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‘’-YOU STUPID, USELESS, WEAK PIECE OF-’’
TJ is once again thanking the universe and every entity that’s listening that he’s not sharing a room with anyone, and no one bears witness to the state he startles awake in. Sitting up, he wipes the sweat off his forehead and takes a deep, shaky breath.
After everything he’d witnessed, all the missions, the death, the pain and violence, one would think that all of that would be the subject of TJ’s nightmares.
But no. It's almost always the same one, the same person, the same scenario, the same nightmare.
And always the same dense cotton feeling in his head when he wakes up sweating.
TJ finds himself knocking on Price’s room door at three in the morning again, visibly swaying on his feet from exhaustion and still unable to fall asleep again for the past hour. It takes him a moment to even realize the door’s been open for a few good moments when he snaps back to reality.
‘’-J? TJ, you good?’’
Price stands in the doorway, his presence TJ can only describe as solid and warm, and it irritates him as much as provides comfort. He doesn’t answer, just shrugs his shoulders, and to John that’s all the answer he needs.
‘’Had that dream again?’’
Calling it a ‘dream’ is plain wrong, but John knows by now that using ‘nightmare’ will make TJ retreat even further into himself, as impossible as it seems to be.
The blonde nods, soft wisps hair falling into his eyes. He’s due for a haircut, but in all honesty the whole taskforce will agree that slightly longer hair suits him best.
‘’You want to come in, or go to the common room to find you a snack?’’ John gives him options, knowing that TJ needs to feel in control, that he’s the one choosing what happens.
‘’In…’’ Comes TJ’s answer after a moment of thinking. John nods, stepping away from the door to let the youngest of his soldiers in.
‘’Right, let’s get you comfy then.’’
TJ comes inside, and John can see his feet dragging and the way his shoulders hunch, noting just how exhausted he is.
‘’You go lay down, I’ll get us an extra blanket.’’
TJ all but falls down on the bed face down, listening to John rummage around’ looking for the blanket he has stashed for whenever one of his boys comes to his room in the middle of the night (something that happens more than John ever thought it would, not that he’s complaining). When John comes back with the blanket in hand, TJ’s top half is hanging off the side of the bed, looking for something under it.
‘’Found it yet, Timmy?’’ John taps TJ’s thigh, looking in amusement as his boy reaches almost blindly under the bed. With a chuckle he reaches and pulls gently on the collar of Tim’s shirt.
‘’Come back up here, love. I’ll get it, you just lay back.’’
TJ obeys and John kneels down, quickly pulling the desired object from under the bed. A grey koala plushie affectionately called Joonie that’s kept in John’s room specifically for TJ. He holds Joonie up for TJ to see.
‘’Here’s your friend, bud.’’
He sits on the bed next to Tim, placing the soft toy in his lap, and watches the blonde very slowly relax. John lets him take his time, laying back down on his bed and watching his boy stare down at the soft toy koala in his hands and taking deep breaths. When the sniffles start, he knows he can engage.
‘’Hey, it’s alright.’’ He pats the space next to him and allows TJ to crawl into his arms. He tucks the extra blanket around him before pulling him closer.
‘’It’s alright, Timmy, you’re safe. Not going to let anyone hurt my boy anymore.’’
Timmy, for his part, hides his face in the crook of John’s neck, clutching Joonie to his chest like a lifeline as he sniffles and shakes as the cracks in his emotional dam grow.
‘’Don’ let go…’’ He rasps, hating how small and vulnerable his voice sounds.
‘’Never.’’ John’s voice is soft but promising, and Timmy knows he can trust it. ‘’Not until you tell me to, love.’’
They lay like that for a while, Timmy’s tears soaking John’s shoulder as the older man comforts him in a hushed voice. John’s hand runs up and down Timmy’s back and his words, soft in a way Timmy doesn’t believe he deserves, slowly lull him to sleep.
John smiles softly when TJ’s breath evens out, giving him a little squeeze and planting a kiss to his temple before he lets sleep come over him as well.
For tonight, at least, no more nightmares will come to plague his darling boy. Not while John’s here.