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Another sign flew past his head and lodged into the building next to him. Izaya had tilted himself out of the way. He could feel the wind slice through the air, passing by him by a mere three inches. Meeting Shizuo’s deadly gaze from where he threw it, he lifted his knife as a dare. There were a few objects around them that he could potentially throw; they were in the middle of the city, far from where Shizuo had originally spotted him.
Why couldn’t this guy just go down?
His existence defied everything he loved about humans. He wasn't able to hold complex thoughts or reason, and what did that really make someone if they didn't have that? There was no purpose for him to be living and breathing. He would do the universe a favor by dropping dead.
The beast kicked himself into motion and chased after him again. Izaya glanced for an exit and found one easily. He grabbed hold of the wedged-in sign and lifted himself up and jumped from it to grab hold of the building ledge. From there, he traveled along it to move west. Some distance would be good for a moment.
He had been thinking about it all last night, and he bet if he got him tired out, he’d manage to get in a slice bad enough to actually land him in the hospital. Death would be preferred, but he wanted to be a bit realistic for a guy who walks off a truck.
It was irksome that their staminas matched.
He watched as Shizuo chased after him from below, measuring his movements as Izaya jumped from railings and flipped over the edges of the rooftops. He hadn’t decided to chase him to his higher ground yet. This was good. Maybe a weakness he could exploit. If he stayed up high, he could probably throw a knife. Was his aim good enough for that? He needed to start practicing.
Izaya looked down, and Shizuo was missing. That filled him with sudden uncertainty. He knew better than to slow down; there was no way Shizuo would give up. So, this was good. He could take a left and wrap around the block and get him from behind.
The sound of something dangerous announced behind him, and he dropped down into a roll on the narrow ledge. He slid to a stop, twisting his body to get traction to control himself. He watched as a street bench passed over him and smashed into the building he was about to jump to. If he didn’t change his trajectory, he would be launching himself face-first into the bench. How annoying!
He made the split-second decision to jump backwards off the building, kicking himself off, then twisting to get his bearings as he looked for something to break his fall. It was looking grim. He prepared to tuck his body and roll when another sign launched into the building next to him, creating a perfect step for him to stop his fall. Thank you, Shizu!
He jumped off it and did a fun flourish as he landed on the ground. Shizuo was gaining on him again; he saw the blond hair and heard the monstrous yell.
Okay, if he made a turn here, he could make the attack he wanted to.
He kept his eyes peeking behind himself as he knew the brute was chasing, but he swore up and down he had been paying attention to where he was going. It’d be life or death if he hadn’t. So, someone please tell him how he slammed into a brick wall.
“Oof!”
“Woah!!”
The brick wall could speak.
The brick wall was a large Black man decked out in a blue and white happi.
The way he looked down at him was menacing, in a way. It’s not what Izaya could deal with right now.
“Move!” he yelled as he pushed himself out of the way. He could feel Shizuo gaining on him. He had to get away now.
The man grabbed his arm and dragged him back. Panic set in, and he looked at the man, who still had a menacing, kind smile. “Hey!” he tried to reason. “Let go—“ He looked behind himself and tugged harder as a vending machine was being thrown their way. Was this guy crazy!?
Izaya braced for impact, but none came, only a heavy jerk and a terrible sound of metal crunching upon itself and the brick wall dragging him with it as the man caught the vending machine with one arm.
Izaya was floored. He looked up at the man in dismay. Was this another monster?
A distant “What the hell!?” was shouted down the way from where Shizuo was still bent on chasing him.
“Violence is no good!” the wall bellowed with kindness.
He watched as Shizuo approached with his seething rage. This wasn’t good. He looked at the man again, who had no visible reaction to the beast approaching. That was bad. Izaya pulled again, grasping at the hand that had his arm stuck. Sweat chilled over his skin as Shizuo got closer and closer.
“Let go of me!”
“You both just need to talk it out! With sushi!”
“What are you talking about!?” Shizuo yelled from where he approached, his feet still having it in a run. “Are you protecting that flea!?”
“Be friends!”
“Hah!” Izaya scrunched his nose in disdain; he still tugged at the grip, hoping enough wiggling would get him out. Doing nothing felt worse than failing. “I would try—except that’s not a human.”
“Shut the fuck up!”
His anger for Izaya projected onto this annoying stranger. He threw a punch with his entire weight into it at the man, and it was astounding seeing someone meet it with a hand and deflect it down. Shizuo’s momentum continued, and he stumbled forward with shock. He hadn’t expected someone taking a punch from him, probably ever.
Then Shizuo’s shirt collar was grabbed, and he was yanked back like a dog. Izaya would have found it funny if he weren’t so livid about being stuck too.
“Hey!”
“Come, come! No need for such fighting when you’re so young! Make friendship! Eat sushi.”
“Who the hell do you think you are!?” Izaya shouted from where he pulled.
Shizuo thrashed from where he was grabbed too. The two of them struggled against this stranger as they were now being dragged somewhere.
“I’m friend! Yes, new friend. You are new friends too!”
Russia Sushi emerged from around the corner like a horrifying beacon. Confusion between the two young men had them drop their resistance as something so appallingly random happened to them. The stranger spoke the entire time in broken Japanese, rattling on about nonsense, then brought them into the restaurant.
They both couldn’t react. The moment they were let go, they stumbled in and fell into seats at the sushi bar. The adrenaline was insane under his skin, and maybe that’s why Izaya just couldn’t comprehend the situation.
Two servings of sushi, yellowtail and fatty tuna, were pushed their way before they could even speak.
“So you’re the troublemakers, huh?” an older white man said as he set them down. “Simon was telling me all about you two.”
Shizuo and Izaya glanced at each other, and bubbling hatred rushed through them again, bristling.
“It’s on the house. Eat up.”
Their glare broke, and without a word, they both grabbed some sushi and stuffed it in their mouths.
The next day, he won’t say that there wasn’t an unease about last night. It was strange and awful to be put in such a situation. To be dramatic, he felt dirty thinking about it! He had spent a long portion of the day complaining to Shinra. As if Shinra even cared. He got on a high horse about how maybe it was a divine intervention! Fate brought this stranger upon you to urge you both to come together! It definitely seems better than fighting him every day, right?
It does not. The amount of disgust that boiled in Izaya’s stomach when he even heard that offer… Last night would never happen again. He may even cut that man’s—Simon? — hand off if he touched him again. To force him into such a position…
It was distracting him. He nearly got hit by a stop sign just now. It breezed past him by a hair, and not on purpose. He was just incredibly lucky this protozoan creature had a terrible aim.
He was in a particularly sour mood, and Shizuo needed to pay for that. He didn’t feel like running as much today. It had caused issues, and he wanted this over with.
He killed the distance between them, running after him this time. Shizuo seemed put off guard but knew Izaya’s next move. He grabbed a trash can and held it up, waiting for Izaya to come close so he could bash it into him when he made his play.
They both knew what would happen, and they both trusted in their own abilities to squash the other. Izaya went low, Shizuo went high. The trash can was sent down, and in a complicated contortion of his body, Izaya dodged it. He swung his arm and plunged his knife into a sign—into…into a sign?
Yes, a white sign that was more square than rectangular and written out in messy brush strokes: “RUSSIA SUSHI! COME EAT!”
“Hah…?” Izaya couldn’t pull his knife back in time; it was too late. A hand grabbed the back of his coat and pulled him back.
“Fighting always bad!” That annoying, loud voice!
Humiliation sunk into his stomach as he was grabbed like a kitten, and he yelled out in frustration.
When Shizuo realized what was happening, he knew he was just as livid at this stranger. His scream was from his soul as he went to attack him. Simon didn’t react with any fear or despair, taking a punch in the face like a champ, then grabbing hold of Shizuo’s shirt. Once again, having them both in his clutches.
“Me, I’m broken record!” He shook his head with grief. “The cows are home already, and you are still fighting! This is no good. You need more sushi.”
“We don’t need any sushi, you crazy—ugh!” Izaya hissed in his fit, reaching behind himself to try and relieve the hold. His knife was in the stupid sign that was now being ditched. Goddamn it!
“Let go!” Shizuo yelled from where he kicked and seethed. “I’ll kill you!”
“It’s simple! Be friends! Love each other.”
The mention of love made him sick.
“Don’t bring love into this. He’s nothing I could ever love. He’s the betrayal of humanity.”
“Shut the fuck up! I’m going to get out of this, and I’m going to kill you dead,” Shizuo growled from his side.
“Please try; I’d—“
“Stop! Stop! Sushi time!”
“I don’t want fucking sushi! Let me go!” They both shouted out in unison as their flailing got worse.
They looked like rabid animals being carried along by animal control. The locals who suffered from their constant fighting stopped and watched as they were dragged along, ultimately shoved into Russia Sushi for the second time.
They both stumbled in. This time, shock wasn’t on their side. Shizuo was instant to take the opportunity, and Izaya was without his knife. Shizuo grabbed his shirt and slammed Izaya up against the bar, pinning him against it. Their eyes were intensely locked on each other, and Izaya braced himself. Whatever happens here, he will foster hatred for this establishment.
“Hey!” The other voice shouted to them. Their attention broke off each other to the owner. He already had sushi prepared, and he placed them on their spots. “Keep that out there. Now, eat.”
Denis had more authority than Simon.
He got one last glare from Shizuo before he dropped him. Izaya huffed out air from his lungs and grumbled as they both went back into their spots. Same side with two seats between them.
Fatty tuna was waiting for him, and Izaya stared at the fish for a moment. It was delicious last night, and it looked even better today. God damn it. He grumpily shoved it into his mouth.
Shizuo was hunched over his seat and eating like an animal, his teeth bared and grinding it all down. Izaya sneered at him with disgust.
“Good! Friends now, yes?” called the voice at the door.
Shizuo and Izaya whipped to the door to snap at him, “Shut up, Simon!”
They purposefully avoided the area near Russia Sushi like it was a contaminated zone. Even if they were good exits strategically, Izaya would allow Shizuo to catch up to him rather than daring to end up near the restaurant. Simon happened twice, and that wasn’t good. Izaya didn’t think his pride could take another hit like that.
He saw Shizuo was having the same paranoia; he caught him looking over his shoulder a lot, just as Izaya was. It was annoyingly distracting.
“Simon isn’t here to spare you this time, Shizu,” Izaya shouted out to him with pleasure.
“Hah!” Shizuo had a menacing grin from where he stood on the other end of the alleyway. “That annoying fuck didn’t save me; that owner saved you.”
Izaya bristled at the memory. Being pinned helpless like that…
“Cute to know how many knives you think I have.” To show it off, he threw a blade. It lodged right into Shizuo’s shoulder, and the beast stumbled back in surprise.
Damn it. He needed to work on his aim for sure. Practicing last night wasn’t enough.
“YOU—“ Shizuo was livid. He grabbed the knife and plucked it out of his shoulder and threw it to the ground. He grabbed another vending machine and ripped it from the street.
It was perfect; he had plenty of opportunities to just pelt him with knives if he wanted to! The best target practice is the real thing, it seems! Izaya smiled with anticipation as he equipped another throwing knife between his fingers. He just needed to dodge the vending machine, and then Shizuo was as good as gone.
The yell announced the throw, and Izaya prepared to sidestep it. Once more—it was stopped by an otherworldly force.
The two of them completely stopped; their hatred halted for a unified, desperate confusion.
Why was Simon—how was Simon—where was Simon—!?
Izaya watched in awe as the large man braced the vending machine out of the way.
He took one step back, then another. The scream from the other end of the alleyway was going to be feral enough to become a diversion. He’ll give the brute some credit; he did make a great distraction.
Bye, Shizu! Have fun eating sushi!
Simon, instead of focusing on Shizuo, turned and smiled at Izaya.
“HI! I was deliver sushi and noticed you having fight! Don’t you know, fighting…” He shook his head. “It’s no good.”
“So, I’ve heard…” Izaya growled out lowly. He retrieved a smile to smooth it all over. “Violence is just the worst, I agree. How about I get out of your hair while you deal with the monster?”
“No, ShizUO fights with you. Make up! Be friends!”
“Sorry to burst your bubble, Simon. But that’s never going to happen.”
“Aw, why no?”
“SIMON, LEAVE US ALONE! YOU’RE SERIOUSLY PISSING ME OFF!” yelled behind him. A street sign came whirling across, swung like a baseball bat, aiming for his head.
The large man turned and braced his arm up, taking the blow of the sign, and he pushed it off himself. It was the perfect time to run.
Izaya spun on his heel to book it. A large hand grabbed him by his scruff again. Anger ran up his entire being, and Izaya grabbed his knife to try and reach behind him. He didn’t want to actually stab this man, but he hoped it would at least get him dropped.
Shizuo also knew better than to get grabbed; he was playing this more carefully. Or, as carefully as one could be, being a one-celled organism. Izaya hoped that maybe the distraction of Shizuo would get Simon to let go, but it was so much worse.
The monster attacking Simon had Simon dragging Izaya up and around like he was a helpless cub. He was lifted into the air, and Izaya thrashed and yelled out, waving his knife around uselessly. The smartest move would be to wiggle out of his clothes, but it wasn’t just his jacket he was holding onto. Was it worth running around Ikebukuro shirtless?
The vending machine from earlier was picked up and kicked at them, and Izaya flailed to try and twist away. He could only hope to depend on Simon actually taking the blow—he did, insanely sturdy.
Their fight was dragging on way too long, and Izaya was still in the air. It was beyond humiliating.
Just as Izaya started working on wiggling out of his clothes, because fuck it, maybe it was worth it, he watched as Shizuo bolted towards them, and Izaya braced for Simon to take another hit. The punch he threw was caught in one of Simon’s large hands, and it sent them skidding back as he let the punch move through him, not against him. It was the beast's downfall. He got too close.
Simon pulled back, jerking Izaya to the side, pulling Shizuo’s weight forward into a stumble, and managed to control that weight until he had him in a grab around his shoulders. Izaya was dragged back over to shove up against his chest, strong-arming them both in a half hug.
They both yelled out in annoyed protest.
“Let’s go have sushi time! Bonding!”
They both were practically smooshed together in his arms, being shoved forward as they started to walk. They looked at each other with a mixture of horror and disgust; their hatred for each other was pushed to the side, both unified now on a hatred for this large man. They seethed the entire walk to Russia Sushi.
With a final shove, they were thrown into the restaurant for the third time.
“Table for two!” Simon shouted gleefully.
“On it!”
Izaya and Shizuo took their seats and sank into them with a raw anger that sizzled. They couldn’t even look at each other as they settled down with sushi being pushed their way.
The fatty tuna was even better the third time.
Just because the last three days had that large oaf didn’t mean they’d just stop fighting. Izaya, today, had planned on some roadblocks; he had been tipping off gangs and delinquents into believing Shizuo had a weakness. High schoolers were easiest to convince that it was a test of strength, downplaying the issue. One of them just had to get lucky, after all.
By the time the little army had all been crumpled on the sidewalk, Shizuo was a heaving mess. He was dirtied by blood, grime, and bruises but still annoyingly standing. Izaya stood on a nearby rooftop, watching him. He stayed still. He knew Shizuo would see him.
One more breath… Shizuo’s attention went up, and they caught eye contact.
Izaya smirked with the tiniest flash of teeth and gave a cute wave with his knife.
Shizuo screamed, and Izaya booked it, jumping from building to building with Shizuo running alongside on the streets to start their dance. With three days in a row, they knew Simon would probably make an appearance, so they might as well fight as quickly and efficiently as possible before they were caught.
They got a surprisingly high amount of time together. He liked that Shizuo was so roughed up already; he wanted to believe that’s how he was able to get in more knife slices than usual. Against every punch and throw, Izaya moved like water, sinking into his own weight to dodge and flip with every oncoming attack. It was a closer range than normal, and it was more fun this way. It drew more blood and tattered that white shirt.
“ShiZUO! IzAYA!”
Shizuo stopped lifting the bench the moment he heard it. Izaya paused his focus, looking to the source.
Simon was approaching from behind, and Izaya slumped his shoulders. He was not going to get grabbed today. He flicked his knife shut and stuffed it into his pocket.
Shizuo seemed to have the same conclusion because he stepped away from the bench and walked up.
“Touch me again and I will tear you apart.”
“No violence, no violence! Fighting time is over!”
“Yes,” Izaya grunted. “We get it. Let’s just go.”
Shizuo glanced at Izaya, and that sparked anger over both of them. It nearly called off listening to Simon, but they remembered the last three days. Both of their prides couldn’t handle getting yoinked for that many days in a row. They just couldn’t.
So, they turned their noses at each other and started walking.
“Good!! Sushi time is the best time! We make friends, and we eat food, and it’s yummy, yummy!”
Hunger did itch at him. He knew fatty tuna would be waiting there for him, and that made walking next to the breathing singular brain cell worth tolerating. They both seemed to be on the same page on that.
Simon kept talking on and on about friendship, love, and sushi. It was the same repeated phrases that Izaya was fairly sure were just to fill the silence. Neither Izaya nor Shizuo was responding to him. They walked completely silent until their destination.
Shizuo walked in first, Izaya second. Simon didn’t even announce them; he just gave a toothy smile and Denis a thumbs up.
Their usuals were set out immediately, but this time with an extra roll.
“We got some fresh king crab,” Denis said casually. “Simon told me you’d be walking in by yourselves today.”
The two of them straightened up with shock.
“Because he’s goddamn annoying,” Shizuo growled out.
Izaya popped some fatty tuna into his mouth and swiped some crab. “It’s free sushi; why would I be making a fuss?” he lied so easily.
“Starting tomorrow, you’re going to be paying customers.”
“Ah… there goes the incentive,” Izaya sank his shoulders. “Unless, Shizu, you don’t mind picking up my tab, do you? You are the reason we’re both here.”
“Hah?” Shizuo’s attention burned into Izaya like a fiery blaze. “I’m the reason?”
“If you weren’t so disastrously monstrous, I’m sure our rivalry would be nothing but some college-age squabble. Something much healthier, most likely. I doubt I’d ever even need to stab you!”
“You wish it would be. I’d still kill you.”
“Shut up and eat, you brute. You’re ruining my appetite.”
Shizuo shot up from his seat. “HUH? You’re going to tell me what to do!?”
“Hm, you’re right. My mistake to think you would be civilized enough to understand a restaurant.” He eased back in his chair, one hand holding nigiri, the other slipping into his pocket for his knife.
“You—!”
Shizuo was on him in less than a moment, grabbing his jacket, and Izaya had his knife pressed at Shizuo’s side as a warning.
“HEY! NO FIGHTING!” Simon boomed from the doorway. “Eat and have good time!”
It irritated the both of them, and they glared at him.
“Fine, alright.” Denis sighed. “If you come in here and behave nicely, it’s on the house. Just sit down.”
They looked at each other for a moment… Izaya surrendered his switch blade to put himself on higher ground. Shizuo let go of him and went back to his seat. They went back to eating in silence.
From this moment forward, Izaya would forever crave tuna after fighting Shizuo.