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The thin blanket of snow crunched under the soles of Masuki Satou and Rei Wakana’s shoes as they ambled through the twilit, quiet alleyways, away from all the busy streets and roads. They had just wrapped up their practice with the band that they were providing support for - that band had a concert coming up at a music festival but they were running short on members and so the duo were filling in for them. Fluorescent lamps lined the pavements in a single file line and emitted low buzzing hums as the girls continued to walk side-by-side.
There was silence between the two girls. Usually it was a comfortable silence, but this time things felt curiously strained. Though Masuki was wrapped up tightly in a scarf and coat, her chest and her fingertips still felt frosted with cold. Her golden gaze danced around the neon lights and signs above until it travelled back down and landed on Rei. Whenever she looked at her, her thoughts took her back to that day – just the two of them, fighting, clashing, face to face.
How Rei Wakana shone that day.
I can’t pry my eyes from her, the blonde mused. Yet again, she managed to shine brighter. Brighter than anything. Than anyone.
What am I even saying?
“Masuki?”
Masuki woke from her trance as Rei spoke with concern. “Is there something on my face?” she continued.
“Er, no. Sorry.” Masuki said quickly. “You did really well in the studio today. The guys back there seemed impressed.”
“Thanks. The same goes for you.”
Silence again. Masuki’s gaze finally dropped. I’ll never admit it, but this… distance… between us… It's killin’ me. It’s not like I have another choice, though. I'd never risk telling her what I actually feel.
All her thoughts seemed to pull her back to the “fight” they had in Galaxy. It had been a while since the pair had had a heavy session like that one. In that moment, it almost felt like it didn’t matter what the other was trying to say with their playing. Almost. At that point in time, Masuki was just having fun and playing whatever the hell she wanted, all for herself. Perhaps that in itself was saying something.
She smiled faintly to herself as she and Rei continued to walk. When was the last time she’d felt like that while playing with Rei?
Ah, right.
The time before Rei and Masuki were scouted for RAISE A SUILEN.
After every practice session with whatever group they were hired by, they’d jam out together in the studio after everyone had left. The two had barely got the chance to know each other at that point, but Masuki was absolutely sure about one thing - this “Rei” girl had real fire to her music, much like herself.
Much like myself…
Right from the day they met, Masuki was determined to hear more of Rei’s bass. She’d constantly goad her with all sorts of demanding beats and fills, inviting the girl to join her and go wild to their hearts’ content with nobody to put them on any suffocating leashes. Each vigorous strum of that girl's bass strings drove the drummer on a frenzied hunt to know more, see more, hear more.
You're the same, right?
Please, let me hear more of you.
I want to hear your sound again and again. Let it resonate with mine.
That’s what she thought in those first moments together.
"Ah, we have to turn here, right? Or am I mistaken?"
Rei's voice wrenched Masuki from dreamland once more. Her deep blue eyes were fixated on her as she waited patiently for an answer.
“What? Oh, uh, yeah. The bike’s a few hundred metres up this road…” Her voice trailed off for whatever reason.
“Alright. Say, are you sure you’re feeling well? You seem kind of distracted lately. To me, at least.” Rei added quickly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Masuki said briskly, her tone edged with defence.
Rei maintained her piercing azure gaze for a few heartbeats before she turned away and sighed quietly as she continued to walk again. As Masuki did the same, brows furrowed, she looked up. Her motorcycle appeared into view in the dimly-lit distance. "Looks like we're here," she commented. Rei looked up too.
"Ah, we are." She slowed her pace as Masuki approached her bike and grabbed her helmet, letting it rest in the crook of her elbow.
"You sure you don't want me to drive you home tonight? It's cold out tonight, not to mention it's getting pretty late," she offered Rei, shoving one of her hands into her pocket as if to demonstrate how freezing it was.
“Don’t worry about me. The station’s only a two minute walk from here, and the train ride isn’t too long.”
That same uncomfortable silence fell upon the pair once more.
Gosh, I know things are kinda awkward between us right now, but surely this is too much? Masuki thought with unease.
“...Well, I suppose I’d better get going. See you, Masu-” Rei said to break the stillness of the atmosphere as she turned her head away from Masuki.
“Wait,” Masuki blurted, cutting Rei off without thinking.
Rei faced her again, raising her eyebrows in surprise.
Crap, why did I say that? I don’t even have anything to tell her! Why did I even tell her to wait?
Masuki hesitated and said the first thing that came to her head. “Remember when we, uh… used to do support work back in the day?” For some reason, she decided to bring up their past together as first-years doing support work for bands for the first time.
“Sure, I remember. How could I forget?” Rei's lips curled into a subtle smile.
“Oh, I was just thinkin’... we were… uh… young.”
Rei snickered, folding her arms. “‘Young’? It was only, what, a bit more than a year ago.” Her eyes glittered with amusement. “Do you mean ‘inexperienced’ or something?”
Masuki felt like her throat would close up at that moment. God, I’m so lame.
“Oh yeah. Inexperienced. Y’know, I kinda hate thinkin’ about it. All I can think about was how bratty I was back then,” she smiled shyly.
“Bratty, huh? Well, I don’t think it would be a lie to say you really did do whatever you wanted in those sessions. Having a style is one thing, but back then you ad-libbed like your life depended on it,” Rei teased lightly.
“At least I had style!” Masuki retorted lightheartedly. “You were so adamant on listening to those guys’ every order, they should’ve called me ‘Mad Dog’ and you ‘Obedient Puppy'!"
A shared, hearty chuckle escaped them. Suddenly it didn’t seem so cold outside.
Man, we’ve come a long way since those days, haven’t we, Rei?
…Then why?
Why does it constantly feel like we haven’t been moving forward? In fact, why does it constantly feel like we’ve been moving backwards?
That feeling of being unstoppable… that we once shared… together…
…Do you miss it? Do you miss it like I do?
“Hey, Rei.
Do you miss when it was just us?”
The sentence escaped Masuki’s lips before she realised.
“...Just us?” Rei echoed softly.
Interestingly, Masuki didn’t immediately freeze up like she always did. “...Yeah.” There was a soft, wistful smile on her face. “Before we joined RAS.”
Rei looked at Masuki curiously, her expression failing to give anything away. Faint traces of self-consciousness finally began to seep into Masuki’s veins. “Ah, forget it. Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked a question like that. I definitely don’t hate being in RAS at all - it’s one of the best things that’s happened to me - it’s just…” The icy feeling rushed back into her hands and chest, nearly strangling her. “Let’s go home. It’s seriously late now.”
As feelings of downheartedness swirled within Masuki’s body, she put on her helmet, clasped it, swung her leg over the body of her motorcycle and settled down on the saddle. The engine growled furiously as the mechanical beast stirred. Everything about Rei’s features seemed hazy and obscure over the thunder of her bike as their eyes met.
“I’ll see you around. Get home safe, ‘kay?” Masuki said, the rumble of the engine threatening to drown out her final message to Rei for the night.
“...It was nice, wasn’t it?”
In that instant, it was as if Masuki’s ears had perfectly filtered out the cacophony of the distant, bustling streets, the deafening roar of her motorcycle’s engine and the hammering of her nervous, frustrated heart against her thorax to isolate just one sound - the sound of Rei’s gentle voice. Her heartbeat slowed, her shoulders relaxed and all of a sudden the engine of her bike seemed to purr meekly.
“...Yeah. It was,” was all that needed to be said from her. Warmth flowed back into Masuki’s body in calm waves. The long quietude that followed this time wasn’t strained or tense - it was reassuring.
It was Rei that approached her first. She clasped her arms around Masuki’s torso and pulled her into an embrace. Masuki’s eyes stretched wide. Rei’s arms gripped her tight, but she didn’t hate it one bit. She managed to free her hands from Rei’s gentle clutches and returned the hug, leaning into Rei’s body as much as her current position on the motorcycle allowed her to. In that blissful moment, Masuki’s raging thougts settled and solidified into a single, concluding vow:
I don’t want to leave you alone on that stage anymore. I don’t want to be left alone on that stage, either. I don’t care how much energy it steals from me - I’ll get stronger for you, Rei. I promise I’ll get stronger. I’ll try harder. One day I’ll catch up to you.
All so we can stand next to each other on the same stage again.