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Positive.
Two distinct red lines fill the pregnancy test panel that Shane holds in his slightly trembling hands, as he exhales the air he seems to have been holding during the minutes of waiting. He nods slowly to himself and proceeds to take another test, this time one of the modern ones. He doesn't want to risk a false positive, and anyway, it's not as if he hasn't bought more than five different ones.
Shane had taken advantage of the fact that Ilya had a therapy session that afternoon, so that he could take the tests at home without him being interrupted by surprise. He had spent the night wondering whether to wait for Ilya to do them, and he had almost let it slip when they were cuddling in bed, but he managed to bite his tongue and make sure first. Shane thought it was an important moment that he would have loved to share with him, but he had no clear evidence to be sure he was pregnant, there was no nausea or physical symptoms, just a new feeling inside him that his heart made him suspect.
He didn't want to risk being wrong and disappointing his husband. Last year, after both had significantly expanded their trophy room with their team, they had talked about the subject. Shane knew how excited Ilya was to have his first son or daughter; he saw him smiling foolishly at the little ones at the hockey camp, wishing for the day when he could teach his own baby to skate, he saw Ilya pausing at some silly Instagram video of parents playing with their chaotic baby and saying to Shane, "This will be us"; and above all, he heard him asking for it when they were tangled and sweaty under the sheets. It wasn't that they were actively seeking it, but they had simply stopped preventing it from happening.
Positive / 2–3 weeks.
And there's the second confirmation Shane needed, he's pregnant. Notice how the edges of his vision start to blur as he stares at the test, physically crushed by the realization that this is really happening. He takes a couple of deep breaths to try to recover as he leaves the test on the sink next to the other one. Shane looks up at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, humming happily as he lifts his sweatshirt with one hand, running his other hand over his stomach, which is obviously still as muscular as ever, although that won't last long. He smiles at the thought that the timing coincides with the last week of the season's playoffs, a week in which they opted for a lot of sex to relax their nerves, and now Shane has to tell Ilya that he had scored one more goal than he thought.
His shoulders tense at the thought of telling his husband. Shane would yell it at him as soon as he walked through the door, but this is a unique opportunity to surprise him in a nice way, so he puts his brain to work to figure out how to do it while he puts the tests in a plastic bag and hides them in one of his cream boxes, knowing that Ilya wouldn't look there for another 14 years. By the time Ilya comes home, Shane has the perfect idea. This weekend they're going to the cottage to start their summer vacation, so he can take advantage of having to go downtown for some last-minute shopping to carry out his plan.
By sunset the next day, he has everything ready. It has taken all of Shane's willpower to hold back from telling Ilya over the last 24 hours. He has had to pinch himself several times to focus his brain when the words threatened to come out of his mouth, but he is finally ready. It's a silly detail that occurred to him when he remembered how a few months ago Ilya had stopped to look at some mini shoes in a store, joking that Shane would also force them to stay in the hall cabinet, which had ended with both of them laughing out loud. So he ran out to buy a very small pair of red sneakers, and took advantage of Ilya going out to walk Anya in the afternoon to put them in a pretty box, that was now waiting in the bedroom.
They are lying on the couch after dinner, snuggled up together under the blanket. Shane has his head resting on Ilya's chest and one leg draped over his. They are watching a new comedy movie that Rose had recommended to them, or at least one of them is, because Shane is trying to relax with his husband's breath on his ear, but there comes a point where he can't wait any longer. He moves a little to sit up and leave a soft kiss on his jaw.
-Hmm -He hums against his skin, trying to sound casual, as if he doesn't feel his heart threatening to escape between his ribs.- I have a surprise for you.
- What? A surprise? -Ilya repeats, drawing out the words with an amused smile.
Shane nodded, trying to keep his voice sounding normal.- It's in the bedroom, but I want to give it to you now.
- Oh -Ilya raises an eyebrow with that mischievous expression Shane knows all too well.- Let me guess... are you wearing a tie under your clothes?
Shane groans exaggeratedly and rolls his eyes before giving him a gentle slap on the chest. At least the perversity of the conversation relaxes him a little before he can continue.
- You're a pervert -He laughs and leans in to kiss him quickly on the lips.- it's a real gift.
- Huh, I'll pretend to believe you, moya lyubov -Ilya replies, clearly pleased with himself as he seeks his lips again.
- I'm serious! Come on.
Shane sits up suddenly so that he can't continue to fuss over him, turning off the television and offering him his hand to help him up from the couch. His husband lets himself be led along, amused by the situation, and they both smile like idiots as they walk hand in hand to the bedroom. Upon entering, Shane nods for him to sit on the mattress while he stretches out on it to open the bottom center drawer on his side of the bed, taking out the box inside.
Ilya's eyes open as soon as he sees it, and he can see the excitement settle on his face in such a genuine way that Shane's chest tightens a little. He tries not to think about it too much as he sits down next to him and hands him the box, glad that the tremor in his hand isn't too noticeable at the moment. Shane is aware that he has to force himself to breathe when Ilya begins to untie the bow that closes it without much care, as if he were a child on Christmas morning; but he smiles from ear to ear as he does so, completely oblivious to the nervousness of the person next to him. When he finally removes the ribbon and lifts the lid, Shane flashes a huge smile and looks at Ilya's face, wanting to etch every gesture of the moment into his memory.
Ilya's expression changes almost immediately. He goes from excitement to surprise when he sees what's inside the box, and without a second's delay, he lets out a loud amused laugh that echoes throughout the room as he dances around with his shoulders. Shane's smile falters for a moment at the gesture, and he frowns involuntarily because the last thing he expected was laughter.
- What... -Shane doesn't finish his sentence because Ilya shakes his head, still laughing, and leans toward him, grabbing him by the neck of his sweatshirt to pull him closer and plant a couple of clumsy and affectionate kisses on him, still showing his teeth.
- Oh sweetheart, I love them! -Ilya's voice exudes amusement against him.
Shane is completely paralyzed by how everything is unfolding. In none of the 50 visualizations he made of this moment did anything like this happen. With his mouth open like a fish out of water for too long, he stares as Ilya leans back again to take the little red sneakers out of the box, trying to get his brain to make the right calculations about what the hell is going on.
- They're adorable, really -Ilya adds, turning them between his fingers with admiration.
-Ilya... -Shane tries to find his voice to intervene, still not understanding why this is his reaction, as if this weren't his attempt to tell him that their lives are about to change forever.
But then Ilya jumps up from the bed, the sparkle of amusement still in his eyes.
- Wait here a moment!
Without giving him time to say anything else, he walks out the door, leaving Shane still sitting with his hands clutching the sheets as if trying to make sure he isn't having some strange dream caused by nerves. He turns his head to look at the now empty box on the bed and can't help but let out a murmur resembling a laugh, incredulous at the situation. Luckily, it doesn't take long before he hears Ilya calling him, and he decides to simply let his body react automatically to his request, getting up to follow him. As he turns the corner of the living room, the first thing he sees is Ilya crouched next to the sofa, leaning over one of Anya's many beds, which makes Shane tilt his head in confusion and approach until he is right behind him, resting a hand on his back to peek over his shoulder.
And then he sees it. The little red sneakers are now occupying Anya's front paws. They are slightly crooked but surprisingly seem to fit her size, and the dog nibbles on one of the laces with a couple of enthusiastic snorts, looking up at her owners as if she doesn't quite understand what is going on in this family either. Shane falls silent, processing the situation.
- When I told you I was worried she'd burn her paws this summer -Ilya interrupts, smiling tenderly at Anya.- I wasn't thinking about this exactly, but look how funny she is with them! She's a precious little thing.
Oh my God.
The realization hits Shane harder than any defense in his entire hockey career, and he can only burst out laughing. He starts laughing suddenly, a laugh that comes from his chest and catches in his throat. He laughs as if he's had an attack or as if his body needs to release all the tension accumulated over the last few hours at once, and a few tears even roll down his cheeks. He leans over until he can sit on the arm of the couch blindly, instinctively resting a hand on his stomach as he tries to catch his breath. Luckily, Ilya doesn't find it strange as he turns to look at him, as it simply seems like Shane is trying to stop choking.
- You're finding it even funnier -Murmurs Ilya, standing up straight in front of him so he can reach out and gently wipe one of the tears from his freckled cheeks, now slightly reddened.
Shane tries to respond but can only shake his head as a couple of stifled laughs slowly fade from his lips. When he finally manages to stop and looks up, he finds Ilya alternating between looking tenderly at Anya, who is trying to take off one of her sneakers, and looking at him with pride. With this whole scene, Shane thinks that maybe he is a little more in love with his husband than he was fifteen minutes ago, if that is physically possible.
He hesitates for a second about telling him the truth right then and there. There in the living room, with Anya using the most important announcement of their lives as an improvised accessory; but the fact that Ilya hasn't even considered why there are two sneakers and not four makes him laugh again, a little more softly this time. He ends up hiding his face in his hands and shaking his head again.
- I love you so much -Shane finally murmurs.- Did you know that?
- Of course I know -Ilya replies, caressing his neck affectionately and raising an eyebrow at the sudden declaration.- I love you more.
Ilya moves his hand and lifts his chin with two fingers, to lean in and press their lips together in a slow affectionate kiss, before flashing that characteristic mischievous smile of his.
- Now let me thank you for the gift, I'm going to use that tie we left in the room.
And the truth is that Shane can't say no even if he wanted to, but he does want to. He considers that he has earned it after all this spectacle, and besides, his planner brain has already devised another idea to try to break the news to him again. He just has to keep his mouth busy until then.
Three days later.
Surprisingly, Shane is able to keep the secret much better than he did during the first 24 hours. This is probably because he has already made up his mind, or because every time he thinks about telling Ilya, he remembers the shoes on Anya and his brain shuts down. However, another factor is that his new idea is taking a little longer to arrive, as he has had to order it online from a private account so that neither Ilya nor his mother could see it in any way. Luckily, the days have passed quickly as they packed their bags to go and relax for a few weeks at the cottage, and as they checked that the initial paperwork for this year's hockey camps was correct. Now, three days later, they are in their favorite place in the world, looking out at the lake through the cottage windows, which greet them as beautifully and brightly as in previous years.
Shane had picked up the package shortly after arriving, he had it delivered to this address thanks to his precise calculation of their arrival time. Although at first he thought it would be better to tell Ilya before their vacation, something inside him felt comforted by sharing this great news in the place where the most beautiful part of their relationship had begun. First, they had put away all the groceries they had ordered so they wouldn't have to go out for a couple of days, and they had organized Anya's things in her usual place, she was already happily running around the backyard. After that Ilya effortlessly picked him up by his thighs and dragged him to the bedroom to fulfill one of his favorite traditions at the cottage, having the bellboy show him his bed.
A long time later, and after a shower, when they are simply letting the afternoon sun warm their skin on the sheets, relaxed as they caress each other tenderly, Shane knows it's time.
- Close your eyes -He murmurs, breaking the silence and sitting down on the bed.
- Again? -Ilya asks surprised, but obeying instantly.- Another gift? I'm starting to worry that you're trying to make up for something bad.
- Don't be an asshole -Shane replies, rolling his eyes.
He stretches to reach his backpack and pulls out the same box he had used on his first attempt. When he sits back down and Shane taps his bare chest with the box, Ilya opens his eyes and makes an amused face as he recognizes it.
- Are these the two pairs that were missing? -Wow, looks like he did some math after all.
Shane bites his lip and lets out a happy sigh before tapping the lid of the box with his finger.- Open it.
Ilya sits up against the headboard and begins to untie her with the same excitement as the first time. Shane settles down beside him, mimicking his position, turning slightly so he can watch every move, with the same expectations as three days ago. Ilya's face continues to be filled with excitement until he lifts the lid. Surprise hits him again, but this time it transforms into something completely different when he realizes what's inside, and Shane can see up close as his husband's eyes fill with tears almost instantly.
- Mo... moya lyubov -Ilya's voice breaks completely, which ironically makes Shane's smile widen even more victoriously.
- Yes -Shane replies understandingly, now raising his hand to wipe a tear from Ilya's cheek, because his hands are too busy shaking as he holds the box.
- Is it real? Are you serious? -He asks, completely thrilled, turning to look at him with his mouth open and his eyes blurry.- Does it mean what I think it means?
Shane nods several times, unable to stop smiling.- I'm pregnant.
Ilya lets out a muffled cry of happiness and throws himself on top of Shane, hugging him tightly, letting the box fall onto the sheets between them and murmuring a mixture of Russian words against his skin, among which Shane repeatedly understands “we're going to be parents” and “I love you.” He takes the opportunity to run his fingers through his curls, pulling him close to his neck as he too begins to cry with happiness.
- Ya tebya lyublyu -Shane whispers between sobs, feeling how he tremble in his arms.
A moment later, they pull apart just enough to look at each other, both with red eyes and wet cheeks, but with two identical smiles of absolute happiness.
- We're going to have a baby -Ilya repeats in English this time, as if he needs to keep repeating it to convince himself.
Shane smiles even more and clumsily presses his lips against Ilya's, carried away by the emotion of the moment in a kiss that tastes salty and sweet at the same time. When they pull apart, they remain forehead to forehead, and Ilya slowly lowers his hand until he can rest his palm on Shane's bare stomach, with such careful tenderness that it makes Shane's vision blur again.
- How long have you known? -Ilya asks without removing his hand.- Do you know if it's only one? A girl? Do Yuna and David know? Or...
The questions tumble out one after another, and Shane laughs against his mouth, shaking his head and giving him a quick kiss to interrupt him.
- Shh -He replies with a happy sigh.- No one knows. You had to be the first to know, and telling my parents had to be something we did together. And I only found out this week, so until we go to the first checkup together, I won't know any more than you do right now.
Ilya hums softly and rubs his nose against his husband's. Then he reaches his free hand toward the box still on the bed and slips it inside, carefully pulling out what had managed to broadcast the news correctly. Shane smiles when he sees them hanging from his hand; two tiny, perfect red baby hockey skates, with an H and an R engraved on the side. Ilya lets out a small choked sound as he looks at them again and turns to leave a succession of loud kisses on Shane's forehead, cheek, and lips. Then he slides down and leaves an even louder one on his belly, humming again as if he were already talking to someone.
They remain like this for a few moments, enveloped in the fullest feeling of love possible, until Ilya looks up from his belly and his brow suddenly changes, causing Shane to raise his eyebrows questioningly.
- Wait... So the shoes weren't for Anya?