Chapter Text
Ivan stares at the eviction notice. His hands are shaking.
He hasn’t eaten in a few days, so that might be why.
Does it even matter anymore?
He can’t keep doing this. Living is just one continuous river of agony.
The scars on his arms are proof. So are the fresh cuts.
But he doesn’t care.
He just starts walking up the rooftop staircase. It feels like it takes hours. Maybe it does. He isn’t sure. Everything is so fuzzy nowadays.
The door is too loud. The moon is too bright. Everything is too much.
The cold air burns his lungs. He can barely breathe.
He needs his legacy. He needs to be remembered for something. He needs to be important to Andrew—
It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter who remembers him. He just needs someone to remember.
He’s too caught up in his thoughts, standing there at the edge of the building to hear the stairwell door open.
He only notices when someone pulls him away from his legacy.
Ivan wants to struggle away from them. But he doesn’t have the energy. Not anymore.
He recognizes their hands. His hands.
Andrew.
He doesn’t know why Andrew is here. He should be furious, furious that Andrew keeps taking away his chance at a legacy, but all he feels is bone-deep exhaustion.
Oh. He’s crying. He didn’t realize until he felt tears on his cheeks.
What…
What is he doing?
Ivan doesn’t know anymore. He falls limp against Andrew, who doesn’t even seem angry. He can’t really tell.
Andrew rocks him back and forth, and they’re both shaking.
Neither of them say anything. There’s no words for I almost lost my best friend(???) other than the words themselves.
“Why are you here…?” Ivan rasps eventually, not even bothering to look at Andrew. His jaw still sort of aches from when he was punched. He barely remembers how long ago that was.
“Gut feeling,” Andrew murmurs against Ivan’s hair. He doesn’t elaborate further.
Ivan’s still freezing. He doesn’t get any warmth from Andrew’s body. He isn’t sure why. Maybe he doesn’t deserve warmth.
“Gonna stand up now,” Andrew grunts, dragging Ivan to his feet.
Ivan stumbles, but doesn’t fall yet. Yet.
Andrew has to guide him back to his apartment. Pauses when he sees the eviction notice.
“I’ll be fine,” Ivan mutters. He has to be. He can’t be a leech. Can’t be a terrible friend. Can’t be Andrew’s friend.
He doesn’t hear Andrew’s reply. Just stands there as he starts packing Ivan’s things for him.
He doesn’t ask what he’s doing. He knows, and he hates himself for letting Andrew take care of him when he doesn’t fucking deserve it.
Down the elevator to Andrew’s car. He sits in the back, as far away from Andrew as he can get.
Ivan’s eyes slip shut.