Archive of Our Own ^beta

Author's homepage: http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/brett/283/index.html

New comp!! New comp!! (Yeah Angel, I finally got off my arse and finished building the bloody thing)...got my TS desktop theme running <g> '...The jungles of Peru...'...are pink.  No, really,  It's a second hand monitor and it's completely fucked... Anyways.  New comp=more stories (hopefully!)

There was nothing

And everything.

Sounds swirled into scents swirled into sensations swirled into a maelstrom of color, brighter and brighter until there was nothing but a sea of white.

It was nothing.  And yet it was everything.

Part of Jim wanted to dive into the sensation, surround himself in the reality/nonreality, revel in the feeling, become it...

"Hey, Jim, buddy, come on, come back don't do this to me.."

A voice intruded on the edge of the vastness, drawing him back from the precipice.

"I thought you said you read my research?"  Then another voice intruded.  Dark. Hated. Threatening.

Jim came back to himself with a gasp, swaying back a little into the strong body behind him.

"You ok, man?" Blue eyes searched his concernedly and Jim resisted the urge to grab the other man and sweep him into his arms.  Not here, not now. No need to give Brackett any more cards.

"Yeah."

Jim made the rest of the way across in a daze, body working on autopilot, not rally snapping in until it was almost too late, ordering Sandburg to warn the security, while he took on an airplane.  As he clung and battered at the other man, part of his mind wondered whether or not this could be construed as slightly obsessive behavior...

And then Jim heard the gunfire.

It clattered against his sensitive eardrums and he nearly screamed.  In his mind's eye he could see in wide screen, glorious, horribly apt Technicolor as the lithe frame jerked in a macabre dance, bullet after bullet slammed into warm flesh at high velocity.  Blair was dead.

And Jim had never even told him he loved him.

Loved him, not lust.  Although the lust had at first been a major component, as the smaller man had unfolded, piece by piece like some rare flower, Jim had found himself being sucked in.  Sucked in by the younger man's kinetic energy, the life that flowed through and around him and all who touched him.

But now it was gone.

Wiped out by some trigger happy soldier boy, because of this smug bastard.

With a noise that was half snarl, half weep, he dragged Brackett from the plane.  For one minute he clenched the other man's neck in his hands, imagining what it would be like to snap it, see that smug grinning, too-confident face drop coldly and vacantly onto the concrete floor.  His hands tightened.

And then he heard it.

That voice, hoarse, screaming, sounding like a bucket full of gravel, yet the purest, sweetest thing he had ever heard.  Dragging Brackett with him, he headed for the source, heart singing.

Blair Sandburg was alive.

When it was all over bar the shouting, Jim took the time to just look at his partner.  Cataloguing him sense by sense.  His eyes took in the dust smattering the front of his shirt, the tip of a toe poking out from a sock that had no shoe covering it.  The smell of sweat, adrenaline and Blair wafted over him, sparking a remembrance of that touch, one that had brought him back from a dream and into reality.

"Man, that was so not fun.  How the hell did Brackett connect my research??" Blue eyes looked up pleading. "Jim, man, you have got to believe me.  I keep everything encrypted. I don't use your name.  I-"

Letting the words wash over him, Jim decided it was time.  Now.  Tell him. Tell his friend, partner...Guide.

Guide.  The same word Brackett used.  And it fitted.  Sandburg was his Guide.  The smile of his face widened to immense proportions, threatening to split his head.

Guide

He needed Sandburg.  Now. Forever.

And the kid knew it.  There was no turning back now, no real fear of the other man leaving him.  Sentinel and Guide.  They were bound.

Blair was his Guide.

And he deserved the truth.

Jim opened his mouth. "Sandburg-"

"Yeah?"

Jim shut his mouth, ice shrouding his heart.  How would Mr. Marathon sex relate to the fact his male room mate wanted him?  Jump for joy?  Shrug? Turn tail and run, even knowing what he did??

He couldn't risk it.

Better to have loved in secret, than have it known, and then piss off on you.

"Don't forget to take a breath, huh?"

Blair's face collapsed in relief. "Ok, ok, yeah, breathing is good, I can do that, sure..." Jim laughed and slung his arm around the other man's shoulder as they walked away.  Maybe it was time to give up. Maybe that was why he wanted Blair.  Maybe now, with the problem defined, compartmentalised, the aching want would stop. Ease it down, enjoy the friendship.

Try new avenues.

Like that Viral Biologist for example....

End Silent Seduction #7 - Rogue.