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Kimi groans, turning over to lie on his back, pressing his forearm into his forehead. The warmth radiating off of himself barely surprises him anymore.
He’d been sick for the past two days, and the fever seemed to have peaked.
Now, that was all good and well, because it meant that he could miss school, and he wouldn’t even be faking an illness this time.
The problem he faced came in the form of an overly cheerful German named Sebastian Vettel.
If news got out that Kimi had actually come down with something, he’d most certainly insist on coming over to check on him. Which in truth, he really did not need at the moment. He didn’t want to unnecessarily worry Seb.
Maybe if he told the German he was contagious that would steer him away from the thought of even visiting.
The high fever slowly lulls him back to sleep, but before he could doze off, his phone started buzzing with messages. It was only 6 in the morning. Who the hell could be frantically texting him at this time?
Kimi picked up his phone and groaned at the name of the contact. It was Seb. Sighing, Kimi unlocked his phone to read through the flurry of messages that Seb had sent him.
Are you mad at me?
Why didn’t you call me back yesterday?
Is everything alright?
Are you angry with me?
I’m sorry if I made you mad
The bright glare of his phone screen, paired with the current darkness of the room around him only served to make Kimi’s already annoying headache far worse.
Seb mentioned having called him in quiet. a few of his texts. Sure enough, when he scrolled through his outgoing calls, there it was. Seb had indeed called him yesterday, only he’d missed the notification because he was too busy puking his guts out.
Seb was still texting him. Kimi thought it best that he knew what exactly had happened.
sorry i forgot to call
Good enough, he supposed. Seb certainly seemed to think so, for the next few messages he sent were of smiley faces and well wishes telling him to have a good day.
Will I see you in class today? You didn’t come yesterday
And there it was, the question. Kimi typed in his preplanned answer and prayed that Seb wouldn’t follow up on it.
am sick. contagious, i think. probably got Rami sick.
Now, that was a lie. His brother was perfectly healthy at the moment, he seemed to be the only member of his family suffering from this godforsaken illness.
But Seb didn’t know that. And hopefully he didn’t worry enough to want to know.
Oh, okay. I need to go to school now, get well soon :)
Love you <3
Kimi found it only obligatory for him to reply with an “I love you” as well. Seb seemed to go offline after that, just like he said. Kimi heaved a sigh of relief and threw his phone back down onto the nightstand, finally able to succumb to the allure of sleep, amidst his feverish state.
He dreams of Seb, a world where their relationship expanded beyond friendship. Sure, they said “I love you” to each other all the time, but it was more amicable than romantic. A best friend thing, if you could call it that.
He wasn’t even sure if Seb liked him the same way he did. He was in many ways, different from Seb. Seb loved calling, preferred it much more to texting. Kimi liked hearing his voice, but it was no secret that the constant calls were a bit irritating for someone like him, who didn’t really enjoy talking in public.
Kimi constantly had his phone on “Do Not Disturb”, which just meant that he received even more calls than Seb, as when it was switched on, only the second call came through. Plus, he’d consistently miss some of Seb’s messages, which could be annoying with how randomly the German loved texting him.
Still, the infatuation for him was there, and growing with every passing day. The way that Seb had at least bothered to check up on him made his heart rate rise and his cheeks warm, but no one was around to see that.
Especially not in his fever aided delusions, the two of them sitting next to each other in a grassy plain, staring out into nothingness. Leaning closer to each other, faces closing the distance. Both of their heads turned, moving into each other and-
Kimi wakes himself up with a gasp, his heart beat racing from almost kissing dream Sebastian, and at the same time annoyed that it had barely been half an hour since he first dozed off.
He couldn’t even get a wink of sleep without Seb practically invading his headspace. He’s not that infatuated with Seb, is he?
He definitely tried to pretend he wasn’t.
He turns on his phone, only to find that lo and behold, the man of his dreams, or rather the man in his dreams, has called him again. Since he’d been sleeping, obviously, the call hadn’t gone through and Seb had resorted to leaving a text.
You sure you’re alright?
Btw please don’t get mad at me for calling so much
Have to get to class
Get well soon
Kimi responds to the last text wuth a simple thumbs up emoji, despite knowing Seb wouldn’t see it for at least another hour.
For a moment, Kimi contemplates going back to sleep, but that would mean facing the constant dreams plagued with Seb. Not that they were bad or he didn’t like them, but there was a time where he wanted to feel like kissing Seb and it wasn’t when he was running a high fever.
Just as he was about to get up and attempt to feed himself, he feels a slight tinge of nausea start to wash over him. So much for eating.
Cautiously, he grabbed the bucket that had been sitting at the foot of his bed, and rested it on his lap. By that time he already knew, he was going to throw up, there was no way around it. Chugging the glass of water on his night stand, he could only hope that it might help curb the burn of stomach acid.
Leaned over the bucket in his lap, praying to whatever higher being that would hear him at that moment, he selfishly wished that Seb was here to comfort him through the pain and sickness.
It wasn’t long before the inevitable happened. Kimi could only curse in Finnish while he tries his best not to choke or make a mess. Thankfully, he does neither of those things, and by the time he is done he’s breathing shakily, exhausted.
The short feeling of despair hits him, and suddenly he wishes that what he’s holding in his lap isn’t a sign of his body’s weakness but Sebastian instead. He instantly quells the thought when his mind deciphers what it means, suddenly becoming productive and going to deal with the bucket.
By the time he crawls back to bed a wave of loneliness washes over him. This sickness really had him by the throat. He almost wished that he told Seb to come over instead. Almost.
That would help with the sudden loneliness but for his feelings in the long term? Not so much. He didn’t need to fall harder when he was already feeling like he wanted to die.
Plus, there was a part of him that would probably just die on the spot if Seb rejected him anyway. He’d like to actually make it out of the year without any emotional damage.
There was no real way of knowing if Seb did like him anyway. He was nice to Kimi, yes, but he was nice to everyone. Was Kimi special? Maybe, maybe not. He couldn’t tell. And it would honestly hurt more if he knew he wasn’t, than if he kept himself in the dark about it.
Collapsing back onto the pillows, Kimi desperately tries to rest. His body, already worn out, complies without any hesitation. Unluckily for him, the next dream in his head was about Sebastian once again.
The two of them, standing on a rooftop watching the sunset. Kimi is smoking a cigarette, watching the cloud float past in the sky. Seb, standing next to him, reaches his hand out for Kimi’s cigarette.
“You don’t smoke.” Kimi remarks. He wonders why Seb would do such a thing.
“I know. Just once?” Seb asks, his eyes settling into that adorable pleading look that they both knew Kimi was a sucker for. Despite knowing better, Kimi sighs and hands over the cig.
Seb takes a drag and immediately starts coughing, handing it back to Kimi.
“Fuck- this is worse than I thought, actually. How do you do this all the time?” Seb asks, genuinely impressed now.
“I’ve just been smoking for a while. Just picked it up one day. It’s bad for me but the nicotine is good.”
The two of them fall into a comfortable silence once again, watching the sky slowly turn into a shade of orange.
“Kimi, you know what would be good right now?” Seb speaks up, his voice this time slightly seductive.
“What?”
Before Kimi could even register anything, Seb had pulled the cigarette from between his lips and captured them in his. Kimi felt his eyes grow wide for a second before relaxing into it and kissing back.
Seb finally pulls away, a small smirk on his face. Kimi is panting, his gaze travelling down the man he’s wanted for so long, till he eventually can’t control himself and pins Seb to the wall they’ve been leaning on. Seb only grins wider under his grasp.
God, in that moment he can think of 101 things he wants to do to Seb. His mind is practically racing with the prospect of Seb being his. But wait- he can’t do any of that- this isn’t-
Kimi wakes up with a start once again, embarrassed by the self indulgent dream. God, when would his mind stop showing him that one man? It couldn’t possibly be that hard.
This time, he finds that he actually did sleep for several hours. Another missed call from Seb, as evidenced by the messages. Just as he was about to scroll through the texts that Seb had sent him while he was asleep, his phone started ringing again, the caller none other than Sebastian himself.
“Hey.” Kimi picks up the phone, almost cringing when he becomes aware of the fact that his voice sounds extra raspy, whether from the sickness or the sleep, he couldn’t tell.
“Oh, Kimi, you’re awake!” Seb’s voice is cheerful and somewhat soothing to Kimi, but he has to pause at what the German says.
“How did you know I was sleeping?”
“Your mom told me. I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.” Seb says, and Kimi can’t help but be surprised. He did tell Seb not to come over and risk getting himself sick, didn’t he?
“I thought I told you it was contagious. I told you not to come over.”
“I asked your mom about that, and from what I understand that’s completely bullshit. You told me your brother was sick. He’s perfectly healthy.” Seb explains.
“Oh.”
“You liar, you were trying to keep me from visiting, were you? Didn’t want me to worry? I was going to come over anyway, before you say anything about it, and I know you will.” Seb adds, and whatever argument Kimi was planning to utter completely died in his throat.
“…Fine.” He grumbles after a second of contemplative silence.
“I’m coming up to your room now, no buts.” From his serious tone, Kimi knew there was no arguing with Seb like this, and simply resigned to his fate.
The bedroom door slowly creamed open, and his crush walked in. Sebastian instantly took one look at Kimi sitting in bed and softened his gaze.
How bad he must have looked for that to happen, Kimi wonders.
“I did tell you not to come over.” Kimi grumbles. He can hear Seb sighing. Kimi didn’t want Seb to see him in this state, or worry like he usually would. To no avail, it seemed.
“The moment you told me you were sick I had to come over.” Seb replies, sitting down next to Kimi on the bed. Perhaps it was the sickness, but he wanted nothing more than to crawl into the German’s embrace, and let Seb comfort him the way he always would.
“Stubborn as always.” Kimi grumbles, knowing that he’s failed once again to sound annoyed.
Seb simply pulls Kimi closer to him, one arm wrapped around his waist. At the soothing, warm touch, Kimi has to battle the urge to give in and lean into it. He eventually stops trying to pull away and makes himself comfortable against Seb’s side.
“I care about you, Kimi. More than you know.” Seb whispers softly, and Kimi sighs at the feeling of the German running his fingers through Kimi’s short blond hair.
He doesn’t have a response to Seb’s words. Kimi already knows that Seb cares. He’s told him that at least a hundred times now, and Kimi is certain he’s never lied about that.
“But… why?”
That was all he could say. His emotions were a mess right now. He wanted to bask in the comfort Sebastian was so willingly providing him. He was confused by why such a good man would waste so much time caring about someone like him. And he was a little weirded out by how content he had felt when he heard Seb say that he cared.
“Because I like you, you idiot.”
Oh. Oh.
“Me- me too.” Kimi replies, his voice almost a mumble as he buries his face into Seb’s shoulder when the familiar heat of a blush starts creeping up on him.
“In that way?”
“Yeah.”
“For how long?” Seb asks.
“As long as I can remember.” Kimi answers earnestly.
“Same here.”
They both sit in silence, Kimi with his eyes closed, no longer shivering as he leans desperately into Seb’s body, and Seb running his fingers through Kimi’s hair.
“I’d kiss you right now if I wasn’t sick…” Kimi mumbles, without understanding what he said until it came out of his mouth.
He can hear Seb chuckle and tousle his hair even more playfully than before.
“How bold of you. I’d like that. But just rest now, okay? We save that for when you’re not sick anymore.” Seb’s voice has zero hint of a joking tone in it, and Kimi finally realises, that maybe it isn’t a dream, that Seb really does like him.
“So what are we?” Kimi finally asks the question both of them had been meaning to say. They’ve both said that they like each other, now what?
“Whatever we want to be. Friends, lovers, more than friends? Anything.” was Seb’s reply. Kimi acknowledges that it isn’t a bad one.
“Lovers, hopefully. But only if you promise to stop calling me so much.” Kimi adds, smiling for the first time that day.
“Okay, but only if you come to me whenever you need help.” Seb adds on his end of the deal, and if he was being honest, it was a good agreement.
“Deal?”
“Deal.”
The both of them continue sitting together in a comfortable silence, Kimi still pressed up to Seb, as close as he can get.
All his fantasies were going to become real soon enough. Fuck the fever dreams, Sebastian Vettel had just agreed to be his lover.
All he had to do was get rid of this goddamn illness, and he could start enjoying something with his new boyfriend.