami turned her gaze toward the sign, and a spark of hope ignited in her eyes. "It is! Ohh… Shizuku!"
A shared smile replaced the previous worry as the two women decided to embrace the unexpected turn of events. Leaving the car, they faced the sharp wind and swirling snow, finding comfort in each other's company. Honami walked into the building with a sniffling nose and teary eyes as Shizuku had a wide smile plastered on her face, unfazed by the storm they ran through. The bell on the door rang and the girls scanned the dimly lit restaurant— photos of a single family lined the walls, telling a story of their bond. There wasn’t anyone else in the restaurant— but a teenager sitting at a table studying with faint music blasting from her headphones. She looked up as if she sensed them standing there, instantly calling for a woman who appeared around the corner to greet the two women. She was short with a bit of a humped back— undoubtedly being the grandmother of the girl. Her silver hair was tied back in a tight ponytail with a few loose strands.
“Hi! Welcome!” She smiled, scurrying her way to the two girls. “Celebrating something special I see?”
“My birthday!” Shizuku beamed, giving her a dress a small childish twirl.
“Ohh, lovely, lovely… Right this way.” The woman guided the couple to a booth and set down two menus printed out of paper. The restaurant seemed to make just about anything— having a cuisine with what seemed like every country. Honami thought to herself— they could probably do that because of the lack of customers this place must’ve gotten. It was judgemental to think.. but most places like this get buried under chain restaurants or places in the more developed parts of the city. The two women didn’t speak a word until they finished glancing through the entire menu, that was when Shizuku spoke up.
“You can take off your jacket, the building is heated.” She chuckled.
“If I overheat I may consider it.. I’m freezing still!”
“At least take off your gloves, hun.”
“Oh!” Honami didn’t realise she hasn’t done that yet— despite it just being the two of them, she felt a little embarrassed that she had forgotten to do so.
“Don’t worry hehe~” Shizuku said in a teasing voice.
The teenage girl came to their table soon after, two glasses of water in hand. She seemed to be obligated work here on top of school, it reminded Honami of when she did caretaking for a girl from highschool…
“My grandma asked me to bring you tea, on the house.” She set the mug down in front of Honami as she spoke. “Do you want any cold water? She just could tell you were cold.”
“Oh, thank you so much!” Honami bowed her head.
“Have you made decisions yet?”
“Could I have the Miso soup with Udon in it?”
“Probably,” the girl smiled wider. “You?”
“Oh.. uhm..” Her eyes darted across the menu frantically, throwing the dart at the most interesting thing she saw. “Chicken.. tenders?”
“Right!” the teen exclaimed, leaving the table and the women alone in their own company again.
“Chicken tenders? I wouldn’t have expected that from you,” Shizuku tilted her head, curious at the decision. “I’m surprised they even have Western food…”
“I don’t know, there’s so much, and I guess I looked at the kids menu..” she sunk down into her jacket, embarrassed.
“Oh, no!” She laughed. “Chicken tenders were one of my favourite foods when I was a child, you have nothing to worry about, Hona!”
“But I’m not a child,” she had a small laugh with the woman.
“Ohh none of that matters~” she sighed.
They were in silence yet again, drinking their water and looking at the storm outside— it seemed to have been dying down. The snowflakes were flowing instead of diving, and the howling wind died down to a faint whistle, almost as high as a dog whistle.
“How did you spend your day, Shizuku?”
“Mmm…” the blue haired women glanced up, filing through her cabinets of memories. “I got a new thermos from Shiho and cards from my parents and friends.. I had a livestream with the group and got lots of gifts from the live chat.. oh, and we had it at a cafe— oh, it was a cat café!”
“…With Airi?” Honami nervously giggled.
“She risked it, the cats were all so.. meow meow, pick me! I love you you Airi, please be a nice lady meow meow! She had to leave the stream early, her face was all blown up and like a tomato… and itchy she said.”
Honami smiled endearingly when she spoke.
“I went home and had cupcakes with Shiho and Minori, it was a surprise from Shii.. Awh, they were delicious! Everything she makes is delicious,, but these cupcakes were special for me~”
“Shiho baked?” Honami titled her head— her best friend was amazing at cooking, but she had never knew she tried her hand at baking before.
“With help from Minori, of course,” Shizuku chuckled. “No matter what though I think they’d still taste good, no matter the texture!”
“I’d imagine so, I’m jealous!” Honami took a sip of the hot water.
“Honami?” Shizuku tilted her head a little.
“Mm?” She gulped the water down, burning the back of her mouth. “Ghh..”
“You look really pretty in the dress.” She smiled.
Honami twirled a strand of her own hair, giggling like she was a teenage girl again.
“I know that.. hehe. That dress is rather striking of you, have I not mentioned that yet?
Shizuku was wearing a black long sleeve dress with stars and subtle motifs within it, layered and.. stunning. Honami was left tongue tied with how much more mature it made the woman seem.
“You haven’t, thank you.” She looked out of a window that across the other side of the restaurant. “Do you think we’ll make it home safely?”
“Shizuku, now isn’t time to worry about that, you’re starting to sound like me!” The two of them laughed.
“Oh I know~ But.. I am worried, I was the one who is lost and—“
“I’ll drive, and use a GPS… properly, don’t worry.”
“Oh, Hona..” Shizuku’s smiled turned into one with partial guilt and sadness, the other with joy that the woman was willing to drive back, even after Shizuku’s broken promise.
“How is Shiho at home?”
“Hey, I usually ask that, don’t I~?” Shizuku imitated what Honami had just said, and she couldn’t help but chuckle herself. “She’s happy, like she almost always is, you know? Shii has been out a lot with Minori as I have with you, so we don’t see each other so often.. and we also have our huge crazy lives right, we see each other about as often as we do. She cooks a lot more, when we’re at our parents she does everything there now! If she wasn’t a musician she would’ve been a chef, and oh it’s so funny to hear mom and dad tell her that she can’t make steak every night in a row. You can’t tell but she would do more than anything to have that every night— even with breakfast Shiho would eat that if she wanted to- maybe she has! I should ask her.. we only see each other as often.. Oh, seems I repeated myself again, goodness..”
“I thought so, Shiho normally talks about music and stays on task.. but since our second year you can tell her mind has been occupied with another thing other than Leo/Need. Still, her focus is amazing, staying on task like that? She gives the band the motivation to have to discipline to practice and rehearse so often hehe!”
“That’s my little Shiho! Always working so hard for what she loves… come to think of it, you can sorta see the difference with Minori too in the group. Normally she’s Haruka’s biggest fan, L-O-V-E Lovely Haruka! But since then— she’s been L-O-V-E Lovely Haruka! You know? She’s still Haruka’s number one fan of course, hehe. I don’t think a single person could outdo her shrine in her home. Imagine if we showed that on stream! That would be the end of Minori… or really good? Because it’s like she’s supporting her group member, but she also has the Shii one next to it so maybe it’s too risky or…”
Honami tilted her head at the odd analogy. She couldn’t tell the difference between her tones but let it slide, knowing it would only feel more confusing if she continued to explain. Endearing, nonetheless. “I thought More More Jump was all for being true to yourself? I think true fans would love to see that someday.. unless your company doesn’t want that, I don’t want you all to get fired, hehe.”
“Heavens no! I’d have to do so much asking, I don’t think we can just showcase it all of a sudden, that would be the risk.”
“Being an idol is so complicated sometimes…”
“Yeah?… I think it’s worth it.”
“You were practically built to be an idol in my eyes.”
“Heh, I guess so..”
“Like.. with your talent! Singing! Kindness and quirks!! I don’t-“
“Honami, I understand what you mean, no need to overthink it, I know.” She changed her smile to the comforting one they’re both familiar with— one that said ‘you’re okay.’
“Okay..” she shyed into her jacket yet again.
————————————
“Chicken tenders and fries for you.. and Udon Miso Soup!” The teen girl presented the dishes proudly— and the pride was well deserved. The food had the most aromatic and delicious scent the two girls have ever smelled, next to fresh apple pie. It was like a home cooked meal like no other, you could see the hard work and love that the dishes had.. was it truly all from the single grandma back there? Honami continued thinking to herself, getting lost within her theory of who actually cooked their food
“Hu-!” Honami flinched, feeling her shin be lightly tapped by someone’s foot.
“Do you need anything else from me?” The teenage girl smiled.
“Not at all, thank you, I’m sorry!!” Honami bowed slightly.
“No worries!”
The two watched her walk back to the small corner she had previously been skiing her work in, effortlessly continuing from where she left off half an hour ago. Without speaking- the starving girls both had their first tastes of the meals. Both of their eyes lit up in perfect unison when the food touched their taste buds— it was like nothing they’ve ever had before, even at home where their parents are generally good chefs- even Honami! The miso soup was rich and filled with a generous amount of tender tofu, and a large amount of perfectly cooked udon which absorbed some of the miso- pairing amazingly with the soup and mixing together in a lovely harmony. The chicken was extra crispy and the batter was well seasoned- but it wasn’t overly seasoned. The crunch sounded like a symphony with the juicy chicken inside of it. Even the fries that came along with it were something she was blown away by. The balance between crispness, salt, grease, and softness were all handled beautifully and tasted nothing like a fast food chain– let alone any chain restaurant.
The two women haven’t realised how quiet they were until the teen girl stopped for a visit at their table a few minutes afterwards.
“Is everything to your liking..?” She looked the two in the eyes— but her hands were nervously picking at each other anxiously.
“It’s lovely.”
“I really like it.”
The girl smiled and walked off, satisfied with their answers.
Shizuku finally spoke up, “How is it, really?”
“It’s.. amazing. I love it.” Honami wished she had more words to describe the meal— but they were bulldozed over by her senses, completely overriding her thinking.
“I wish I could tell you how good this is too, I think we know how we both feel about it.” She giggled.
“If we don’t have words.. could I try your meal..?”
“Ah! I was gonna going to ask you that, I was too nervous. I don’t want you to do something like sacrifice your last bit of your meal just for my sake. In exchange, try the miso soup.”
The two exchanged dishes and eagerly began to finish off the other’s meal, both met with the same amazement as their original dish. The surprising thing with that is the fact Honami isn’t the hugest fan of Miso soup.. and she was in love with this. The earthy undertones of the salty and savoury soup
"This beats the fancy restaurant I planned," Honami said, her laughter light and nervous.
"Oh, does it ever. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe I should never go there now," Shizuku laughed along.
"Maybe so... you just always talked about how much you wanted to go there," Honami stated, handing the Miso soup back to Shizuku. "I'm full, finish it up."
Shizuku gladly took back her bowl of Miso and resumed sipping as Honami watched, a warm smile on her face.
Now in a comfortable silence, the hum of the heater from the ceiling provided a soothing background. Occasionally, the distant sounds of passing cars added a subtle flavour to the ambiance. Honami's thoughts danced with the swirling steam from the soup as she absentmindedly hummed a tune, one of Leo/Need's early songs. Shizuku, having just finished her soup, recognized the melody and quietly muttered the lyrics along with her. The two didn't exchange glances, finding comfort in the shared music and lyrics
“To all around the world, to your own self, let’s deliver the song to them..” Shizuku finished off— noting in her mind that it was cringeworthy of her to do… but no one else was here to critique her for that.
“You’re all done here?” The teen girl stood at the end of the table with her hands intertwined in her lap with a warming customer service smile… the two weren’t sure if she was there for a while.
“Yes, yes we are. The bill please.” Honami looked over at the girl as she organised the dishes, stacking them carefully to take away.
Shizuku leaned back in her seat with a content smile, her eyes beaming with bliss. “Birthdays are like a measurement of how far we’ve come… this mark makes me the happiest. It’s also a lot like life sometimes, like tonight.”
Honami took a moment to understand her metaphor, piecing it together silently in her head.
“I’ve been working on my own challenges, and you’ve been improving too, and if you look back to when we were teens.. you’ll see how much better we’ve gotten with ourselves. I love seeing you speak your mind more often and not be afraid to.. mm.. disagree with people?”
“I love that you’re able to not worry about being perfect all the time.” Honami blurted out as a response. “Well… anymore, you’ve grown a lot…”
“Hehe.. exactly! We’re improving on our past issues. Like life as well.. tonight was an unexpected detour, and I felt really bad for ruining your plans and then making you feel bad and not so good feelings. Ups and downs! Rollercoaster! Everything!”
The light switched on in Honami’s head and she finally understood. “Ohhh I see!!”
Shizuku giggled.
“Thank you for eating here today!” The girl handed Honami the bill and walked off.
Honami counted the money and left it for the girl.
“Should we still talk for a bit?” Shizuku tilted her head as Honami set the money on the table.
“I’d love to.”
—————————-
Honami and Shizuku were sitting in the woman’s car— both warming their hands up by the heaters. The two forgot to fully warm up the car before running in, and one of the two shivered more than the other… Both could see their breath in the warning car, the overhead lights highlighting it as significant.
“I wish I took some of… my own soup just to warm up in the car like practice…” Shizuku shuddered, huddling up close to Honami.
Honami could only chuckle, she somehow managed to stay warm instead of the other.
The two sat there quietly, focusing on warming up and listening to the 90s city-pop that played in the radio. The snow had finally begin to let up, and the world slowed down for them. It felt like a serene moment for the two as the street lights twinkled.
Honami then shifted— removing herself from Shizuku and putting her hand in the steering wheel and adjusting the mode on the car.
“We really should get driving now, Shizu..”
“Yes yes, of course. I’m sorry for getting us lost again.”
“I wouldn’t be able to find my way in a storm either, no need to apologise for something like this.” She smiled adoringly to Shizuku.
Shizuku sighed, deciding it best to stay quiet— any more words she would try to say would only come out as an apology. Sending this, Honami gave the silver haired woman a small rub in the hand before backing out of the parking lot carefully— knowing they had quite the driving journey between them, but she could navigate it no problem.
She has the confidence to navigate most roads now— even when they were bumpy and took a sudden swerve.