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I Kept My Promise

Summary:

Koichi Kizakura held his closest friend's hand. He rubbed his thumb against the fragile blue veins near his knuckles and squeezed his palm as tightly as possible. He watched as the person he cared about the most sobbed, his beautiful bloodshot eyes crying crystal tears, and his heart broken beyond repair. The man bent over, burying his pain in Kizakura's chest, getting the cheaply made flannel suit wet with tears. And the pale haired drunk, somehow sober, held him close, but his mind couldn't help but wander to places it shouldn't.

Notes:

What's up, everyone? I'm still not over Kizakura's death in the slightest. (even though Ruruka is my favorite Mirai-Hen character rip me) And I suddenly decided to write a fic about him because i'm still hurt, and then I started thinking about Jin/Kizakura and this happened! There's only two fics in the tag, so I decided that this was my chance! Are you ready for the angst? Alright, let's go! Don't be shy to leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoy!

Work Text:

Koichi Kizakura held his closest friend's hand. He rubbed his thumb against the fragile blue veins near his knuckles and squeezed his palm as tightly as possible. He watched as the person he cared about the most sobbed, his beautiful bloodshot eyes crying crystal tears, and his heart broken beyond repair. The man bent over, burying his pain in Kizakura's chest, getting the cheaply made flannel suit wet with tears. And the pale haired drunk, somehow sober, held him close, but his mind couldn't help but wander to places it shouldn't.

Kizakura was in love with Jin Kirigiri since his first year of high school. They were best friends and did everything together. But when Jin started dating this basic, boring girl and kissed her lips with such passion and affection, it made the normally relaxed boy want to vomit. Ever since he was sixteen years old, he wondered what Jin's lips tasted like. And at times, he found himself staring at him like a best friend wouldn't, having thoughts that would drive him mad. But he knew nothing would ever come out of this stupid crush of his, so as time progressed it became harder and harder to hide his urges with a smile.

After high school, Kizakura's feelings hadn't faded and he became more miserable every waking moment. He would follow Jin to the ends of the earth if it was his choice, but unfortunately for the love-struck boy, they were separated by different colleges. Jin went off several hours away to an equivalent to an Ivy League school, while Kizakura went to community college, with not a single clue of what he wanted to do with his life. They kept in touch, but slowly Kizakura could feel him slipping away. In a matter of months, Jin felt like a ghost to him.

It wasn't until Kizakura's mid-twenties that he saw him again. He was sitting alone in a booth at a small diner, his menu covering his sunken-in face, and when he looked up for a split second, there he was. Jin was sitting at a table near him, his dark hair glittering from the sunlight intruding from the window. Kizakura could swear, just by looking at him, that he could fall in love with him over and over for eternities. But every happy thought disappeared as he saw a beautiful silver haired woman sitting across from him. She said something in a soft, lovely voice and Jin smiled. Jin smiled more genuinely than Kizakura had ever seen, and that caused tears to form in his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to escape his feelings and run for it, but before he could reach the door, he heard Jin's voice calling his name. He couldn't ignore him, and the fact is, he never could. And when he sat down with the couple, he dug his fingernails into his palm, enough to draw blood. He learned that Jin and this woman were engaged to be married in the spring, and was asked to be Jin's best man after all those years. Kizakura wanted to say no, he wanted to say no more than anything. But he couldn't say no to Jin, and the fact is, he never could.

The night of their wedding, Kizakura gulped down every ounce of alcohol someone gave him. He didn't drink hardly at all before this night, but this despair inducing night changed everything. Instead of tasting Jin's lips against his own, he tasted whiskey. He tasted whiskey, beer, gin, wine, and liquor every day for the rest of his life. He drank it until he was bent over a toilet and he couldn't see Jin and his wife anymore. But his gluttony of alcohol didn't stop him from being by Jin's side. Jin still turned to Kizakura for his problems like the old days, and trusted him more than anyone. But that would, in the future, be Koichi Kizakura's downfall.

Jin and his wife were expecting a baby girl only a year after the wedding. Kizakura didn't care about kids very much, and he never wanted any of his own, but Jin personally asked him to be his daughter's godfather. And Jin's smile was so huge and full of joy that Kizakura couldn't decline. When Kyoko Kirigiri was born, he saw so many things in her that reminded him of Jin. He truthfully thought he hated kids until looking at her for the first time. And as the years passed and she grew into a strong little girl, he grew to love her almost as much as Jin. He would babysit her when her parents were away and she had some spunk, even as a little girl, that Kizakura loved a little too much. Even though he still harbored intense unrequited feelings for Kyoko's father, his adoration for her made him happy for once, it gave the alcoholic godfather hope. He even stopped drinking...mostly. But the happiness never lasted for long. When Kyoko turned four years old, her mother became fatally sick. For weeks, she lied in bed and Jin had to take off work to take care of her. Every shard of hope the Kirigiri family had soon died with her.

And now, Jin Kirigiri was in his best friend's arms, gripping his jacket in his hands and crying into his chest. Kizakura had his arms enveloped around Jin's frame and it wasn't obvious, but he was crying too. He couldn't bear to see his friend, the one thing that mattered to him more than anything, so broken. He knew he couldn't do anything to help him and that broke his heart most of all. He could only hold him in silence, every emotion he ever felt towards Jin running through his head and torturing him. He wanted to do so much, say so much, and this intimacy made him go crazy. Kizakura took a deep breath and pressed his thin lips to Jin's head as platonically as possible, accidentally whispering out an "I love you" softly against the dark hair he admired for so many years. Jin then grew quiet and raised his head up, looking up at Kizakura with his cheeks still wet with tears. He didn't speak a word before placing his hand on the other man's chin, spotted with stubble and leaned forward, kissing him.

Kizakura's eyes shot wide open. Suddenly the repercussions of his feelings hit him like a bus. He couldn't do this. He couldn't do this right after his wife died. No matter what his heart was saying, his brain was screaming for him to stop. So he placed his hands on Jin's chest and gently pushed him away, choking out the words, "I can't."

"Koichi, I-I need you."

"No. You need your wife. I'm just here and you need somebody. I'm a placeholder."

"Please. Please just stay with me." Jin's voice was desperate and breathless, his hands helplessly gripping at Kizakura's collar.

And Koichi Kizakura couldn't tell him no, he never could. He took off his fedora and placed his hands on Jin's shoulders, slowly leaning him back on the couch that the two sat on. Jin nuzzled his head into Kizakura's neck and they both feel asleep with the sweet taste of each other's lips on their tongues.

As many seasons passed, they fell in love all over again. Jin mourned his wife's death, but kissed his best friend, his new lover every morning when they sent Kyoko to school. He raised his daughter with this man who comforted him in every time of need, who he hated himself for not loving earlier. Kizakura had a teaching degree from community college, so when Jin was appointed the new headmaster of Hope's Peak Academy, Kizakura followed him. They had to keep their relationship a secret from their colleagues, but didn't mind having a quickie in Jin's office at any moment possible. Kizakura would make up any shit story to get away from the kids of the 77th class to spend some time with Jin, even using his previous alcoholism as an excuse. Jin Kirigiri made him sober, gave him his life back, and made him the happiest man alive.

When the world fell apart, Koichi Kizakura watched his happiness die on live television. He saw the love of his life get executed right in front of his eyes. And he prayed he wouldn't watch his daughter have the same fate. The daughter that Kizakura swore to protect with his life, he promised Jin that and he would die before breaking that promise. He started drinking again and spent his current life bent over a toilet, vomiting away every ounce of pain and helplessness he felt. That is, until he found out that the girl he raised, the girl with her father's eyes, and the girl that he promised he'd protect worked at the Future Foundation.

Jin Kirigiri trusted Koichi Kizakura more than anyone in his life and Kizakura could never tell him no. And now the alcoholic deadbeat of a human who tried his hardest to be what Jin wanted was falling through a hole in the floor. He had sacrificed his own life for Kyoko's, his daughter. As well as the blood that streamed from his left eye, tears painted his cheeks. He felt the cold hands of death wrap around him, as his last thoughts flashed across his mind. Every memory of Jin blessed his last moments on Earth as he looked up at Kyoko.

"Well....I kept....my promise....Jin."