Work Text:
First. Accident
Second. Mistake
Third. Hope
Fourth. Confusion
Fifth. End
Sixth... Sixth?
She hadn't really thought about it. With him everything was different, his hands were soft and his words tender. They were both aware of that situation, or at least he was; she was too busy watching his eyes shine at the sight of the woman in front of him, that is, her. She had never felt so special in a long time
And so here she was, despite her advanced age, she found herself waiting for what she swore would be her last cub. Memories returned, the worry of suffering during childbirth, or, worse, not making it. Already at the third birth she fainted and Mother Nature took away her ability to breastfeed; the two twins were a complete surprise: the youngest was almost losing his breath. Literally. It was terrible, she didn't sleep until she was 100% sure the baby was okay. It was there that she vowed never to have children again but... We can't expect everything, can we?
Luka couldn't contain his excitement; he was so happy. She laughed when he started kissing her belly like a madman. It was adorable, or rather, he was
When the children found out, the reaction was more or less the same. Anisim and Kirill prayed for a brother, Iosif wanted a sister. Khioniya was the only one who did not give her opinion, as she was busy playing with Renat. Maybe she just didn't want to hear about the new sibling on the way, she actually had a biting personality if she wanted to. Olga knew why, but refused to talk about it
By now it was all too predictable: nausea arrived after a few weeks, she got rid of the smells that bothered her, little by little her belly became round like a balloon; Kirill tried to lunge at her, thinking her belly would be elastic, and Iosif caught him like a frisbee. Olga, even for a moment, hoped that the little one would fall on her. Straight into her belly. But it wasn't worth the thought
Every day it grew heavier, she could sense the creature evolving inside her and that, sooner or later, would come out. The idea terrified her more than ever, yet she pretended not to notice her own fear growing in her head. Really, it wasn't worth it. Everyone was so happy, why shouldn't she be? A new baby in the family might have brought a little more joy, even if she and Luka were already happy. Maybe this would have convinced the kids to spend more time with her than with her previous husband. That asshole
Luckily for her (or unfortunately, if you prefer) someone noticed. The man she now loved and her daughter. One afternoon, Khioniya said she would take everyone to the park; at first Olga asked if she wanted her to come too since looking after 4 boys, 3 of whom were very young, was difficult, but she refused. When she made sure they had boarded the bus, Olga sat down on the couch. She only became aware of Luka when he kissed her on the forehead. He sat down next to her and did the talking, at least that's what happened before Olga activated her defense mechanism: lies and irritation. She never actually used the latter with him, but she always kept it close by in case of emergencies:
"You don't have to worry, Luka. Pregnant women do this sometimes, and in my case it's very common. I'm not worried, it's part of the process"
"What process? Darling, I know I'm a man and I can't understand what you're going through, but I don't think paranoia is part of the effects of pregnancy"
"You clearly don't know anything about women"
Luka sighed: "I'm just saying that if you need me, I'm here. I'm not making you do all the job"
"Job?" Olga raised her eyebrow: "You think this is a job?"
"Well, you're not getting paid or anything, but..."
Olga was silent for a minute. Luka smiled slightly; only then she realized he was trying to make a joke. Bad joke, but it still made her laugh. Luka took her in his arms and they lay down on the sofa. Olga took his hands and kissed them while he caressed her face
Everything was going so well. She didn't want to screw things up. She really didn't. So tears fell from her eyes. Luka noticed and tried to wipe them, holding her close, trying to make her understand that she wasn't alone in this. He couldn't relate to what had happened to her in those years, but he could imagine it. Having the full weight of not only her life but also that of her children without any help was unbearable. He felt guilty for putting her in that situation again, if he had realized earlier, he would not have pushed her to keep it. He didn't really push her, but his happiness made her think it was worth the shot. So he decided they had to talk about it. Olga told him her concerns and, as little as Luka could do, he listened to her without judging her. Finally, Luka kissed her and promised her that she wouldn't be alone
•••
It was an afternoon. Khioniya held Iosif and Renat by the collars of their shirts as they tried to grab each other and scratch each other; Anisim counted the numbers from 1 to 50 with Kirill; Luka was sitting on the couch talking to Nikita about sports or whatever thing the two men liked. Olga was very happy to see that, despite everything, the two were getting along. She had decided to keep her resentment aside, for the children. And regarding the baby in her belly...
She felt the fluid come out and hit the ground. The children were making so much noise in the hallway that they didn't notice anything, but Luka jumped and immediately turned to her. His eyes widened in surprise. Nikita followed his gaze and stood up, shocked:
"Oh sh- Jesus! Alright uh... Olga, DON'T PANIC!" Nikita screamed
"D-Do we have to go to the hospital now!? Does it hurt!? Tell me, my dear, where!?" Luka followed
"Guys, it's fine. My water just broke"
"JUST!?"
"Let's do this..." Olga squinted: "Luka, take me to the hospital. Nikita, you take care of the children. If something is wrong, follow us, alright? We're all good?"
Luka and Nikita tried to speak. Olga clapped her hands together and forced a smile: "We're all good! Now let's hurry up, the contractions might start soon"
It's absurd how until a few weeks before she was the one super panicked and Luka was super chill. Swapping roles was like them
•••
The first labour lasted a full 32 hours. The second 29, the third only 7, and the twins each took 80 minutes to get out of her. Why? Oh well, it wasn't her who created the laws of childbirth that provided, like, 5 different phases just to get one single child out. She hoped it wouldn't hurt. Oh, how silly
It was hell. Suddenly, all the memories of all the births came flooding back to her, as if the pain wasn't already too much. They had to give her anesthetics to calm her down because the only thing she could do was screaming and trying to kick the midwives just because they were doing her job. They advised Luka to go out, but he wouldn't listen to reason. He took Olga by the hand and told her to hold it; she ended up just insulting him, but in an affectionate way, because in the end she loved him. One push after another, it was all over. And not because the baby came out. She fainted. Literally. Halfway through the birth
Let's just say it was at that moment that Luka prayed to the heavens that she was okay and that it was nothing serious. Oh, what a fool. He was taken away by force despite his efforts to stay close to her. Nikita and the children were outside and as soon as they saw him Renat and Anisim threw themselves on his knees and hugged them. Luka would have liked to reciprocate with his usual pats on the head, but it wasn't the time. Nikita tilted his head:
"What's wrong?"
"She... Passed out. On the spot"
"It happened before. With our little boy here" he said, tapping Anisim's head. The nerve under Luka's eye twitched, he hoped Nikita would change the subject, which of course he didn't: "Both she and he were in serious danger, especially her. She lost a lot of blood, and to make matters worse, Anisim was in danger of not breathing. I'm sure this time of them isn't gonna-"
"I don't care. As long as she's safe"
"But what about the baby-"
"I don't care about the baby!" Luka burst out, unable to control himself. Anisim and Renat left his lap and hid behind Iosif: "I don't care, alright!? I want to have a child with the woman I love, if she... What's the point of having it if she's not gonna be there to see it grow up? I should've thought about that sooner"
Luka looked down at the children, who were staring at him naively, unaware of what they were talking about. Iosif said nothing and simply picked up Kirill and Renat and walked away in the corridor; Khioniya looked down
Everything would be fine. It was supposed to be fine. She was supposed to be fine
•••
3 hours. What the hell was going on? Olga woke suddenly and felt something moving inside her. She turned her head to the right, then to the left, and saw the nurses and midwives, their eyes filled with terror. As soon as they saw her wake up, they immediately took some water and made her drink it, then they injected her with something
She felt a tingling sensation, then a sharp pain in her waist area. A loud scream escaped her, and it was then that she realized Luka wasn't there with her. Where was he? He'd promised he would be. She screamed his name as loudly as she could. Immediately, the door burst open, and Luka was at her side. There she allowed herself to cry, both from pain and fear and joy and confusion and...
Blood flowed from her, along with a small creature now connected to her only by the umbilical cord. The nurse cut the cord with scissors and ordered the midwives to help her with the blood loss. Internal bleeding, a wall had broken from the inside because the baby wasn't in the right position. Olga looked up in despair at Luka and felt faint again:
"Don't leave me" she begged: "Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't..."
Lukas' eyes were watery: "Only if you're not gonna leave me too"
Olga closed her eyes, but didn't allow herself to lose consciousness. She looked at the baby the nurse was trying to make cry. Something caught in her throat, perhaps a frightened scream for her baby. No. It couldn't have ended like this. Not today:
"Luka... The... The baby..." She sobbed
"It's gonna be okay. You have to think about yourself now, okay? Just breath"
Olga closed her eyes for a few moments and then opened them again. The nurse gave one last push and the baby burst into tears. Olga breathed a sigh of relief and let her head fall back; Luka grabbed it before she could hit the pillows
Sixth. Fear. Pure fear
She no longer cared if she was still bleeding and she couldn't think straight. Her eyes were fixed on the baby while Luka's were fixed on her as she was being treated. Eventually they managed to stop the bleeding, it would have taken more than just one stage but for now it was the best they could do
The oldest midwife took the baby in her hands and handed it to Olga, who held it tightly as if it were the most precious thing in the world. They looked at its private parts, and Olga felt like laughing. A baby boy. Another one, huh? Surely some wouldn't have been happy
The nurses let another 24 hours pass to allow Olga to rest. Luka meanwhile remained in the hospital, holding her hand, talking to her even when her eyes were closed and she was tired. Only at the stroke of 24 hours did he go out to call the children. Kirill and Renat immediately started arguing because one wanted his sister and the other made fun of him because they had a brother; Anisim stared at his little brother with interest and wondered how babies could be so small; Iosif and Khioniya sat down on either side of Olga. They hugged her and whispered "We're proud of you," almost making her cry:
"What's his name?" Anisim asked
"Let's call him Lev!" Renat replied
"Lev is soooo ugly! Sasha's better!" Kirill said
"What about we let mom choose?" Khioniya giggled
"Yeah" Iosif ended
Olga thought for a moment, then turned to Luka:
"Why don't we call him Pavel like my cousin?" She winked
Luka smiled: "Does it remind you of anything in particular?"
Olga smirked. Iosif stood up and gently picked Pavel, finally bringing him to his mother. Olga breathed lightly on Pavel's forehead, making him wriggle:
"Nope. Nothing at all"
What a liar she is when in defense mechanism