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Dating the devil is an achievement most could not say they've gotten, nor say they wanted. Yet, you got the achievement nonetheless. It was an accident, really. You just wanted writing inspiration for your book, and what better place than the dark web? Well, you figured getting inspo would be all you’d get. You never expected to find yourself in a server of actual murderers, much less befriend them and date one.
Whoops.
So here you were, sitting at your desk, staring at the screen of your computer. Valentines day was soon, and you had no idea what to give to your boyfriend. I mean, what do you give a man who kills for fun? What do you give the devil himself? You had asked him, but he just laughed and said he wanted your heart and aorta all pretty for him. And well, You weren't in the mood to do that yet. And you definitely weren't going to give him them yourself.
You groaned loudly and hit your head against your desk. All your past partners were clear and simple to get gifts for. How did you even end up with Ronin anyways? You could’ve ridden the world of the Butcher the first time you met in Purgatory. But nooo, you just had to kiss him. How stupid are you? If you ever broke up or got into a fight, you’d be the rats’ next meal.
Then again, you could’ve should’vecalled the cops on all of them when you first realized they were murderers. But nope. You stayed with them and even found a family in them. Maybe hitting your head back when you were a kid did fuck you up. You shook your head and went back to searching on the internet. There had to be something that Ronin would like, right?
Well. You’ve been searching for hours without a break. You didn’t even notice the sun was well past the horizon and stars hung in its place. Despite the countless hours, you found little that you believed Ronin liked. Deciding to take a quick break, you checked the server, seeing that some were on a call. You didn’t feel like joining, too frustrated by the fact you couldn’t find much. Instead, you searched through your private chat with Angel. Maybe you could find something useful.
After a few minutes, you did find something useful. Back when you were pestering Angel about information on Ronin, Angel told you a few things. One being that he enjoyed Devil’s Food Cake. You had a slight suspicion that Ronin just enjoyed it because of the name, but it was something.
You searched the group chat a bit more before giving up. You decided you would attempt to bake the cake tomorrow, and would find lilies to give to him. You smiled to yourself. Yeah, this was a great plan. You never tried baking a cake from scratch, but it couldn’t be too difficult. Just follow the recipe and don’t fuck it up. Simple, yeah?
Fuck no.
You left early in the morning, heading to your local grocery store. First problem, they didn’t have dutch chocolate powder or sour cream. The floral shop wasn’t open either. So, you left the town and headed into the city to search for your ingredients.
You didn’t return to your house until past noon. By then, you were swamped from searching multiple stores. But, you found what you needed. You had stopped by the floral shop and bought a bouquet of lilies for Ronin. You weren't sure which color, so you went with the classic and got white.
You took an hour to recover before starting to bake the cake. And well, unsurprisingly, it didn’t go very well. First try, you spilled the entire mixture. On the second try, you added too much baking soda, and the cake exploded in the oven. On the third try, you forgot the sour cream and coffee. How? You didn’t know.
And now you just messed up your fourth try. You accidentally spilled the flour, causing it to dust your kitchen white, along with yourself. You stared at the bowl, before you just threw it into the sink, ignoring the water that splashed from it, causing a mess. You were glad you had ordered more ingredients earlier and bought more chocolate than needed.
In the midst of all the baking chaos, you lost track of time. It was past midnight by now. You hadn’t been on your phone or computer since you printed the recipe out, and hadn’t noticed the amount of notifications from a certain Goreboy. If you had, you would have seen the messages of him saying he was heading to your house and breaking in. If you had, you would have advised him not to and that you didn’t need that.
And so, when laughter filled the air, you jumped and almost spilled the flour again. You turned quickly, reaching for a fork when you saw it was Ronin, holding his crowbar. And much to your dismay, he was covered in blood. Probably came to your house right after a kill. Glancing past Ronin, you saw that your front door was open and the lock was damaged.
“Ronin? Why are you at my house?” You asked, surprise and annoyance threaded into the question. You glared at the blood on his crowbar and hair. “And I thought I was clear when I said no blood in my house.”
The man just chuckled and walked over to you. He grabbed your chin and stole a kiss, pulling away only when you bit his lip. “Sorry, darlin’. The devil’s follower wasn’t fucking replying to the devil’s messages.” Ronin hummed, glancing around the house. “What’s with flour and water everywhere, writer darlin’? Tryin’ baptize yourself? Wash away your pretty fucking sins?”
“No Ro. I can’t bake a cake, even Blackjack wouldn’t eat this shit.” You grumbled, reorganizing the ingredients. You rinsed your measuring utensils, drying and placing them back on the table. “Go shower. Before you get blood and guts on my floor.”
Ronin re-entered the kitchen holding an unfinished card and a smirk plaster on his face. He headed behind you and hit the back of your head. Enough to hurt. You turned around with a grumble, which fell short when you saw what he was holding.
“What’s with this card and those lilies, darlin? Tryin’ win the devil over?” He asked playfully, dangling the card in front of your eyes. He already knew why. He just wanted to get a rise from his lovely partner.
You ripped the card out of his hand, crumbling it in the process. You punched Ronin hard when he cackled, scowling at him. “Why the hell did you enter my room?” You demanded, jabbing a finger at his chest.
“Needed some fucking clothes, darlin’. Unless you wanted me naked?” His reply was snarky, which caused you to huff. Ronin laughed and leaned down, pressing a kiss to your neck. He glanced at the recipe and smirked, dragging you into his arms. “Devil’s Food Cake? Oh darlin’, have you been studying?” He pressed a kiss to your nape this time before picking you up.
You huffed again, smacking Ronin’s shoulder. You were going to argue until he kissed your lips, cutting off anything you wanted to say. He pulled back when you were in your bedroom, where he set you on the bed. “The fuck, Ro?”
“Relax. It’s fucking late. You can make that fucking cake after you sleep.” His argument was simple enough. It was late, and you didn’t have plans. “And we can worry about your fucking mess then too.”
You sighed, but nodded in agreement. When Ronin laid down, you shifted to lay next to him, resting your head on his chest. You listened to the sound of his heartbeat, letting it clear your brain. You were still a bit upset that Ronin figured out your plan. But, it was Ronin. Keeping secrets from him was challenging.
“Happy fucking Valentines day, writer darling.”
“Fuck off, you ruined the surprise.”
. . .
“You need better locks, darlin’. Any fucker can get in if they wanted.”
“Yeah, if they knew how to pick a lock. You broke my lock though!”
. . .
“Wait. Ro, did you close my door?”
. . .
“Ronin!”