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“LIAR!”
The roared accusation stabbed Natsu in the chest as he staggered away from his boyfriend. A look of immense aggression and hatred Natsu had only seen against their worst enemies filled cold onyx eyes with fiery rage as Gray’s whole body shook. Turning to the side a pained expression washed over Gray’s face before he turned back to face Natsu, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. A sadistic chuckle slipped through his lips which quickly turned into choked sobs.
“Why the fuck did I think you would be any different.” His voice was softer now, resigned to his fate, which was terrifying compared to the raw anger a few moments ago. “You of all people, of course you’d fuck me over the hardest. You stupid flame-brained bastard. Did you really mean anything you said to me?”
Words crackled and died at the back of Natsu’s throat as he struggled to put his feelings into words.
“Did you ever even love me?”
“Gray I do love you! It’s just…”
“So why are you abandoning me? Why are you choosing to follow the pattern when you know this is the same thing that has happened to me all my fucking life? Every single fucking person I love sacrifices themselves for me and leaves. I can’t take it happening again... I can’t, no, I won’t survive.”
Tears cascaded down Natsu’s cheeks as guilt wracked his trembling body. Fists so tight with determination his nails dug into the soft flesh of his palms helping to ground himself once more, he shook his head in resolve. Nervously he glanced over at the path he was headed down before Gray had stopped him. It led straight to Zeref and certain death but if everyone else, if his family, his mate were safe then it would be worth it.
“You have to. You’re going to survive because I promise I’m going to defeat Zeref. There’s no other way. It has to be me.”
“Why? You know you need help so why aren’t you letting me come with you? I know you’re hiding something from me Natsu. I can see through your lies by now. Don’t you fucking trust me?”
“…I can’t tell you.”
Averting his eyes Natsu’s expression turned sombre. He couldn’t tell Gray the truth about what he was. It was disgusting. He was disgusting. And worst of all, he was the one thing in this world that Gray had sworn to destroy, except that learning who E.N.D. truly was would surely destroy Gray first. This was the only way. Be killed and in turn kill Zeref and save Fiore while also destroying E.N.D. and everyone who knew about it except Happy of course. The little blue cat wouldn’t dare taint the fond memories of Natsu with the bitter truth especially where it concerned Gray. This was the one secret he could be trusted to keep. Natsu had made up his mind.
“Gray I have to do this. It’s for everyone’s sake why can’t you underst-”
“LIAR! STOP LYING TO ME FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” He roared before his voice cracked and he began again, this time bitter and cold. “You’re not doing this for everyone, you’re being selfish. Not wanting to cope with the consequences or losses of this war because your life will be one of them. Leaving everyone alone after they fought so hard for you, for us. You’re abandoning me. You promised we would stay together forever and now you’re ripping apart the foundations of our relationship, our trust, just before you fucking destroy yourself? I didn’t fall in love with this Natsu.”
The harsh words caused Natsu’s lips to quiver even more as he took a shaky step forward, closing the distance between them with a chaste kiss. Pulling back he looked up at Gray’s broken exterior, his inner self writhing with the anguish of harming his one true love so much. He closed the gap once again, cold chapped lips sticking to his own as he grasped desperately onto Gray’s shoulders. Shuddering slightly at the familiar touch, Gray wrapped his arms protectively around Natsu’s back and neck, tears trickling through closed eyelids. Cool drips trailed down Natsu’s face but it was only when he tasted salt that he realised Gray was crying. Leaning even further into his mate, Natsu deepened the kiss as his hands shifted to wipe at the tears still falling from Gray’s eyes. Ragged breaths intermingled between the two as neither dared to pull away to breathe even for a second.
Parts of the kiss were sweet and soft, both leaning their heads so their lips comfortably shifted against each other while others were frantic and vicious, noses smashed into the other’s face as they still attempted to get closer, never quite reaching the level of unity they wanted. Both took rapid mental notes of what was likely to be their last embrace before eventually they pulled away from each other and Natsu hung his head in regret.
“I have to go.” He mumbled, his usual determination and bravery had dissipated with the realisation he would never see Gray again. “I love you Gray. Always have, always will.” Head still hung low he turned around and began trudging forward before arms wrapped around his waist dragging him backwards into his lover’s chest.
“Please don’t go.” Tremors shook Gray’s body with such force that Natsu’s motion sickness almost kicked in or was it some other disgusting form of fear nestling in his stomach. “I’ll do anything to stay with you. Let me come. I’ll do iced shell all three of us will be there together. If you’re so intent on dying at least let me come with you Natsu.”
“You’d be wasting your life.”
“You’re wasting yours.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“Liar.”
“You wanna give your life away for a liar like me?”
“Dyou even have to ask?”
Raw passion filled emerald eyes as he turned eventually to give Gray a bittersweet smile, reaching out to take a trebling hand. Fingers intertwined they walked along the rocky path, fear ebbing away now that they had each other for company and support, for now and always.