Chapter Text
It started on the ice rink.
Where most of Hayden’s life events seemed to occur.He was in the middle of wrangling a group of eight-year-olds whose blood sugar levels appeared both critically low and catastrophically high
“Zaychik!” he heard over the chatter of little hockey players. Oh no.
There was only one person who called him that. Grandma Pike called all of her grandchildren by pet names in Russian. And the last thing he wanted Rozanov to hear was that his was the translation of “Little Bunny”. Especially considering other nicknames included Lion, wolf, tiger, and bear. He scanned the boards, finding her standing there hoisting up a box of something. Beside her, stood Misha, who grinned at the sight of him.As if the universe hated him, Rozanov skated towards them, returning with a box.
“Hayden’s Babushka has brought treats!”
And suddenly the children were swarming around Rozanov as he explained what medovik squares were. The children turned into ravening wolves, and Hayden just knew there would be none left for him.
“You did not tell me your friend is Russian,” His Grandma told him when he skated up to her.
“He’s not…,” Hayden huffed in, “Grandma that’s Ilya Rozanov. Biggest asshole on the-
She swatted his arm with her purse much to the amusement of Misha. Rozanov skated back, smiling.
“Spasibo za vashu zabotu i ugoshcheniya,”
And Hayden watched his grandma melt.
“What are they saying?” he tried to whisper to Misha.
Misha, traitor that he was, only joined the conversation.
“This is the adopted brother?” Ilya asked, eyes bright,actually bright, as if Ded Moroz himself had appeared at center ice.
“I usually prefer Misha Pike,” Misha said smoothly. “Or Mikhail, if we want to be technical.”
“You have Russian Babushka and Russian brother and you learn no Russian?”
“Is my fault,” Grandma cut in, “when I came here people were not nice to Russians. I wanted my boy to be Canadian, and he raised his children….,” she gestured to Hayden, “Misha came to us when he was six. I make sure he does not lose his Russian,”
Rozanov was back to Russian, soothing, and talking sweetly to his Grandma.
“For the love of God, stop flirting with my Grandma,”
******************************************************************
“Where is Rozanov?” Hayden asked that next summer. He’d stopped by Shane’s cottage, fully expecting to see Rozanov lurking as he always did.
Shane blinked at him, “he’s…wait. You don’t know this? He’s at your Grandma’s,”
“What?”
“They cook together sometimes,”
No. No one had told Hayden that development. Not the Pike family groupchat, not his best friend, not his boyfriend, and not Ilya Rozanov.That led to Hayden driving straight to his grandma’s. And to call Cliff to complain about how his Grandma was being stolen.
“Hayd,” Cliff’s voice echoed off the speakers, “you do realize you’ll always be your Grandma’s little bunny,”
“Who. Told. You. That,” Even though Hayden knew the answer.
As he approached the apartment, he heard actual Russian music blaring through. He knocked, once, twice, and up to six times before he used the spare key. His nostrils were infiltrated by various smells, and Grandma and Rozanov were in the kitchen both wearing aprons.
“Zaychik!” Rozanov clearly did not care at all that he looked a bit ridiculous wearing one of Grandma’s aprons that were way too small for him.
Grandma wiped her hands on the dish towel before coming out to hug him, “we are making pelmeni though Ilyusha’s folding needs work,”
Rozanov began to protest, though half-heartedly in Russian, returning to the kitchen to the flour. This was all too much for Hayden, who sat himself down. He’d known all his life that his Grandma came from Russia. It was there in the way she said words, in the treats she made, in the nicknames she gave, but otherwise she was just as Canadian as they were.
She rarely talked about Russia or the USSR. Their dad told them to not ask. It upset her. Something about the way his dad said it made Hayden think he’d tried to ask and it did not end well. And here she was, being the picture of a Russian grandmother with Ilya Rozanov. Did she call him Ilyusha?
“So are you guys friends?” Hayden asked, sipping at his tea.
“Besties,” Ilya chirped, immediately serving some of the pelmeni onto each of the plates.
“It is nice,” Grandma said, “to have Russian friend. Misha is Russian but he came here as little boy. Is different,”
Hayden felt his insides soften, “that’s nice Grandma. I’m happy that Ilya has brought a bit of home back for you,”
He focused very much on not looking at Rozanov. And maybe he could find some time to ask his grandma about her life. If she could share with Ilya, then perhaps she could share with her own flesh and blood. And maybe he could learn Russian like Shane was.
“Promise me you’re okay with this,” Shane was saying over the car radio, “I mean I’ll tell him to stop but…,”
“But?”
“Look I’m not going into details but Ilya didn’t have the best life in Russia…and I mean he’s never said it but I think he appreciates having a bit of his culture back,” Shane explained, “and I think he does treat your Grandma well. He calls her Babushka,”
“I can’t believe I live in a life where I’m now sharing a Grandma with Ilya Rozanov,”
******************************************************************
Pike Sibs Only Groupchat:
Colleen: [Image Sent]
Grandma has updated her wall
Declan: Glad to see Shane is still making the top three.
Connor: I’m dead last?
Misha: You forgot to call on the day of Grandpa’s death anniversary.
Connor: I was in surgery!
Declan: Excuses excuses Dr. Pike.
Marie: Who is Ilya?
Misha: @ Hayden wanna explain that to them or shall I?
“Earth to Hayden? Hayden?” Cliff waved a hand in front of his boyfriend’s frozen face.
“Fucking Rozanov,” Hayden said turning over a picture of a plaque with a bunch of names. Cliff recognized the Pike sibling names…..Cliff scanned the plaque once.Twice.Then froze on a name that absolutely did not belong there. Ilya/ Илья . In first place.
Chains and Whips
Hayden: [Image Sent] Wtf Rozanov
Rasputin has loved the image
Rasputin: Babushka has updated her wall? I am #1?
Hayden: 😠
Rasputin: @ Shane I am number 1 even on wall of Grandmas. Look you are number 2.
Hayden: I was okay with you being friends with my Grandma…..
Rasputin: No. No. she tell me I am new improved grandchild. And now favorite.
“Your Grandma ranks her grandchildren?” Cliff couldn’t help but snort.
“Yeah every since we were kids. When Grandpa was alive, they’d spend Sunday afternoon debating the order,” Hayden could feel himself blushing, “yeah its weird, and probably not recommended by child psychologists-
“So is having nine kids,”
Hayden groaned, running a hand down his face, “my parents plan was for six-
“Still too many,”
“Colleen was an accident. I was born as the playmate, and then they adopted Misha,” It was the story his parents told all the time, laughing it off. He turned his eyes back to his groupchat, “how the hell do I explain to them that it's Rozanov?”
“Looks like Misha took care of that for you,”
Pike Sibs Only Groupchat:
Misha: It's Ilya Rozanov. Grandma met him at Hayden’s camp.
Colleen: 😯
Laurent: Holy shit.
Misha: It gets better. They meet up when he’s in Ottawa. They cook and listen to Russian music.
Colleen:
[gif of people bowing down]
Grandma is gonna have to nail him to first
Hayden: hang on. No one has ever stayed first for THAT long.
Declan: Pipe down. U were ranked #8 this week.
Marie: He’s hot…..think Grandma will let me come over? 😝
Hayden: 🤮 Aren’t u married?
Hayden: And like 40? With 3.5 children?
Marie: 🖕 Everyone shun #8
Declan: Already did.
Connor: Shunned.
******************************************************************
If Ilya was being honest, he did seek out Hayden’s grandmother partly to spite him. And partly out of curiosity. His father’s parents had been dead long before he was born. And his mother? She never spoke of hers. He’d seen them once at her funeral, and he’d been too bereaved to remember their faces with any kind of clarity. Grandparents used to be vague. But now? Now he has a Russian grandmother. And he had been told by Misha Pike that it was her birthday coming up. And he was preparing zakuski.
“Are you preparing to feed an army?” Shane’s voice startled him.
“Shane?” he called out pausing on his stirring, “you’re-
“Hayden told me that you invited his Grandma over,” Shane was untying his shoelaces, “this is-
“Traditional Russian birthday celebration,” Ilya went back to his stirring, “also is Pikachu not coming?”
“You invited him? He didn’t seem to know that,”
“Well his brain is tiny,”
Shane glared at him before giving in and walking up to give Ilya a quick peck on the lips. Ilya did want to kiss him more, but as his hands were full he accepted the quick show of affection.
“Hey Siri," Ilya called out, “call Metros Fifteenth Best Player,”
The phone rang four times before Hayden answered with a resigned yes Rasputin? Shane was shaking his head as if this wasn’t a normal occurrence.
“I’m invited to this?” Hayden repeated.
“She is our Babushka Pike,” Ilya told him, “and this week you are sixth. Perhaps top five next week?”