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Wu remembers the first time his father had killed an animal. It wasn’t even a dangerous one, but instead a peaceful goat that had been grazing down the mountain. Wu wasn’t even sure what the point of such a thing was.
The squelching sound of the goat’s insides being twisted by the first spinjitzu master’s hand haunted Wu’s memories for decades. (Sometimes, Wu can still hear it.) There had been tacky blood all over the ground, staining the white, pristine tiles forever with the sins of the father. Wu had screamed when he saw it.
Garmadon had cradled Wu gently towards him when he found Wu staring at where the corpse had laid just hours before, wide eyed and scared. Wu half-expected his older brother to make fun of him and say that Wu was just being a baby and that he should get used to seeing such horrific things.
What Garmadon did surprised Wu. Instead of bullying the young boy, Garmadon took Wu into his arms and cradled him, quietly soothing his younger brother. Garmadon assured Wu that it was okay that Wu was scared, that it was okay that Wu was disturbed by the senseless murder. Garmadon had been kind, had been understanding in regards to his brother’s distress.
Wu likes to think he remembers that kindness better than he remembers violence, And that is what makes his feelings regarding his brother so complicated, for Wu can remember good times with his brother and how Garmadon was once good.
But does the fact that Garmadon was once good make up for the fact that he is now evil? Make up for the fact that he destroyed cities and tried to steal the golden weapons in an attempt to create a world in his image? Make up for the years, decades, centuries, of despar and stress he gave Wu?
Wu doesn’t like the feelings his brother’s corruption brings up in him. Wu wishes it was just black and white. Wishes that Garmadon was either all good or all evil. Then maybe Wu could pin down exactly how he feels about his brother.
But that is not how the world works, especially not in regards to Garmadon. Garmadon, who, even with corruption running through his veins, still loves Lloyd. His brother loves his son so much that he could push back the corruption enough to save him. Yet the same love pushes his brother to attack the ninja in an attempt to supposedly save Lloyd.
(Wu wonders if Garmadon had a point. After all, why did Lloyd, who was just a baby, need to be the one to fight? Why did their little family need to be broken up even more?)
Sometimes, late at night, Wu lays down, staring up at the ceiling, wondering if this was going to be worth it in the end. If making Lloyd fight his own father would truly bring peace to Ninjago. If it was even worth it.
Having hope is hard, on those nights. On those nights, it seems more worth it to just close his hearts and not let anyone inside. No one would blame Wu (except Misako), for he is one of the few who haven’t given up on his brother yet.
Wu wishes he could give up hope. Hope that is only fueled by his brother’s undying devotion to Lloyd, hope that is far too much for reality.
Maybe if Wu was better, he would be just like his father: impartial and wise. He isn’t better, and now he is stuck with the consequences of his bleeding heart.