Chapter Text
"I've got just what we need" Medic said cheerfully as he swung the medbay doors open again.
He strode inside only to collide with Heavy’s back, dropping several utensils as metal clattered loudly against the floor, the echo bouncing off the walls.
"Aiii…Should've watched where I was going." he muttered through gritted teeth.
He crouched to gather the fallen equipment, brushing some dust from them with a heavy huff- He should sweep the medbay again. He glanced up at the giant's back, only now noticing the lack of response from him.
He straightened himself and frowned a bit, stepping to the left to try and face him but stopping in his tracks at the sight of.. two Heavies.
"Is this new experiment, Doktor?" the Russian lifted a brow, eyes fixed on the other Heavy, ready to strike at any moment in case it did anything funny; for now, it was content with just standing there, staring back at the duo. Medic didn't answer right away, his mouth hanging open in shock as he stared up at the Heavy he had just bumped into:
He was pale, slightly taller… and his stubble was definitely darker than the one of the Heavy he knew– the hairs were likely beginning to grow back. It didn't move a muscle, and a strange sound emerged from its chest.
The shock on Medic's features quickly shifted into pure joy and ecstasy, something Heavy picked up on almost immediately. “He’s.. He’s vonderful! What is this, a respawn error?” Medic practically ran to the other side of the medbay, already grabbing leather straps and preparing them for the medical bed.
"Nyet, I do not think so. It appeared ten minutes ago. Is very quiet," Heavy said softly, searching through his memories.
“Heavy!” Medic turned around, staring at his co-worker with newfound determination. “We’ve got plenty of work to do! Let’s get it on the bed.”
Medic’s impatience and eagerness didn’t surprise him; Heavy had long since grown used to it. Still, he was quick to voice his concerns. “What if it attacks?” He analyzed the bed, then took note of the creature’s form, looking it up and down, wondering if he’d be able to counter its attacks–Of course he could! He’s the Heavy Weapons Guy, goddamn it.
"At least try!" the German groaned, exasperated, as if Heavy had asked him a dozen questions already. His completely reasonable doubts were getting in the way of his fun.
Heavy sighed before extending his right arm and placing his hand on the creature’s shoulder. Receiving no response or resistance, he did the same with the other one and began guiding it toward the operating bed, where Medic was waiting, already preparing the Quick-Fix above it.
"Oh, Finally! Something new to play with. You have blessed me, Heavy!" Medic cheesed as he tightened the leather straps around the creature’s limbs, which didn’t move a single digit.
Heavy kept his eyes on the clone, wondering why the hell Medic was thanking him for something he didn’t even do. He hadn’t brought whatever that was here, it just appeared! Well…Even so, having Medic praise him for good work he didn’t do felt amazing, so he didn’t protest. He leaned back to give Medic space as the latter reached forward, lowering the Quick-Fix just a little before activating it, watching as the healing beam struck the creature’s chest. The creature slightly lifted its head, curious, watching the red beam do its job as Medic began running his hands along its body.
"Vell here, let's see...Ooh, fascinating." One hand ran along the creature’s sides, admiring its larger size compared to the actual Heavy, which earned a jealous stare from the real heavy weapons expert every time Medic’s touch struck as a bit too passionate for his tastes, while the other hand held a scalpel close to the giant’s forearm. Medic put slight pressure on the hand holding the scalpel, finally slicing the pale skin, but he didn’t manage to go very deep before feeling something slow him down. The Quick-fix was set relatively low, so it couldn’t be the wound healing itself, could it?
He passed the scalpel to Heavy, who placed it on the rusty equipment table, before Medic switched to using his own hands, carefully wedging his index finger into the cut and pushing inside. "Ooh?" Stuck. His fingertip was stuck, and something was nudging against it, almost pulling it inward. Medic shifted his stance, pulling his finger back out with a bit of effort, and examined it.
"Teeth!" Medic tilted his head, grinning at the other man as he excitedly showed him his finger. The teeth had torn part of the glove covering it and sunk into the skin, leaving tiny marks around the tip, blood seeping out.
"Teeth? Inside?" Heavy leaned in, head closer, inspecting the finger like a curious dog. “How is that possible?”
"I have no idea, but we will find out soon. By experimenting!" Medic replied excitedly, smiling at the creature that had just ‘bitten’ him. Then, something caught his attention.
The medbay fell into focused silence: Medic’s hand hovered for a moment before slowly reaching toward the creature’s face, resting lightly on its cheek. The creature leaned into the touch, soft skin pressing against his bloodied gloves. Carefully, Medic slid his thumb along the lip, testing its reaction, before gently prying the corner of its mouth open just enough to examine the teeth inside.
"Look, Heavy! Such wonderful teeth." He admired them for a few seconds, not pushing his luck for too long and retreating his hand.
"Like piano tiles. Just all white" Heavy pointed out the similarity, leaning back again and crossing his arms. "Think there is more teeth underneath, could get second check…could also lose entire hand."
"Oh, don't be ridiculous." Medic rolled his eyes, reaching for the lamp and adjusting it so the light fell directly on the creature’s face, making it wince and tilt its head away. Medic's hand crept toward its mouth again, ready to inspect it before being abruptly stopped. The creature’s left arm snapped free, seizing Medic’s and pulling hard, as if it ended to bite it off clean.
"Doktor!" Heavy reacted instantly, wrapping his arms around the German and yanking him back with effort, thankfully managing to pull him free.
Medic, now stretching his freed (and probably fractured) arm, scoffed and slowly began twisting it to examine the damage. "You should've let it bite me! The Quick-fix was right there!" He jabbed at the healing device with his injured forearm, looking almost like a broken doll. He then slid it beneath the red beam, watching it heal under the glow.
Heavy stood there dumbfounded.
"How strong is it?"
"Very," Heavy mumbled some words in his broken english, stealing a smile out of the previously pissed German.
"Very strong, hm? How would you rate it on a scale of one to ten?” Heavy paused, thinking carefully, eyes fixed on the pavement.
“Can’t rate… but very strong. With just one arm.” "Hm..." Medic looked even more intrigued, now eyeing the broken leather straps. "Or maybe, you're just getting weak." he teased, stirring a glare from Heavy. The man couldn’t comprehend sarcasm, could he?
The German opened his mouth to apologize, but a sudden, large hand landed right on his head, ruffling his hair and stopping him.
"If Heavy is weak, then Doktor is little baby." Then, a small chuckle, just enough to loosen the knot in Medic’s chest and make his shoulders relax.
"You silly man." Medic ‘tsk'ed, then began peeling off his red gloves.
"We must contain him, carefully. Make sure he doesn't escape." he explained; though the creature hadn't really attacked yet, not until Medic seriously provoked it. "Someone must patrol the area while we're gone." he added, pacing around and setting equipment back in place, both Heavies following his movements with their eyes. Finally, he shut off the Quick-Fix, got his doves under control, and approached the creature one last time, re-doing the broken leather strap and tightening each one. He booped the creature on the nose, its upper lip twitching in response.
"Don't move." Medic said firmly, a serious note of authority in his voice, before slipping off his coat and walking towards the doors.
"Doktor lets creature free?" the Russian quickly got right behind him, surprised by the sudden change: Weren't they supposed to contain it? What happened to that?
"Well, Herr Heavy, I have a feeling it won't move, and I'd like to test it out." Medic replied non-chalantly, as if he weren’t practically risking his and his co-workers’ lives. "It seems rather obedient. You could learn a thing or two." he teased again, letting out a yawn as they headed toward the main area with the other mercenaries.
Soldier and Scout were holding Demoman up; one by the wrists, the other by the ankles, swinging the drunkard left and right again and again and again as the cyclops sang some crappy, old love song. Before long, they tossed him into the air, and he landed squarely on Sniper’s van. Sniper immediately got out, yelling at them and the idiot rolling around in pain on his roof.
“Are you all out of your bloody minds?! Piss off, you mongrels!!!”
Before Medic could step in to say or do anything, a sudden, high-pitched noise blared from the speakers above, making everyone cover their ears and wince. Then, silence, broken only by faint footsteps growing steadily louder.
"You… gotta… stop… doing that!" Scout whined, rubbing his ear as Spy arrived, circled the main table, and carefully placed a piece of tape on it.
The mercenaries gathered around; Demo reluctantly jumping off the van. It hadn't been that long since they started working together, but they’d already learnt one thing: when Spy messed with the speakers, it meant a team meeting was happening, and you had to be there. Skipping it could result in a butterfly knife lodged in your spine while you slept, and nobody wanted that, or to challenge him, or to make enemies with a coworker this early.
"Tape? Is that it?" Scout snapped first, clearly impatient and annoyed at the Frenchman– well, he honestly never liked him, everybody knew that, so this was natural. "You mess with our eardrums and call us over for some tape? Spy, You know you're the worst, right?"
Spy ignored the boy, took a drag out of his cigarette and began explaining. "This piece of clear tape was stuck to the top of the door frame to my smoking room. I make sure to replace it every time. It has come loose while I was off duty, which means someone has entered without my consent. I will assume you are all mature–” “Squeak!”
Each mercenary immediately turned to face Pyro as Spy was interrupted, eyes narrowing at the source of the noise. The critter was absorbed in their Balloonicorn plushie and, once they realized everyone was staring, they tilted their head down, seemingly blushing under the dark gas mask. Spy took another drag and continued, though his tone now carried a hint of exasperation.
“...mature enough to confess.”
Some mercenaries looked around for the culprit (or to point fingers), while others coughed awkwardly to fill the silence, however, Scout and Soldier immediately began arguing.
"Scout did it!" Soldier blurted out, fist slamming on the table, making the remaining poker chips from last night’s poker game rattle.
"What?! What the hell?! No I didn't! Soldier did it! He's insane, I’m telling you right now!" Scout shouted in defense, emphasizing the last words by jabbing a finger against his headset.
Soldier’s jaw dropped in shock, his head whipping around to face the younger man. "I did not! Real Americans never lie!" Soon enough, his firm hands clamped around the Bostonian’s throat, Scout trashing and gasping for air.
“SAY IT! SAY YOU GOT IN SPY’S SECRET ROOM!!!”
While the chaos erupted around them, Medic pulled Heavy by the sleeve, making him lean down as he whispered in his ear. “Do you think…” he began, slowing, as if waiting for the other man to finish the sentence for him.
“Impossible. He is big, hard not to see.” Heavy replied as quietly as he could, his face growing slightly flushed with Medic so close.
“Vell…he is you,” Medic shrugged before turning back toward the group.
“I apologize, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Medic giggled, partially covering his mouth with his hand. “I was in a rush and walked into the wrong room. I really am sorry, Herr Spy.”
Heavy blinked, a little surprised: they’d been together the whole time…was he– was he really just going to take the blame?
Spy didn't buy it. He didn’t believe him, not one bit, no; Medic’s quick demeanor clearly gave away that he just wanted the situation to be over with. Spy appreciated that, at least, instead of the other idiots fighting with each other.
Guess he’d have to figure out who did it himself.
"I appreciate it, Docteur. I advise you to be more careful." he sighed before walking away.
Medic let out a sigh of relief as well, shooting Heavy a “Can you believe this guy?” kind of look before heading out.