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Tweek paced back and forth in his private room, his eyes going to the clock for what felt like the hundredth time in the last hour.
His fingers trembled slightly as he took a sip from the disposable coffee cup in his hand.
He took a deep breath, trying to ground himself as much as possible.
He couldn't be anxious and fidgety when his boyfriend, Craig, finally showed up for visitation.
That would only make him even more anxious and fidgety.
Tweek sighed then ran a hand through his shaggy blonde hair.
Despite having taken a shower just a few hours ago, he still didn't feel like he was presentable.
It was hard to feel his best when he - along with every other patient in his ward - were wearing maroon scrub shirts, navy blue scrub pants, and bright yellow grippy socks.
The lack of mirrors didn't help.
It was fine though.
After two weeks of him being admitted, Craig finally got time off work to visit.
The last two weeks had been hard enough without him.
Tweek finished off the rest of his coffee then took a seat on the bed.
He tried sitting still, but couldn't.
His leg bounced rapidly, his fingers tapping on the edge of the mattress.
After a few more minutes, one of the orderlies stepped into his room with a friendly smile. “Looks like you have a visitor today, Tweek.”
Tweek felt his heart flutter in his chest at the sight of Craig walking in behind them.
Craig was only a bit taller than Tweek with raven black hair and dark brown eyes.
He looked just as stoic as ever.
Tweek gave him a wobbly smile, hoping it looked more natural than it felt. “H-Hi, Craig.”
Craig walked in and sat down beside him, setting a green gift bag down on the floor next to his feet. “Hey babe.” He looked around the room for a moment, taking it in.
The room was completely bare with the exception of the twin-sized bed and a plastic shelf to put clothes in.
Tweek had asked if he could at least hang up some of the drawings they did during art therapy, but the answer was no.
The room had no personal touch to it outside of the multiple empty coffee cups sitting on top of the plastic drawer.
Coffee cups that Tweek was now feeling self conscious of.
“Uh…sorry my room's a mess.” He slid his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it slowly. “I um-...I forgot to clean up before you got here.”
“That's ok.” Craig reached over and rested a hand on his boyfriend's knee. “I'm just happy I finally get to see you.”
Tweek couldn't help but smile at that, some of the lingering anxiety he'd been plagued with melting away. “I'm happy I get to see you too.”
“How's this place been treating you?” Craig asked, scooting a bit closer to the other teen.
“It's been…” Tweek hesitated, trying to find the words.
This place wasn't awful.
The staff was nice.
The food was good.
The daily, mandatory, group therapy sessions weren't much of a chore.
It had taken years of distress and mental anguish, but he was finally getting the help he needed.
The only downside Tweek could think of to doing inpatient there was that he couldn't see Craig as often.
“It's been good.” He finally settled on. “M-My therapist says I should be able to go home soon. Isn't that great?”
Craig nodded, his eyes going down to where his hand was resting on Tweek's knee. “Are you sure you're ready for that?” He asked, his voice laced with concern. “I don't want you to get overwhelmed again.”
Tweek's heart sank a bit at that.
I'm making him worry about me again…
He awkwardly rubbed his upper arm, his gaze trailing over to the large window sitting across from the bed. “That was…a one time thing.” He explained quietly, the words coming out dry and rigid. “It won't happen again. I promise.”
Craig frowned. “You don't have to promise that.” He scooted a bit closer, his hand carefully kneading Tweek's knee. “You didn't do anything wrong, remember? That was just-”
“I had a panic attack and slit my wrist in the school bathroom.” Tweek whispered, the words tasting like venom on his tongue.
Craig tensed up at that. “...you…were really stressed out.” He slowly withdrew his hand from Tweek's knee. “But…you're getting professional help now and…that's a good thing, right?”
Tweek fidgeted with the empty coffee cup in his hand, his index fingernail digging into the side. “...right.”
Heavy silence filled the room, the atmosphere growing thick with unspoken tension.
Despite how anxious Tweek always was, talking about his mental health was never something he was particularly fond of.
Sure, he spoke about it with the therapist his parents finally got him a couple months ago, but…
Craig?
No.
Never.
He was already so afraid of being way too needy and clingy with him.
Opening up to him about just how bad his mental health was seemed like a disaster waiting to happen.
He'd understand though…he's always so understanding.
Tweek roughly chewed on his bottom lip, his leg starting to bounce again.
Calm down. He came all this way to see you on his day off. Don't make him regret it. You're fine.
He swallowed the hardened lump in his throat.
Calm down. Calm down. Calm down…
He tightened his grip on the coffee cup in his hand.
Craig's eyes flicked down to Tweek's hand and the coffee cup.
Shit!
He hastily loosened his grip and tried to appear as relaxed as possible.
It must not have been convincing, because Craig reached over and nonchalantly placed his hand over Tweek's trembling one. “Hey, it's ok.”
“No it's not.” Tweek replied, still roughly chewing on his bottom lip to give himself something to focus on. “...I shouldn't be in here. I should be at home with you.”
“And you will be.” Craig gently ran his thumb over the back of Tweek's hand. “But we gotta get your meds figured out first, ok?”
Tweek nodded stiffly, knowing he was right.
He let go of the coffee cup and laced their fingers together, giving Craig's hand a small squeeze.
The corner of Craig's lips curved into a barely noticeable smile. “Your hand is warm.”
“It's always warm.”
“I know.” Craig brought Tweek's hand up to his lips and pressed a small kiss to the back of it. “I missed it.”
Tweek felt a rosy tint dust over his cheeks.
Without thinking, he leaned in and gave his boyfriend a quick kiss, their lips touching for only a second before he pulled back.
Craig's smile grew a bit.
They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Craig reached down and picked up the gift bag.
“I got you this.” He held the gift bag out to Tweek, a blush of his own forming on his cheeks. “Since…we don't know how much longer you're gonna be here and I won't be able to visit again until next week.”
“Oh-...you didn't have to-”
“I know.” Craig cut off, lightly shaking the bag in between them. “I wanted to. Here.”
Tweek took the bag and opened it up.
His brows furrowed in confusion.
He reached in and took out a decently sized guinea pig that looked exactly like Stripe, but…stuffed.
He stared down into the guinea pig's big black eyes.
Tweek's eyes went wide in horror, his heart dropping into his stomach. “STRIPE DIED!? AND YOU HAD HIM STUFFED!?”
“What? No.” Craig let out a small laugh. “I called ahead to see what kind of gifts I could bring and they said plushies were ok.” He poked the side of the plushie. “This one looks exactly like Stripe and I know you miss him. I figured this one could keep you company while you're in here getting better.”
“Oh.” Tweek looked back down to the plushie.
Looking at it now, feeling the slight weight of it in his hands…he felt a little dumb.
Of course their precious fur baby was safe and sound at home, waiting for his other dad to come home.
Tweek smiled at the plushie. “I love it.”
“I knew you would. The best part is that the pad inside is microwavable. I thought maybe you could ask a nurse to heat it up for you before bed. Then you can have something nice and warm to cuddle with.”
“That's…really thoughtful of you.” Tweek replied, his heart fluttering in his chest all over again.
He moved over and climbed onto Craig's lap, straddling him.
Craig instinctively wrapped his arms around Tweek's waist, holding him close.
Tweek rested his head on Craig's chest and closed his eyes, still cradling the plushie in his arm.
He felt one of Craig's hands go up to the back of his head, his slender fingers running through the blonde strands. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too.” Tweek gently nuzzled the other teen's chest, seeking comfort in the warmth and love his boyfriend always provided.
A comfortable silence fell over them; serene and calming.
Craig continued to slowly stroke Tweek's hair, his other hand rubbing small, soothing circles into his lower back.
Everything about being back in Craig's arms felt so freeing.
It wasn't until Tweek's fingers twitched against the stuffed guinea pig in his hand that he realized he was mentally slipping.
‘Slipping’ was the only word he had for it.
Times where he'd feel…younger.
More scatter-brained, anxious, and whimsical all at once.
He shifted his weight on top of Craig, wanting to get more comfortable.
Craig held him closer. “Something wrong, baby boy?” He asked evenly.
He noticed.
Tweek slowly shook his head then moved his free hand up to his mouth.
He stuck his thumb out and sucked it into his mouth, pacifying himself as his boyfriend began to carefully rock them back and forth.
“It's ok.” Craig whispered lovingly, his voice light and airy in a way it only ever was when Tweek slipped. “I've got you.”
Tweek closed his eyes and fully relaxed his body, allowing the other teen to rock him. “...’ank you.” He mumbled around his thumb.
“You don't need to thank me.” Craig replied in that airy voice of his. “I love taking care of you just as much as you do.”
Tweek smiled, the words strumming his heartstrings, his mind pleasantly fuzzy.
I love him.