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1
I never understood this thing of having best friends, or even regular friends. I was always self-sufficient and didn't need anyone—disconsidering when I was a useless child that needed their mom for everything.
When I was in kindergarden, I didn't had friends. I had subordinates. I always knew that. I could do anything with those kiddos and they would still applause and adore me. Was like a god that they could only admire, but never get near my feet.
Even in elementary school, I didn't have them yet. People loved me but were afraid. They walked with me, but they were never my friends. They wanted to mess with Deku, but only that. Wanted to be bad, exclusively. Of course, this made me have a certain fame and inflated my ego dangerously high. But one thing is have an inflated ego, and another thing is being amazing. I am both.
Then, I enrolled in UA. I took the first step to be a remarkable hero. Surpass the feared and loved All Might. I didn't planned to make friends. I was focused on the prize. But I saw him. He was weird with his “manly” talk, and his shitty red hair didn't helped a lot.
He acted like he was my friend, joked around, teamed up with me, and even had normal and casual conversations with me. He didn't acted as superior, and yeah, that was hard at the start, but at least he didn't saw me as inferior, which was a little less worse. He saw us as equals. I never really knew what it is to be treated as equal.
This turned into something usual to me. I got in this friendship play. I got used to being like the extras, even though I'm stronger than they, and acknowledging this fact.
Everything changed when I was kidnapped by the League of Villains. I understood quickly that I wouldn't be saved by anyone and that I needed to find a way to get away from them by myself. Like I said, I'm self-sufficient enough to handle that. But I caught myself wrong. He, Half-and-Half, Four-Eyes, Ponytail, and even the shitass Deku. This hurt my ego and pride? Of course, but I noticed that there are other people that care for me. Apparently.
A certain day, after that, my mom asked me who was the “weird redhead with a scar in the eye” in the photo I'd sent to show that I was fine, and I caught myself introducing him as “Kirishima, my best friend”.
After all of these years without having a friend, it's weird how I managed to make a best friend in less than a year. Catch myself cheering, wishing the best in the world, and even thinking a lot about someone it's ridiculous how abnormal it is, but so good at the same time. He clearly likes me more than I do. Like, he must catch himself sometimes wondering about how I smell, right? This is normal between friends, am I wrong? Not like I do this, anyways. Of course, I love how his scent is a mix between sweat, man's cologne, and wet dirt, and sometimes I notice that I'm thinking about it too much. I even sniffed the coat that he borrowed from me once, but only once. That's normal between friends.
I mean, he's amazing. Get to Katsuki Bakugo level, and this is for a few.
2
"Bakugo, you're popular with girls, right?" Dunce Face asks in one of our useless conversations in the dorms.
"I dunno. I think so", I answer vaguely. I never thought about what girls think about me. Usually I want them to explode.
"Whatd'ya think it works?!", he questioned, resting his head in his hand. "I'm tired of being singleeee!", complains.
"Don't ask me. I couldn't care less about that shit" I answer in disdain.
"Bro, if ya didn't want to help me, you could've just said it, Smoky" he says sulkily while teasing me. I tell him to jump from the last floor, and he just laughs at me. "Can you help me, Kiri?"
"Hm... You would believe me if I say that I don't have experience with those things?" Kirishima answers with an embarrassed smile on his face, showing his fang-shaped teeth, making him look... Well, cute, if you allow me to say that.
"I wouldn't believe if you had" I reply serious, then I start to laugh. I couldn't hold myself to not tease him. The others follow my laughter.
"Hey Bakugo, you can't say a thing. You don't have experience in it either!" Kirishima complains, faking a sad tone.
"Both of ya are losers. My twin Hanta will know how to help me, right?" Kaminari now turns to Plain Face. As if this loser would have any kind of experience too.
"Well, I know a little bit" says, gesturing. "I was kinda popular in middle school. The last two years were... fun. But I never dated dated, y'know?" keep answering, with a false superiority tone.
"I told ya that Hanta would know, didn't I?" Kaminari cheers while looking at me, then shows me his tongue, which I answer with a middle finger.
"No fucking way! You were popular with girls, Sero?!" Hair-for-Brains says.
"Yeah, I didn't expected that" I genuinely agree, since I would usually say that ironically.
"You are calling me ugly and disgusting in front of me. Cool, I thought we were friends. Fine" Plain Face says, pretending to be sad.
"Stop being fruitys" says the fruitiest. "Hanta... What's the secret, 'cause, boy..." he practically implores.
"I dunno bro. I don't even know what they saw in me" he answers shrugging. Obviously, only Kaminari and Mineta care about kissing girls.
"Bro! You guys are useless sometimes, damn!" complains and crosses his arms.
"What are you talking about?" Iida asks when he gets in the room.
"You're pretty nosy for a four-eyes, huh" I comment.
"I was just trying to get along with you, Bakugo! Classmates need to have a good relationship, especially with the class president!" he answers, sounding like a know-it-all goody two-shoes like always.
"I was asking those losers what's the trick to get girls, y'know Iida?" Kaminari interrupts explaining. "Can ya help me, huh?"
"Well, I had my share of girlfriends, if that matters for you" Four-Eyes answers and sits right next to Kaminari.
"God thank you! Can you give me some tips, pleasee?" Dunce Face practically implores, again.
"Bro, that's gettin' sad" Plain Face comment, acid.
"There's no tips, Kaminari. It's not like all the girls are the same. If you had this notion you may have dated one"
"BRO!" Kirishima starts laughting with Sero after that.
"He cooked you now Kaminari" Sero says at the end, with his huge plain-face smile.
"But hey, acting like, you know, a person and being respectful helps a lot" Iida advise being acid. Okay, I didn't expected him to act that way.
"I act like a person and I am respectful" Dunce Face mumble, clearly embarrassed.
"There's controversies" Kirishima affirms, almost in a whisper.
"Wait wait wait, what's so fun about dating? It's just someone else that can, and probably will, disappoint you" I ask in disdain.
"Gosh bro, don't be such a pessimist" Kirishima asks. "It must be fun having a girlfriend" he affirms, thoughtful.
"Well, for me there's no huge sparkle. But kissing is really good" Sero comment chuckling. "But you don't need to date for that, anyways. Don't lie to me saying you never kissed Mina, Kirishima. You've known her since middle school, right?" he keeps talking shit. Just the suggestion of them kissing is enough to make me want to puke.
"No! We barely talked in middle school!" he answers, embarrassed. "And also, she's not exactly my type" affirms looking at me quickly.
"Okay, you guys can keep being a bunch of pathetics there but I'll make the homework" I answer, going to my room. Like I would discuss dating even more with those losers.
3
I visit Kirishima's room quickly one hour and a half after that. I needed to get some school supplies with him because mine ended.
"Come in Bakugo" he says from inside his bedroom.
"Thank you for letting me borrow your things" I thank him when I get in. I'm proud and everything, but I learned how to be thankful for small things like that. Especially because it's Kirishima.
"It's not a big deal" he says and goes back to his bed, giving his attention back to a magazine where it had "EXCLUSIVE! Interview with Crimson Riot!" written on the cover right next to "A tip from a friend: how to lose 44 lb in four days!". Of course Kirishima is reading this magazine. "It's on the table" he tells me, and I pick up the supplies, quickly going to the exit. Even though I wanted to be here, trying to convince him that a magazine that promotes dubious weight loss methods couldn't interview Crinsom Riot due it's credibility, but I won't do that. It'll be weird, I guess.
"Well, I'm going" I say, almost passing through the door.
"Hey! Hold on, Bakugo!" he asks, dropping the magazine on the floor.
"Hm? What is it?" I ask back, already anxious.
"I want to talk with you about some things... Can you close the door and sit there? It's kinda serious, y'know?" he asks with a thoughtful and embarrassed tone. What would he want to talk about at nine pm? I should be sleeping by now. Of course I do what he asks, but I'm really questioning it now.
"So, Shitty-Hair?" I question a little uneasy. I can feel that something weird will happen.
"Well, hum... You remember earlier today? When the boys were talking about kissing and everything?" he asks, totally indiscreet, while looking at every place except my face.
"Of course, happened barely two hours ago. Why?" I ask without taking my eyes out of his face. He seemed apprehensive, insecure, embarrassed, and disconcerted.
"Have you kissed someone before?" he asks after a huge sigh. Is happening what I think is happening?
"No. Not a real kiss, at least. And you?" I give the question back to him. It seems like he knew this would happen.
"Same thing" he answers and gives a long and heavy sigh. He clearly wants to kiss me, I'm not a total idiot and those dubious questions aren't exactly discreet, but why did he sigh? If he won't kiss me, asking me all of those things and simply not finishing the thought is way weirder, even if I reject him.
"Want to do it now?" I ask without thinking a lot about it. I noticed how anxious I was. My hands were sweaty, my heartbeat was quick and I felt the so-spoken butterflies in my stomach.
"I want..." he answers, slowly coming closer to me.
When our mouths finally met each other, I felt a different sensation. I've never felt something like this before, and it's good as hell. It was like a bunch of fireworks exploding in our surroundings. Suddenly, everything made sense. Apparently, I really wanted to kiss him in the end. It wasn't just friendship. This is so weird. So... I like boys? This explains a lot, especially how I was fascinated with his scent, think that he's stupidly attractive, and want him near me more than I have ever wanted anyone else.
Sadly, our kiss was really simple and quick, it didn't even have tongue, but when we got apart and he started to look deep in my eyes, I couldn't help but kiss him again, holding his head and pushing it next to me. Quickly, he pushes his tongue into my mouth, and I do the same, feeling the weirdly good sensation of his sharp teeth slightly touching my tongue. He grabs my waist, also pushing me closer to his body, and I could feel his chest against mine by how close we were. I feel one of his hands leaving my waist and being used to give us stability since I was pushing a lot of my weight on him. I release his head, changing one of my hands to behind his neck and the other going on his hair, which wasn't up full of gel like he usually lets it.
Suddenly we fall. Probably his arm got tired and just stopped giving us stability, but we couldn't care. Unfortunately, we had to stop to catch our breath.
"Bakugo..." Kirishima starts, looking at me with a desperate stare. "I like you" he finishes, looking the other way.
"I think I do too..." I answer, getting out of him and sitting on the end of the bed. "I need to do the homework" I digress from the subject walking to the door.
"What?"
"Thank you. For both things" I say, almost out of the room.
"Wait Baku-" he would say when I leave the room and close the door.
Okay. Stunning. Amazing. Perfect. Spectacular. He likes me. That's good, I guess. Now I just need to sleep and not think about that. Fuck the homework.
And of course I can't sleep. I spent the whole night making those "Am I gay?" quizzes and searching "I'm a guy and I kissed my guy best friend, what do I do now?".
4
The next day I kind of avoided him. Of course I did it as discreetly as possible because those assholes are a bunch of big mouths, and if I let it be clear that something happened, they wouldn't stop talking about it, and it would get on my nerves. Especially Kaminari, that fucker.
We are in a practice exercise that, honestly, I don't really understand. I'm with my head in the clouds today and that's terrible. What matters is that I understood what I need to do. I need to hide and be cautious, I think I'm in the villain role, like always. Anyways, the real problem with this exercise is that All Might made me be Kirishima's duo. Of course, because life is a fucking joke. When I want to be in the same team as this boy, I'm not, but when I want to be away from him, of course I'll be in the same team as him.
I was trying to focus on the objective, but it's really hard when this handsome asshole is staring at me. Staring so much that I don't even need to look at him to know that he's staring. I can feel it.
"Bakugo... We need t-" he starts to say it, but I interrupt him, saying "shh". I think I've heard someone approaching. "Don't 'shh' me, we need to talk about yesterday".
"We can talk about it at the dorms or something, not now?!" I answer somewhat curtly, but I just don't want to lose in this exercise. "You heard that?" I whisper.
"Yeah, I've heard".
We get quiet for a while, still crouched down, waiting for the perfect time to pick up the said object that we needed to catch, and also paying attention to notice from which side they would try to ambush us.
I look at him, and he signs that they're coming from both sides, and I agree with a nod of my head.
"Let's wait for them to come and then we can catch them in a bind" I suggest, throwing out the most generic plan ever created in the world, but it was the only one that came to my clouded and unfocused mind.
"But it's Yaoyorozu and Mineta. She definitely thought of something smart to counter us, since in brute force they wouldn't win" he retorts and brings me back to reality. That fucked-up plan would never work on them. Mineta isn't really the most brilliant mind, but she wouldn't allow herself to get caught with that.
"Ok ok, true..." I answer, trying to figure out something that would make us surpass those extras.
When I was putting my head on maximum capacity to think of something, I felt circular things falling over me. Were them, shit!
In a few minutes, I'm captured and immobilized, and then we lose. Sometimes I really am a piece of shit, damn. Of course, it was only this time, but still. Fuck, I lost to Little-Runt! Even though he was clearly carried by Ponytail, don't make it less humiliating.
"Shit..." I hear Kirishima mutter to himself, immobilized too. He seems frustrated, and that's okay. I would be too, but I'm more angry than frustrated.
Soon, All Might announces that Mineta and Yaoyorozu were the winners, so the Little-Fry release us with a mocking face. I want to turn him into dust now, but they would stop me if I tried to, and what happened in the Sports Festival would repeat itself. They treated me like an animal in that fuckass event.
After we were releases, I started to go to the exit of the training arena, and Kirishima started to bother me again.
"Now can we talk?" he asks, testing my pacience.
"Okay, prince! We can talk now!" I almost shout and pull him by his mask to the exit.
"Hey hey hey hey hey!" he complains, while I keep pulling him. "Don't need to pull me!" keep complaining like a crybaby.
"You didn't want to talk?! We'll talk now!"
When we get out of the training arena, Deku comes to talk with me, and I don't understand why, like always. Why can't he leave me alone? I feel like a dog with fleas.
"Kacchan, can you tell me when you noticed that they caught you?" he asks with the same kind and sweet tone that always gets on my nerves.
"Not now, fuckass nerd!" I retort, immediately and show my middle finger to him while I keep pulling Kirishima by his mask.
"I'm sorry, Midoriya, I'll tell you everything later, okay?" Kirishima says it in a passive and gentle way. "We have some things to talk about" he finishes. Too much info, Kirishima, too much info. I pull him, and I start to walk faster.
"Okay...?" Deku says it while we walk away.
I keep the pace, my hand still holding his mask. When we are far enough from everyone else, I say:
"Too much info, Kirishima"
"What?"
"You gave too much info to the shitty nerd" I explain short-temperated.
"Fine, fine..." he answers, rolling his eyes quickly. "Why did you leave the room that way?" he goes straight to the point.
"I... I don't know. I didn't know how to deal with having kissed you. And kissed passionately as well".
"And you think I know how to handle that?!" he asks. "I had to be very brave to ask you those things!".
"You are always brave" I answer without think a lot about it, and he replys it with one of his big silly smiles. "But, if I understood it right, you chickened out in the middle of it".
"Idiot! Where did you got that? I never chickened out!" he retorts with something that smells like a lie. "But, yeah, I would chicken out if you haven't said that thing..." he confess looking away with an awkward laugh.
We stared at each other for a time that felt like forever, but I know it must've been short.
"Thank you" I thank, all of sudden.
"For what, exactly?" he asks, slightly confused.
"For help me realise that I've been liking you for a while already" I admit it somewhat awkwardly, avoiding his face.
"Hum... Yeah, see Katsuki Bakugo not knowing how to act wasn't on my bingo card for this year" he plays and laughs a little, but he stops the moment he noticed that I'm serious. "I'm happy that you feel the same. I was scared that I had fucked up our friendship" he admits.
"You're crazy? I kissed you" I correct him. If I didn't had the balls, I would've gotten out of that room only with school supplies and not questioning my sexuality. "And even if I didn't, I probably would've acted like it didn't happen".
"Yeah. You definitely would've done that" he affirms, laughing. "Anyways, we're going astray, aren't we?"
"Yes. We are" I agree, 'cause I really don't know how to act now.
"Okay... I'll be straightforward 'cause if I don't do it now, I won't ever do it; I want to have a relationship with you. Like, go to dates, those things, y'know" he practically spit the words out, quickly and uncontrolled.
"Good. I need to be honest. I don't..."
"Oh, okay then. I act like this never happened" he interrupts me and already puts himself to go away.
"Hey, I didn't finish!" I tell him, pulling him back. "You bothered me to talk about it, and now you'll listen!" I order, irritable as always.
"Okay..." agree clearly insecure.
"Well, until yesterday I never pictured myself liking anyone. Like, in general. Because of that, I don't really know how to process this, imagine demonstrating it" I explain it in the least harsh way possible.
"Alright. Sorry for not even consider that, actually. You clearly aren't someone that cares about that type of thing. And, I'm sorry for pressuring you, too" he asks sorry multiple times, looking like a stray dog.
"That's alright. You didn't do it on purpose" I reply it, weirdly calm. "Anyway, I'm not sure about a lot of things. The majority of them, actually" I assume.
"Ok, I don't know why I didn't whink of that".
"Let me finish, idiot!" I complain, being a little aggressive, by which he apologizes quickly. "I'm not sure about almost every, but I'm sure about three things; I want to go on dates with you, whatever that means, I definitely don't want to be just your friend and, surely that kiss was damn good" I say it quickly and awkwardly. I just needed to spit this out.
"Pff, dude!" He starts to laugh. That makes me want to explode myself in smithereens from inside out. "It was nothing. I just wasn't expecting that by the way the conversation was going" he explains it, controlling his laughter and taking a deep breath. "Yeah, it was damn good. What do we do now?"
"If you don't know, how would I?!" I reply with a slightly annoyed tone that I hold back. "I thought you understood about it!"
"I understand a little bit, but this doesn't only involve me, big brain!" he answers quickly.
We keep in silence for a while. I don't say anything because I can see that he's gathering courage to say something, so I give him the time that he needs. It's not like someone is entitled to seek us out. They're definitely more interested in seeing how the Half-and-Half bastard is going on his exercise.
"Fine. So... You kind of want to be with me, like... I don't know... boyfriends?" he says the last word quickly, as red as his hair from embarrassment and with a clearly insecure tone.
"We can try starting by not being just friends?" I answer, trying my best to not be an asshole and hurt him.
"Good... That's cool for me" he replies in a resigned but not entirely satisfied tone. "Can... Can I... kiss you?" he asks slowly.
I don't answer. That would be too weird—more than this entire convo together, I guess—so I just get closer to him and interlace our lips quickly after looking at our surroundings.
"We need to go back. Half-and-Half must've finished quickly, and they'll notice that we didn't appeard yet" I change the subject and also look away because I know that he's with his characteristic big smile. If I saw that, I would kiss him for real.
"Alright!" he answers, now with a glad tone.
5
Two months have passed already, and I'm feeling bad. Feel bad for Kirishima, actually. Okay, we've been together, I guess, but he clearly wants something serious, but I don't know if I'm ready for that. I understood that I like guys, and only them. And I'm sure I like Kirishima, and he made it pretty clear that he likes me too, but I don't know if I want to date now! I want to talk about it with someone else, but I can't imagine anyone that could help me with it, which is pathetic, I know. I can only think of Mina, but we aren't that close.
I was racking my brain over it instead of racking my brain over math—not like I would actually struggle with math, but y'know—, with my head on the table when I heard knocks on my door. Everything that I don't want right now is handle with anyone from this class, but okay. Probably it is just Dunce Face coming to be a pain in my ass.
I take a deep breath, fix my hair that got all messed up with the "acting like a crybaby with my head on the table" thing, and I start to pretend that I was doing the homework.
"Come in" I say in a bored tone, but still "focused" on my homework.
"Excuse me, Bakugo, can we talk?" the person asks, and I know it's Kirishima by his voice. And he's clearly worried about something.
"Of course, Kirishima. Always" I reply in a little tired tone because I'm really not in the mood for that now. "What happened?"
"I think it's better that we end whatever we have. You clearly aren't-".
"I want to be with you, I swear. I even want to date you, for real. I just don't know if I'm ready for what it implies, y'know?" I explain after interrupting him, and then I notice how I'm being vulnerable.
"So... You are with other people?" he genuinely asks, speaking slowly. "There's no problem if you are, I'm just trying to understand" explains, and I couldn't bear to not laugh at it.
"You are soo lucky that you have this weirdly cute face" I affirm, still laughing. He accepts the "compliment" with his default big-ass smile that always makes my heart skip a beat. Yeah, I definitely like him. "No, I'm not with anyone else, and I don't want to be" I keep answering while laughing, but now, trying to control it. "It's just... I don't know! You seem so secure about it and understand yourself so much, while I, until some weeks ago, thought that I just never found a girl that worth it!" I answer quickly and then notice how pathetic this sounded.
He stays quiet for a moment, probably thinking what to answer me. I know that, but that doesn't mean that I won't be insecure about what he'll say.
"You really think that?" he seriously asks. Kirishima isn't someone that usually talks seriously in mundane conversations, so I know I messed up with something.
"Sure! You don't seem bothered by it at all, unlike me!"
"Bakugo, I'm freaking out. I thought this was clear! I've liked you for a while at this point, and, to make it clear that I'm not trying to put any pressure on you, all of this uncertainty is driving me crazy. I'm not complaining to you 'cause I know everyone has their own time, and I want to give you space 'cause this process is also complicated" he confesses, talking quickly and even stumbling over some words.
"It doesn't look like it! I..." I start, but then I interrupt myself. "You know what? Fuck it up" I say, and then I kiss him. Truly now.
I hold him close, and I bury myself in his mouth as if my life depended on it. He reciprocates in kind, putting his hand on my nape and the other on my waist. Fuck, I really wanted that. My hands migrated to his hair, messing it, while his hand that were on my waist lowered to my butt cheek. He also bit me and, obviously, it hurt, but honestly, I couldn't care less. It was a pleasant pain. And I just wanted him.
He was pushing his body onto mine and, consequently, pushing me against the wall. When I finally hit my back at the wall, he takes his hand out of my butt cheek, sliding it to my thigh, which I lift slightly to make it comfortable for both of us. Because of that, he can get even closer to my body, which I thought wasn't possible, but I won't be the one who'll complain. I separate the kiss for a bit to catch my breath, but looking at how he looks at me now, I just feel certainty. I'm certain of it now.
"Okay, yeah. I want to date you. For real now" I affirm, holding one of his cheeks while he kept our position. "Without hiding anything".
"You want to tell everyone? You think we need to do that?" he asks really confused because I wouldn't suggest that, at all.
"No! It's no one's business. I'm just saying that we don't need to lie" I explain it quickly.
"Alright... Umm, we're... boyfriends now?" he asks, embarrassed.
"Yeah, we are" I affirm with a soft smile. He answers it with a huge smile, then kisses me again.
6
It has been months since we started dating, and I need to admit, I'm still not used to that. With people acting like they're talking with both of us when they talk to me. Because they use us as an example of a relationship, and even the easiest thing to get used to is being cuddled. I love it, I won't lie, but I haven't gotten used to it yet.
The things were easier than I expected them to be. Super easy, actually. It was really weird. We didn't make an announcement, especially because that's no one's business, but they caught it in the air, and no one asked anything about it, just accepted the fact, and that's it. Less worse, but still, weird.
I was at Kirishima's room doing my homework, but only because he basically begged me to, since his room looks like a pigsty and I would only step a foot in there to clean it. Which I won't do.
"Dude... I thought you would've broken up with me at this point" he comment, laughing, and laying down in his bed while he caught the tennis ball that he was throwing in the air repeatedly.
"Wait, why?" I ask, turning my head quickly.
"It's just that when we got together, you were full of uncertainty, and I don't know, I thought that at this point you would've realized if you like me or not" he explains.
"I like you, okay? I adore you" I answer, getting up out of the chair and going to him. Then, I kiss him quickly and repeatedly. "I adore you, and this is the last time I'll say it" I finish, going back to the quick and repeated kisses.
He laughs and starts to push me away, but not really meaning it. Contradictory, I know. So, I hold his hands and say:
"Now you won't get in my way" and I go back to kiss him.
He was laughing and kicking his legs when I kept doing that, until the door opened by itself.
"Kirishima, I..." Mina interrupts herself when she looks at us.
I stop at the moment I see her. Kirishima too. So there we are, staring at each other, with me holding his hands, him lying down on the bed, in a situation that could've been taken out of context easily, and she was there holding a tray of cookies.
"I'm sorry" she says, closing the door. "I made cookies" she announces, and then we hear her laughter as she walks away, which triggers a wave of laughter from us.
"Bro, she definitely thought we were doing something else!" he affirms, laughing.
"Absolutely" I agree with him while I was laughing. Then, I kiss him for the last time. "Let's grab some cookies before it ends" I say, going to the door.
"Wait for me brooo" he asks, stumbling in on himself while he was getting up.