Archive of Our Own

In a world where everyone is born with a soulmate, not caring about one is not an option. It's strange. Unnatural.

All his life, Yoonhwan has heard over and over again about how he's supposed to love his soulmate, love them, and make them happy. After all, they're a perfect match. They're supposed to make each other's lives better.

He has seen soulmates all around him.

His parents, his grandparents, his relatives, neighbours, and friends. They're all happy. They're all always happy, so he can only wonder what the hell is wrong with him that he feels nothing but dread when he sees the name engraved on him.

Kim Iseul.

The name on him is beautiful, and it's supposed to make him feel happy and excited. But every time he looks at the dark letters neatly placed on his shoulder, apprehension fills him.

When he was younger, he told himself that it was anxiety, but he's older now, knows himself better and is actually ready to come to terms with his emotions. So he knows it's not anxiety. It's unease.

He doesn't want to meet his soulmate.

Yoonhwan doesn't have anything against them, of course. He hasn't even met the person, but he doesn't know how to explain that he simply doesn't want to. He doesn't want to fall in love with a person predestined for him by the universe.

He knows people date, that there are people who go out with others before meeting their soulmate, and Yoonhwan has, too. He has met people, laughed with them, held them close, liked them, loved them.

But those feelings are never reciprocated, not fully.

They're always just experiencing a moment of joy with him before they find their soulmate and forget about him entirely. None of his past partners loved him as much as he loved them.

Yoonhwan doesn't have any ill feelings towards them, though. Because, of course, they prioritise their soulmate. That's how the whole world is. In fact, he's the odd one.

It's tiring and lonely. Being like this, but Yoonhwan has long since stopped trying to fix himself. He has accepted the fact that there are cracks in his soul that he can't repair, and he'll always be like this.

Maybe he'll get all better once he does meet his soulmate, but that has yet to happen, and frankly, he doesn't have much hope. He knows himself. He knows that he won't be able to like a person simply on the account of them being his soulmate.

Yoonhwan wholeheartedly wishes he doesn't ever meet them, and maybe that makes him a terrible person, but he doesn't care.

It certainly doesn't help that his heart constricts painfully each time he looks at Nara, and helplessly, fruitlessly, wishes that the name on him belonged to the older man.

It's a hopeless crush.

But who can blame Yoonhwan?

Nara is a beautiful man. He had noticed it the moment his eyes fell on the older man during the script reading. He sat quite a few seats away from Yoonhwan, but his eyes still found Nara, as if it were inevitable.

Oh, how Yoonhwan wishes it were inevitable.

He wishes it were as inevitable as the way Hyunwook and Jihoon finding each other was. Yoonhwan has known about them for a while. Hyunwook told him almost immediately as they got close, and even if he didn't know the way they look at each other makes it very clear.

It's sweet, and it makes Yoonhwan as happy as it makes him long for something like that. Not a soulmate, simply a love like that.

It's ironic, considering the characters they're playing – an impossible love between two soulmates. A doomed story of two people who should've been inevitable.

The script reading ends without any trouble, but also without him getting to talk to Nara even once. Yoonhwan tries to tell himself that it's a good thing, that having a crush on a coworker never ended well for anyone, and he doesn't need to add this to all the problems he already has with his love life.

But there's no problem with him following the older man on Instagram, right? It's fine, since he's following everyone else, too. It's perfectly normal. And if he scrolls through the older man's account with his burner, well, no one has to know that.

When he gets added to the group chat with the other actors, he politely introduces himself and makes small talk. There's not much he can tell from the way they text, but it still helps him gauge a bit of their personalities.

Nara is definitely an excitable person.

It's endearing and makes Yoonhwan smile to himself as he reads the texts, but his face falls when he realises what he's doing. He tosses his phone away and slaps his face several times. What the fuck. He needs to get a grip.

He says that to himself a few times, but doesn't pick his phone up again. As a precaution.

But when Nara texts him about a week later, it takes him less than a minute to text back. It's embarrassing, really, but Yoonhwan doesn't wanna talk about it.

nara hyung

hi

are you free to talk rn?

oh hyung

hi

yeah i am

if you're free sometime this
week do you wanna practice our
scenes together?

i usually practice the scenes
beforehand at least once before
shooting starts

Yoonhwan stares at the text for several seconds, and blinks and blinks and blinks. He's so, so glad this conversation isn't happening face to face because he just knows he'd look like a complete idiot if it did.

yeah sure hyung

works for me

thats great ^^!!

how about this wednesday?

sounds good

just send me the location
and time hyung

alright! seeya this wednesday then

Yoonhwan puts his phone down and takes a deep breath. His face is flushed in a way he refuses to acknowledge, and he is biting down on his lips to stop himself from smiling, but this means nothing.

Nara is just cute.

That's all.

Fuck.

Wednesday comes, and Yoonhwan finds himself sitting in a corner booth of a small cafe. The place is almost empty at that time of the day when the sun is high and everyone is either at work or school.

Yoonhwan has never practised one on one with anyone like this before filming even started, so it takes him a second to get into the rhythm, but the older man is unfairly patient with him. It does things to his heart.

They practice their lines, reenact the scenes the best they can with limited space, discuss the characters and their actions, and don't even realise when they end up spending hours in their little booth.

"It's almost dinner time," Nara mumbles sheepishly as he checks the time. "I kept you here for so long. Sorry about that."

But Yoonhwan shakes his head. "No, hyung. I had fun practising with you. It was really productive, so don't feel bad."

Nara still looks like he feels a little bad, and asks, "How about I treat you to dinner? To make up for it?"

Yoonhwan knows that Nara is only asking that because he feels guilty about keeping him here the whole day, but Yoonhwan doesn't have enough dignity to decline. "Sure, hyung," he says, plastering a smile on his face that's more genuine than it should be, considering the circumstances.

They go to a nice family restaurant, and this time, the conversation is more lighthearted as they leave behind work and talk about a little more personal stuff.

Honestly, they mostly share pictures and anecdotes of their cats, but he can't say that he doesn't have fun. The best thing is that every little thing he gets to learn about Nara. About how he needs reading glasses, how he subconsciously taps his nails on the table, how he has a big appetite, and how his voice goes higher when he's excited.

Yoonhwan soaks it all up like a sponge.

For the next few times they meet up, Soobin joins them, too, and Yoonhwan doesn't mind. He's glad, actually, because then he can actually keep his pesky little feelings in check. The three of them get close fast, faster than any of them probably anticipated, and despite the unwelcome feelings, he is happy to gain two friends he cherishes.

The Japan trip comes off as a surprise. Yoonhwan doesn't know why he suggests it. He isn't even drunk — only a little tipsy — when he brings it up, and the other two, arguably more drunk than he, agree.

He doesn't expect any of them to remember this conversation the next morning, but all of them do, and then suddenly, he's on a plane to Japan.

The trip might be the worst idea Yoonhwan has ever come up with.

It's not to say that he doesn't enjoy his time with the other two; he quite obviously does. They walk around, taste different foods and drinks, and click a lot of pictures; it's fun. If he now has a whole album full of pictures of Nara, no one has to know.

The problem is well… Nara.

He is just–just so pretty. Him in his soft clothing, laughing freely, his face bright with excitement. Yoonhwan really can't deal with it. His crush is getting worse, and it's at the point where he genuinely feels like he's going to combust if he looks at Nara for a second too long.

There are times when his heart beats so fast that Yoonhwan actually considers if he might be having a heart attack.

But once he returns home, the restless energy inside him settles, and Yoonhwan goes back to being his usual self.

How the hell is he going to handle months of filming and then promotions if he can't handle a week long trip? Don't ask him. He doesn't fucking know.

Yoonhwan has a few months to build up his immunity; otherwise, he's fucked. One might be curious: what is he going to do to build said immunity? Stare at all the pictures of Nara he took, obviously. Not in a creepy way; in an exposure therapy way.

Yoonhwan goes to the first day of the set all pumped up and ready to not be a loser. And then he sees Nara.

He's wearing a fluffy grey jacket, earmuffs, and gloves that look incredibly soft, and despite that, his cheeks and nose are flushed red. Yoonhwan can feel the way his heart skips a beat and his breath stutters in his chest.

He's so fucked.

Acting is awkward. It always is with all the cameras directed at him and the mic that always feels like it's going to hit him in the face, and with Nara around, Yoonhwan can barely focus. It doesn't help that the scenes with Nara are all so intense.

Humin and Baekjin are rough characters. It's not that Yoonhwan hasn't played complicated and tragic characters before, but their situation hits a little too close to home. Still, he enjoys it. Even with the chilly weather and the difficult scenes, working next to someone he… uh… appreciates is amazing.

Nara is a clingy person, and Yoonhwan feels a little bad about enjoying his closeness — feels like he's taking advantage of the other man — right up until he sees that Nara is clingy with everyone. Then Yoonhwan is back to trying to enjoy the fleeting touches that aren't even special to him.

He's being a little ridiculous, he knows. Crushes tend to do that to him.

"It's Junyoung and Minjae's birthday next week," Nara says as he sits next to him.

Yoonhwan hums and looks at Nara. "Their birthdays are close. How cute."

Nara chuckles and nods. "Do you think they're soulmates?"

"That'd have to be the case, right?" he says. "With the way they're skirting around each other."

But Nara shakes his head. "I don't know about Minjae, but Junyoung doesn't really care about stuff like that. If he likes someone, he pursues them."

He pauses, hearing that. "Hyung doesn't care about soulmates?"

"Well, it's not that," Nara says. "We haven't talked about this, so I'm just saying what I've noticed, but Junyoung doesn't need the person he likes to be his soulmate. Among everyone I've ever met, I've never seen someone care as little about soulmate connections as him."

The last sentence is said with a laugh, and he is probably joking, but Yoonhwan can't help but fixate on it a little.

He's not ignorant; he knows there are people who live perfectly well without their soulmates and find love and connection outside of it. There are people who never find their soulmates, and people who lose them too soon.

And, of course, there are people who reject the connection or are indifferent to it, though that's a rare sight in Korea.

He wonders what it's like. To not feel guilty about rejecting the connection.

"It's sad for his soulmate then, isn't it?" he mutters, and only after saying that, Yoonhwan realises he's talked aloud. "Oh–I! I didn't mean to say that out loud. Shit."

But Nara only laughs a little and shrugs, "You're fine. You're right, too. It is sad for his soulmate because he has dated a lot, and many people don't like that, but you can't just live for someone else. Especially someone you've never even met. Also, soulmate or not, I doubt Minjae will care. Considering how he looks at Junyoung."

Yoonhwan snorts and nods in agreement.

"Ah, I gotta go. It's my scene now," Nara says. He stands up and pats Yoonhwan on his shoulder before shooting him a smile and leaving.

His shoulder remains warm for the rest of the day.

Everyone around him is falling in love, while Yoonhwan is being more pathetic than he has ever been in his life.

He wonders how Nara feels about soulmates. Wonders if he can ask the older man about it without seeming weird.

Yoonhwan thinks about it for days, wastes his week long break thinking about it, and then decides to shove the idea down to the deepest part of his mind so that it never resurfaces. If Nara says that, yes, he does in fact care about soulmates and can't even imagine being with anyone that's not his soulmate, Yoonhwan will genuinely drop from the face of the earth, and he has put too much effort into growing his career to leave it all behind now.

(At some point, he'll have to accept that his feelings are much, much deeper than a crush, but that time is not now.)

Yoonhwan is glad that he's an actor because that's the only reason he's able to keep all his emotions from showing on his face all the time. The last thing he wants is to make things awkward between them.

Celebrating Minjae's birthday is fun and provides a much needed break from the stress of filming. Yoonhwan laughs freely as they smear cake all over Minjae's face, and he lets them do it, smiling and giddy. But Yoonhwan still sees how his eyes stray for someone who's not there, and feels a twinge of sympathy for him.

The next day, when everyone wishes Junyoung, Yoonhwan sees Minjae see the texts, but does not say anything.

He hopes they don't break up over this. Wait, are they even together? Not that it's any of his business, but it doesn't stop him from being curious anyway.

During the next shoot, Yoonhwan gets his answer.

Minjae comes to the set holding a coffee cup and a small cake box. Yoonhwan stands on the other end of the set as he sees Junyoung approach the younger man; Minjae is practically pouring stars and hearts from his eyes for the entire conversation, while his face is a concerning shade of red.

Suddenly, a hand cups his cheek and turns his face around.

"Stop looking," Nara says, and Yoonhwan's eyes widen. But the hand disappears before he can make anything of it.

"Sorry," he whispers, winded. He takes a deep breath before continuing. "I was just curious. Because… you know."

Nara huffs. "I do know. God, I wonder how long they are gonna dance around each other like this."

"They're being cute," Yoonhwan grins. "Even though their feelings are kinda bleeding into their roles."

Nara snickers. "That's true."

Yoonhwan wonders if their characters' bonded fate can bleed into his and Nara's unbonded one, but the thought doesn't last longer than a second before Yoonhwan shakes it off because that's the worst thing to manifest. Why on earth would he do that?

The longer the shoot goes on, the deeper his feelings get. Yoonhwan can't even lie to himself and say that he has everything completely under control when he really, really doesn't. He looks at Nara once, and his brain goes haywire.

And as if Yoonhwan isn't already having a difficult time with his life, there comes the time to shoot the fight scene.

Yoonhwan is a nervous mess while Nara is almost vibrating in excitement.

He tries to put on a smile for the older man, but Nara sees right through him. "Are you nervous?" he asks Yoonhwan.

He sighs, "It's an intense scene."

Nara nods in agreement. "It is, but we practised a lot for it, so I'm sure we'll be fine."

Yoonhwan hums. "Wanna go for lunch after the shoot?"

"Oh!" Nara is rightfully surprised at the suddenness of the question. Yoonhwan wasn't really thinking clearly before blurting it out. "Just the two of us?"

Yoonhwan inhales sharply and swallows deeply. "Yeah," he replies. "Just the two of us."

Nara stares at him for entirely too long, and the crack of rejection already starts forming on Yoonhwan's heart. He's about to take his words back when Nara replies, "Alright, sounds good. Can I choose the place?"

Yoonhwan's shoulder sag in relief, and he nods, "Yeah, sure, hyung. I'll pay, though."

"That's not happening," Nara chuckles, and Yoonhwan smiles at him.

"We'll see about that."

The fight scene takes several takes, with them applying water and altering special effects constantly, so it eases the anxiousness Yoonhwan was feeling around the scene. Everything goes smoothly, in the end, much to everyone's delight.

"See, I told you everything would be fine," Baekjin says to him after they've both changed out of the costumes.

"You did," Yoonhwan smiles. "And you were right."

"I usually am," Nara shrugs, giggling, and Yoonhwan feels his heart constrict. God, he's in so deep. There's no way out of this anymore. He either faces his feelings or runs from them.

Nara takes him to a nice Italian place for lunch, and they end up staying there much longer than intended. But once they start talking, it's just hard to stop. Conversation flows comfortably, and not once does some sort of awkward silence fall over them.

Yoonhwan doesn't know how Nara does it, making every place so comfortable. It makes Yoonhwan glad that even though the things he feels for the older man are troublesome, complicated, and often leave his head aching, it's him that Yoonhwan likes so much.

After that day, they went out for lunch and dinner a few more times together, just the two of them. Both of them call it "hanging out" and not what they actually are.

But after filming ends, all of it comes to a halt.

Yoonhwan knew this would happen, but it still sends him reeling.

He saw Nara almost every day at work for months, and suddenly, he's gone. They still talk, sometimes, and have even gone out to eat together a few times, too, and that's the only proof that Yoonhwan isn't being forgotten.

It's not the same, though, and he can't even say anything about it.

That's why Yoonhwan is more than a little excited to start promotions.

WHC actors gc 🏫

hyunwook:
are you guys excited to start promos?

yeap

minjae:
no

junyoung hyung:
minjae

minjae:
yes

minyoung:
its gonna be sooooo tiring
but im excited too

hyunwook:
so are we just going to ignore that..

junyoung hyung:
yeah

hyunwook:
ah
mustve been the wind

it'll be nice to see everyone
again

minjae:
aww hyung did you miss us?

not you

minjae:
rude
i didnt miss you either

nara hyung 💌:
i've never done such a long promo for
a drama so i'm really looking forward
to it

it'll be fun hyung

i'm sure you'll enjoy it

hyunwook:
have fun working hard guys

jihoon:
someone kick hyunwook out of
this gc

what is he even doing here

hyunwook:
HYUNG?!?!?!?

jihoon has removed "hyunwook" from WHC actors gc 🏫

As fun as promotions can be, Yoonhwan can't deny that they're also incredibly tiring. He has to watch his words and expression at all times because even one tiny mistake can have heavy consequences.

On top of that, he doesn't even have that man shoot with Nara. Things couldn't get worse for him. The most interaction he has with Nara nowadays is when they text each other privately, but with their busy schedules, that's not a common occurrence.

It makes him think about what will happen once the promotions officially end, and they no longer have any reasons left to keep in contact. They'll both get busy with other projects and their lives, they'll grow distant, and eventually, Nara will forget about him.

Yoonhwan can't see things going any other way.

So he makes sure to fully enjoy every moment he gets to spend with Nara.

The drama does well, and the promos end successfully, and despite the dread of losing Nara that fills him, he feels a sense of joy and relief, too. This project is something he put a lot of hard work into, so of course, it's special to him.

And even if he never talks to Nara again, he'll have the good memories.

Nara seems to have other plans, though.

nara hyung 💌

hwan-ah

you busy?

can you talk rn?

yeah hyung what is it?

soooooo

one of my friends is performing
in a musical and gave me two tickets

would you like to go with me?

me?

i mean just us two?

you wanna go with me?

yep!

but

why me?

wouldn't minjae or junyoung
hyung have better knowledge of
musicals?

you don't wanna?

i do

then whats the issue

you dont need knowledge to watch
a musical you just gotta enjoy it

so you in?

yeah

yeah im in

good

i'll pick you up at 5 this tuesday

seeya on teusday hyung

For the next few days, till Tuesday, Yoonhwan is buzzing with restless energy. He can't sit still for more than five minutes. All he can think about is their… date. It's a date, right? He doesn't know.

"Hyung, if it looks like a date, walks like a date, and quacks like a date, it's a date," Minjae says, and Yoonhwan immediately regrets his decision to call the younger man.

"You say the weirdest stuff," he sighs.

"You asked," Minjae deadpans. "And I'm not the one panicking over being asked out when you clearly did get asked out in the most obvious and straightforward way. Are you always like this?"

"No," Yoonhwan grumbles. "I don't—I'm usually the one to approach people first."

"So what the hell is going on right now?" Minjae asks.

"It's different," he says. "I like him way more than I liked any of my exes. Actually, I might like him a little too much, and it's just—I know it'll hurt a lot when it ends."

"Whoa, whoa, hit the brakes. What the fuck are you talking about?" Minjae exclaims. "Why are you thinking about things ending when nothing has even started yet?"

"Is that not obvious? We aren't soulmates," Yoonhwan says. He tries not to let the words hurt him, but they do, still.

Minjae is silent for some time before he sighs, "Hyung. That–that doesn't matter."

"What would you know?" Yoonhwan unintentionally snaps, and then immediately regrets it. "I–shit, I'm sorry. You're just… you're with your soulmate, Minjae."

"It wasn't—we didn't always know that," Minjae confesses, and Yoonhwan makes a confused sound.

"What do you mean?" he questions.

"Uhhh, we didn't initially know that we were soulmates. Or well, I knew. I thought it was an unrequited bond—"

"What!"

"Yeah, it was a whole mess. Long story. The gist is, it doesn't fucking matter. You like him, he likes you. That's it. Stop ruining it by overthinking," Minjae tells him. "Don't think about breakups already, what the hell. The point is, enjoy your damn date, bone or whatever, and stop pining all the time."

"You're horrible at giving advice," Yoonhwan tells the younger man, even though he already feels lighter.

"Yeah, that's why you shouldn't ask me this stuff. I have literally never dated anyone in my life before Jun hyung," Minjae says in exasperation.

Yoonhwan huffs out a laugh. "Thanks, though. I feel better."

"Well, good. Now, go get ready. Isn't he gonna pick you up in like an hour or so?" Minjae asks him, and Yoonhwan finally notices the time.

"Oh, shit! Yeah, yeah, bye, Minjae. Thanks again, really," he says before hanging the call up.

Yoonhwan doesn't know what to wear to a musical, and it's a little late to ask Nara. He stares blankly at his wardrobe for a while before choosing to wear a pair of light washed jeans, a thin black jumper, and a black jacket over it.

He only puts a little bit of makeup before fixing his hair and applying some perfume. Yoonhwan looks into the mirror, and okay, he looks decent. This is fine.

He doesn't have the time to ponder on it more because right then, Nara calls him.

Yoonhwan scrambles to pick it up. "Hello, hyung. Are you here?"

"Yeah, I'm downstairs," Nara says.

"Ah, okay. I'll be down in five minutes," he says and Nara hums.

He practically runs out of his place to get to the lift. Yoonhwan finds Nara waiting for him under the building, standing by his car. He perks up at the sight of Yoonhwan and waves, and while trying to calm his racing heart, Yoonhwan returns it.

"Hi, hyung," he says once he's close to Nara.

Nara smiles at him. "Hey, Hwan-ah." His eyes trail down for a moment before meeting his again. "You look good."

Yoonhwan's face warms. "Thanks, hyung. You look good, too."

Nara is dressed in soft, muted greys, and it makes Yoonhwan want to hug him. Instead, he gets into the car, and the older man starts driving.

On the way, Nara asks, "Did you have lunch? I didn't want you sitting there hungry."

"I ate, hyung. Don't worry about me," he replies. "I looked into the play, and it really looks interesting. I'm excited for it."

Nara brightens at hearing that. "I really hope you enjoy it; it's one of my favourites, but if you don't make sure to tell me."

Yoonhwan shakes his head. "I'm sure I will."

"It's not gonna hurt my feelings or anything," Nara huffs. "So be honest with me. Then next time we can watch something else."

Next time.

Okay.

Wow.

Fuck.

"Okay," he mumbles, voice a little strained. "But I still think I'll enjoy it."

"Alright, alright," Nara laughs. He reaches out and pats Yoonhwan's head and says, "You're so cute," before going back to focusing on the road. Yoonhwan might die before they even reach the theatre.

They sit almost at the very front of the theatre, and it makes him a little nervous.

"Don't worry, it'll be too dark for anyone to see us," Nara reassures him, and Yoonhwan's shoulders slump a little.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get too anxious," he mumbles, and Nara squeezes his arm.

"You're fine."

The lights dim, and Yoonhwan settles back into his chair. He places his hand on the armrest, and his pinky brushes against Nara's. Yoonhwan swallows heavily but doesn't move his hand; Nara doesn't either.

He takes a few deep breaths, and just as he's about to stop freaking out, Nara moves his finger a little. They trail over Yoonhwan's fingers before slipping in between him. His breath hitches, but his eyes stay stuck on the stage in front of him. He can't look at Nara right now; if he does, he'll do something stupid, like run away.

Their hands stay intertwined for the entire play, and honestly, that's all Yoonhwan can focus on. He has no idea what's going on on the stage, and as terrible as he feels about it, he just can't focus.

It's not that he doesn't try. He does. He tries his best to focus, but is only able to catch snippets of the show before his mind inevitably fixates on their intertwined fingers once again.

"Did you like it?" Nara asks him after they leave the theatre, and he looks so excited that Yoonhwan feels absolutely horrible.

"I–I'll be honest, I couldn't focus on it at all," he replies, crestfallen.

Nara stares at him, and Yoonhwan winces, thinking he's upset the older man, but then his lips twitch and he bursts out laughing. "Oh my god, Hwan-ah! You're so cute!"

"Ah, hyung!" Yoonhwan whines. "Don't make fun of me like that."

"I'm not, I'm not," Nara laughs. "You're just—you're really so cute. What do I even do with you?"

"It's all your fault anyway," Yoonhwan grumbles.

Nara squeezes his hand — still clasped together — and says, "It's okay, we can always come and watch it again."

Yoonhwan swallows, "Yeah, that'd be nice."

Nara hums, "Wanna get dinner together?" he asks. "It's still a little early, but if that's not a problem—"

"It's not," Yoonhwan quickly says. "Dinner sounds great."

Nara grins at him brightly. "There's a great sashimi place around here. That, and some soju would be great, don't you think?"

"Mhm, sounds good to me," Yoonhwan says.

The sashimi place Nara takes them to is already filled with people, and there's only one table empty. Yoonhwan feels a familiar lick of anxiety at being seen by so many people, but Nara hasn't let go of his hand yet, so he tries to calm himself down.

They sit and order their food, but Yoonhwan can't stop fiddling around.

"Too many people?" Nara asks when he sees Yoonhwan look around constantly.

"Ah, it's—sorry," he mutters. "I'm just worried about possible backlash. Since we're not soulmates. A lot of people still care about things like that."

Nara's lips jut out into a small put and he tilts his head. "I didn't know you cared about things like that."

"I don't," Yoonhwan says. "But what about you? They'll talk about you, too."

"I don't care about things like that," Nara chuckles. "And I can assure you, my soulmate won't either."

Yoonhwan jolts in his seat, and his eyes widen. "You've met your soulmate."

Nara winces, "Ah, I didn't mean to drop that on you like that, but yeah. We met while I was in my early twenties. A long time ago. We were together for some time, but—" he cuts off with a sigh. "It's going to sound insane, but… we weren't compatible at all."

"I–oh," Yoonhwan mumbles, mostly because he doesn't know what to say.

"Yeah," Nara murmurs. "We stayed together only because we were soulmates, but it really wasn't working at all, so… we just decided it'd be better if we went our separate ways. We haven't talked since."

Yoonhwan sits there and processes the information. Their food arrives along with two bottles of soju, but Yoonhwan doesn't move, and neither does Nara. Then he exhales deeply and pours himself a glass before drowning it at once.

He places the glass on the table and says, "I haven't met my soulmate. I don't think I want to. All my life, I've thought that there's something wrong with me for thinking like that, and I'm only leaning now that that might not be the case, so I'm sorry if I randomly start panicking."

Nara's eyes soften. "That's completely fine, you know. You're so young. You have your whole life left to figure out what you want. If you–if you don't want to do this, if it's too burdensome, that's fine, too."

But Yoonhwan shakes his head. "I like you, hyung. So much that I don't know what to do with all my feelings. It's driving me crazy. I want to do this with you. So just–just tell me off when I'm being annoying."

Nara bites down on his lips, and his eyes crinkle as he smiles at Yoonhwan. "I like you, too. A lot. We can take things slow, if you want that."

The pressure on Yoonhwan's chest eases a little, and he nods, "Yeah, that'd be good."

"And just so you know, I don't care if people see us together," Nara adds. "They can think and say whatever they want; that doesn't change how we feel about each other."

The words wrap around him like a gentle blanket, and the tension seeps out of Yoonhwan's body entirely. He doesn't really think about his next actions. His body moves subconsciously as he rises from his seat and leans over the table to hold Nara's face and tilt it up.

The older man looks at him with wide eyes, but doesn't move away when Yoonhwan closes the distance between them and slots their lips together.

He is absolutely insane to do something like this during their first date, but Nara doesn't push him back, doesn't even break the kiss. Instead, he leans further into the kiss and smiles against his lips, and that's more than enough for Yoonhwan.