Chapter Text
Haruka was laying alone, against his empty bed on the cold floor of his bedroom. He was pretty much lifeless. With the way he was looking, might as well get Shidou in here to confirm that he was deceased. His clothes uncomfortably stuck to his pale skin that tightly wrapped around his muscles and bones, his half-open eyes zoning out at the bare floor, and a miserable smile planted on his weary face. His now messy hair was often brushed by Muu, but she ran out earlier with some horrifed expression on her face, and Haruka couldn't pinpoint why. Now there was an ugly sight of wet, shattered glass plastered in front of him.
//
Before all this useless trouble, Muu was kind enough to bring another generous helping of food for the boy. He could hear the familiar sound of her happily humming and bouncing through the corridors before she swung open his door. She gently laid the tray of curry and rice next to him, and scolded him to take care of himself better before she twirled and closed the door behind her.
Haruka trembled a bit. Poor Muu was wasting her time. He was grateful that she didn't give up on him so quickly. He got up with shaky breaths before bending down to scoop up the tray. He took a spoon and mushed everything together, leaving a saucy swirl of curry sauce. He turned to face and dumped it all into the trash bin he kept behind his sad bed.
Only saucy traces of it all remained on the plate, making it look like he happily accepted to devour it all.
He slowly spun around to go miserably lay beside his bed when a glass of water hit the ground, shards flying just by his feet, and Muu ran out. He did not piece it immediately together, but he then realized that she just watched him throw away something meant to comfort and keep him pretty much healthy.
At least she's now fully aware of what his plan is.
She knew the basics of it all; Haruka was going to protest against Es to prove her innocence. She did know his life was on the line...but Muu was obviously going to be voted innocent!! Their threat was surely going to work. Why wouldn't it? Why vote her guilty if Haruka was going to die?? Does Es not care about poor, little Haruka?? And Muu was still feeding and bring Haruka delicious, warm food!! She made sure to only bring things he'd enjoy. She'd carefully think about what textures Haruka hates swallowing, and the strong smells he quickly turn away from, and she brought all the things he enjoyed eating, the food that brought only happiness and comfort to consume.
Muu had been hearing those violent and disturbing voices, all calling her unforgivable and a murderer. Muu isn't a murderer; she just did what she had to do. Es surely understands that. It's simple really. And now those voices just have to go. They're all quite bothersome and mean.
So why was she so horrified seeing Haruka willingly put himself in the way of harm? Isn't that how Es will get it?? By seeing Haruka hurt himself?? It's weird. It's really weird. It's so weird that it makes her stomach urk. It makes her want to scold and yell at Haruka for doing strange things to himself. It makes her want to run away and wail.
//
Haruka looked confused, but then, he just couldn't stop smiling!! Muu must really care about him to be showing such strong emotions. Such beauty, it's so...humane. He could feel tears running down his disgusting face, wrapping themselves under his chin. He felt nauseous. His body wasn't ready to preform all of his strange emotions today.
A few of the other prisoners barged into his bedroom, but Haruka couldn't tell who was who, his vision was getting hazy...he was so, SO tired. He wanted to give up then and there, but the thought of a stress-free Muu kept nudging him to cling onto the thin thread of life. So when Muu followed after everyone else, with her hands covering her mouth, he couldn't take his eyes off of the image of her. Well, he thought it was her. Her appearance greatly stuck out. Her kindness was unmatched from the others, who were always too focused on themselves. As soon as he was certain she wouldn't take her eyes off of him, he sighed shakily, relieved, and let his eyes close.
//
Haruka awoke in a new bed. It was much comfier than his previous bed. There was a weighted blanket and a few plushies (that he was sure belonged to Yuno) all on his new bed.
His eyes explored the new setting. A gentle man he was sure resembled Shidou was just on the other side of the room. Shidou was fiddling with weird shiny things over a long counter, muttering to himself. He turned around and a soft smile formed on his face.
"Sakurai-Kun, how are you feeling? It's good to see you already awake." Shidou was still slightly occupied with whatever he was doing, but his tone of voice remained calm and gentle as it usually was whenever he spoke to anyone besides Kazui.
Haruka didn't answer yet. He turned to his right and saw Mahiru in another bed. She was resting for now. She was breathing at an average pace. Her blankets didn't seem that they bear any weight like Haruka's. That was okay though, he liked his new blanket a lot.
"Sakurai-Kun? Are you alright?" Shidou had already stopped what he was doing, only focused on Haruka.
"A-ah...Yes...I am, Shidou-San. Thank you for worrying about me..." Haruka fiddled with his pillow while he spoke.
"We will slowly reintroduce food into your body, Sakurai-San. You can't eat so much and so suddenly, you may suffer from an overwhelming amount of nutrients that your body now cannot handle anymore..." Shidou walked over to help adjust Haruka's pillow into a more comfortable position. "It seems you've been avoiding food for a while..." Shidou paused as Haruka peered at him with tired eyes. "Is there a reason you're...starving yourself..? You do know that you can tell me anything, however...strange."
And suddenly, the blankets felt like they were suffocating him and wrapping him in a tight and uncomfortable hug, and the all the different animal plushies were all staring unsettlingly at him, and the air became much colder and humid. Haruka felt like sinking into the bed. He never liked confrontation about himself. He was eager to explain his plan to Es during his interrogation, but now, he was met with someone who had different intentions.
"It's fine if you can't tell me now. But you should eventually, it'll help me care for you better." Shidou reached out to pat Haruka's head. "I'll ask Mukuhara-San to help bathe you, if you're comfortable with that. He won't be weird, nothing strange or sexual will happen to you."
"I...I-I...Okay...sorry..." Haruka mumbled. Great...now another adult is going to be involved.
Kazui was also kind. He treated everyone with care and respect, no matter the person...except for that one time with Kotoko. He'll definitely be asking a lot of questions.
//
"Okay...Kazui-San. I'm in the bathtub..."
Kazui strolled back into the bathroom. Fun, large bubbles and rubber ducks filled the tub. There were bubbles everywhere, it covered all of Haruka...maybe because only his head and a bit of his shoulders stuck out the tub. The water was warm and relaxing to sit in. Kazui prepared it. Kazui was still in his prison uniform.
Kazui began to wash Haruka's hair. He took the shampoo bottle, read its instructions and massaged it properly into Haruka's head.
"So...😅" Kazui started "How are you doing 😉? I heard that you needed help to clean your hair properly 😎." ...Kazui already said all this before they entered the bathroom.
"I'm doing...okay, Kazui-San...I'm sorry that you have to do this for me. I can...I can do this all myself though..." Haruka made some shapes and sculptures out of the bubbles.
"Oh Haruka 😌," Kazui chuckled in an old man way, "I'm just simply pushing you back into the habit of taking care of yourself 🤗. I'll only be helping you with your hair 😎." Haruka felt Kazui patting his head. "Is there anything you want to say 🤔? If you're okay with that, of course 😀."
"Uhh...umm..." Haruka was conflicted. Maybe...Kazui will understand a bit? Haruka won't say much anyway. "Umm...actually...I do, want to say some things..."
"Close your eyes first, sorry Haruka 😅. I'm going to pour some water over your eyes to rinse your hair 🙂."
Haruka closed his eyes, and slowly, water ran down from his head. Kazui pet his head again and read the conditioner bottle's instructions before putting it in Haruka sad, floppy hair.
"Well...I...I was doing this all to help Muu-San since...sh-she's so kind to me...She...she takes care of me a-and brings me lots of things to do..! I...I thought...I thought that..." Haruka trailed off. He was doing so well too...
"It's okay, I won't judge you 😉. ...I've also got some things I'm sure people would judge me for." Kazui seemed like he regretted oversharing that last bit.
Haruka took another breath. "I...well...Es-Kun...they...they weren't going to forgive Muu-San...I think...So I...I-I tried helping convince them...into forgiving...Muu-San..."
"I see...you were doing all that, for...her sake..?" Kazui stopped rubbing the conditioner in. "Oh- I'm stopping because this bottle right here says I must wait a bit 😀."
"Y-yes...I-I see...Sorry." Haruka paused, wondering if he should go on.
A bit of silence filled the room. Nothing happened for a while, before Haruka continued where he left off with explaining.
"I...I told Es-Kun that I'd..." ... "That I'd do something a bit...strange if they don't forgive Muu-San..."
"Was that...may I ask...was your plan to...sorry, again, to...harm yourself in some way..?"
Haruka didn't answer yet. He blew some bubbles that he felt were judging him away.
"...Yes...I was...I was going to...well...I was...I was going to...sorry, please don't get upset or anything..."
Kazui nodded reassuringly.
"I was going to...to...to...ki-......I was going to kill myself if Muu-San was umforgiven..." Haruka closed his eyes.
"Haruka...I...You shouldn't do that...Obviously you shouldn't, sorry, but...Es's choice is out of your hands." Kazui gently placed his hands on Haruka's shoulders. "Whatever they choose...or already chose, is their decision alone, regardless of what you might do to stop it."
Haruka didnt think properly about those words.
"Yes, okay...sorry. I'm sorry..." Haruka shrugged. He'll need to be careful on what he does..
Kazui's hands reached up to pet Haruka's head. "Good job, kid. I'll be here whenever you need it 😉." Kazui rustled his hair. "Ooh, close your eyes again."
Water poured off Haruka's head, running into the bathtub.
"Now, I trust that you'll dry off properly 😎. I'll be outside waiting. Don't take too long 🙂." Kazui left the bathroom. "Remember to drain the bathtub 😁!!"
//
Haruka dragged himself out the bathroom. Kazui smiled and pat Haruka on his back. Kazui lead him back to his new room.
"Kazui-San...Ah...ah...you won't tell anyone...right..? Umm...what I...what I told you in there..."
"..." Kazui seemed like he was struggling to choose something to say. "...Of course, Haruka."
//
"Sorry we took so long, Shidou." Kazui smiled.
"Of course. Thank you for helping Sakurai-Kun, Mukuhara-San." Shidou was helping Mahiru take some medicine.
Haruka was urged to go back to bed. Shidou followed Kazui for something...seemed urgent.
"Haruka-Kun..!" Mahiru couldn't lay on her side, but she still turned her head left to talk to Haruka. "Shidou-San said that you're not doing so well, so I'll spend some time with you...~"
Haruka returned her smile with his own.
"Sorry, Haruka-Kun... Do you need to rest a bit? I don't know if you saw but I was definitely dreaming away when you first came in, hahah~" Mahiru laughed a bit to herself.
"Y-yes...I'd like to...Sorry, Mahiru-San..." Haruka cuddled a longer cat plushie, wrapping his whole body around it, and dried to doze off.
Haruka tried turning a bit. A few ways actually. A few times, I mean...Umm...
...
The silence was overwhelming. He felt like he knew what Shidou and Kazui were talking about. That's okay...it's fine. It's probably for the best... Kazui did admit to lie often...Haruka should've seen it coming...Yes...he should've.
"Haruka-Kun..? I can't help but notice you tossing and turning... Do you want to say- no, sorry. You've already been really brave, talking to everyone about your issues...Hmm..." Mahiru tried to face him with her whole body. "Do you want me to tell you some stories? Hmm...maybe about me?!~"
Haruka turned to face Mahiru. They stared at each other for a bit.
"Ah-ah..! Sorry...Yes...ye-yes, that'd be nice...Thank you, Mahiru-San." Haruka buried his chin into another plushie.
"Heheheh!! Well, you see...-"
Mahiru seemed to have a lot to say to Haruka. She kept going on and on, not in...a bad way or anything. Haruka enjoyed listening. He felt safe. Mahiru made sure to tell him about her boyfriend and their time together. She excitedly explained every small detail she found interesting.
Haruka was able to close his eyes and drift off.
Good night, sleep well Haruka. See you tomorrow.