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And if Jimin hadn’t practically dragged him by the ear (threatening to hide his stash of strawberry short cakes) he really wouldn’t be here right now.
Alas, here he is. Kim Taehyung at the gym.
He winces. That sentence in itself is worth some serious cringing.
How could Jimin do this to him?
After all of those nights binge-watching his favorite episodes of Digimon Adventure, snuggling up on the couch with the orange-head, how fucking could he? That monster.
“Are you done yet?” Taehyung asks, exasperated.
Jimin’s eyes flick towards him from where he’s on the floor doing his sixth set of push-ups, “I don’t know what you’re complaining about.” He says, huffing because the extra breath wasted to talk is draining his precious energy.
He finishes up with an excited whoop and sits on his heels, chugging some water as he continues to glare at his best friend, “All you’ve been doing is sitting there.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes, “Let me assure you, my dear chim-nugget, I am doing the most important exercise of them all.”
Jimin gets up to pull on a shirt (yes, he was shirtless- yes, a girl did trip on her way in when she saw him) and looks to Taehyung with disbelief, “And what is that?”
“Breathing.” He says casually, standing up from where he was crumbled against the floor mats after his time on the treadmill- “Jimin I don’t think I can feel my lungs” “You’re overreacting” “I need oxygen Jimin” “Taehyung you’ve been on there for a minute. Get yourself fucking together, you twig.”- and looks to Jimin matter-of-factly.
“You’re impossible. Why am I friends with you?” Taehyung bats his eyes at him, and waddles on over to hug the older, “You know you love me, Chimchim.” He says, wrapping his lanky arms over the muscled walrus.
“Yeah, I do. That’s why I haven’t kicked you out of the apartment, yet.” He scoffs when Taehyung gasps dramatically, and pushes him off of him, “Get off of me, I’m sweating waterfalls over here.”
Taehyung pouts, “You don’t want my cuddles?”
“No- I don’t want your cuddles when I’m bathing in my body secretions.” Taehyung’s face scrunches up with a sour expression, “Okay, but when you say it like that-”
Jimin ignores him and grabs a towel from a nearby shelf, “Head on down to the car, okay. I’ll finish up here, quick, and meet you down there.”
Taehyung gleams at that, face instantly lighting up at the news of being able to go home, “Okay!” He pipes, flashing a rectangular grin at his friend before making his way out.
Jimin’s white mercedes sticks out like a sore thumb in the gym’s almost completely vacant parking lot. And as Taehyung walks towards the damn thing- that’s parked way too far away to be reasonable- he notices just how cold it had gotten from the time that they had arrived.
Suddenly his loose white shirt and shorts didn’t seem to be the most ideal piece of clothing at the moment. The chilly breeze sinks in through the cuts on his shoulders and he pulls the shirt closer around himself; wrapping his arms snuggly around his waist.
It’s somewhat comforting, but he definitely regrets not bringing a sweater.
That thought aside, he can faintly make out a lone figure leaning against their car in the dim moonlight. What the heck?
As he walks closer he can see that the guy is decked out in a leather jacket and ripped skinny jeans. Taehyung runs through his head if he recognized the guy from the university possibly, but no one familiar crosses his mind. Strange.
“Can I help you?” He asks, the keys to his car clinking in his pocket all too loud for the silent night now- what if the guy wanted to steal the car or something?
The guy pushes himself off of the side door and stands tall- a whole two inches taller than Taehyung- and says, “Actually, yes you can.”
Taehyung raises an eyebrow at him, “Do you mind telling me where the nearest bus stop is? My friend was supposed to pick me up, but he ended up not showing.”
Taehyung’s face sets with understanding, “Oh-” and he smiles with ease, nodding, “-It’s that way.” He says, pointing.
The stranger looks to the way he’s showing him, and sighs with a frown.
“It’s not that far.” Taehyung offers, hoping to relieve him somewhat, “How far away is it?” The stranger asks.
Taehyung shrugs, “Um, I don’t know. Maybe a five minute walk?”
The man hums, and his voice is deep- maybe it’s just the fact that they’re the only ones there- his voice echoes in the boundless skies, “You said that way, right?”
Taehyung nods in confirmation, tipping his chin towards that direction, “Yeah.”
“Would you mind walking me there? You said it wasn’t that far right?” The man looks him in the eyes, and his gaze intensifies.
“Um-” He thinks about how Jimin might as well take another ten minutes up there, and why not, “Yeah, sure I guess.” He says, tugging at his sleeves when he feels more cold air rush in.
The man smiles thinly and raises a hand in a ‘lead the way’ gesture.
Taehyung smiles at him and starts walking, pausing to see whether the guy is following or not.
The silence between them is almost impenetrable and Taehyung feels the need to break it, “So, um, what’s your name?” He asks.
The man pauses, as if hesitating, but after a reluctant couple of seconds, he answers, “Yugyeom.”
“Oh.” Taehyung breathes. Well that kind of killed the conversation. His feelings are almost hurt when the guy reciprocates the question- much to his surprise, “What’s yours?” He asks, eyes never leaving Taehyung’s face.
“Taehyung.” He says, in a heartbeat, and then bites down on his tongue when he thinks about how Jimin is going to give him shit for it later. His voice already ringing in his head “How many times have I told you not to give your name to strangers?”
Taehyung shrugs internally, pushing the thought aside.
They finally reach the stop, and Taehyung prepares to part ways, “Well, here’s your place.” He’s rocking on the balls of his feet, and god it’s so cold- he’s slightly shivering.
The guy thanks him and they say their goodbyes.
Taehyung starts walking back, until a sudden thought hits him- why was that guy waiting by their car? He twirls on his feet to face the guy again, and freezes at the sight of the stranger staring directly at him- as if he had never left sight of him.
A flash of danger crosses Taehyung’s mind then, and he stumbles over his feet to start walking faster towards his car. He hears heavy footsteps behind him and takes a quick glance over his shoulder to see the stranger coming at him.
And that’s when he panics. His heart thumps vehement in his chest, and he feels a vile taste in his mouth- oh god, oh god, oh god. He’s going to die. Kim Taehyung will die tonight, and it will have been because Jimin took the heathenous decision to bring him along to the godforsaken gym, and god dammit he’s going to kill that midget if he makes it out of this alive.
He makes a beeline for the car, and he’s running now. Using all of that saved up energy from not exercising to save himself from this jackass chasing after him.
And the dilemma hits him when he’s about twenty feet away from the vehicle- plowing towards it at full speed. He doesn’t have time to open the door and scramble to safety with the distance that the guy is gaining on him. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.
Hot tears are falling out of his eyes, and he’s starting to slow down- alright you can start pointing fingers now- and he’s scared.
He sees a nearby alley and heads for it, hoping to lose the guy within the thin streets.
He’s running in through the sidewalk of the alley when he sees another man walking along the same road as them. He sobs in relief, “Oh thank God.” He wheezes, running for the stranger.
He rams into the guy when he’s reached him, “Help!” Taehyung throws himself onto the man, and clings to him tight- maybe suffocating the guy, but he really couldn’t care less-, “H-help. Please.” He pleads, pointing at Yugyeom- who’s come to a complete stop, staring amusedly at the pair.
Taehyung looks up at the man holding him with desperate eyes and sees him staring back, eyes dark and void of emotion.
Taehyung loosens his arms when he feels the man’s arms tighten slightly around where he’d grabbed him by the waist.
“Is this guy bothering you?” He asks, and Taehyung’s hands make it to his chest and try to make him loosen his grip on him.
Taehyung nods his head slowly, as if in a trance, “Y-yes.”
A deep frown sets into the stranger’s face and he looks up at Yugyeom, glaring.
He let’s loose on his hold on Taehyung and lets him step aside. Walking slowly towards Yugyeom, he throws him an intimidating grimace, “What did I tell you?” He spits.
Taehyung watches with confused eyes as this Yugyeom guy seems to almost back away in front of the stranger, “Jungkook, you told me to get him. And he ran. What did you want me to do?”
‘Jungkook’ is at Yugyeom’s face now, shoving at him harshly as he goes tumbling a few steps back, “I told you not to lay your hands on him.”
“How else was I going to grab him?” Yugyeom scowls, face pitching towards the ground.
Jungkook steps close so that there’s barely a couple of inches separating them. He scoffs, pushing Yugyeom’s face away from him, “You’re a filth.” He mutters, turning to finally face Taehyung.
Taehyung observes slowly from a distance, gasping when the two men turn to face him. Fuck, why didn’t he run?
This Jungkook guy apparently knows this Yugyeom guy, and this Yugyeom guy was apparently planning on doing something to him, and oh my god where is his orange-haired muscle packed midget, when you need him?
“Jimin!” He screams, making a run for it in the direction farthest away from the two men.
He yelps when a hand grabs on hard to his arm and yanks him backwards.
Those dried up tears disappear underneath a new wave, and Taehyung starts to thrash hysterically, “Let me go! Let me GO!” He yells, trying to tug his arm away from Jungkook.
Yugyeom instead comes from the other side and presses him back roughly against the brick wall of the alleyway.
He’s going to die. He’s going to die young and single and a complete virgin.
“Please! Please don’t! I’ll give you all of my money! Please don’t kill me!” He screeches, hoping to make himself heard further down the road.
Jungkook and Yugyeom instantly freeze and glance at one another confused before looking back to the older, “What are you talking about? Why would we kill you?” Yugyeom asks, a look of bewilderment crossing their faces.
Taehyung sniffles and calms down a little to see the both of them clearly, “You’re not going to kill me?”
Yugyeom straightens himself up and shakes his head shyly, “No, why would we want to kill you? We’ve got lives. We don’t want to end up in jail, what are you talking about?”
Taehyung’s face morphs into one of blatant perplexity, “W-what?” His eyebrows fold in, and he stares at the two of them for a long while, before, “Then why were you both planning to abduct me?”
Yugyeom laughs, a deep and throaty chuckle, “Oh.” He nudges at his friend with his elbow, poking him in the ribs where he’s ticklish, “Jungkook, over here’s got a scent fetish.”
Jungkook punches him on the shoulder, “I told you not to tell anyone man. What the fuck.”
Yugyeom rolls his eyes, “Well, apparently, he caught a whiff of you while you passed by him in the halls or something, and really liked how you smelled.” He cups his hand and whispers to Taehyung, “He’s such a creep. I strongly suggest you reject him.” And straightens back up, “He’s been after me ever since to find out who you were. And badabing-badaboom. Here we are.”
Taehyung pulls the ends of his sleeves into balls to wipe at his tired eyes, “Wait. So, you guys weren’t going to stab me and leave me here to bleed out in this abandoned alleyway all alone?”
Jungkook nods his head, glancing at Yugyeom and then back at the older, “Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.”
Taehyung glares at the both of them, “You assholes! I thought I was going to die! You fucking morons.” He pushes Jungkook roughly backwards and pounds at his chest with his fists, “How could you do that to me? I thought it was the holy end!”
Jungkook laughs when he sees how the older’s face scrunches up cutely as he continues to punch him, “Stop, stop. That tickles!”
“Oh and now you’re going to offend my punches, huh? I hate you!”
Jungkook restrains Taehyung’s wrists with ease, to hold him from hitting him again, and smiles at him warmly, “I’m sorry.” He says, genuine.
Taehyung wrenches his hands away from Jungkook to fold them over his own chest and huffs, pouting at the gravel.
It’s silent for an entire minute, while Taehyung continues to kick at rocks on the road with frustration, “Why did you ask for where the bus stop was then?” He asks Yugyeom.
Jungkook looks to his friend then, “Why’d you ask him where the bus stop was?”
Yugyeom’s got an embarrassed grin plastered on himself, “I, um, panicked?” Jungkook smirks at him and he replies, “What what was I supposed to say? ‘Hey Taehyung, you don’t really know me, but my friend wants me to kind of grab you and bring you to him so that he can smell you?’ What a gentlemen he’d find you to be, Gguk.” He says, and Jungkook’s face contorts with horror, “Okay, wow. No-”
“Taehyung!” A high-pitched cry breaks through their air, and Taehyung turns to see his best friend standing, hunched over and panting, at the entrance of the alley way.
“Taehyung!” Jimin screams again, this time running at the three of them with all of the force his five-foot-eight body can manage, “I have come Taehyung! I have come to save you!”
He shoves the two taller men to the ground and guards Taehyung with his smaller body. After he affirms pained groaning from them both, he swivels around to face his friend and hooks a hand around his head to settle it into his chest, “Shh, don’t cry, Tae. I’m here now.”
Taehyung rolls his eyes and shoves Jimin off of him, “Jimin, they weren’t going to do anything to me.”
Jimin takes a moment to process that, before blinking, “Really? Huh, it sure did seem like it.”
Taehyung sighs, “I know! For me too. You know you both really need to start scheming better if you’re planning to do shit like this.” He says looking at them on the ground.
Yugyeom nods in understanding, and Jungkook throws them a thumbs-up, face scrunching with mild discomfort.
“So what were these two imbeciles doing here cornering you up like that?” Jimin asks, patting down a strand of hair peeking out of the side of Taehyung’s head.
“Jungkook, over here, wanted to smell me apparently.”
Jimin’s eyes widen, and he pushes Taehyung’s body behind himself once again, “Stand back, Tae. I’ve heard stories of people that have weird fetishes like this. They’re dangerous.”
Taehyung huffs, “Chim, stop being dramatic. Look, he’s harmless. He looks like a bunny.”
Jungkook gasps, offended, and Yugyeom snorts, “Ha! Dude, classic.”
Jimin narrows his eyes on the boy, “You. Shut it.” And then after a while, “Aren’t you Kim Yugyeom?” He nods, blinking up at the older in confusion.
Jimin smiles thinly, “Min Yoongi’s in your music literature class isn’t he?”
Yugyeom’s eyes bulge out and he swallows thickly, “Y-you know him?” Jimin nods, “He’s my boyfriend.” Yugyeom gasps and scrambles up, bowing so sincere and so deep to him, “Please don’t make him hurt me.”
Jimin laughs at that, eyes almost disappearing, and smiles wide, “He won’t if you behave yourself.” And Taehyung can tell that there really isn’t any malice, but Yugyeom nods his head furiously, trying not to appease the older. And then Jimin glances over at Jungkook, “And you.” He points a finger at Jungkook who’s still lying on the floor, “I thought you had a crush on Taehyung. Why would you scar him like this?”
Taehyung’s stiffens in his place, “What.”
“Jimin, I thought you promised never to tell!”
“No I promised to stay out of it. And if I had known this was how you were planning to introduce yourself, I would have never done that either.”
Taehyung’s still frozen, “You know Jungkook?” He asks befuddled, mind too busy trying to process everything that’s going on at the moment.
Jimin turns to him and waves him off, “Yeah. Jeon Jungkook. Two years younger than us. Had a crush on you since freshman year. I thought he was a lost cause for sure. But apparently the moron’s got more of an idiot complexion to him than I figured.”
“Stop insulting me, shortass.”
“Why couldn’t you just ask him out like a normal human being?”
“Why couldn’t your brain func-”
“Oh shut up!” Taehyung hollers, pushing Jimin aside to glare at the younger, “You.” He looks at Jungkook, “Pick me up at eight o’clock from my dorm tomorrow. Don’t be late. We’re going to the beach and we are going to have fun. None of this crap tomorrow, you hear me?”
Jungkook’s eyes widen with shock but then he nods his head vigorously, “O-okay. Yeah.”
“And you better bring a hell lot of money, ‘cause after what you’ve put me through, it’s going to take a hell lot of convincing and shortcakes to get you on my good side.”
Jungkook nods again, not stopping until Taehyung looks away, “Yugyeom. I don’t know who you are, or what you do. But you’re carrying my books around for the rest of the year, so prepare yourself.”
And with that he storms off, babbling under his breath about how, “No one follows proper dating etiquette anymore-” and, “We should all go back to the romantic days where courting was a thing and a necessity to propose your love for someone.”
Because hell- this is not how someone's supposed to ask you out, damn it.
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