Chapter Text
This marriage has long been arranged for Heeseung, he had no say in it. Just as he has no say in what he wears, what he eats, what he says, even what he looks at — he's a prince, a locked-away-in-a-tower one. Sort of.
Heeseung doesn't remember the last time he wandered free in the palace. Most likely it was before he turned fifteen, the age when princes start preparing for their future marriages. He was just a kid, his responsibilities were supposed to be play with friends, or make a mess of yourself, not worrying about marriage.
He thinks of Jungwon, his only best friend. He hasn't seen him since then, probably because he was locked away as well, although Heeseung has heard he's been betrothed by some prince from overseas, meaning it's now official he's not going to see Jungwon any time soon. Heeseung wonders whether he's grown taller, kept his sarcastic tone whenever he spoke, or if he was forced to change who he was due to expectations. Deep down he knows Jungwon has changed, there's no way he's been allowed to just be himself.
Heeseung himself has changed. He vaguely remembers a lively child who would love running wild in the garden outside the palace, a child who would enjoy long walks around their private lake, a child who would question what surrounded him — where did it come from? How is it made? Can I make it? Why does it happen? — he was what people expected of a child. Now he's an adult, forced to take what he's given, to accept his present life and not question it. It does get tiring, but that's what he is, that's the person he has become. One that tolerates, one that accepts, one that agrees.
''It is what a soon-to-be husband has to be,'' his mother says. ''Do not ever question anything, let alone your husband.''
Heeseung nods in agreement.
His entire body and mind accepts his mother's suggestions — rules —, he doesn't want to disappoint her, nor her father, nor any of his relatives who hold such high expectations for him. How could he? They are the only people in his life, he could not bear with the weight of being a burden to them, of being the reason why their kingdom falls apart. He's constantly reminded that what he thinks, what he does, what he wears, should be worthy of a prince. His mother herself was in his shoes once, she knows better, how can Heeseung not listen to her advice?
But at the same time, when he lies down on his bedchamber, he thinks how stupid it all is. Who made those rules and why do they have to follow them centuries later? Heeseung has never been outside his country, he doesn't know how other people are living, but it must not be the way he is living. He remembers a book he's read once, where people went on dates, met different individuals, then decided to marry when they wanted to. Why isn't he able to do the same, he wonders. Then reality hits, he thinks about the people that have sacrificed themselves so Heeseung can be where he is now, lying in a bed with no other title than Prince of a Rising and Powerful Nation, which is not just any title. And he feels bad.
He feels guilty for not being able to enjoy the life he has.
When he has decided it was enough self-deprecating thoughts, he closes his eyes in an attempt to sleep. Tomorrow is a big day, for his parents at least. And all the workers. And his maids. And even his older brother. But not for him, of course; he is not allowed to leave his room the entire day.
The King and Queen from who-knows-what country are coming to sign the documents for the marriage, complete the procedures necessary for such an event, then have supper with their future in-laws. Heeseung knows nothing about such procedures, the little information he has about it came from Jay, one of the young boys that work in the palace. He is the son of their private chef; which is weird that Heeseung's parents have allowed such a thing to happen, to have their son wander around the palace until he was old enough to work alongside his old man. He thinks there must be an special arrangement made for the chef, probably because his food is the best food Heeseung has ever tasted, although, of course, he hasn't been outside enough to taste different meals.
Heeseung remembers the first time Jay spoke to him. Heeseung was horrified, not in a ''you're below me, don't talk to me'', but more in a ''my mother is going to kill you, stop talking to me'' way. Jay understood the memo at first, worried about his future, and his life. But then he forgot about it. He continued talking to the prince, small talk at first, some fresh fruit as late night snacks that Jay himself brought to Heeseung's bedchamber, which made him wonder how on Earth he managed to convince the guards to let him in. They continued talking until they built a nice friendship, hidden from his parents' eyes.
So, Heeseung now has a confidant, and official gossiper. And friend, possibly.
The prince yawns, he remembers he was supposed to fall asleep thirty minutes ago, until he was lost in his own thoughts. He closes his eyes, hoping to sleep peacefully without worries about what might happen tomorrow, but he can't.
Not when he hears noises from outside. From his window, specifically. He remembers he has forgotten to close it, and panics. What if it's a burglar? What if just like the fairytales he's going to be kidnapped? It cannot be happening now, not when he's about to get married. Although, it does sound nice to have an excuse — sorry, I was kidnapped. I'm traumatized, I do not think I can get married in this state.
Heeseung is about to scream in panic at the sight of a man's silhouette behind the white curtains, until the stranger moves the curtains to the side, and the lamp allows the prince to recognize who it is.
Jake.
Who else would it be?
Heeseung lets out a sigh, relieved to know it's not a stranger. His heart, however, continues racing inside his chest, not because he was scared just a minute ago, but because it's Jake who's standing now right in front of him.
''Are you insane?'' Heeseung asks, voice low enough not to be heard, but high enough for Jake to understand he's angry, or pretends to be.
''I'm a little crazy for you, yes,'' Jake says, holding the prince's waist. Heeseung squirms under his touch, not sure if he likes it, or if he is worried Jake is going to leave marks. He's usually pretty rough.
He's the son of one of their blacksmiths. He was introduced to Jake via Jay, who else? In one of Jay's little visits to the prince's bedchamber, he brought Jake along. Heeseung was horrified, again, how dare Jay bring someone else over? But rather, how dare the guards outside his room allow such a thing to happen? Sometimes, Heeseung wonders if Jay holds any sort of power that the prince isn't aware of, or if he bribes the guards with something, or if he's just friendly and adorable enough to convince such tough men to let him in. Either way, Heeseung is glad, because that way he was able to make two friends.
Well.
One friend, and something else.
Heeseung wishes he could say he doesn't remember the day Jake decided to take a chance with him.
Heeseung had never liked anyone, how could he, he was never allowed outside, he was raised to like one person only, and that was supposed to be his future husband. Every time Jay brought Jake along, the prince's stomach would twist. He tried to convince himself that it was the fruit Jay would give him, or the meals he would prepare for him, but it never happened whenever the chef's son came alone. It would only happen when Jake was around.
Then he talked to Jay, who Heeseung expected to laugh at him for being so stupid. Jay only smiled at him, heard him express what happened when Jake visited him, how his heart raced when he was around, then Jay told him. ''Dude, you like him.''
Heeseung chuckled at the absurdity of such words. He's not made to like anyone, let alone the son of a blacksmith. But then Jake kept coming around, alone, and Heeseung would blush, feel weird. He admitted Jay was right.
That happened exactly six months ago, before there was any sign of Heeseung's upcoming marriage.
Heeseung has never actually confessed his feelings to Jake, but Jake didn't need him to. He was flirty enough, and crazy enough, to just mess with the prince until he gave in. Which Heeseung did one cloudy night, when Jake brought flowers to him, and Heeseung couldn't stop staring at his lips, and thinking about the sweet gesture he had.
''May I kiss the prince?'' Jake asked boldly. Heeseung remembers his hesitancy that night, what if his mother found out he's kissed another man and wasn't pure anymore? What if she actually walked into his chamber, and found them like that? What if anyone walked in? What would happen to Jake? The prince looked at the flowers in Jake's hand, smiled at the sweet gesture, then leaned in to kiss him.
That's how it started it. Heeseung didn't see a end to their little playful thing, until his marriage was announced one week prior. It's the first time he sees Jake since then. To be honest with himself, Jake hasn't crossed his mind since he was told he was to be wed in three weeks.
Jake doesn't seem to care about anything though. He's standing in front of him with a wide smile that's contagious to Heeseung, who smiles back at him.
''Did you miss me, prince?'' Jake asks, still holding Heeseung's waist, playfully rubbing his thumbs across the clothed skin.
''Don't call me that,'' Heeseung replies. They stare at each other's eyes, Heeseung wonders what he thinks about when he sees him, does he see someone weak? Does he think about him as an actual human being, or does he think he's cool for dating the prince? There are times when Heeseung wants to ask all of these questions, though he doesn't want to spook Jake, so he keeps quiet.
As if he were to read his mind, Jake speaks again. ''What's in your mind? You seem troubled.''
Heeseung lets himself fall back to the bed, with Jake next to him, almost on top of him. He plays with Jake's hair, enjoying what perhaps may be the last time they are together this way. Heeseung is sure Jake must have heard the news, he wonders why he hasn't brought it up yet. Is he worried? Is he not? Does he care?
''I'm getting married,'' Heeseung finally speaks. He stops playing with Jake's hair, he even stops breathing until his lungs crave for air, until Jake sits up, and stares at him. His eyes haven't lost the shine that characterizes them, so Heeseung breathes.
''I know,'' Jake lets out with a sigh.
''I'm sorry.''
''Don't be, darling. It's not your fault.''
''I can still oppose,'' Heeseung says. ''I can cancel the entire thing if you wanted me to.''
Heeseung is not sure if that last sentence is true, or if he's exaggerating. Or perhaps, he wants Jake to tell him yes, go ahead, cancel it. It's silent for a while, Jake tries to come up with a clever answer, one that doesn't hurt the prince's feelings, nor his. They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, though it must have been only a few seconds, before Jake answers.
''Don't,'' he says. Heeseung is disappointed.
Don't what?
Don't get married? Don't do such a thing? Don't cancel it? Don't want to?
Then he completes the sentence. ''Heeseung, don't ruin your future.'' Heeseung wants to be mad, he wants to yell at him for such a poor choice of words, but he is right.
If Heeseung dared to cancel the wedding, not only he would be locked away forever in who-knows-where, but his country would face such terrible repercussions that an entire kingdom may break apart for his foolish choice. This marriage is not only about taking away his right of freedom, it's also about power, relationships between nations, accords Heeseung has no idea of. It's not only about him, but about his parents, his country, his people.
Heeseung would be sent away to a place he doesn't dare to dream of, because he doesn't even know where that is. There have been a few elopers, fewer than the fingers in one of his hands, but enough to serve as examples of what not to do. He has heard from Jay that elopers run away with their loved ones, their true loves, to places no one knows of, but then they're found, and punished. According to Jay, — to his father, that's where most of his stories come from —, elopers are to lose their nobility titles, along their lands and financial stability, and would often mysteriously disappear, or commit suicide. They would make the headliners with the lie of being found dead in certain places; that way, people would stop gossiping, and would start feeling bad for the eloper instead.
That is when only one party is found.
No one knows what happens to the second eloper, to the true love.
Heeseung shivers at the thought of something happening to Jake because of him, he can feel tears pooling on his eyes as he continues thinking what can happen to Jake. Since the second eloper usually is someone below nobility, usually a commoner, just like Jake is, no one actually cares about what happens to them. That's the thought that ends up breaking Heeseung, who sobs, and sobs, and tries to wipe his tears, but they are endless.
Jake doesn't give a second thought before rushing himself closer to Heeseung, to envelop him in a warm embrace which first objective is to calm his tears, but it seems to be doing the opposite, because the prince cries harder onto his shoulder.
Jake doesn't stop him, nor tries to reassure him, because there's nothing he can say or do to make Heeseung feel better. He allows the prince to cry, to let all of his tears out, to even punch him if he wanted to, just because. It's the least he can do, he thinks.
Then Heeseung breaks the hug, looks at him through his eyelashes with those Bambi eyes Jake adores. He wants to cry again, but limits himself to sobs, an occasional tear running down his check, one that Jake is quick to wipe with his calloused and rough thumb.
''I'm sorry,'' Heeseung says, voice shaky. ''I wish I could- we could-''.
''Please, don't apologize,'' Jake cuts him off. ''It's me who dragged you into this, I should have- I shouldn't have kissed you.''
Heeseung knows he means well, he knows Jake is trying to be kind, but it hurts. Does he regret? Does he think being with him is such a terrible idea? Would Jake choose him again if given the chance?
But then Jake continues talking. ''I should have been forward with your family from the day one. I should have asked your hand in marriage, I have got some money, I believe it's enough.''
Heeseung chuckles in between sobs. It's such a tender thought, to think that it's money what he needs to win. The prince remembers the lack of education regarding these topics that commoners usually have, he looks at Jake with soft eyes that wish he, himself, had that kind of innocence.
Their hug is broken completely when Jake stands up, firmly walking to the door. Heeseung wonders what he's about to do, he cannot be that stupid to actually leave through the door, right? Then he remembers, Jake is rather impulsive. So Heeseung rushes after him, and holds him in place by his wrist, pulling him closer.
''What on Earth do you think you are doing?'' Heeseung asks.
''I am talking to your parents, I will offer myself as a contestant for marriage.''
The prince wants to chuckle. He would have laughed in different circumstances, because Jake looks adorable right now, but Heeseung thinks he is being quite brainless. He stares at him, not a single expression on his face as he carefully chooses the words to say. ''Are you stupid, Jake?''
Jake is surprised by the words coming out of Heeseung's mouth. He has never spoken to him that way, he has never dared to call him such a thing, neither did Jake. He guesses he's being rather stupid, or Heeseung would have never said it.
Then, Heeseung continues. ''They are going to kill you.''
Jake gulps, he knows Heeseung is not lying. He's heard stories, he knows what happens to those who dare break an arranged marriage, yet, he couldn't think clearly, not at that moment when all his feelings were mixed up.
Between a couple more shared tears, and kisses in between, they fall asleep, cuddling as tight as their bodies allow them to. They pretend it's just one night like others they shared before, though deep down they know it might be the last.
The next morning, Heeseung wakes up at the sound of various people working outside on the yard. The prince has a hard time opening his eyes, he extends his arm towards the side of his bed, sleepily hoping Jake is still lying next to him. When he does feel what feels like a body, he jumps. Why on Earth is Jake still sleeping? How dare he stay the night when he knows it's dangerous? How is he going to leave his chamber now without being seen?
Heeseung rubs his eyes, focusing them on the body next to him, ready to wake him up and rush him to leave. Except it's not a body, but rather one of his long pillows he uses to cuddle when Jake is not around. He laughs at himself, for being idiotic, Jake would never risk their safety like that.
The prince yawns, he wishes he could sleep through the day. He wonders why he's not allowed to, if he's supposed to stay inside his bedchamber all day, why can he not just sleep? His mother's voice comes to his mind as soon as he finishes that thought: ''A prince should never sleep late, are you a beggar?'' So he gets up, worried she might walk in and see him in that state.
He walks to the window, opens the curtains, and observes the insane amount of people rushing. He knows it's because of who are coming to visit them today, but he thinks it might be an overreaction. Their garden looks eccentric, their lake is as clean as it can be, the windows are cleaned everyday despite who visits them or not, the marble water fountain in front of the main entrance shines as the sun itself, what else could they possibly do to make the palace presentable enough for the King and Queen? He guesses it's a direct order from his father, a perfectionist. Though most of the times Heeseung believes he acts that way to show off.
Heeseung walks back towards his bed, stopping mid-way at the sight of a small handcrafted wooden box with his named carved on it. He can tell it's Jake's from the handwriting, and the messy way the sides of the box are jointed. Though Jake is a blacksmith, he's started working with wood as well, and Heeseung loves it when he shows him the progress he's making.
The prince smiles as he bends to pick up the box, which might have fallen from the bed when he woke up. A folded paper is right next to it, he picks up both, reading the little note first.
Good morning, darling. A little gift for you that I forgot to give you last night, I know it's nothing compared to what you're gifted, but I hope you treasure it. I love you! — Jake.
He smiles at the messy handwriting, he guesses Jake must have written it in a rush before leaving during the peak of the night. He holds the little note in his palm, then carefully opens the box. A shiny silver necklace rests on top of black velvet, contrasting its alluring colour; a vivid green gemstone shines even brighter, Heeseung wants to believe its emerald, although he knows it most likely is a similar gemstone, with lower quality. He smiles even brighter at the thought of Jake dedicating hours of his work to making this for him, though the smile vanishes when he's reminded he won't be able to wear this fascinating necklace, nor any of the other jewellery Jake has made for him. He can't, it's not official jewellery. Heeseung closes the box, along with the note inside it, then heads to one of the drawers which has a secret compartment on it, a hidden place where he stocks all of Jake's gift. He kisses the box before placing it carefully, right on time for the door to be knocked.
''Sir,'' it's one of his maids calling his name outside his chamber. ''It is time for your bath.''
''One second!'' Heeseung replies as he quickly puts the drawer back in place, making sure it's safe.
The morning after his bath and his breakfast pass rather quickly. It's lunch time now, he hasn't been out of his chamber yet, and he feels he might lose his senses. Usually, he spends his mornings on the garden, reading, observing the different kind of insects that fly freely among his personal space, sometimes he wishes he was one of them. Today, however, he's been forbidden from leaving his chamber.
Heeseung believes it's because of the King and Queen from who-knows-what country, because (if the prince is coming as well) Heeseung is not supposed to be seen by him before the wedding. Something along the lines of bad luck, though he thinks it's such an irrational thought to have. What does his presence have to do with being a carrier of bad luck? Does the bad luck disappear as soon as he says yes, I do at the altar? How does it know? Is he bad luck himself because he's not married yet? Too many questions roaming around in his brain, questions that don't have any sort of logical answer.
He entertains himself with his lunch, playing with his food as if he was five years old again. He spots a bowl of his favourite fruits, cut in funny shapes that he knows Jay made them. He smiles, it's been a little over a week since he last saw Jay, probably because he's been busy, specially today. Jay cannot afford to make a mess and disappoint their visitors. Which is okay for Heeseung, but he misses him.
After the nap he forced himself to take, Heeseung wakes up a bit disoriented. The sun is setting from what he can see on his windows, the noise outside has decreased, although there are some hasty steps from here to there. He wonders if the King and Queen have arrived, that would explain why the noise has decreased, and why the workers seem to watch their step, although they know every inch of the palace.
Heeseung bites his lip at the thought of walking outside his chamber. He knows he shouldn't, he knows it's strictly forbidden, but he wants to, desperately so. The thought of doing what's been advised not to do sends shivers down his spine, the last time he rebelled against his parents was years ago, when he ran across the garden towards the lake, and jumped in. For a couple of minutes, he remembers being the happiest young man he had ever been, until the guards came for him, and made him stand in front of his parents. He was locked in his room with one food per day, for a week. The consequences of his actions were awful, but he had so much fun.
Now, he wonders what might happen to him if he dares listen to the voice inside his head. Would there be a punishment similar? Is he going to be punished, or would his parents forgive him since now he is a grown up? Although parents and forgiveness absolutely do not go hand-in-hand, Heeseung likes to believe they would forgive him.
Heeseung opens the door slightly, only to see a single guard standing on the right, eyes closed, and head tilting forward. He wants to laugh, what would his parents do if they found out the one security guard that's supposed to take care of their child falls asleep right outside the door? He thinks of Jay, now understanding how he's able to walk inside his bedchamber whenever he wants to, because he knows the guards fall asleep.
The prince takes off his shoes in order not to make any sound as he slides through the opening of his door, walks in his tip-toes until he is far away enough to put his shoes back on. It's dinner time, he guesses, from what he observes through the corner of the stairs, he's risking himself way too much, but it gives him the adrenaline he needs. The stairs lead straight to the main entrance, where he can see the back of his parents, and two other people around their age in front of them. They are, most likely, King and Queen from who-knows-what country. His heart races, he cannot believe it's happening.
He thinks of Jake.
Now that the marriage is more than confirmed, what's going to happen to him? To them? Heeseung knows that once he's wed, he's going to move out from the palace to his husband's lands, and who knows where that is? Heeseung cannot imagine a life without Jake, without his silly jokes, without his rough hands travelling across his body; that thought brings a rush of heat that he can feel on his cheeks. Would they have a blacksmith cabin? Maybe he can request Jake to move with him, as an official blacksmith for the prince, or some of the sorts. Heeseung doesn't even know if such a title exists, but he's willing to invent what's necessary for Jake to stay by his side.
Heeseung retraces his steps, one by one, not looking back since he knows the way. He bumps into something, — or rather, someone—, accidentally throwing one of the chandeliers standing in the hall table next to him, now splashed onto the carpeted floor. Heeseung is about to yell in surprise, but a hand presses against his mouth preventing him from doing so, and pushes him inside one of the rooms nearby. The noise brings guards over, to inspect what's happened, Heeseung is sure now the guard outside his door is awake, and will not fall back asleep. He hisses in distress.
Then he looks at the man in front of the door, ear plastered against it to listen to the commotion outside. Heeseung wants to talk, he wants to protest, ask who he is, and why he dared to touch him that way, but the stranger lifts his index finger at him, then moves it to his lips quickly, and Heeseung understands. He keeps quiet.
They stay silent for a couple of minutes, until the outside is silent as well. Heeseung is now ready to yell at the stranger, for kidnapping him, though he doesn't look like someone who would do such a thing.
The stranger is tall, Heeseung himself is tall, but this man might as well be a few centimetres taller. He's wearing a dark blue blazer above what seems to be a white blouse, gold epaulettes decorating his broad shoulders, and white tailored trousers, then black boots. He doesn't look like a kidnapper, or someone dangerous, at all. In fact, Heeseung himself would wear a similar outfit if he was to join his parents for a meeting.
''I'm Sunghoon,'' the stranger speaks. ''I'm sorry we meet this way, but I believe I'm your future husband.''
The moment he finishes the last sentence, Heeseung's mouth drops, and he turns around instantly, covering his mouth out of shock, as if Sunghoon hasn't seen him already. He remembers all his mother's threats about not seeing his future husband before the wedding, he thought it to be stupid. However, now that he's standing right in front of him, he panics. He feels as if the entire world's bad luck feel on him, as if now his life was officially ruined. What's going to happen now? He doesn't know Sunghoon at all, will he tell his parents? That his future husband is a rebel and does what he's told not to do? Will that break their accord? Heeseung would want that to happen, but would it count as breaking a marriage? Will he face the same consequences an eloper would face? There are many questions in his mind, no answer for any of them. He doesn't want to turn around, perhaps that way Sunghoon would leave.
''Are you okay?'' he asks.
''I'm so sorry,'' Heeseung answers. ''I'm not— we're not— this is—'', he stumbles over his words, still not turning to face the prince.
''Hey,'' Sunghoon says, voice closer to him, a hand on Heeseung's shoulder that makes him jump. ''I'm not ratting you out,'' he says. ''I excused myself to the facilities, though as you can see, I got lost.''
Heeseung doesn't answer, he's not sure what he might say that would sound like he's fine, when he certainly isn't. Sunghoon seems to be a nice person, he doesn't seem to mind that Heeseung was wandering off when he wasn't supposed to, but what does he know? Sunghoon might as well be a test, it might all be orchestrated by his mother to see if he's following the rules.
''Look, I'm seriously not telling on anyone I saw you here,'' Sunghoon says again, voice as sweet as it can be. ''Heeseung, right? Listen, I'll pretend I've never seen you when we're formally introduced, okay? I promise,'' he says, extending his right hand, pinky sticking out when Heeseung turns around to finally look at him.
He hasn't noticed before, but Sunghoon is rather beautiful. Heeseung is pretty, he knows that, but Sunghoon looks mesmerizing under the dim lights of the room, merely lightened by two chandeliers, and one single sconce which bulb might die out soon.
Heeseung hesitates at first, he has no reasons to trust Sunghoon, but also, he has no reasons not to. He extends his left hand, pinky sticking out as well, until they complete their pinky promise. It drags a chuckle out of Heeseung, reminded of the times he would do that with his friends, when he was a child.
''I'm afraid I have to leave now, it's been to long to be in the toilet,'' Sunghoon says, breaking their pinky embrace. ''I'll see you soon, hopefully,'' he smiles at Heeseung, then softly bows before exiting the room.
Heeseung is left alone in that dark room, alone with his thoughts, thoughts that he's not sure he likes. They make him feel guilty, as if he was a traitor, as if he has just committed the biggest betrayal not only to himself, but to Jake as well.