Work Text:
Dating has never been an easy feat. It takes focus, coordination, planning, toughing things out, communication, reliance but also independence, an ability to help and tolerate, and overall? It takes an annoying amount of dedication. However, too much dedication would make you into a hopeless romantic and you’ll never stop searching until you find that perfect man. But, it also depends on how high your standard is. What would you want in a man?
Roman knows exactly what he wants in a man, someone he can save but can save him. He wants to be the perfect prince charming and them his manly-damsel. Or occasionally the other way around, he doesn’t mind finding someone who could act as his prince charming, to wake him from his slumber. Or more realistically, someone who can snap some damn sense into him. But, he has friends for that.
Florida, Providence City. July 27th.
I mean, what’s new? Roman sitting with his friends in Patton’s little café that his mum happens to own. It’s a quint place, Patton usually just brings orders to people and helps his mum make the food. He - despite how much he hates cooking - loves baking, taking well after his mum. Of course, can’t go anywhere without the low-energy ones too, the ones who would smack him upside the head for even looking at a man with his usual heart eyes. They always would, they’d always try to talk sense into him but he’d never listen. Nothing’s new.
So, Patton taking his break and sitting beside Roman while he went on and on about how his last breakup had gone. Virgil not even pretending to be interested and Logan listening without looking. Patton was very much listening though, he was always the type to accidentally push Roman into continuing his hopeless romance. Virgil and Logan on the other hand, never took any of that bullshit.
“Okay, princey? I’m gonna be so fuckin’ honest here… I can’t even tell which relationship you’re talking about right now… you’ve had like… a million.” Virgil chimed in with his typical uncharacteristic and groggy voice, he ran a hand through his dark hair and leaned back before sighing and crossing his arms, brows furrowing upwards slightly as his gaze darted around but mainly focused on Roman.
Roman paused, squinting his eyes at Virgil. “Oh whatever, Janice Ian! Just say you’re single and get over it.” Roman huffed, leaning forward slightly to press his elbows on the table and rest his head on his hands.
Virgil paused for a moment, shifting slightly uncomfortable “Don’t… don’t call me that. She’s an icon, but like… no.” He pressed his lips together and eyed at Logan, hoping for some input as well. Someone had to smack some sense into Roman.
“Okay, okay! Ugghh. You don’t know what it’s like to be searching for my prince charming! I have standards, and they’re never met.” Roman rolled his eyes and leaned backed, pushing with his palms on the table before letting his hands rest on either side of him.
Logan raised a brow, eyeing back at Virgil but then looking back to his laptop, clearly more focused on his work, per the usual it seemed really. Roman looked at Logan for a moment, half-expecting him to chime in. He was certainly a hard worker, he could honestly admire it. Roman wished he had even half of the motivation to work as often as Logan.
Patton blew out some air through his mouth, feeling a little awkward. “Well, no need to go shutting down dreams or anything! I’m sure Roman will find the perfect guy for him!” He smiled gently. He always had some kind of advice despite being single himself. “Who knows, the perfect guy could be right in front of him! He’s just gotta uhm.” Patton paused “…reach out?” He made a small sound of defeat “I don’t know, I feel like we’ve gone over this like a hundred times already!”
“That’s cause we have... But Roman never listens and always ends up crying because of a guy.” Virgil leaned forward, placing one arm on the table and leaning his head on his hand. He stared at the counter to his left, trying not to accidentally stare at any other customers.
“Roman’s a hopeless romantic, there is not much we can do.” Logan finally chimed in, still staring at his laptop screen, tapping away at the keyboard. His glasses reflected a small image of a google spreadsheet but nothing discernable.
“Exactly! All you guys gotta do is just support me! Hell, I wouldn’t mind if you guys tried to set me up on a blind date!” Roman grinned, leaning forward slightly to grip the edge of the table.
“…I don’t think you’d wanna get with any of my friends, dude.” Virgil grimaced, looking at Roman briefly before looking away.
“…True. Not into emos.” Roman blew out some air.
Patton thought for a moment “Well, maybe? But you already know all of my friends… and you also know I’m friends with mainly women…” Patton made a little sound to express his awkwardness
“Also true.” Roman sighed before eyeing Logan. “…You got any cool friends, Velma?” Part of him honestly assumed him, Virgil, and Patton were his only friends… Logan wasn’t a big social type. He wasn’t scared of people, he just hated them.
Logan sighed, looking up from his laptop to stare at Roman back. “No. Nobody you would be interested in or anybody that would be interested in you.” He kept his gaze fixated on Roman. Gosh, his eye contact was always so… Fierce? Uncomfortable? There had to be a word for it!
“Figures. You’re probably friends with like… a book club. Which I have no interest in, book clubs are boring.” Roman sighed and rolled his eyes, turning to look out the window to his own left.
“Are you not into poetry?” Logan cocked an eyebrow
Roman gasped “Of course I am! I love poetry and don’t you even INSINUATE otherwise! Book clubs areeee...” Roman paused, trying to find the word.
“Cliché?” Virgil glanced at Roman
“Long-winded?” Patton said in a slightly higher pitched voice than normal.
“Both, but I was thinking moreso… uninspiring.” Roman glanced between Virgil and Patton before looking back to Logan. “Poetry is fun and it inspires! Reading one book over the course of a month just to discuss it for one day is boring.”
Logan rolled his eyes “Not entirely what book clubs do, but alright.” He looked back at his laptop screen finally. Gosh, what is the word? Intense? Feverous? No… his eye contact is… perhaps charming is the word? He always tends to look at people's eyes when conversing, like he’s trying to read them. And he does enjoy reading.
Roman mentally shook his head and let Patton lead the conversation. Words bouncing between Patton and Virgil, Logan occasionally chiming in. Roman couldn’t help but stare out the window, watching cars and strangers pass by. How many opportunities has he missed? What if his soulmate had already passed him by and he didn’t even notice?
The thought was dreadful. Romance was his favourite thing, favourite topic, favourite action! He loved old romance movies and adored disney romances like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. Hell, even Ariel! Romance altogether was his pinnacle. It was literally in his name! Roman-ce! And yet, despite his best efforts he couldn’t find ‘the one.’
His standards felt so vague… I mean, he knows what he wants in a man but, just how much as he actually thought about that factor?
July 31st.
That had to have been his worst date yet. What kind of gay man is sexist and transphobic? Was he even actually gay? Did he think Roman was a woman? Honestly, it was putting his whole mood off. He pulled his phone from his pocket as he held his jacket in his right hand. Brows furrowing, texting with one hand.
GayDisneyPrince: PATT. That was the worst date of my life!!!!1!1!! I don’t think he was even actually gay???!
Patt0ncake: O no!! Are you okay?? I can come over if you want! :-)
GayDisneyPrince: Nonooo It’s fine don’t even worry specs!! I’ll just curl up and cry for the night, myb binge smth and fall asleep at 1 AM. Ty tho! xoxo <3
Patt0ncake: okie dokie! Lemme know if you need anything, Ro!!! <:D
Well, at least Patton offered I guess. Ugh, he made his text sound so much sadder than he meant it. He wasn’t actually going to stay up until 1 AM, he needs his beauty sleep. Roman sighed, tucking his phone in his pocket, deciding to ignore the single notification that buzzed in his pocket.
Roman crossed the road, jacket swinging in his hand. He approached a fairly fancy apartment complex, pretty large and it definitely seemed to be in good condition. Honestly, he couldn’t express how upset he was that he let the guy drive him to the restaurant if he tried. Walking in heeled-boots wasn’t very fun!
He entered the building, mind sort of dissociating. Dates were always difficult, especially blind ones. But it’s not like he can just ask one of his friends on a date, it’s because he already knows them! What’s the fun in that? Besides, he knows them and therefore he knows most of his friends aren’t his type… Did he even have an actual type?
Roman hummed to himself, taking his keys from his jeans pocket and shoved them into the keyhole, unlocking the door and letting himself in, closing it behind himself as he chucked his keys into a small bowl on a counter. Walking into the living room and chucking his jacket on the couch. He then chucked himself onto it as well, groaning as his body fell onto the cushions.
I guess he’s never really thought about it, he just sort of… falls for a guy. He never likes a specific detail about them or anything, not that he’s noted mentally anyway. He usually just finds a guy cute and that’s that, he never knows what makes them cute. Roman sighed heavily as he turned his head onto its side, staring blankly at the turned off TV. Thank god Remus didn’t leave it on this time, sucks having to share an apartment with that fuckhead.
Roman grunted slightly as he pushed himself up with his palms, sitting up straight, back against the back of the couch, legs hanging off the edge. What makes a guy cute? Roman squinted, scrunching up his face slightly. Remus is the same, just goes for a guy regardless… Guess it’s genetic or something. Maybe there’s a reason these dates never work out… Maybe, Roman should give up.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
Roman blinks himself out of his dissociative state and shoots his gaze to the door, heart suddenly pounding faster. What a jumpscare! Remus wouldn’t knock, did Patton come over regardless? Roman sucks in a deep breath and exhales with a groan, rolling his eyes and picking himself up from the couch. He walked out into the wall and opened the front door with a slight annoyance stuck on his face, he wasn’t feeling very social at the moment.
As the door swung open, he was met with- “Uh, Logan?” Roman blurted out in confusion. He blinked a few times to process what he was even doing up, he figured Logan would be asleep by now.
“Good evening, Roman. At Patton’s request, I am here to figuratively ‘knock some sense into you.’” Logan explained swiftly and simply. Hand clasped together in front of his abdomen as he waited to be let inside.
“Ugh, I told Patton I didn’t need help…” Roman pulled out his phone and went back to their previous text conversation. Ah, that’s what that last buzz was, it was Patton letting him know Logan was going to come over. Roman rolled his eyes and put his phone back into his pocket, making way to Logan to enter. “I don’t need sense knocked into me, it was a bad date, no biggie!”
As Logan entered, Roman closed the door behind him, following Logan into the living room before passing him and taking his jacket off the couch and walking behind the couch to his bedroom. Logan cleared his throat, cautiously following Roman since he seemed to be in a rather distasteful mood. “A date that could’ve been rather easily avoided if you took some time to look at his socials.” Logan pointed out.
Roman huffed before chucking his jacket onto the post at the foot of his bed. “I’m not going to cyber-stalk somebody, that ruins the point of a blind date, Mr. Pea-have-nobody!” Roman took out his phone and placed it on his bedside table, chucking an empty journal onto his desk to make room for said phone.
“I didn’t say cyber-stalk, I said look at his socials. He in no way supports transgender folk like yourself, Roman. You would have known that if you took a moment to look at his facebook.” Logan sighed, taking off his own jacket and placing it on a beanbag at the foot of Roman’s bed.
“Nobody uses facebook! I may be pushing thirty, but I’m not thirty yet! - Also, how do you know that? Why were you looking at his socials?” Roman raised a brow, plopping himself onto his bed, a slight bounce before he rolled over onto his side and furrowed his brows, staring at his poster and art filled wall.
Logan hesitated, “I… heard about your date and since you name dropped him, I decided to be curious and look him up. I found his usual username and looked up his socials. ‘No biggie’ as you would say.” Logan tapped his pointer fingers together coyly.
“No biggie and yet you cyber-stalked a guy you don’t even know. Ugh! You don’t need to be so involved, it’s fine, what’s done is done.” Roman put his arm under his head.
“…That is typically the point of cyber-stalking, to get to know somebody.” Logan paused, clearing his throat again and pushing up his glasses. “In either case, Patton has sent me here to talk some sense into you. I’m not saying you need to stop dating or give up, I don’t understand dating enough to say that to you. I am however saying that perhaps… You stop going on blind dates and instead just befriend some people before dating them.” Logan moved to Roman’s desk and fiddled around with some of his pencils, absent-mindedly flipping open the empty journal and fiddling with the pages.
Roman let out a loud groan and sat up, gesturing with his hands. “You don’t get it! Blind dates are so much easier! If I befriend someone and I do like their company, I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship for a relationship that might not work out!” Roman huffed. “If I start with a relationship, there’s nothing to ruin!” He crossed his arms and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.
Logan turned to the side to look at Roman, blinking a few times. “I… suppose I can understand that viewpoint. But, the point of befriending somebody is to know what specifically you enjoy about them. If you start with a relationship, you don’t know what you’ll like or dislike.” He pointed out, voice monotone as ever.
Roman rolled his eyes. “I guess? But, I don’t even know what I actually like in a guy! I can’t figure out what even makes a guy cute to me!” Roman groaned, flopping onto his back with his arms spread out, feet planted firmly on the ground while his back laid on the bed. “I feel like giving up on dating at this point. Nothing works. They’re never what I like, but I don’t even know what I like.”
Logan hummed in response, unsure of what he should say next. Roman was clearly in need of some comfort but Logan wasn’t good at that. So what advice could he give instead? Logan turned his gaze back to the empty journal his hand was fiddling with. An idea struck his mind. He picked up a pencil and the empty journal, pulling up the wheely chair that was meant for the desk and turning it to face the bed. Logan sat down in the chair and crossed his legs, opening the journal properly and writing something down. Roman sat up slowly and raised a brow, staring silently as Logan wrote.
Logan turned the journal around and showed Roman. On the top of the page it said ‘Things Roman Garcia Wants In A Man.’ Logan pushed up his glasses again. “Here, you list off some things you enjoy in a man or in people in general and I’ll list them down for you. That way, you can understand the non-physical bar you’re setting.” Logan turned the journal back to himself and wrote down the number one with a period setting apart whatever sentence would follow.
Roman let out a little sound of confusion, letting out an exhale. “Uhm… okay, I guess?…” Roman put his elbow onto his knee and leaned his head on his hand, thinking for a moment, gaze drifting off to the side. “I guess… I’d want a guy who’s smart, smarter than me anyway. I’d want him to be Harvard level but I’d settle for something below it.” Roman spoke out hesitantly.
Logan nodded, noting it down before moving on to write the number two. Looking back up at Roman, waiting for another example.
Roman looked back at Logan and then at the ground, sitting up straight and putting his hands on his knees, alright, they were really doing this… “Tall, I’d want a guy taller than me and maybe even stronger!… I’d still want to be the knight in shining armour of course, but no harm if the roles could be reversed every now and again.” Logan noted it down again, moving onto number three.
“Maybe… someone cool. No! Someone who tries to be cool but just ends up embarrassing himself!” Roman couldn’t help but giggle a little bit, he’d find it cute if his future boyfriend was like that. Logan nodded again and noted it down.
Four. “Someone who… listens to me. Who wouldn’t mind how fast I talk or how often I talk, yah know?” Roman cleared his throat a bit, looking back to Logan who noted it down. Roman was getting into a bit of a flow, words coming out more seamlessly as if he had the idea of what he wanted from the very beginning.
“Someone who enjoys my hobbies! He doesn’t have to be interested in them, but I’d… I’d like it if he indulged in them for me.” Roman took a small pause before continuing.
“Probably someone more calm than me, collected, someone who could reign me in if I get too reckless or mean. Having that anchor would be nice.” Roman paused. “But… also someone who could match my temper, who wouldn’t take bullshit and can be just as stubborn as me.” Roman nodded to himself, crossing his arms and legs, putting a hand to his chin.
“Someone… caring. Genuinely caring. Who takes care of himself but - of course - would go out of his way and inconvenience himself for my sake.” Roman chuckled to himself, “Basically someone who can be my knight in shining armour and then I can be the same back.”
Logan looked back up at Roman as he was taking a bit of a longer pause. Roman snapped his fingers “Oh! Somebody who shares my love of poetry! I’d love to talk about Shakespeare or Emily Dickinson and have them actually understand what I’m referencing!” Roman beamed and Logan wrote it down.
Ten. “And… uuggh, uhm…” Roman sighed, resting his head on his hand again. “Someone who… I would think to be out of my league but still suits me perfectly, yah know? I want them to shine with me rather than outshine me altogether." Roman sat in thought for a moment longer
“Is that all?” Logan raised a brow in question. Ten things listed, honestly half of these are bare minimum but I suppose it makes sense.
Roman sighed and then nodded “Yeah, can’t think of much else to be honest.” Roman shrugged, sitting up straight and then stretching. Logan stood up and nodded, closing the journal with the pencil in the middle and chucking it to Roman who barely managed to catch it
“You should be a lot more specific but it’s not a bad start. I’d say, whenever you have the time, list out things you’d want in a man and slowly get more specific with it over time.” Logan spoke calmly, giving rather solid advice. He moved to grab his jacket from the beanbag, it was getting late. “That way, you can build your ‘bar’ over time and find the perfect partner. You’ll just have to hope that your ‘perfect partner’ sees you as perfect as well. Not everything will be just right, you aren’t goldilocks, but you can certainly try.” He paused briefly.
“I would never recommend you genuinely give up. I understand love is important to you, so I’ll find ways to make sure you get what you want in a realistic way.” Logan finished, a small toothless smile on his face as his gaze settled on Roman, pupils dilating for a moment.
Roman stared at Logan, taking a mental note of how understanding Logan can be… His gaze felt less intense. It felt more like Logan was just looking out for Roman, it was comforting actually. “…Thanks.” Roman spoke out softly.
“You’re welcome, Roman. If you need anything else, I’ll be just a call away. I’ll probably be up for an hour or so longer, insomnia metaphorically kicks ass.” Logan sighed, rolling his eyes. “Farewell and Goodnight!” Logan spun on his heel and walked out from the bedroom, Roman watching with a gentle gaze as Logan left the apartment.
How has Roman never noticed how much effort Logan puts into caring for people? He may seem apathetic and monotone but he understands better than even Patton does! This was the best piece of advice Logan could’ve given, Patton would’ve just hugged him and told him to never give up. This could be a real solution.
Roman moved further onto his bed, back against the pillows as he leaned against the headboard. He opened the journal as the pencil fell onto his stomach, picking it up with his left hand. Logan’s handwriting was so readable, it was nice. Roman flipped to the next page, slowly writing out the number eleven with a period to separate it from the sentence. He wouldn’t mind his man to be a bit of a nerd.
“11. Nerdy.”