Work Text:
The words slipped out of Uryuu before he could think them through, which was extremely rare, and apparently horribly timed because Renji raised an eyebrow in challenge.
“You think I do?” he asked confidently, grinning.
“I think you’re stupid.” Uryuu said, trying to deflect, but apparently today Renji was smarter than usual.
“This is why we should have just eaten in my dorm.” Ichigo says, glaring at Uryuu. “You give him too much power.”
“No, No,” Renji says, his voice getting louder. “You think I get embarrassed easily?”
Oirhime looked around the dining hall anxious before she shook Renji. “No one thinks that! Uryuu was just joking!”
“She’s right.” Chad quickly backs up Orihime. “You don’t have to prove anything.”
Rukia closed her eyes. “We don’t need any incidents today. I already think you and Ichigo are horribly embarrassing.”
Ichigo gave her a look. “Me too?”
Uryuu snorted. “You’re just like him.”
Chad opened his mouth but Renji spoke first, adamant. “That is not true, I have way more confidence than Ichigo.”
Ichigo sputtered. “That’s- that’s not even true!”
Renji placed a hand on Ichigo’s shoulder and shook his head in mock sadness. “Dude, you’re just not as cool as me, and that’s okay.”
“Who cares! Just don’t embarrass us!” ichigo said, shoving Renji’s arm off.
“Embarrass you?” Renji questioned as his voice got noticeably louder. “Am I embarrassing you?”
People were starting to turn their heads.
Orihime’s face went red. She tried to pull Renji down by his shirt but he didn’t even look down.
Uryuu closed his eyes, there was no escaping this situation, even if he tried to leave everyone see him walking away from the table with the most noise.
“Shut up!” Ichigo and Rukia hissed at the same time, both clearly horrified.
Renji stood up entirely, smiling as he raised his voice even more. “Are you telling me to shut up because I am embarrassing you?!”
Everyone turned to their table, clearly disturbed by the noise and Uryuu felt his face go red.
“Uryuu!” Chad and Orihime whispered, both watching in horror as Renji stepped onto the table, completely grabbing everyone in the dining hall's attention.
Uryuu closed his eyes.
“DO YOU THINK I GET EMBARRASED EASILY?” he shouted, standing on top of the table.
Uryuu knew the split second that Renji stood up, it was over for his reputation, but when Ichigo climbed on top of the table, Uryuu searched his mind for ways to transfer schools.
“SHUT UP YOU IDIOT!” he said, yelling as loud as Renji was, also standing on the table.
Rukia, still scrambling for a bit of dignity, tried tugging them both down, but Renji didn't budge.
“WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN IDIOT?!” he screamed at Ichigo.
“I’M CALLING YOU AN IDIOT, YOU DUMBASS!”
“THAT’S TWO DIFFERENT THINGS-”
..
After being escorted out of the dining hall, all six of them sat in Ichigo's dorm, eating in complete silence.