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“You seen the girl?” Haymitch spills the moment I open the door after his hasty knocking.
“Not, recently” I frown, brushing a nervous hand through my hair before realising I probably shouldn’t have, as they’re still covered in flour.
“Apparently been gone all day, not back yet, no sign of her anywhere” he explains, an edge of worry seeping in through his annoyed grumble.
A sigh escapes me; what have you done Katniss?
“Well I have an idea of where she could be” I murmur a moment later as I think back to the conversation we had only a few weeks ago. I try my best to keep my voice neutral, well aware of the bugs in my house.
Haymitch seems to understand, perhaps had already thought of the possibility himself.
He nods curtly and for a brief moment a silent conversation passes between us.
‘You don’t think she would have?’
‘It’s possible’
“Anyway, her mother’s invited us for dinner, so we can wait together until she gets back”
'If she gets back’, is left unsaid.
“Okay” I nod, finally wiping my dirty hands down on my apron. “I’ll just go get washed up I guess”
Haymitch nods again, murmuring a gruff “yep” before shutting the door behind him.
A little while later I find myself cleaned up, now wrapped in a maroon sweater, with a fresh loaf of bread tucked under my arm, as I walk the distance over to Katniss’ place.
I knock gently as I reach the front door, but a moment later push open the door myself, as has become normal when visiting her place.
Immediately upon entering I notice Prim’s standing by the couch, Buttercup her orange scruffy cat in her arms. She looks worried, and who can blame her, yet she smiles warmly over to me as I enter.
“Hi Peeta” she nods welcomingly.
“Hi Prim, how are you?” Shutting the door and subsequent cold behind me I make my way further into the house.
“Alright” she shrugs.
I smile, “good” I nod, but with greetings out of the way now, our conversation dwindles quickly. Small talk feels foreign when you’re worried for someones life.
For a moment I consider going to the kitchen to offer my assistance to Asterid, who I can hear preparing dinner, but instead I find myself on the couch, looking around at my surroundings perhaps hoping there may be a sign in them of where Katniss could be.
A little while later Haymitch joins us, I don’t know where he went in the time between him seeing me and now, but now doesn’t seem the time to bring it up.
He brings with him a chess board, and absentmindedly we find ourselves playing, Prim occasionally leaning over to watch, but mostly just sitting quietly with Buttercup, as Asterid prepares dinner in the kitchen.
It mustn’t be more than an hour later when she joins us out in the living room, she tells us that dinner’s ready. But it doesn’t feel right to eat when she isn’t here with us yet, so it sits at the table slowly getting more and more cold as the minutes roll by.
Then there’s a brash knocking at the door.
We glance around at each other, anxiousness coursing through all of us, despite this we resume our mindless activities as if nothings wrong, while Asterid goes to answer the door.
“Oh Hello” she answers, sounding a little confused, I glance up and my heart nearly hits the floor.
“Can I help you?” Asterid continues politely.
“We have a message for your daughter” the woman answers. “Katniss” she adds on a moment later in clarification, though it was obvious that’s what she meant and we all know it.
Still just the sound of her name coming from the Peacekeepers lips, my chest tightens.
“Oh well she’s not here right now” Asterid continues, of course they already know this, there’s no other reason they would be here. “Out on a walk before dinner” she supplies in answer.
“We can wait” the woman nods curtly, not so much as asking for permission as she enters the house.
The other peacekeeper nods to the rest of us upon entering but doesn’t say a word.
We once again resume our activities, more than before trying to act as if this is just another normal night for us. Asterid returns to the kitchen, despite dinner already being finished. I’m not sure if she’s just pretending to be busy, or actually cooking something else.
Haymitch and I continue our game, though I could not tell you what’s happening, for all I know I may not even be playing correctly, my mind is so occupied.
Minutes quickly roll into hours as the sun slowly slips away, and the likelihood of Katniss returning home seems to slip by with it, I’m expecting the Peacekeepers to finally give up and set up a search party for her.
When lumbered footsteps sound from outside, the Peacekeepers shoot up, just in time for Katniss herself to come stumbling in the door.
I see the shock almost immediately as she catches sight of the two Peacekeepers in her house.
“Hello” she greets neutrally, quickly schooling her features.
“Here she is, just in time for dinner” Asterid exclaims a little too cheerily, it’s been hours, nobody’s buying that.
As if unbothered Katniss goes to pull off her hood, asking the Peacekeepers almost sweetly “can I help you with something?”
“Head Peacekeeper Thread sent us with a message for you” the woman cuts right to the chase, seriousness in her voice.
“They’ve been waiting for hours” Asterid adds.
“Must be an important message” Katniss replies plainly.
The woman is not amused, “May we ask where you’ve been, Miss Everdeen?”
Katniss practically huffs, “easier to ask where I haven’t been” she sighs, walking through to the kitchen where she places her hunting bag next to her mother.
She turns back to the rest of us, a hint of surprise crosses her face as she notices Haymitch and I, but it’s so brief I doubt the Peacekeepers would have noticed.
“So where haven’t you been?” Haymitch pipes up, sounding bored.
“Well, I haven’t been talking to the Goat Man about getting Prim’s goat pregnant, because someone gave me completely inaccurate information as to where he lives” she utters empathetically.
“No, I didn’t” Prim pipes up, playing along with Katniss’ story, “I told you exactly”
She huffs again, “You said he lives beside the west entrance to the mines”
“The east entrance” Prim corrects.
“You distinctly said the west, because then I said, ‘next to the slag heap?’ And you said, ‘yeah’” Katniss continues.
“The slag heap next to the east entrance” Prim explains patiently.
“No. When did you say that?” Katniss demands.
“Last night” Haymitch chimes in again.
“It was definitely the east” I add, Haymitch and I share a look, we both laugh, playing into this story as best we can. “I’m sorry, but it’s what I’ve been saying. You don’t listen when people talk to you”
“Bet people told you he didn’t live there today and you didn’t listen again” Haymitch scoffs.
“Shut up, Haymitch” Katniss huffs back quickly, in a way conceding to his words.
Haymitch and I crack up, Prim even smiles.
“Fine. Somebody else can arrange to get the stupid goat knocked up” at her mock frustration we only laugh harder.
“What’s in the bag?” The female Peacekeeper interrupts sharply. I’d almost forgotten they were here; almost.
With a small shrug Katniss tips the bag over emptying the contents onto the table almost defiantly. “See for yourself”
Relief fills me almost immediately upon realising there’s no condemning evidence in there.
“Oh, good. We’re running low on bandages” Asterid announces, picking up and examining the white cloth.
Finding myself on my feet again I make my way into the kitchen as well, picking up the small bag of candies from the table.
“Ooh peppermints” I murmur, popping one into my mouth.
“They’re mine” she takes a swipe for the bag, but I pull them away, tossing them over to haymitch who stuffs a fistful in his mouth before passing them to a giggling Prim.
“None of you deserve candy” Katniss scowls.
“What because we’re right” I tease, wrapping my arms around her. But instead of resting into me as I suspected she would have for our audience, she lets out a small yelp.
She’s in pain. I know it almost immediately though she tries to cover up the sound as indignation.
I look down at her, the anxiousness returning to me as I worry about what has happened once again.
“Okay, Prim said west. I distinctively heard west. And we’re all idiots. How’s that?” I concede, returning back to Katniss’ cover story to hopefully take the attention off of her injury, though I’m unsure if the others have really noticed it.
“Better” she smiles shortly, accepting the kiss I offer her before turning back to the Peacekeepers, finally addressing them again. “You have a message for me?”
“From Head Peacekeeper Thread” the woman begins, “he wanted you to know that the fence surrounding District Twelve will now have electricity twenty-four hours a day”
Well that confirms what I had already mostly expected her to have been today, still I can’t help but wonder, if what the Peacekeeper just said was true, how did Katniss get back out of there?
“Didn’t it already?” Katniss asks innocently back in reply.
“He thought you might be interested in passing this information on to your cousin” huffs the Woman, who no doubt knows where she’s really been today as well.
“Thank you. I’ll tell him. I’m sure we’ll all sleep a little more soundly now that security has addressed that lapse” Katniss continues with that same innocent voice.
The woman’s jaw tightens and she gives a curt nod as she and the guy leave.
Almost immediately after they’re gone, she slumps down against the table.
“What is it?” I ask quickly, my arms still around her holding her up a little more now that she’s gone slump.
“Oh I banged up my left foot. The heel. And my tailbone’s had a bad day, too” she answers me, allowing me to help her over to the rocker I had been sitting in before, I help lower her down into it, thankful the chair has cushioning for her sore coccyx.
Asterid follows, going to ease off her left shoe for her as she’s asks, “what happened?”
“I slipped and fell” Katniss answers, all of us turn to her in disbelief, “on some ice” she adds. Though no one here believes that story it’s best to leave it at that, at least while we’re in the house.
Managing to ease off her boot and sock, Asterid begins probing her fingers at it, assessing the damage. And judging by Katniss’ face, I don’t need to be a heeler to know it’s not good.
“There might be a break” Asterid announces softly a moment later, pulling off her other boot she quickly compares, while also checking there’s no damage to that one either. “This one seems alright” she murmurs again after that.
Asterid goes on to quickly asses Katniss’ Tailbone, though she sends Haymitch and I to go reheat dinner, and Prim off upstairs to grab her pyjamas before she gets into it.
Once it’s ready again I bring out a bowl of the stew for her, along with a few slices from the loaf of bread I bought.
Her mother has gotten her set up with her foot elevated, a snow coat resting against her injured foot.
Katniss murmurs a small thanks as I hand her the bowl, but she doesn’t seem much up for talking just yet, so after a curt nod I turn to join the others at the table, where we eat our own meal in practical silence.
Throughout the meal, Asterid gets up every so often to check on Katniss, mostly just to bring her more food, which Katniss ends up devouring three servings of; she must have been hungry. I once again wonder what she really got up to today.
After we’re all done, we join her again out in the living room; though Haymitch and I end up hanging back, starting another game of chess as we let Katniss catch up with her sister.
Though my mind is a little less occupied this time, I still end up losing, chess not being a game I’ve played very often.
“Next time” Haymitch murmurs gruffly, and I wonder if that’s an actual promise to make this a more regular occurrence, for better reasons than what came of today. Either way I nod.
I overhear Asterid say something about rest, handing Katniss a mug of what looks to be tea.
I put two and two together quickly as I watch her eyes begin to droop with each sip.
Before she can fully pass out resting against the couch, I find myself standing, offering aloud to the room, “I can help her up to bed”
I’m not sure if I was expecting pushback, but her mother simply nods.
Getting her off the floor is the first struggle, though with a hand from Haymitch we manage to get her standing again, almost immediately she’s practically wrapped around my waist, leaning against my side heavily as we begin walking.
I have to remind myself that this is mostly due to her injury, and one can assume the sleep syrup is playing a role as well.
After only a few steps however, it’s clear we aren’t going to make it the whole way, she’s almost too wobbly to stand up right, let alone continue walking.
Without much thought I let my body take over, scooping her up into my arms.
As we make our way upstairs it occurs to me that this is the first time I’ve picked her up before. It’s not all that different from what I imagined, apart from I guess the circumstances, she’s light and perfect, and it may just be my imagination but she seems to fit perfectly into my arms and chest.
‘Get a grip Peeta! She doesn’t like you, stop making this into something it isn’t’
Making my way into her room, I find myself gently depositing her on top of her bed, however as I go to pull back the grip she had on me doesn’t give up, her head that had previously been nestled into my top is even hesitant to pull away.
“Don’t go yet. Not until I fall asleep” she slurs, influenced by the sleep syrup, clearly working it’s magic.
I feel hesitant agreeing to this request however. Though she’s asked the question herself, anything she says and does right now is not really her, and I don’t want to take advantage of her while she’s in this state.
But. Then again, staying until she falls asleep isn’t all that different to our arrangements on the victory tour, and though she may be under the influence, it feels wrong to deny her this request.
So I nod, murmuring so quietly I’m not sure she even hears me, “okay”
I adjust my position to sit on the edge of her bed, taking hold of her hands I absentmindedly begin rubbing some warmth into them. “Almost thought you’d changed your mind today. When you were late to dinner.” The words seem to tumble out of me.
Though her eyes are rapidly blinking I watch her contemplate my words, a look somewhere along the lines of apologetic washing over her.
“No, I’d have told you” she tells me, pulling our joined hands up to her face where she leans her cheek up against the back of my hand.
We stay like this for a moment longer, Katniss’ grip slowly loosening as she loses strength to the syrup.
Then she murmurs it.
“Stay with me”
Without much thought my voice answers for me, “always”
But then, she’s really out. So still and peaceful I physically have to hold myself back from pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.
‘She didn’t mean any of that. It was the sleep syrup talking, not her’
Even still I want to honour her last request. Though as I watch her sleep I think back to the first thing she asked of me; ‘Don’t go yet. Not until I fall asleep’, well she’s asleep now. According to that request I’ve already done my part.
“Stay with me” she just said, had that meant the whole night? Or maybe even longer even?
Eventually I decide, after a few hours I would leave. That gave enough time for me to make sure she was settled in nicely, but left awkwardness out of our interaction, if she hadn’t meant all night.
As I go to leave, I pass by Asterid in the living room, the only one remaining down here. I think she’d usually be in bed by now, but I guess she was waiting around to see me out, or make sure everything was alright I guess. She looks up from the book she had been reading to look at me, shooting a somewhat questioning glance over in my direction.
“She’s asleep” I nod, confirming what she’d probably already guessed for herself. “I’ll come round again in the morning” I add, silently confirming that this is alright with her.
She nods, “goodnight Peeta”
“Goodnight” I repeat, slipping out the door and beginning my short journey towards my own place.
But when I get there, sleep is the last thing on my mind.
It’s still reeling from everything that’s happened this afternoon, the interactions with the peacekeepers, Katniss missing, the things she said under the influence of the syrup.
The last one most of all.
I can’t seem to make out what any of it meant.
I find myself baking again, my hands going through the motions of kneading as I think every little detail through.
I don’t think I even really registered what I was making, until I pull the fresh tray of cheese buns out of the oven