Chapter Text
“Have you seen the Prophet?” he asked, teasingly.
“Why the fuck would I want to?”
“You might be interested in the front page.” The newspaper landed on the breakfast table in front of him. He glanced at it.
WIZARDING WORLD’S GOLDEN COUPLE IN SHOCK SPLIT
The DAILY PROPHET can exclusively reveal that the rumoured split between the Chosen One’s best friend, Ron Weasley, and so-called Golden Girl Hermione Granger is no longer rumour. A source close to the couple has revealed that after six years, they have parted ways, Miss Granger moving out of their shared flat and into an unknown location two weeks ago.
No reason has yet been revealed for the separation of a couple that many regarded as devoted, expecting an engagement notice rather than a break up reveal. Considering Miss Granger’s past connections to multiple famous wizards, the DAILY PROPHET hopes that War Hero Ron Weasley (pictured below with his new girlfriend) is not just the latest victim.
“Fucking bullshit,” he muttered, pushing it away. “Why am I reading this shit about Weasley?”
“You’re missing the point,” his friend sighed. “Granger is finally single. Surely it’s time?”
“Just. From a fucking six year relationship.”
“Exactly. So it’s time. Before she gets into another one and you’re still stuck here pining after her like a lovesick fucking puppy.”
“I don’t pine. And she won’t be interested in me.”
“Then don’t let her know it’s you!”
“How the fuck am I supposed to romance a witch without letting her know who I am?”
The other man gave a long suffering sigh, and fixed him with a glare. “I thought you were supposed to be smart?”