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Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Changing the Script

Prologue: Saturday 4 October, 1980; Godric's Hollow, Somerset, UK

James Potter opened the door to his cottage and warmly greeted his guest. "Petunia, thank you for coming."

Petunia Dursley nee Evans, smiled back just as warmly. "Of course, but what's with all the cloak and dagger?" She'd had to go through a bewildering maze of stops along the route from her and her husband's new home in Little Whinging. Vernon trotted up the path a moment later.

James ushered the pair in, "Can't be too careful these days. We have some things to go over just in case the worst should happen, and we're not around to care for Harry." His son had been born not two months prior; Lily emerged from the kitchen with the infant in a baby sling to greet her sister. Awed whispers and high-pitched squeals of greeting were shared between the womenfolk.

Vernon gently clapped James on the back, "Is this anything that had to do with what's-his-face's latest attack on Portsmouth?"

James nodded solemnly, "Yes, in fact. Come, let's have a seat and I'll give you the details." They all sat down at the dining table where James gestured to the collection of documentation. "What you're seeing are Goblin-certified copies of our Will, a copy of the key to our personal vault. It's not to the main one, that one requires the blood of a true Potter to be able to open for security reasons. Lily's and mine journals and notes on a variety of research topics, and most important, The Book of Potter."

Vernon frowned as he picked up the Book. "The way you said it makes it sound like it ought to be capitalized." He flipped through the blank pages, glancing up at his host with a curious raised eyebrow.

Petunia leant over to take a peek, "Is this anything like that Grimoire thing you mentioned once, Lily?"

"Very much like that," Lily confirmed. "A Grimoire covers all of the spells, potions, recipes, and other bits and pieces that make up the magic of the actual family over the centuries. The Book connects the people."

"With this, Harry or I would be able to write to any Potter in history," James added.

"Only you or Harry? Not Lily?" Petunia wondered.

James backed up a bit, "Well, Lily would be able to because she's married to a Potter, but if Joe Blogg off the street tried to write in it; it wouldn't work. There's a special ritual that someone would need to go through to be allowed to write in it."

"Which is what we'd like the both of you to agree to," Lily finished to her sister's amazement and Vernon's hesitancy. "What's wrong, Vernon?"

His eyes turned a bit shifty, "Um, would it matter if the person was not entirely magical? I mean, I know that you and Pet have that ability (which was a surprise to Petunia when she first visited Diagon Alley some time ago and could see the pub entrance. She had no wand abilities and her Magical Index Rating was below the Hogwarts cutoff number, but her talent in Earth Magic allowed her to get an education as a Hedge Witch via correspondence courses), but I've...well, I've tried to be supportive and all...it's just that..."

Petunia came to his rescue and let the two Potters know that Vernon was a Squib. James' jaw dropped, "No kidding? I've wondered sometimes. There'd be times when you'd react to something that ordinarily would've been undetectable by regular muggles. Anyhow, to put your fears to rest, you don't have to be magical in the least to take part of the ritual. All we would need is a few drops of your blood to mix in with an equal amount from one of us then let it soak into the front cover of the book while I cast a special spell known only to the Heads of Family."

Petunia's eyes lit up with eager interest, "So the Book uses some magical version of DNA fingerprinting? When this conflict is done and dusted, I would love to work with you and Lily to go deeper into this."

James coughed his laughter, "Now I know where Lily gets her enthusiasm from! (He sobered after a minute) Anyhow, like I said; Harry or someone keyed in would be able to talk to any Potter in history; even myself up to the point of my death. Now, keep in mind that there are rules that must be followed when using the book." He took the Book back from Vernon and opened it up to the back cover, pointing to a carefully written list of instructions.

• The Book's enchantments automatically translate the writer's original language into the language of the recipient's era (Old English to Modern English, for example) and vice versa.

• Information that can affect the writer's present may be transmitted but that information will not affect the writer's timeline.

  • If the information is powerful enough (the assassination of someone who'd otherwise lived, for instance); a new timeline will create a parallel universe. There is no way to connect with the new universe.

• Hand sketched images can be transmitted to the recipient.

• A list of Potters (plus their birth and death dates) are listed here.

• Times (hours within a day) are identical to they are now.

  • If you contact X Potter on November 21, 1514 at 3:00 pm; it shall still be 3:00pm in your time as well.

• The Book is blood-locked to prevent unauthorized access.

  • Only the Head of Family is allowed to add new users.

  • Artificial elevation by proclamation by the ruling council of the era is invalid and cannot be used to force an Heir to Head Status. The Book knows when the Heir is of age (set at the age of 17 by Linifred the Potterer.)

• If the Book is stolen and taken further than ten(10) feet away from a 'registered user'; it vanishes from the thief's possession and returns to the Head of the Family.

• When a registered user writes to a Potter, or vice versa; the recipient will feel a tale tell tug on their magic instructing them to seek out the Book.

  • The only time this doesn't work is if the recipient is under duress.

When Petunia and Vernon finished reading, Petunia turned worried eyes onto her sister and brother-in-law, "Is there a reason why you're doing all of this? I thought your side was winning."

Lily shook her head as she shifted Harry's position. "That's just something we've been telling the public to keep them from inciting a panic. The truth is, we're certain there's a spy amongst our ranks spilling secrets and plans to the enemy. On top of that, James and I aren't fully trusting of Albus Dumbledore any longer. He's been keeping secrets and sending us out on useless missions that only result in someone getting hurt or killed."

Petunia gasped, covering her mouth in fright. "Do you need help to escape? Vernon, didn't your boss mention that he was looking to get an office opened up in the United States?" Vernon nodded his agreement.

"The problem with that is our son seems to be part of a Prophecy that's been the Dark Lord's focus of late. We only know about it because I've got a contact within our Department of Mysteries," Lily countered.

Petunia frowned, "You said there are rumors of a spy. What about the three who you're closest to? Do you trust any of them?" James got up to get them all some refreshments.

Lily bobbed her head, "Remus without a doubt. His...well, Moony would never betray his pack. Sirius is loyal, but impulsive at times; and Peter...well, he was seen hanging around some Death Eaters recently and not as part of a mission." She tapped the Book. "Petunia, I want you to write to me often. I don't care if Harry is sixteen or thirty-seven happily married with a dozen kids in the future while my Harry is still learning learning how to laugh and smile; I want to know how he's doing." This was something Petunia wholeheartedly agreed with (Vernon did as well.)

When James returned, he added, "I promise that if any one of them betray our Secret, Magic will not respond kindly. Should they willingly talk, their magic will be stripped away as punishment." Lily looked surprised at her husband's viciousness. "At any rate, it's important that Harry gets the Book when he turns eleven. He'll be able to get the answers that only a Potter can give. It connects him to us."

Time Skip: Sunday 1 November, 1981; 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey

Petunia's eyes snapped open in the wee hours of the morning. Her sleep-addled mind immediately cleared as her hearing picked up the sounds of conversation happening out front. She shook Vernon awake, "Someone's out front. I think they're wizards."

Instantly awake, both crept to the window and listened. Down below was none other than Albus Dumbledore and the woman Lily had once identified as Minerva McGonagall, her former Head of Gryffindor House.

"Are the rumors true, Albus?" Minerva worriedly asked.

"I'm afraid so, Professor. The good and the bad."

"And the boy?"

"Hagrid is bringing him," Albus replied.

Vernon shared a worried glance with his wife and whispered in her ear, "Something bad must've happened." She agreed and quietly motioned him to silence.

"Do you think it's wise to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?" Minerva pressed.

"Ah, Professor. I would trust Hagrid with my life."

A rumbling motor sound in the distance grew louder as the two professors (and the two Dursleys) looked up to see a flying motorcycle coming down from the sky. It skidded to a halt and a large man with shoulder-length black hair and a beard took off his goggles. "Professor Dumbledore, sir. Professor McGonagall," he rumbled.

"No problems, I trust; Hagrid?"

"No, sir. Little tyke fell asleep just as we were flying over Bristol (Petunia frowned at hearing that) Here, try not to wake him. There you go." Hagrid handed a baby wrapped in a bundle of blankets over to Dumbledore who moved under their porch and out of hearing range. It was a few minutes later before Hagrid returned and flew away on the motorcycle. The two professors walked out to the middle of the driveway and stared at the house for a moment before disappearing with a crack of noise.

Petunia bolted for the stairs and wrenched open the door. There at her feet was none other than her nephew, Harry! "Oh, Harry..." She picked him up and carried him inside, never noticing the letter that had fallen out of his blanket.

Inside, Vernon fished out a special mirror James had given them in case of an emergency. He tapped the button and spoke, "Remus Lupin."

The mirror fuzzed a bit before resolving to show the scarred and somewhat tired face of one of James' best friends. "Vernon? What happened?"

Vernon's face fell, "The worst. James and Lily are either dead or missing. We don't know. That headmaster of yours dropped Harry off on our doorstep without notifying us. If it hadn't been for Petunia, we might not have found the lad until the next morning. I need you to get a hold of Sirius then head over to the Potter cottage to see what you can find out. After that, both of you come here."

Remus scrubbed his face with a free hand. "If Sirius knows, he's not going to be easy to deal with."

Vernon shook his head, "Stun his arse if you have to. Something's telling me that whatever idiocy he's got roaming around in his mind, ain't going to end well for him. You remember our address?" Remus answered affirmatively then signed off. Vernon joined his wife in the kitchen where she was examining Harry. "What'd you find?"

"He's got a wicked looking scar on his forehead but no other injuries that I can find. I'm worried that he's still sleeping despite all that has happened."

"Magical charm to keep children asleep, you suppose?"

She bobbed her head, "That's possible. Did you get a hold of Remus?"

"Just now. He's going to go round up Sirius then both will come here."

Petunia sat down, one hand still holding Harry's. "Something that Hagrid fellow said that doesn't make sense. James and Lily lived in Somerset. Somerset's south of Bristol; why would Hagrid need to fly over there to end up here?"

Vernon didn't know, "Maybe someone told him to follow the M4 to keep it simple?"

She stared back down at the sleeping toddler, "Maybe."

Thirty minutes later...

A crack of noise in the backyard heralded the arrival of two men, one of whom slumped to the ground unconscious. Vernon went to investigate and jokingly quipped, "A bit late in the evening to be that sloshed."

The other man waggled his hand, "I think you underestimate the levels in which this idiot will go to get drunk when properly motivated. It's a wonder he's still alive after the amount of booze he's consumed over the years. Vernon, it's good to see you both even under these circumstances." He shook Vernon's hand. "Where do you want him?" He pulled his wand and levitated Sirius' limp form off the ground.

Vernon snorted at the sight, "Follow me." He led Remus into the living room and pointed to an armchair. Remus dropped Sirius off and stowed his wand. "You're just going to let him sleep off whatever he's drunk?"

"I did as you suggested and stunned him. Fool was haring off to track down Peter." Remus growled as he entered the kitchen where he greeted Petunia.

Petunia's smile was fierce, "I don't think you'll need to worry about Peter trying to escape. James told us about a little-known secret about being a Secret Keeper."

Accepting a glass of water, Remus cocked an eyebrow up, "Oh?"

"He said that buried within the enchantments and vows is a clause that if someone willingly gives up the Secret to the enemy, then that Keeper shall be stripped of his or her Magic permanently."

Remus nearly choked on the water, "That means then we don't have to worry about Pete hiding away in his Animagus form! He's no better off or safe than a garden-variety muggle!"

"Exactly," There was a fire in Petunia's answer; one that gave Remus a shiver, Lily gave answers like that whenever she got the upper-hand on someone.

"Did you stop by the Potter's cottage on your way here?" Vernon asked.

Remus shook his head, "Didn't have the time. Sirius was putting up a fight and I needed to get him here before he did something stupid."

Vernon put down his glass and stood up, "Then you and I need to get there as quickly as possible before anyone gets the bright idea to ransack the place." Remus agreed and took him by the arm before apparating out. Petunia sighed and went to go check on her own son.

When the two men returned, they were burdened by the addition of both James and Lily. Vernon dropped a plush toy Remus had used as a temporary Portkey as he gently lowered Lily onto the couch. James was laid down next to her on the floor. Petunia broke down at the sight of her unresponsive sister. "Lily!"

Vernon scooped her up, "She's still alive, Pet."

"What??"

"James and Lily are both still alive even though neither are responding to our voices. It's like they've been paralyzed or something. We got them and some other items out of the house before anyone else could poke their noses in. As we were leaving, I did notice that Dumbledore fellow looking for something. There was something about the expression on his face...it was almost triumphant in a way."

Petunia waved that off for the time being while she checked on her sister. "Remus, who do you know and trust to come help with the magical medical thing?"

Lips pursing, he sent off a Patronus. "I sent that to Poppy Pomfrey. She's the school's healer and thoroughly trustworthy. She'll mos..." He was interrupted by the sight and sound of the fireplace roaring to life and a head appearing in the flames. "Ah, Madam Pomfrey! Perfect timing."

"Remus? What happened?"

Vernon knelt down, "I think it would be best if you came through, ma'am."

"Stand back, then." The fire grew a touch larger as Poppy's spinning body emerged from the flames. She dusted herself off and immediately began casting charms on Remus who stayed her hand and pointed to the unconscious forms of James and Lily.

Poppy's eyes grew large; she quickly crossed the room and started running those diagnostics again. "They're alive but trapped in their minds. I don't have the ability to do anything about it here. I would recommend you transfer them straight to Saint Mungo's immediately."

Remus stuck his head in the fire and called out a new address. He stepped back just in time for a quartet of orderlies and another Healer to emerge. "Over there, James and Lily Potter. Both were attacked by persons unknown." Better to keep the Dark Lord's name out of things right now.

The Healer acknowledged Poppy and ran her own scans. "Hmm, that's strange. Okay, load these two up and take them to a private room for Spell Damage. Poppy, I'll call you if and when we learn what happened. Good evening, all of you." She followed the orderlies back through the fire.

Petunia slumped on the couch before straightening up again, "Oh, would you be able to lift a sleeping spell from a toddler?"

Poppy slowly nodded, "Of course." She was surprised to see infant Harry still sleeping on the kitchen table. She removed the spell and smiled at the tyke as he woke up. "Hi there! Who are you?"

"Hawwy." Harry burbled sleepily. "Mama? Dada?"

Remus appeared and took the boy in his arms, "Mama and Dada are sleeping, Harry." He made snoring noises that caused the toddler to giggle. "You want to see Padfoot? Padfoot was being a moody mongrel." He made grumping noises which just set Harry off again in a torrent of more giggles and mimicry.

One moment Sirius was all set to hunt down the traitor, then next he felt himself being tackled by a familiar scent and presence. A pudgy hand smacked him repeatedly on the face. "OW! I'm up! I'm up! Pup?" His bleary eyes focused on the sight of a broadly grinning Harry. He grabbed the boy and hugged him close, "I'm so sorry Harry! Your mum and dad..."

"...are at Saint Mungo's, Sirius." Remus' voice penetrated Sirius' panicked mind.

The black-haired man turned to see the others staring at him with a myriad of expressions from Poppy's bewilderment to Vernon's amusement. "Say that again? What happened?"

Vernon went to retrieve something stronger leaving Petunia to fill them all in. "Brace yourselves, it's one hell of a tale."

A couple of hours later...

Harry had fallen asleep again and was put down in with Dudley, Petunia and Vernon's son. Sirius was on his third cup of tea (Vernon wisely reasoned that alcohol wasn't a good idea with how stressed out Sirius was), while Remus and Poppy were quietly discussing plans for the future. Petunia had remembered the Book and went to go get it.

"Sirius? Were you keyed in to this?" She held up the front of the Book. Sirius' eyes brightened at the sight of it. "Oh good. I figured, we might be able to write to James and let him know about what happened."

Sirius shook his head, "It won't do us any good. It'll just create a new timeline."

"Damn, I forgot about that," she pouted.

Poppy gasped, "What about the Longbottoms? They went into hiding the same time and for the same reason that James and Lily did."

Bobbing his head in agreement, "Good point. Where's a quill?" Petunia handed him a pen instead. He wrote on the first page: 'James Charlus Potter (b. March 27, 1960 Time: 2:00pm Date: 26 October 1981)'

Nothing happened for a couple of minutes before James' distinctive handwriting appeared. 'Padfoot? What happened?'

"You and Lily were attacked on Halloween. I need you to get word out to the Longbottoms to prepare to repel invaders. Peter sold you out, leading the Noseless Bastard straight to your door."

'Understood. We'll talk later. Prongs out.'

Sirius let out a heavy breath. "Done. With any luck, James will be able to alter things enough that the Longbottoms' survival will still be a part of this timeline."

Vernon snorted lightly, "No matter how many times I see magic in action, it always still amazes me."

"But we were told that sending back strong enough information about the future will generate a new timeline," Petunia spoke up.

"That's for things that have already happened. As of right now, the Longbottoms haven't been attacked so their chances are still locked into fifty-fifty. If you'd sent that information back to James after their attack, then the timeline split would've taken effect."

Time Skip

It had been a tumultuous week. James and Lily had been admitted to Saint Mungo's for suspected spell damage. The Healers were at a loss as to which spell was responsible so the pair were moved to the long-term care ward where they'd be safe and secure. Thanks to the warning from James, the Longbottoms managed to hold off Bellatrix Lestrange, her husband and brother-in-law, and Barty Crouch Jr until the Aurors arrived. All four Death Eaters were subdued and carted off to await their trials.

That Monday, Sirius turned himself into the Aurors to give testimony that he'd only been a decoy in the plot to keep the Potters safe. He provided Unspeakable-certified memories that showed the real Secret Keeper had been Peter Pettigrew and that it was Albus Dumbledore who'd presided over the ritual.

Master Auror Alastor Moody was the case agent (as well as being Sirius' boss). He scowled at what he'd learned. "Albus has been dropping hints that you were the one that betrayed the Secret. The fact that he was the one who led the ritual puts paid to that lie. It begs the question why he would insinuate that you were responsible in the first place."

"Who knows," Sirius scoffed, "That man can't go to the loo without needing a complicated and convoluted plan."

Alastor's scarred face stretched as he smirked. "Aye, that's true. How're the Longbottoms doing?"

"Shaken, but they'll live. The Healer's mentioned that Frank will always have a bit of a tremor in his right hand from now on."

"Okay, now we need to track down the rat. Any ideas where we might be able to find him?"

Sirius' face darkened, "Not off-hand, but you don't have to worry about him trying to get away magically. Lily's sister, Petunia revealed something that James told her about the enchantments within the Secret Keeper ritual. If they reveal the Secret willingly to the enemy, they lose their magic permanently. Right now, Peter's no better than a muggle. He can't even see the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron anymore."

Alastor made a note to look into that. "Vicious, I like it. So what's your next step?"

"I'm going to head down to the Records Department and make sure Albus hasn't done anything 'clever' then Remus and I are going to spend some time with our family."

Ministry Records Department...

Just as Sirius was turning the corner, he spotted Albus exiting the very place he was heading to. Carefully staying out of sight, he was witness to the same self-satisfied expression on Albus' face that Vernon had mentioned seeing earlier at Godric's Hollow. "What are you planning, you conniving bastard?"

Once Albus disappeared up the lift, Sirius made his way into the department's lobby. "Hi, I need to verify my guardianship status to Harry James Potter."

The clerk frowned, "The Chief Warlock was just in here doing the same. He spoke with my department head briefly then showed me an official Declaration that indicated that he was the Potter Regent and Magical Guardian of the parents and child. Here." He presented the file to Sirius who quickly read it.

"This is a Declaration that I, Albus too many middle names Dumbledore...blah, blah, blah Leader of the Light my arse...utterly trustworthy, yeah right...since there is no Potter alive who can act as Potter Regent, I assume custody of James and Lily Potter, who are in a vegetative state, and their son Harry, who is one year old. I shall assume whatever powers are necessary to care for James, Lily, and Harry. Over my dead body, you sanctimonious bastard. This has got to be a forgery. When did the Wizengamot vote on this?"

The clerk's eyes narrowed as he checked his ledger, "That's odd, I don't see any mention of them sitting in session since the last gathering six months ago. Give me a moment. You can take a seat over there."

When the clerk returned, he was accompanied by the Department Head, Joseph Batton. "I cannot change anything. Albus Dumbledore is the Potter heir's Magical Guardian." This was said in a slight monotone voice and glassy-eyes; something that Sirius immediately picked up on. He surreptitiously cast a spell that caused Batton to glow a pale green then a stunning spell to knock the man out. It was a testament of the clerk's awareness and training that he didn't squawk, just merely called for an Auror and a cursebreaker. "By the way, I checked on the Potter Will just in case, but the magic of the filing room automatically destroyed it once the Declaration was filed."

The two requested personnel arrived, took stock of the situation, and removed the spells on the Department Head. Batton shook his head to clear the cobwebs and peered curiously at those around him. "Wha...what happened? Where's Albus? The last I knew, he'd stopped in to chat about a new ward of his."

Sirius growled. "That tears it! Auror Stimpson, I want to press charges against Albus Dumbledore for illegally attempting to file a Declaration of Intent on James, Lily, and Harry Potter."

The Auror held his hand out for the Declaration, "Agreed. I'll take this and get an investigation started." When he returned to the DMLE, he stopped by his boss' office, "Director Crouch? You're going to want to see this." He never saw the distinctive knobbly wand aimed at him from under an invisibility cloak.

Saturday 7 November, 1981; Dursley Residence

Petunia was writing in the Book that morning to ask Lily for some tips on how to raise a rambunctious magical child. "I just managed to get him down for a nap, but how do you wrangle a wizard child when he throws a tantrum and somehow gets his toys to fly about the room?"

'Ho! I usually just distract him with something shiny that makes noise. If the weather's good, I'll take him outside and let him play in a mud puddle until he's tired out. How're things going there?'

"Still no word on what caused your coma. Healers are still working on finding the cause. The Longbottoms are fine, just a little shaken from the attack. Alice has promised to stop by in the next couple of days to visit. She'll bring Neville so Harry and Dudley can play together. We've decided that all three boys should see each other on a regular basis. Uh, oh! Sirius and Remus are moving in together into a house just up the street from us. The story they're going with is Sirius is a live-in caretaker for Remus who's suffering from a blood disease called 'Paroxysmal nocturnal hemoglobinuria (PNH)'."

'Sounds painful. Remus is alright with it?'

"It was his idea. Common symptoms include extreme fatigue, anemia, abdominal pain, chest pain, and shortness of breath. He's already done the research on it so if anyone asks questions about why no one's ever heard of it, he can quote facts and not run the risk of getting caught in a lie."

'That's the Remus we all know and love. That disease unfortunately sounds like it was tailor-made for him and should be easy to explain away the conditions of lycanthropy.'

Vernon came ambling into the kitchen bearing Dudley and Harry under each arm. "Bomber to target, locked on and sighted. Lunch away!" He made whistling noises as he swiftly dropped Dudley into his mother's laughing embrace. He switched Harry's position and held onto the boy. "This one's mine. I've always wanted a Harry sandwich. Num, num, num!" He peppered Harry's face with kisses causing the boy to squirm and squeal in baby laughter from the assault.

Monday 9 November, 1981

When she got home one evening, Petunia was assaulted by the screaming noise that only an excited toddler could create.

“MAAMMAAA!!!!!”

Feeling emboldened, she decided to play along, “DUUUDDDLEY!!!”

“MAMA!”

“DUDLEY!”

This went on for a couple of minutes before Dudley decided it was no longer fun and ran out of the hallway, all the while giggling like mad. Shaking her head in amusement, Petunia dropped her purse off on the credenza and followed the shrieking menace that was her son into the kitchen. She spotted her baby boy reaching for a pot that was sitting on the counter and raced to intercept.

“No, Dudley! No pot. Here, bang on this instead,” she gently admonished while handing him a plastic mixing bowl. Dudley scowled for a moment before accepting the brightly colored plastic bowl and began pounding a rendition of something only he knew what. Shaking her head in bemusement, Petunia looked around to see where Harry was but didn’t see him anywhere nearby.

“Harry? Harry, where are you?” she called out, getting a little bit frantic when he didn’t respond.

She looked high and low, thinking he might’ve been hiding behind one of the lower pantry doors when she heard a quiet whisper of an adult male voice and the light giggle of a toddler. Taking a deep breath and letting it out in an amused sigh, Petunia walked past the cupboard under the stairs; all the while purposely ignoring the fact that the door was slightly ajar and she could see Harry’s foot sticking out.

“Hmmm, I wonder where Harry could be?” she mused out loud to another burst of giggles, “I can’t seem to find him. Did he turn invisible?” More giggles. She reached out for the cupboard’s doorknob and yanked open the door. Simultaneously, both she and Harry yelled ‘Boo!’ at each other before Petunia grabbed Harry, pulling him in to give a raspberry on his neck and cheek. He squealed and squirmed in excitement before managing to wrest himself free of the ‘kissy monster.’ Petunia let him go as she stood up to face her husband who had stood there the entire time with a laughing smirk on his face.

“Prat, what kind of example does this set for our son when you go hiding while he’s trying to pull pots off the counter,“ she mock-glared at him before melting into a warm smile and giving her husband a kiss on the cheek as well.

Vernon laughed as he wrapped his arms around her waist, “Awww, there’s no harm in helping Harry pull a prank or two. Keeps him happy and busy,” he frowned then, “but you’re right that I should’ve kept a closer eye on Dudley. I didn’t know that he was going to attempt something dangerous.”

Petunia kept an eye on Harry as he scampered off towards the living room where they kept a small toy chest and began to rummage around looking for something in particular. Giving a yelp of happiness, he pulled out a stuffed dragon and a plastic shark before plopping down and playing.

Vernon entered the living room and handed his wife a glass of juice and a napkin wrapped blueberry muffin. She glanced at it before raising her eyes and quirking a puzzled eyebrow at him. Shrugging, he said that dinner wouldn’t be for another while and that this would take the edge off without being too filling and plus, it was healthy-ish. Chuckling, Petunia just shook her head before sipping the juice and breaking off and eating bits of the muffin. Gesturing to where the boys were, she inquired as to how their day was with only Vernon in supervision. With a hand over his heart, he gave a mock exclamation of surprise and hurt that his wife would think so lowly of him that he couldn’t handle two toddler boys for an afternoon alone.

Grinning, Vernon picked up the tale of their day. “Seriously though, things were fine. Sirius showed up just after you left and we took the boys to the park and let them run wild for a while. Then we had lunch at McDonald’s before deciding to head to that new children’s gymnasium and play place over in Dorking.”

“Dorking? Bit far to drive over there, isn’t it?”

“Aye, normally but Sirius found a magical place that allows for floo travel so we did that. Have I mentioned how much I love magical travel?”

Petunia grinned in response, “Only every time it’s brought up."

"Oh, before I forget; Sirius found a letter addressed to you in the mud behind the bushes. I don't know how it ended up there but Sirius said it was a good thing you or I never opened it."

"Bespelled?" She gasped.

He nodded solemnly, "Yeah, according to Sirius; there were spells designed to make us resent Harry's presence, growing stronger over time. I'm glad that whatever forces caused it to slip out of Harry's blanket when you found him otherwise we might've gone dark and made the boy sleep in the cupboard under the stairs or something."

Time Skip

The march of time progressed as it had for countless millennia and the world continued apace. Vernon had gotten that promotion he’d been working towards and was now Regional Manager for Grunnings Drills. He had a lovely corner office on the third floor of the company’s London office as well as a secretary. Despite the efforts of the local pub and eateries through their usual fare and advertising, Vernon was determined to maintain a healthy weight thanks to many an afternoon spent with his magical and mundane friends as they practiced and played football and Quidditch. Though he was unable to fly on a broom without another magical person, he’d taken up the role of Announcer as well as Physical Trainer. He’d introduced the magically raised to the benefits of getting in weight training and aerobics as well as endurance running and it showed in their game practices.

When Harry'd turned two, he was taken to the Great Ormond Street Hospital in London to undergo a bit of plastic surgery to get that ugly lightning bolt scar removed. When asked by the surgeon why Vernon felt it was necessary, he replied, "People were talking. I don't want my nephew to be saddled with an ugly scar that'll get him and us looked down on. If I have the means to make my family whole, I'll spend whatever it takes." As it turned out, Vernon didn't have to pay much out of pocket. Sirius insisted on paying half of the cost of the procedure. So it was on a Wednesday morning, Harry was given an anaesthetic which knocked him out. The surgery lasted about two hours and left him with a few stitches. When Harry was brought home, Poppy was waiting to remove the stitches and apply magical healing. "All done. Now, no one will be able to say he ever had that scar."

Petunia had written to her sister who got in contact with her Unspeakable friend about the procedure. "I get this feeling every now and then that there was something trapped under the scar tissue, but I can't put my finger on what it was. It just felt...evil. If your contact can get there before it's incinerated maybe they can study whatever it is."

Sirius Black had floated around aimlessly for a while, unsure as to what he wanted to do with his time outside of school. He had tried a few different paths but none seemed to really catch and hold his attention. It wasn’t until he was working on his latest motorcycle acquisition that he realized that he not only enjoyed being a mechanic but was also very good at it. As a result of a conversation with his friends and family, he got a job as a mechanic apprentice in a local shop. He kept his magical ability quiet for the most part while on the job though there were a few instances where he would occasionally use it to get a stubborn part to cooperate.

Remus surprised everyone by buying a bookshop that was being put up for sale by the owner who'd gotten too old to properly maintain it. He cleaned it up, repainted the walls, decorated the ceiling to look like the night sky complete with glowing constellations and a couple of shooting stars (easily explained as a hidden light source.) There were luxuriously padded chairs and a table to hold children story times or a lecture. Petunia immediately fell in love with the place and offered to help out whenever he needed to take a break during the full moons.

Petunia kept up a correspondence with her sister via the Book, spending hours telling her all about Harry's developmental progress as well as the highs and lows of raising a magical child, especially one as powerful as Harry. "We were doing our shopping yesterday and he'd gotten it into his mind that the carrots were yucky. He got a mulish look on his face, gave an unhappy grunt, and before I could react; managed to make the entire display including the stand, all disappear! It was all I could do to get out of the aisle before someone noticed." Lily's scratchy writing indicated she was laughing. "It's not funny! I've never been so scared that we'd be found out by the Aurors or someone. Then on top of that, when we get home, that little insufferably adorable monster somehow duplicated the Cadbury chocolates I'd bought. I don't know how long they'll last or if they're even still edible, but now we're stuck with several hundred purple-foil wrapped Dairy Milk bars!"

A new neighbor attracted their attention about three months after Harry had been dumped at the Dursleys. Remus recognized the woman immediately, "Arabella Figg. She's a batty old Squib who breeds kneazles in her home. Place usually stinks to high heaven with cat urine and boiled cabbage. She and her now-late husband used to run odd jobs for Dumbledore back during the war. The fact that she's here cannot be good."

"What should we do then?" Vernon wondered. "Report her to the authorities for illegal animal breeding?"

Sirius shook his head and stroked his chin thoughtfully, "No, that'd just get lost with a bit of magic and possible alert Albus that his spy had been detected which should've been 'impossible for two muggles.' Moony, I'm thinking we ought to welcome our new neighbor with a spot of tea then a careful investigation of her property while she's taking a nice long nap."

The two Marauders stopped by Arabella's place to install some monitoring charms and to 'interrogate' the woman about whatever her mission was. Apparently, she was there as a favor to Albus to keep an eye on whoever might stop by in case they were wizards trying to kidnap Harry and if they were, to alert Albus as soon as she could, as well as sending in monthly reports of what she'd observed or overheard.

"Just like Albus to fob off his responsibility to do the dirty work onto someone else while he locked himself away in that ivory tower of his," Sirius groused after they'd obliviated Arabella of her memories of their presence and the conversation that had taken place. "When was the last time you know of when he actually did anything other than taking credit from someone else's hard work?"

Remus quietly agreed with his griping friend; then moved to add in another enchantment to the secret warding they were installing, "I'm going to put in a compulsion that all reports destined for Albus go to us first so we can keep tabs on what he knows."

"Don't forget to have it wipe her memory of doing that."

"I've got it. What about a compulsion to stop stinking up the place with cat piss and cabbage?"

Sirius laughed, "I doubt that's even possible. I vaguely remember a combination that forced a person to dislike the taste of something. Do either of you remember which array that was?"

Remus dusted off his hands as he stood up, "No, but I'll check our notes when we get home."

Thursday 31 July, 1986

Today was Harry's sixth birthday and he was going to make the most of it. Once he'd gotten up and put through his morning routine, he waited impatiently for Neville and his parents to arrive via floo. When the fireplace activated, he grinned widely at the sight of his best friend stumbling out of the fire, landing with a 'whumpf!' on the floor. "Nice landing, Nev. I give you a six out of ten."

"Ha...ha, Harry." Neville grumped. "Help me up." Once on his feet, he dusted himself off and scowled at the floo. "I don't understand why it's always your fireplace that I keep falling over. I never have that problem anywhere else."

Alice had already come through and heard her son's complaint. "Neville, sweetie? Do you see where the bricks are slightly raised off the floor? All other floos don't have that because those locations have stone floors or are enchanted to prevent sparks."

"Oh."

Harry grabbed his friend's arm and started dragging him towards the front door, "Come on, we've got a birthday to celebrate!"

Sirius had rented a space at the local park complete with an inflatable bouncy castle! Harry was allowed to invite his non-magical friends from the neighborhood and his primary school. His magically-raised friends were reminded often not to mention anything magical in front of the mundane kids or their parents. Not that it was really needed of course; the mundane parents understood that sometimes Harry would say something that sounded like he was heavily into fantasy role-playing and novels. They’d just shrug it off as 'Harry's just being a kid' and move onto the next topic of discussion.

“Harry! Wait up for me!” yelled Neville as he raced towards his best friend who was impatiently waiting to get into the inflatable bouncy castle. Dudley was sitting on the ground next to him tugging his shoes off.

“Come on, slowpoke! I haven’t got all day,” Harry grumbled loudly but without any heat behind his words. Neville slid to a stop and kicked off his trainers and climbed in behind the messy-haired birthday boy; Dudley seconds behind him as well.

As they bounced and wrestled with each other, Vernon kept an eye on them to make sure they were playing safely. The three were practically inseparable and it didn’t make one ounce of difference that Dudley wasn’t magical while they were. Pretty soon, others joined them including fellow six year old Susan Bones, niece of Senior Auror Amelia Bones (she'd been vetted by Sirius to not spread news of Harry's location and general well-being to the papers which would've alerted Albus that things weren't going according to his script), and her friend Hannah Abbott.

“Hey Harry, can we join you in there?” Susan called out.

“Sure! Come on in!” he yelled back as he performed a mid-bounce somersault to the applause of the other boys. The two girls pulled their shoes off and climbed into the castle and joined in on the fun.

Saturday, 11 July 1987

Harry was approaching his seventh birthday when Petunia felt he was old enough to learn about The Book. She'd already discussed it with James and Lily who both agreed so she sat him down at the kitchen table and gestured to it. "This is a very special journal, Harry," she explained. "With it, you'll be able to write to anyone in your family on your father's side."

"Anyone?" Harry inquired wide-eyed.

Petunia nodded, "Just write their name on the top page and it'll connect with them. There's an index and instructions on the inside cover listing every Potter from the beginning, plus the dates of their lifespan. If you want to write to your mum, you'll have to write to your dad first. Make sure you use the correct date, otherwise it'll be confusing on their end."

"How...I mean, why would it be confusing?"

She smirked teasingly, "Well, what do you think Lily's reaction would be if you asked a question about her marriage to James, but she was only eleven years old?" Petunia smiled sagely when she saw the dawning understanding in her nephew's face. "Now, the reason why I haven't shown you this before now is because you'll soon receive a letter from Hogwarts when you turn eleven years old and it's better for you to be forewarned about the ins and outs of the school and that society. I know that Sirius, Remus, and the Longbottoms have regaled you with stories, but there are some things that only your parents can tell you, especially with how it relates to your family."

She pulled out a pen and handed over to him. "Here's the date I want you to use. It'll connect you to your parents a week before their attack. From their perspective, you're still only a toddler so don't worry if your mum asks you some odd questions."

"Okay." He wrote down 'James Charlus Potter (b. March 27, 1960 Time: 2:00pm Date: 26 October 1981)'

'Who is this? I don't recognize the handwriting.'

"Hi, dad. This is Harry. Aunt Petunia gave me permission to write to you. Am I really only a toddler there?"

'Harry? Wow, um yeah...hold on a minute, let me get your mother. You know what's funny about this writing to me in the past? You already wrote to an earlier me when I was sixteen and teased me about marrying someone else instead of your mum.'

"Wow, really? That's weird because I haven't done that yet."

'Hi, Harry my baby boy. This is your mum writing now. Oh, how does it feel to know that you're almost seven years old while I'm looking at a fifteen month old version of you right now?'

Harry gave Petunia a strange look, "It feels weird. I just saw you a couple of days ago in your room at Saint Mungo's but you didn't react. What's going on there?"

'Not that much. We're preparing for Halloween and some other things. I've got the cutest costume for you to wear! It's a cartoon pumpkin outfit with an adorable cap that looks like the top from the pumpkin complete with a little leaf attached to the stem.'

Harry's face pinked while Petunia chortled with laughter. "I've got the picture too. She sent it to me the day after we finished writing a couple years ago."

"That's making my head hurt. She sent it after you wrote to each other but it was a couple of years ago but before they were attacked..." Petunia patted him consolingly on the shoulder and told him not to think too hard on it.

'So, Harry? Who's your best friend in the world?'

"Neville Longbottom. He's funny and wicked smart when it comes to plants! It drives his grandmother up the wall, she wants him to be more like his father but Uncle Frank put a stop to that right away and said that if Neville wants to be good with plants, then he will be. There was a whole big argument about it, according to Neville."

'Any cute girls you... James! He's only seven!'

"I met Susan Bones and her friend Hannah Abbott a couple of times. They were at my sixth birthday party. They're nice even if they're a bit weird. Hannah's obsessed with dolls and will talk about them forever if you let her. Susan's kind of quiet but Uncle Remus thinks that's because she's shy being Aunt Amelia's niece and all. Is Uncle Sirius or Remus there? I want to mess with their heads as a prank."

'The Bones and Abbotts are good people. I want you to remain their friend, Harry especially when you get to Hogwarts. Being who her aunt is, I'm not surprised that Susan would be a bit shy. Even in this moment, Amelia Bones is a force to be reckoned with and no doubt she'll end up as Director of the DMLE someday. The Abbotts, while not a political powerhouse like our family or even Sirius', are solid merchant-class people who know a bunch of economic secrets that will help you down the road when you get old enough. -JP (I'm using my initials so you know who's writing.)'

'Good idea, James. As for Sirius and Remus, honey; they're not here. Remus is currently overseas working and Sirius is laying low. What prank did you have in mind? -LP'

"I dunno. Tell him something that I did something to his motorcycle that would change his hair color to sparkly pink if he drives faster than the posted speed limit." Petunia snorted in amusement when she read that.

'Ha! That would serve him right! The number of times I've yelled at him to slow down to not attract the muggles' attention. -LP'

'I think that's a fine idea, Harry. I know just the charm to use too. -JP'

The doorbell rang prompting Petunia to go see who it was. Harry could hear her burst out into laughter a moment later. When she returned, she was accompanied by none-other than Sirius who was sporting sparkly pink hair! Harry took one look and also started cracking up with laughter. "Wow, it worked!"

"Pup? Care to share with the class?" Sirius looked at him oddly.

Harry pointed at The Book. "I just wrote to mum and dad about turning your hair a sparkly pink if you drove faster than the speed limit."

Shaking his head in bemusement, Sirius ended the charm then took the pen and wrote, "Nice job, Prongs. The hair charm still works even after all this time."

'Padfoot? Oh, this just gets better! I'm surprised you never caught on earlier. I must've put a timer on it or something. -JP'

After a few more rounds of catching up, Harry finally signed off. He gave Petunia a hug, "Thank you, Aunt Petunia. I have my parents back even if I can only write to them."

Saturday 27 May, 1989

Saturday morning, a time when all within 4 Privet Drive should've either been sleeping in or quietly playing their toys. This was the scene Vernon fervently wished was happening instead of him lumbering down the stairs to answer the door. His intended growl of, "What?" died in his throat when he spotted a pair of police constables and someone in a professional looking suit standing on his porch. "Uh, may I help you?"

"Mr. Vernon Dursley? I am Christine Wallace from Children's Social Care. We're here to investigate reports that a child under your care is being forced to sleep in a boot cupboard under the stairs."

From the top of the stairs, Vernon heard Petunia let out a guffaw of laughter. "I told you this would happen, Vernon! This is what you get for letting the boys describe their 'Cave of Awesome'."

Vernon dispiritedly waved the three officials inside and led them to the cupboard door. "When you get a look in, please remember that this was the boys' idea. I merely helped with the construction." He opened the door to reveal an ordinary looking cupboard complete with access to a water heater, a small shelving unit with boxes and a couple of bottles, and various other ordinary bits.

The social worker was not impressed but stopped short of her accusation when Vernon reached in and tugged on a box of Borax washing powder. A click was heard as a hidden panel slid out of the way revealing another room further in. Vernon gave them a sheepish smirk, "My boys and I love the Batman comics so they 'pestered' me into making a hidden room. It's actually a space partitioned off in the garage.

Jaws dropping at the incredibly decorated space within, Miss Wallace eased her way in to take some pictures while the two constables took turns to get a peek. One of the constables chuckled and asked if Vernon was available for hire. Miss Wallace returned with an approving nod of her head. "I think we can safely call this a simple case of misunderstanding. Thank you for your time, and I apologize for disturbing your morning, Mr. Dursley."

Once they'd left, Vernon turned on Harry and Dudley who'd appeared at the top of the stairs after hearing the commotion. He waggled his finger at his boys, "As punishment for making me look bad, I'm taking the last of the good cereal and you...need to tell that Granger girl to stop reporting us to the authorities for what she thinks is bad behavior. As a matter of fact, I think it's time to have a meeting with her parents."

'James Charlus Potter (b. March 27, 1960 Time: 8:00am Date: 27 October 1981)' "Hey, dad; I've got a riddle for you."

'What is it?'

"It's a question or statement intentionally phrased so as to require ingenuity in ascertaining its answer or meaning, typically presented as a game but that's not important right now."

'Oh, boo! I saw that movie, stinker. I can't believe I fell for that. What's your riddle?'

"What's the tallest building in the world?"

'I'm guessing it's not the Sears Tower in Chicago, is it?'

"Nope, it's a library. It's the building with the most stories."

'Ha, ha cute. I've got one for you. What's black and white, black and white, black and white then red at the end?'

"I don't know."

'A penguin rolling down a hill then hitting the ground with a splat.'

'James, that's disgusting. Good morning, sweetie. -LP'

'It's a guy thing, Lils. Right, Harry? -JP'

"Totally. Hey, mum I've got a riddle for you too. What grunts like a walrus while trying to put their pants on their head?"

'Silly boy, it's either your cousin or Padfoot. Give me another one. -LP'

"Okay, what do you call a group of enlightened lunatics?"

'Uh...we're not sure. What do you call a group of enlightened lunatics?'

"The Illumin-nutty."

'Your mother is clutching her sides with laughter here. I'm not sure why that would affect her like that. Oh, she just explained who the Illuminati are...cute. -JP'

'Harry? What day is it there? Shouldn't you be in school? -JP'

"It's summer vacation, dad. It's Saturday."

'Which day and year? -LP'

"Uh, 27 May, 1989. Why?"

'No reason, I got turned around for a moment. Oh, your aunt wrote me yesterday about your little adventure with the police and the cupboard under the stairs. -LP'

"But that just happened this morning!"

'Did you forget about the time traveling part of The Book? -LP'

Harry blushed even though his parents couldn't see it. "Oh, right. I forgot."

'It was pretty funny to think about the look on everyone's faces when the punchline was dropped. A hidden room within the house, very clever you know. I wonder if we could use that for this upcoming Halloween. -JP'

"Wouldn't that just create an alternate timeline?"

'Oh...yeah, damn. It's still worth taking a look though. -JP'

'So Petunia was telling me about the Granger family, Harry. I hear that the daughter is a witch. -LP'

"Yeah, Aunt Petunia mentioned that too. She said that she was going to bring Uncles Sirius and Remus with her next time to start getting them introduced to the magical world rather than wait for Hermione's letter to show up. Aunt Petunia says it's wrong to make the muggleborns wait and wonder what's going on with their children until they reach eleven before springing the truth onto them. Her words, by the way."

'That's a good point, and it makes me wonder how many muggleborn children have been hurt or killed by well-meaning parents who called in a priest, had their children committed to mental hospitals, or worse over the years. -LP'

Sunday 30 July, 1989; Surrey Park

Because Harry's birthday would fall on a Monday that year, a day when most adults had to work; it was decided to combine his and Neville's birthday parties. Neither boy minded, it was just another fun day for both. What made this day even more special was the inclusion of Harry's 'bizarre because she's a girl' friend from muggle primary, Hermione Granger.

She shyly greeted both boys after her dad dropped off her and her mum while he went to go park the car. "Hi, Harry. Hi, Neville. Happy birthday."

Harry grinned, the sight of which made her knees weak for some reason. "Hey, Hermione! Glad you could make it. We've got a bunch of fun stuff planned. Come on, I'll show you around." He took her by the hand and led her off.

Mrs. Granger stood there in mute surprise and blankly blinked when Petunia greeted her, "Well, that's a shock. I think that's the first time I've ever seen my daughter interact with someone her own age without getting bossy."

Hermione had an absolutely wonderful time celebrating her friend's birthday (and wasn't that reason to celebrate. She had a real friend, not someone just using her for her homework abilities.) Neither Harry or Neville made fun of her (not even Dudley really meant it, she later realized) and she got to make some tentative friendships with Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott, both of whom would be attending Hogwarts at the same time she would. The group of kids were lounging in the shade under a tree as the party had wound down and the adults were packing things up. "Thank you, Harry for an absolutely wonderful day. I never used to get invited to parties before I met you."

Harry smiled happily, "You're welcome. I don't understand why not though. You got along fine with Susan and Hannah, right?" The other two girls grinned and nodded their heads.

"Hey, you all want to hear a funny story that involved 'Captain Underpants' here?" Neville suddenly interrupted. Both Susan and Hannah burst out into laughter while Harry groaned and begged him to stop. Neville stuck out his tongue and continued anyway. "So a couple of years ago, there was an article that came in the Daily Prophet that exclaimed that Harry Potter is no longer amongst us! Heard pledging to join the Death Eaters as their new leader!"

Hermione frowned, "What's a Death Eater?"

"They're the minions to the Dark Idiot who tried to overthrow the country a few years ago. Dad told us what must've happened is that some wizard must've been passing by the local park we were at and heard Harry stand and announce, "Harry James Potter is no more for my true name is CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS! Defender of plush toys and Deaf Eater of chocolate biscuits! All bow down to my mighty powers!"

Hermione and the others were rolling around, clutching their sides while howling their laughter while Harry went bright red and waggled his fist at his best friend. "Thanks a lot, Longbottom. Fine, I've got one for you about this moron. Neville here was about five when his mum and dad took him into Gringotts. He dressed up as one of the guards complete with a wire wastebasket helmet, a cardboard shield, and a wooden sword plus a bath towel cape. To this day, the Goblins salute him whenever they see him."

Hermione was wheezing from her exertions, "Ow, my sides! I thought the Goblins were rather scary when your aunt took my family and me in to get a vault set up, but you make them sound almost human."

Hannah interjected, "Don't tell them that. They'd probably think it was an insult. Humans haven't always been nice to them even though they run our only bank which is stupid in my opinion. Why anger the people who guard your money?"

"I know, right? But then Uncle Remus has said many times that logic and magic cannot exist at the same time. To have one, you've got to give up the other," Harry sagely recited to the giggles of the others.

Tuesday 12 September, 1989; Dursley Residence

Remus stopped by with some troubling news. "Arabella Figg was killed today crossing the street. According to the police report, she wasn't paying attention to where was walking and got hit by a car."

Petunia gasped, "Oh, that poor woman."

"My worry is that eventually Albus is going to get wind of her untimely death and come investigate."

She pursed her lips in thought, "So what're you going to do?"

Remus shrugged, "I don't know, to tell you the truth."

"Can you adjust the wards to make it seem like she's still around and just injured? Then you can fake her reports to Albus and keep him in the dark."

Remus worked his jaw around as he mulled over that idea. "I think so...Let me get Padfoot in here and see what we can come up with."

"What about including Alice and Frank?"

He shot that down. "No, Albus believes that no one is wise to his plans. If Alice and Frank get involved, that would require a paper trail because they're both still active-duty Aurors despite Frank being on desk work." He pulled out his communication mirror and called Sirius.

When he appeared, Sirius shushed him. "Hang on a moment, I'm still at work." They could see him cast a privacy charm. "There, what's up?" Remus filled him in about what happened to Arabella and Petunia's idea of a work-around. "I like it. I'm kind of busy right now, but I can help when I get home."

"Okay, I'll start working on designing a new schema until then." They gave their goodbyes and signed off. Remus sighed, "I hate it when it's the little things that threaten to destabilize everything."

Petunia patted him on the arm, "It'll work out. The old goat's still thinking that his Grand Plan is working so until he shows up, there's really not much point in worrying."

Time Skip: Wednesday 24 July, 1991; Dursley Residence

That morning, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand new uniform. He'd gotten accepted to attend Smelting's School for Favored Sons, a legacy from Vernon's old private school. Smeltings’ boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren’t looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life. As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn’t believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn’t trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.

"I'm not opposed to maroon in general, but this is taking things a bit far, don't you think?" Harry nudged his aunt.

"How so? I think he looks so handsome."

"It's just hard on the eyes. I get using maroon as a stripe or maybe just a shirt but for the whole uniform?" Harry couldn't explain it better than that then he brightened, "Hermione draws really well and she's said that for the best color combinations, a warm color should be paired with a cool counterpart or a neutral color like white, black, gray, or beige."

Both Vernon and Petunia tried to picture what that would look like. "Interesting. Harry, you've been experimenting with that practice wand, right? Could you alter a spare set of trousers so we can see what that might look like? I'm just curious."

Harry dashed up the stairs to grab the wand he'd gotten as a present from Uncle Frank and a spare set of trousers from Dudley's closet then thundered back down the stairs. He concentrated on what he wanted his magic to do then cast, "Mutata in albis." The original color of denim blue began to pale until it became a basic white. Harry held it in front of Dudley to show the others. Petunia immediately approved. "I like that. Do the others."

Once more, Harry changed the color to black, gray, then beige; each color got murmurs of appreciation from both adults. Vernon made a noise of contentment. "Well, I mean it won't matter for Dudley's uniform since it's the school that makes the final decisions, but I like that."

They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat. “Get the mail, Dudley."

"Make Harry get it."

"Get the mail, Harry."

"Make Aunt Petunia get it," Harry teased his aunt who just rolled her eyes and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon’s sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and — a letter for Harry.

"Harry! Vernon! It came! Harry's letter to Hogwarts!" She yelled from the front door before hurrying back into the kitchen to show it off. "I've been waiting for this moment since you arrived. Where's my pen?"

"Shouldn't I be the one to accept or not?" Harry inquired.

Petunia waved him down. "I want to do it. I've wanted to prank them by sending back a rejection letter."

All three males frowned in confusion. "Pet?" Vernon spoke. "Why? What good would it do?"

"Payback for all the guff they gave me when I dared to beg to join my sister," she growled darkly at the memory.

"I need to go write my parents, I bet they'd love to know about this," Harry suddenly said before he ran back upstairs to his room. When he returned, Petunia had finished writing. He took one look at the message and pinked. "Aunt Petunia!"

She laughed, "Aw, come on! It's funny!" She'd written, 'Harry Potter will not be going if I'm to lose my dinky diddidums squeezy boy for embarrassing cuddle time.' Both Vernon and Dudley were snickering to Harry's embarrassment. She took the letter and headed outside to see if the owl was still in the area. When she returned empty-handed, she ruffled Harry's hair. "It's on its way."

The next day, the residents of 4 Privet Drive were greeted with the arrival of a massive, half-giant man who looked as if he was twice as tall as a normal man and very wide, with shaggy black hair and a beard that hid most of his face, revealing only twinkling black eyes. He had huge hands like dustbin lids and feet as big as baby dolphins, and wore a long, pocket-filled moleskin overcoat. "Blimey, I haven't seen you since you was a baby, Harry."

Vernon suddenly grabbed Harry and brandished a pillow he'd grabbed from the couch. "I demand that you leave at once, sir! You have no right to take away our dearest little nephie-poo!" Harry just let out a long sigh of annoyance and face-palmed himself.

The big man blinked slowly at the display, "Uh...Harry?"

Harry finally managed to extricate himself from his uncle (who ruffled his already messy hair), "My uncle thinks he's being funny. Who are you?"

"Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts. Of course, you know all about Hogwarts."

Harry snapped his fingers, "Oh, right! That's the name of the town's new pig farm, right?" Petunia let out a strangled snort of laughter as she fought to compose herself.

Hagrid gaped at Harry for a moment before letting out his own bark of laughter, "Good one, Harry! You got me going for a moment there." He bent down and whispered (which was still heard by everyone) "Are the muggles treating you alright?"

Harry wrapped his arms around his aunt, "They're the best. I guess you're here because of the rejection letter she sent you?"

Hagrid acknowledged that, "Miner...uh, Professor McGonagall was most confused by that but she had other things to do so the Headmaster sent me to clear things up instead. I'm to take you shopping for your school things."

Vernon glanced at Petunia who turned to head back inside. "Fine with us. We'll get our coats and meet back out here in a few moments."

"Uh, my instructions were to take just Harry. I'm not sure if muggles can even see the Alley."

"Albus said he left us with some jewelry to override the enchantments," Vernon lied easily. Sirius had mentioned Hagrid before and said that the large man thought the old goat shat rainbows out of his arse so would likely believe anything if you included 'Albus said' somewhere in the conversation.

Hagrid beamed, easily believing the lie. "Great man, Dumbledore. Great man. I'll just wait here."

Inside, Vernon went to go get their coats while Harry scribbled off a quick message to his parents. Petunia called Sirius and Remus via the mirror then called the Longbottoms. "If you want to join us, we're leaving now. I suspect we'll be taking a Portkey since I don't know if Hagrid knows anything about the Underground."

Remus couldn't go because he was busy with the bookshop. Sirius promised he'd be there even if he had to confound his boss. Alice and Frank also promised to go since Neville needed his supplies too. "Why don't we meet up at the Leaky in twenty minutes. That ought to be plenty of time."

Harry appeared, "Mum and dad know, they're eager to find out what kind of wand I'll get."

Petunia held up the mirror and replied to Alice's suggestion, "That's a good idea, Alice. We'll see you there. Flower Bed out."

Leaky Cauldron; Charing Cross Road, London

The swirl of Hagrid's portkey dissipated after it deposited the group in an alley close to their destination. He remarked how at ease the adults and Harry were to the effects. "I'd swear that you've used them before." He only got a mysterious smirk in return. He led them past a records shop and a bookshop, Hagrid's eyes widened when Harry waved at Remus and called his name, "Hi, Uncle Remus!"

He led them to the door to the Leaky Cauldron pub and ushered them in. The interior was dark with smudged windows that looked like they'd never been cleaned. The pub's patrons tended to their own business with only the ones closest to the door sparing a brief glance at the newest visitors. The Longbottoms and Sirius arrived moments later and greeted them. Hagrid eyed Sirius oddly, "Why are you here? Didn't Albus tell you to stay away?"

"Despite what the old man told you, I'm Harry's godfather therefore have every right to be there in Harry's life," Sirius argued back. Over the years, Sirius had 'begged Albus' to tell him where Harry'd been stashed away from the magical community but the old man had refused citing privacy concerns for everyone involved.

Neville clapped Harry on the back, "Ready to take Diagon Alley by storm?"

"Ready for the Goblins to embarrass the heck out of you again? Didn't they threaten to hold a parade in your honor?" Harry shot back with a teasing grin.

The bartender greeted Hagrid joyfully, "Ah, Hagrid! Your usual today?"

"Can't right now, Tom. I've got to take young Harry here to get his school supplies."

The whole pub went silent. Tom's eyes widened, "Bless me soul, it's Harry Potter!"

Vernon barked out immediately, "No, it's not! Dammit Petunia, this is why I didn't want to name our son after him. Everyone and their crup is always comparing him to Harry Bloody Potter! Come on, let's get his shopping done and go home." He growled at anyone who dared to get too close and led the charge towards the alley.

When they got into the back courtyard, Hagrid was eyeing Vernon queerly, "Why did you say all that?"

Vernon shook his head and let out a long sigh, "Hagrid, think for a moment. Do you really think Harry would want to be mobbed by the public when all he wants is to get his school supplies? How would you feel if people started doing that to you?" Sirius was still chuckling after seeing the embarrassment of the patrons as they stumbled over themselves to let them pass.

Hagrid had the good graces to blush, even though it was barely visible behind his beard. "Ah, right. Well, let's get the barrier open. To do so, you need to tap your wand on the wall in a clockwise fashion, starting from the indented brick in the middle." He did so then stepped back as the wall melted back to form a passageway. "Welcome, Harry; to Diagon Alley!"

Gringotts

Their first stop was the bank so Harry could be introduced to his account manager (usually it was Petunia, Vernon, or Sirius who'd interacted with the Goblin) and to pick up some money to spend. Hagrid was again hesitant at this change in plans. "Albus said..."

The desk Goblin growled, "Albus Dumbledore has no authority within Gringotts. If Mr. Potter and company wish to speak with his account manager, they shall do so."

So while Hagrid left them to do some Hogwarts' business, Harry et al visited Daggerclaw, the Potter Family Account Manager. "Ah, Mr. Potter! Welcome. It's been a while since I last had a member of your family in my office. Are you ready for the whirlwind shopping experience you're about to have?"

Harry bobbed his head, "I can't wait to get my official wand. I've had practice wands before but they don't always work right."

Daggerclaw first brought out the ledgers and a wooden box. "First things first, you need to understand the finances your parents left you before their unfortunate run-in as well as don the Heir ring. With this ring, it'll allow you to make purchases from the shops here in Diagon Alley as well as Hogsmeade without needing to carry around a sack full of coins. Unfortunately, the magical world isn't up to date and hasn't caught on to the concept of using a credit card as many of our muggleborn patrons wish they had." Harry slipped the ring on and felt the magic bind with his own. He listened carefully to Daggerclaw's instructions about how to read the ledger then accepted a copy to take home with him.

The decision was made to stop by Harry's trust vault, if only to allow the boy to see how much money he had available to him before they returned to the surface.

Ollivander's Wand Shop

Back outside, Hagrid met up with them but begged off to get himself a 'quick pick-me-up.' "I hate them carts. They always make me feel terrible. Tell you what, you go into Ollivander's while I get you a birthday present."

"Okay, thanks Hagrid." Harry was appreciative to the gesture.

As the group entered the shop, Vernon read the sign above which read, 'Ollivander's: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B.C.' He started to say something but held his tongue. Alice caught it and quietly remarked that the family had been in business long before they'd arrived in ancient Britain. Harry pushed open the door and immediately felt the magic hovering in the air. The scent of various woods, cores, and varnishes tickled his nose as he peered around the interior. "Hello?"

"I wondered when I'd be seeing you, Mr. Potter." Both Harry and Neville jumped at the sudden appearance of Garrick Ollivander, the proprietor. "It seems only yesterday that your mother and father were in here buying their first wands." He picked up a seemingly random wand and handed it to Harry, handle first. "Ah, here we are." Harry gave it a wave causing most of the boxes to come flying out and crashing down. Harry and Neville jumped as the former immediately let the wand drop onto the counter.

"Apparently not." Ollivander waved his own wand, setting the shop back to rights. He rummaged around and picked out another wand. "Perhaps this?" A vase shattered the moment Harry took hold of it and gave it a wave. "Tricky customer, no matter. I've yet to fail in finding a perfect match! I wonder..." No sooner after the boy touched it, it exploded in a fiery burst of flame. "Curious..."

"What's curious?" Petunia wanted to know.

"I remember every wand I've ever sold. It just so happens that the phoenix, whose tail feather resided in that wand gave another two feathers. One ended up in a truly light wand I have in the back. The other, well it went to the brother of the wand that gave you that scar."

Harry brushed his hair back showing an unblemished forehead. "What scar?"

Ollivander blinked in shock, he hesitantly reached out but didn't touch. "But...everyone knows that you had a scar. Most curious..." His eyes drifted off into the distance but didn't say anything more. "Perhaps we should try that other wand, yes?" He shuffled into the back then returned with a wand that seemed practically energetic to leap into Harry's hands. "Ten inches long, fairly bendy with a slight taper from grip to tip. It's made from entwined pear and apple wood and has that third phoenix feather I mentioned earlier as its core. This wand is destined for someone warm-hearted, well-respected as well as well-loved and long-lived. Best suited for someone with high ideals and mixes poorly with Dark Magic. An unusual ability to converse with other magical beings or creatures in their own native tongues is often found amongst Apple wand owners."

The moment Harry's fingers curled around the wand grip, there was a supernova of released energy that seemed to proclaim to the heavens that a match had been made. Neville wasn't the only one to applaud his friend. "That was incredible, Harry!"

Ollivander bowed his head, "If there's nothing else?"

"He'll also need a wand holster," Sirius added.

Harry paid for his wand and holster then stepped back to let Neville take his turn. Ollivander eyed him beadily for a moment before shuffling towards the back. "You seem more like a grounded person, Mr. Longbottom. Try this one." He handed Neville a Cherry wood wand with a unicorn hair core. It warmed slightly in his hand, but it just felt lackluster. "Nope. Here, try this one..."

Four wands later, and Neville had found his match. "Chestnut. This is a most curious, multi-faceted wood which varies greatly in its character depending on the wand core, and takes a great deal of color from the personality that possesses it. The wand of chestnut is attracted to witches and wizards who are skilled tamers of magical beasts, those who possess great gifts in Herbology, and those who are natural flyers. However, when paired with dragon heartstring, it may find its best match among those who are overfond of luxury and material things, and less scrupulous than they should be about how they're obtained. The core of your wand, Mr. Longbottom however is striking in that it belongs to the hair of a Dryad. Dryad hair cores are generally associated with nature magic, deep connections to the earth, and sometimes, the ability to blend with specific wand woods like Chestnut."

Neville cradled his wand closely to his chest. "It's perfect."

After leaving Ollivander's, the group ran across Hagrid again. The large man was carrying a bird cage containing the most beautiful Snowy Owl.

Harry's eyes bugged open. "Wow."

Dursley Residence, later

The Longbottoms returned home via the floo, Sirius went back to work, while the Dursleys disappeared to various parts inside. Petunia found Harry talking softly to his new owl. "She's a beauty, Harry. Have you thought of a name?"

"We were just discussing that. I think she's accepted the name of Hedwig." Hedwig hooted proudly and nuzzled her new human on the cheek.

Petunia smiled and gently petted the owl's feathers. "Then Hedwig it is. Heck of a shopping trip, don't you think? Don't forget to write your parents."

Harry shuffled off the bed and grabbed The Book from his desk. 'James Charlus Potter (b. March 27, 1960 Time: 10:00am Date: 28 October 1981)' "I got my wand! And an owl! She's gorgeous. Let me tell you what happened when Hagrid arrived..."

Time Skip: Saturday 31 August, 1991; Dursley Residence

It was the final day of summer vacation. Harry had gotten his trunk packed and readied by the door for the morning rush. Hedwig was out hunting before making her way north. Neville had called and said that he was practically chomping at the bit waiting for the first of September to finally get here. Harry'd called Hermione to see if she was ready too. "Honestly, Harry; I've been waiting since last year after Professor McGonagall showed up to give my family the 'news' as it was that I'm a witch. We'll meet you on the muggle side of King's Cross at 9:30am like we planned. Don't worry."

"I have to worry. Aunt Petunia says it's one of my endearing qualities."

Hermione giggled, "I think she meant 'annoying qualities,' Harry. I've got to go, Hannah said she'd be swinging by today for a last 'Girls only' day before school starts. Susan will be meeting us at the shopping center. Bye!"

Dudley poked his head in Harry's room, "It's not going to be the same without you hanging around, messing up my game."

Harry scoffed, "What game? You never had any game." The two boys wrestled for dominance for a couple of minutes before shoving each other out of the way after hearing Vernon call up to them to come downstairs.

"Now that you're both here, I have some last minute instructions for the pair of you. Dudley, your teachers have all been alerted about your reading problems (he'd been diagnosed with a touch of dyslexia early on) so your form group teacher will work with you as needed. I've also signed you up for extra tutoring after classes so make sure you attend them. Harry, stay out of trouble. I don't care if it's the 'fate of the universe' sort of thing; don't get embroiled in someone else's idiocy. If that headmaster tries to entice you into investigating something or take part in some cockamamie 'grand plan'; run the other way. We nearly lost your parents to that mad old crackpot, I refuse to let you disappear into that madness if I can help it. If things get really bad, hide away and use that mirror Sirius gave you." Both boys solemnly agreed.

Vernon shared a glance with his wife, "Anything else?" She shook her head saying that he'd pretty much covered it. "Alright then. Tomorrow's the big day. Take today to rest because it's about to get crazy."