Chapter Text
It was a beautiful day on Copper-9, there had been a light dusting of asbestos overnight, which refreshed the land and made things look nice. The bunker was bustling with energy, as the anniversary for Copper-9’s partial core collapse was coming up in a few days.
There has been a large bunker-wide party on the anniversary for Copper-9’s partial core collapse, as it signified the day where the humans were killed, liberating the Worker Drones. There was cheer in the air, everyone was in a good mood, except for everyone’s favorite resident purple eldritch-god.
Uzi had been commissioned to create the mechanisms for an elaborate fireworks display for the Implosion Day celebration. The fireworks display was very detailed and long, as this year was the first year they could do fireworks without the threat of being murdered by the Disassembly Drones.
Uzi was a smart drone, smarter than her peers, but this fireworks display was KILLING her. Making a whole detailed fireworks display out of what was essentially scrap was not the easiest thing to do, and she had only two days left to finish the project.
She had gotten into a focus and had figured out some of the really hard parts, but a particular nuisance was really taking her attention away from the project.
Cyn was bored, Nori had assisted Uzi in restricting access to the rest of her systems, causing them to be trapped in their host's tail. She was unable to do anything outside of what one could do in a tail, and Uzi hadn’t left her room in a few days, leaving Cyn to suffer.
“Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi. Uzi.” She exclaimed in their ever-so-monotonous voice but said Solver drone was ignoring them. “Annoyed Expression. Uzi. Why are you ignoring us. We’re bored.” She complained, bumping the concentrated drone’s arm with the nose of her tail.
They frowned when the Host still continued to work on the weird thing that she was doing and pondered what she could do to get the attention of Uzi. Cyn smirked, knowing EXACTLY what to do to get the attention of the locked-in Solver Host.
She navigated Uzi’s tail so that it was near her neck, before biting down on Uzi’s neck with a glitchy “Neck Bite”.
“OW? CYN WHAT THE HELL.” Uzi exclaimed as she was pulled away from her work. “I’m INCREDIBLY busy Cyn, and you KEEP HARRASING ME, you attention-seeking VIRUS.” She grabbed Cyn and shook them, causing a long and drawn out “Owwwww” to come from them.
Uzi dropped Cyn, causing her to flop on the ground before kicking her again and grabbing her phone. “I’m texting V to come take you somewhere to stop annoying me, I have two days to finish this project and you’re hellbent on taking away my focus.” She explained to Cyn, voice annoyed and mildly pissed off. Cyn stared at Uzi for a second, mildly confused because she was literally attached to Uzi.
Thirty minutes later, everyone’s favorite (non-corporate-obsessed) female Disassembly Drone strode through Uzi’s bedroom door nonchalantly. V smelled like she had just been outside, and she had little pieces of fluffy asbestos clinging to her jacket.
“So, Uzi,” she started with, “what am I doing with your freaky-aah tail, do you need me to nuke it or-” She paused, awaiting a response from Uzi who looked thankful that V was there. Uzi looked exhausted and had a bite mark on her neck from where Cyn bit her that was too shallow to be automatically healed by the Solver, so it was still lingering on the metal of Uzi’s neck.
“I’m going to need you to cut her off and then take her to McDroneald’s or something, she needs enrichment or something like that, I don’t know, I just need to focus on my project.” Uzi responded in a desperate way, seeing the delighted look that came upon V’s face as soon as Uzi told her that she needed her to cut Cyn off.
“Don’t have to ask me twice.” V exclaimed, already swapping her normal hand out for her claws. “But why McDroneald’s? Why not just dig a hole in the lake at 98.7 and then bomb it?” V asked, mildly disappointed that she didn’t get to destroy the vessel of the drone that had tormented her for years.
Uzi shrugged before responding, “I think she’s hungry or whatever, and besides, if the tail gets destroyed, she’ll just grow back and she’ll be extra annoyed with me, she always is whenever she gets cut off and destroyed.” Uzi knew this from experience, after the whole sudden acquisition of her eldritch-god status and the acquisition of Cyn possessing her tail, her, N, V, and J had taken time to cut her tail off and destroy it multiple times. Cyn was quite annoyed with her after this event, not letting her recharge for a day and a half because of her constant annoying.
V shrugged but agreed to not destroy Cyn before slicing Uzi’s tail off at the stump (much to Cyn’s displeasure), tying it around her wrist, and then leaving to go to the bunkers McDroneald’s while trying to ignore Cyn’s annoying yapping about how cutting her tail off was “eldritch tail abuse” and whatnot.
After a few detours because some hallways were closed down for maintenance or preparation for Implosion Day, V and her unwanted companion finally made it to the bunkers McDroneald’s. It cleared out as soon as she entered, as some people were still (rightfully) afraid that V was going to brutally murder them and they were disturbed by the weird fleshy thing that was Cyn wrapped around V’s wrist.
V scanned the menu to see if there was anything appealing on it and held her hand up so that Cyn could choose what she wanted from the menu. The menu was just a standard McDonald’s menu, with the Donald’s part scribbled out and replaced with a sticky-note that said “Droneald’s”. V was quite confused why none of the food items were x’d out and replaced with other food items, but she assumed that she would just get a substitute that was safe for drone consumption.
V walked up to the counter after confirming that Cyn was ready to order, seeing a nervous looking drone with a nametag that said “Egg” on it. Said drone made it through V ordering her “Sausage Egg McMuffin” without a flinch but fainted as soon as Cyn attempted to order because apparently hearing a voice from a disembodied tail wasn’t too healthy for the processor.
The unconscious drone was dragged off by two drones that came from the back and was replaced by a drone that had a nametag on it that read “Toast”. These drones have odd names. V thought to herself as she wondered if the two human breakfast foods named drones were related at all.
“Hello Ma’am, sorry for the delay in your order, Disassembly Drones and amputated tails aren’t exactly a very common appearance around here. I have half your order, what did your uh, tail, thing, want?” The drone asked while looking at Cyn, body language surprisingly not as nervous as V expected.
Cyn ordered a burger bun with a raw beef patty, 6 packets of ketchup, and 6 packets of mustard. The drone did not say anything about substitutions, so V spoke up. “So… is this… real food? Or… like. Substitutions that we can digest…?”
V was shocked to hear that indeed the food was real and not some substitution that drones could eat. She wondered where the food even came from since food like that would’ve rotted years ago, but she did not want to know the answer.
Once they got their food, V walked to the booth that was the closest to the door. She untied Cyn from her tail and set her on the booth with her food before unwrapping her “Sausage Egg McMuffin”.
…
She was confused how it looked exactly like the picture but was too tired to ponder why she was about to eat real food.
Cyn absolutely destroyed her weird abomination of a food combination, leaving a massive mess and covering herself in ketchup and mustard. V ate her food, it was surprisingly good and she was able to digest it despite not being able to consume organic food.
In order to clean the now disgusting Cyn, she placed her in the bathroom sink and let her squirm around like a weird, mutated snake, using this as the rest of Cyn’s enrichment time. V sighed as she heard Cyn’s weird giggles from them squirming in the soapy water, “What I do for weird purple gods, I swear…” V facepalmed and contemplated her existence for the rest of Cyn’s bath/enrichment time, before bringing Cyn back to Uzi’s apartment once Uzi was finally done with her time-intensive task.