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On the third night of Pony being gone, Darry woke to the sounds of a scream.
For on agonizing moment he forgot that his baby brother wasn't home. But it all came crashing back almost immediately.
That meant it was Soda but he never had nightmares like that.
Darry scrambled out of bed and rushed to the room his brothers shared. He pushed the door open to see Sodapop curled in on himself, shaking. His eyes were squeezed shut tight and he was crying. Darry rushed to him.
"Pony?" Soda asked hopefully, bolting upright when Darry put a hand on his arm.
Darry's heart squeezed in his chest. "No baby he's not here."
Soda's face crumpled and fresh tears trailed down his cheeks. "I keep thinking what if he's hurt and he can't get help and he's alone what if he never comes back if we never seen him again what if he's gone for good what if he's dea-" His sentence choked off into a sob and he hid his face in his hands.
Darry felt like his heart was shattering. He knew Soda was struggling but he didn't realize how bad it had gotten.
Darry wrapped his arms tightly around his brother and Soda clung to him like he was going to leave too if he let go. Soda sobbed into his shirt, sounding like the world was ending.
Darry just hugged him tighter, rubbing his back and rocking him like he hadn't done in a long time.
When the sobs slowly petered out Soda spoke again. "I'm scared Dar. I'm so scared. I need him to come back. I need to know that he's okay."
Darry pulled back and cupped Soda's face in his hands. "Listen to me. Pony is fine. I know he is. We will find him. He will come back to us. I promise. Okay?"
Soda nodded and then buried his face into Darry's shirt again.
Darry felt tears pricking his own eyes because he was just as scared as Soda but he wouldn't let his brother see that. He needed to be strong. Darry had to believe that Ponboy was safe otherwise he didn't think he would be able to keep going.
"I miss him so much," Soda whispered.
"I know baby, I know. I do too."
They sat like that for a long time, Darry holding Soda and running a hand through his hair, trying to calm him down.
When he was sure that Soda had fallen asleep again, only then did Darry let himself cry.