Work Text:
Grieve isn’t a thing. Grieve isn’t a thing for most Ultras, no? Every time a life was lost, the grieving period for Ultras were never that long because they simply have a purpose— and that is, to keep everyone safe and sound at any cost. That’s it.
So why is Mebius’s heart so heavy?
Why does it feel like the world’s crumbling?
Why’s everything blurry?
Why did Mechazamu had to go?
When he blew his friend’s up, poor wording, really— he didn’t think it’d affect him this much. He had always been strong, optimistic— naïve, maybe? Was he? Is he? Mechazamu said he was, or maybe he was just too good at this act. He had handled plenty, Kaijus, evil aliens, allies who had turned evil, but loss wasn’t something he had ever had to handle.
He refused to.
Plenty.
It’s suffocating.
How does anyone ever do it?
Is that why Ultras tend to mourn— or not at all for a day or so? That’s sick. But also, it makes perfect sense. It really does.
Grieving isn’t exactly the most pleasant emotion you’ll ever experience in your life, so Mebius understood the sentiment. He never really did learn to cope healthily either. Despite his tough front, he has always wanted to just take a break from it all, but there was no breaks waiting for Ultras— especially an Ultra of his caliber. He’s an Ultra Brother for God’s sake. He’s one of a kind, not everyone could be an Ultra Brother. They’re selected for a special reason— because they’re strong. Physically and mentally.
Supposedly.
Mebius wasn’t himself when they came back from the monsters’ graveyard, as Taro had noticed. He’s been spacing out more often than not, and his performance was a bit lacking. Impressive than most, but lacking. Which wasn’t like their usual ever the strong and cheerful Mebius.
And so, he did whatever any sane Ultra would do, backed the said red Ultra into a wall.
Which earned him an incredulous and confused look from Mebius.
What in the name of the name of his Father is he doing?
“Instructor?” Came Mebius’ gentle and caring voice that snapped Taro out of his trance.
He coughed, once, twice—
“It’s okay, if I was you I would’ve run away.” Is that Mebius’ way of saying he’s shameless? Argh, that’s not the point!
“Uh.. that’s not the reason I stopped you,” he said, face still a bit red from the stunt he had pulled earlier— which reminds him that he hasn’t even stopped caging Mebius in his arms.
The younger simply tilt his head, giving him, the older one, the permission to continue.
“You’ve been spacing out a lot.. I just wanted to check in on you. You’ve never been like this before.”
The younger seems to tense for a bit before calming down.
“It’s nothing, really.. just work stress. Taiga has been more difficult these days, if you know what I’m saying.”
That’s actually believable, since Taro lives with Taiga.That kid was never the easy type, full of ambitions, hyperactive, but Taro had also noticed these traits in Mebius when he first took the younger under his wing. What was the chances that his son would come out resembling his dearest student?
But he also noticed another similarity thing between these two,
They just looooooves to deflect.
“You know what I’m talking about, Mebius. You’d be in a daze in the middle of the day as if you're in another world— you used to be a worthy opponent during trainings, now you’re the same level as Astra when he’s drunk.”
A pause.
“What does Astra looks like when he’s drunk?"
Wild, was the first thought that came to Taro’s mind. Most of them when drunk becomes another person— Mebius doesn’t really go out with them for drinks, the kid doesn’t drink much, said he’d act different if there’s alcohol induced into him—
Which Taro would’ve loved to see since that one wet dream he had centuries ago— what?
“You’ll have to come and hangout with us for the answer, but back to the topic at hand. I know when you’re bullshitting, respectfully, almost everyone could tell when you are, except Zett. He might just be as gullible as a rock.”
Which is true to some extents.. Taro would hate to be in Zero’s place, speaking from the instances he had seen from afar. No. Just no. Mebius is enough. And Ginga. And his rebellious son, Taiga. Those three are already a headache put together, his beloved headache, but the point still stands.
He paused the thought when Mebius finally, and suddenly reached his boiling point. Like he couldn't keep his emotions at bay anymore.
“I just— I killed Mechazamu. I killed him,” the confession came out strained, like Mebius was holding back something. Tears. It was also filled with so much guilt and the defeated look on his face only adds to Taro’s worries.
“I thought it could’ve worked— I was so caught in the moment that I failed to notice Mefilas. I was so weak I couldn’t even pull the stupid stick out of him—” a pause, “that stupid Monster Battleshitter.”
That genuinely caught Taro off guard and he almost, almost, laughed before calming himself down to let Mebius vent out his frustrations.
“I thought it’d be easier to blame another person— the three of you. Why did they just watch? Why didn’t they do anything? Why couldn’t they be faster? I thought it’d make everything easier. I thought I’d cope better if I just shift the blame to another person, but it didn’t. I murdered him for fuck’s sake. I took his life twice. It didn’t feel great. I mean, I guess— murders weren’t supposed to feel great—”
There was a look in Taro’s eyes that made the younger pause.
“It’s not your fault.”
Mebius let out a sigh of frustration, irritation and guilt bubbling in his chest, gnawing away.
“It’s easy just to say that, isn’t it? I’ve kept this down for centuries, a millennia even! Everyone just kept dying on me. Over and over and over again— there’s no end to it! I couldn’t even save Hiroto, Mother of Ultra had to interfere, I couldn’t stop Ampera from killing Zamusha, and I couldn’t see my friends when they died!”
There was angry and regretful tears now.
“I just have to come to Earth and they had to break the news to me, one way or another. When Marina died— I don’t know if I should be grateful I saw her when she won that Grand Prix or be forever in guilt for not attending her funeral or see her in her last moments. And it just continues with each of them. I missed them so bad, but the only thing I could do now is wait for my own time to keel over— which is not happening in the near or foreseeable future since I’m pretty sure that as long as anyone could find my cold and dead body, they would resurrect me because I’m an asset, aren’t I?”
It genuinely broke Taro’s heart to hear that Mebius only thought of himself as an asset. What does that even mean? Can’t he see that he meant the world to most? To Taro, especially. There would be so many people that would be heartbroken once he’s gone, but Mebius’ grieve goes so deep that it clouded his judgements. There was so many things that Mebius had accomplished and has yet to do so and yet, he wishes to—
“You were never a murderer, Mebius. Zamusha did it for you, Mechazamu did so for you, and I’m sure your human friends were grateful for your presence all this time, you can’t mourn them forever, but you can live with the memories. It’s stupid— the standards we have as an Ultra— to keep fighting after losing a comrade, that’s our responsibility, yes, but— I hope you know that it’s okay to take it slow. I'm your teacher, you can take however long you want, I’ll wait for you.”
The way Mebius body just tensed and then the tears and then Taro’s big arms wrapped itself around the younger one, patting his back to soothe the younger's pain and worries.
After the whole heart to heart talk, Taro’s chest is now covered in fluids that he would much rather it be something Mebius’ orgasm— else. Ahem!
Anyways. Here we have the guilty Mebius, trying to wipe the fluid away from Taro’s chest.. through tears.
“It’s okay, Meb. It’s no biggie.”
The wailing became louder.
Hah.
“C’mon, let’s have lunch. My treat.” The way the younger immediately sober up and is already marching towards their favourite restaurant had Taro chuckling.
Oh, he desperately needs that Ultra to be his.