Chapter Text
“You think this is what Anna wanted?! Just to run away from your problems??”
“You have no idea what my mother wanted. Hell, I didn't. It sure as hell wasn't to stay in this god forsaken town.”
“So, that's it? You're just gonna leave?” Dean’s voice went an octave higher. “You're really gonna leave me here?”
“Dean, I don't love you anymore and you need to realize that.”
“You can go. Just know...I’ll wait.”
The look on Dean’s face as he walked out the door is one Castiel will never forget.
Castiel woke with a shout and as usual drenched in sweat. The same dream, the same feeling, the same lie being said. He got up off the couch to get a glass of water and stood at the counter looking around his tiny apartment. He hated it here, he hated the people, and he hated the weather. It was too damn cold and too windy. Why he had decided New York was the place to settle he'll never really know.
He looked at the clock and saw he’d thankfully woken up right in time to get ready for his shift at the diner. Gently scooping his cat off the counter and onto the floor he started his morning.
As he walked into his bedroom and walked to his closet to get his work shirt he ran his hand over the last thing that he had of Dean's, Dean's favorite Led Zeppelin shirt. It was worn from the years and thinner than it been eight years earlier due to Castiel’s extensive wear of the shirt. It didn't smell like Dean anymore, but it still felt like Dean, that was why he still had it.
He shook his head and pulled the black button up off the hanger. Looking at his shirt he may as well get the iron out to smooth out the wrinkles, even though he knew no one at the diner would notice nor care, once the lines are gone.
Cas stood against the door of his car waiting for Gabriel to show up. Since agreeing to work for his cousin he has almost always shown up before Gabriel. He keeps telling Gabriel to give him a key but Cas thinks if he were to have more than one key he'd end up not coming to his own diner at all.
Gabriel walked up whistling like he always did, “Gooooooood morning to you! Oh good morning toooooo you!” Gabriel stopped and did a theatrical pose.
“Good morning, Gabriel.”
“Oh, come on, Cassie it's a kinda nice day. Let your hair down, talk to a bird, and for the love of god smile."
Gabriel went up to the diner door and unlocked it.
It was almost five and their regulars would be arriving soon. Adam was on vacation and Michael, well he was on vacation with Adam, so for another week it was just going to be the two of them.
They started their usual morning routine, Gabriel started the coffee up, and Cas went into the back and immediately started pulling out ingredients to start cooking up some things.
In a way it was always peaceful even with Gabriel. They had a system and they never changed it and Cas was thankful for that.
“Cassie do me a favor and flip on the sign.”
Cas walked over to the neon sign and pulled the chain to open looking up at the grey skies he couldn't help but sense something in the world wasn't right.
“Male. Late 20’s. Found collapsed in home.”
A pretty blonde woman ran in flushed and crying; she had a boy following behind with long hair.
“Please they brought my son in you have to tell me, where is he?!”
The young boy she was with just looked as if he were ready to take charge if he needed. They had the same worried face and eyes.
“He's been taken into ICU, you'll be able to see him once he's stable and we've made sure what the cause was.”
”Seriously guess, how many can I stick in my mouth?”
“Gabriel please stop putting the donuts in your mouth.” Cas gave his cousin a pained look because, how were they related?
“Damn no fun Nancy.” Gabriel sat down the donuts and considered saying something for a minute. “Y’know, Sam asked how you were.”
Cas smiled. He always liked Sam. Always felt Sam was like a little brother or a best friend to him. “Did you tell him I was well?”
“I told him you're still boring as hell and belong in a dungeon of books.”
“Always the charmer, Gabriel.”
Gabriel fiddled with the corner of the counter. “Have you thought about what I said to you?”
“I can't go back.”
“Why the hell not? What have you got to lose? Seriously, Cassie, what?”
Cas sighed, “Gabriel I left, no wait, I shattered things when I left. I can never go back home even if I want to so no I'm not going back.”
“What if you had a reason to? What if you miss a chance to go back? To the one person who, yes, is your soul mate, and yes, you fucked up. Damn it, Cassie for Dean's sake it's been eight years go back and fix it!”
Before Cas could respond the bell jingled signaling a customer out front and Gabriel hopped off his stool to attend to them. What did he mean for Dean's sake?
He'd been thinking about Dean, more than usual, his mother always said he and Dean had a weird bond since they were little. They'd always know when something was wrong with the other Dean would either come over to Cas’ or vice versa.
Lately the feeling started to almost hurt and he really had thought about contacting at least Mary. He didn't want to bother Dean because after all he did to him he doesn't expect Dean to ever speak to him.
He'd looked up Dean actually about three years ago. He found him on Facebook and saw a picture of Dean with Meg. Cas remembered smiling at the picture because in the picture Dean had her in tight embrace.
He felt an ache in his chest just like he did when he saw the picture. He ached because he missed Meg but he missed Dean. Dean looked happy but not the happy Cas always knew of course he still looked beautiful but he wasn't Dean.
Shaking off whatever Gabriel was going to say Cas watched him from the back and he always had to admit, although Gabe was a complete goof, he was an extraordinary salesman. Gabriel had run “Roadhouse” for about ten years, since the previous owner Ellen married her longtime partner - a man named Bobby Singer.
Gabriel had come to the Roadhouse ever since his mother had began working there. Gabriel and his mother had moved to New York because Naomi wanted a better life for her son. Up until Cas was 20, even though Gabriel teased him mercilessly, Cas and Gabriel had always been inseparable. Although aunt Naomi was no longer with them, Gabriel felt as if it were his duty to keep up the old diner in her memory that, and Ellen would kick his ass if he let her diner go down. He also felt it were his responsibility to look after Castiel.
Cas liked the diner it was one of the few places that felt sort of homelike to him since he left...home.
He scrubbed down the counter in the back when he suddenly felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, he head started to hurt, and he felt tense. He'd felt this a few months ago the same feeling. He walked towards the back of the room he and Gabriel would hang out in when no one was in the diner. Walking up to the door with the big glass window he looked up toward the sky waiting for whatever news was about to come.