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[❤️38 💬2 ]
Adaine storms into Kristen’s room without even knocking first. “What is the meaning of this?!”
Kristen and Boggy looked up at her in unison. Caught red handed.
“I thought it’d be a good idea to get Cassandra’s socials up!” Kristen yelps as she puts her hands up in defence, the offending social media page open on her crystal, a picture of Boggy the Froggy looking absolutely adorable and round taking up the screen.
Adaine snatches the crystal. “If it’s for Cassandra’s socials, then why is the account name ‘The_Bad_Fams?’ What does ‘The Bad Fams’ even mean!”
“It’s like the Bad Kids, but for familiars— and look, a follower is a follower.” Kristen explains. “I just make it one of those dual posts with the Cassandra account and then boom, people see that they’re totally a welcoming God that loves adorable animals. And sometimes they’ll even misclick on the account and go to the Cassandra one instead of the familiar one and follow it by mistake. It’s the perfect plan!”
Adaine scowls. “Cassandra is great, I’m sure they don’t need Boggy to boost their numbers.” Adaine’s crystal buzzes in her pocket.
Begrudgingly, she checks the text.
CASSANDRA: I think I do need Boggy to boost my numbers. I hope that’s okay!! Otherwise I will die :-(
Adaine sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Fine, but only take pictures of him while I’m around. And pay him his fair share of froggy treats!”
Kristen smiles. “Deal.”
[❤️69 💬10 ]
Fig flops into her bed, ready for a night of song writing. She takes a deep breath, lets it out, and enters her mind palace.
But here’s the problem: her whole summer has been loud as fuck. And now, she can’t think without a little bit of noise goin’ on in the background.
Actually, come to think of it, why isn’t there noise in the background? Where is…
“Baby?” She calls out. Then, louder, tearing through her room, “BABY?!”
‘I’m in the kitchen, mistress,’ he communed with her.
Oh thank God. She could not emotionally deal with finding out baby had poofed out of existence while she was at school.
Fig, relieved, tells him to come to her.
‘I can’t, mistress. I am modeling for Instagram.’
…
WHAT?!
Fig marches on up to the kitchen, and there she sees a sight to truly behold. Baby is wearing a frilly little bonnet with a big bow on it, and a little sweater clearly gotten from the toddlers section. He has on no pants, but he does have little boots, which he is struggling to walk in, taking big steps as he walks back and forth. Kristen is crouched down, filming him.
“I’m being tortured and humiliated,” Baby says gleefully when he sees Fig enter the room.
Kristen, meanwhile, looks at Fig with guilt, frozen like a deer in headlights.
Fig’s eyes widen. “Oh my God—” She says. “Kristen— this is—”
“It’s for Cassandra’s socials!” Kristen quickly explains.
“This is SO FREAKIN’ ADORABLE!!!!!” Fig doesn’t squeal, because squealing isn’t cool, but she gets a little high pitched. She goes over and pinches Baby’s little cheekies. “If it’s for Cassandra’s socials, then you are absolutely going to do crazy numbers. Look at him! He’s like if Baby were a baby! Oh my god!”
Kristen’s shoulders relax.
Baby laughs. “I’m being exploited for the pleasure of the masses, mistress!”
“Yes you are!! Yes you are!!!” Fig pinches his cheekies again. “Baby’s going to be an internet star!”
He giggles with delight. “I will be as famous as you, mistress!”
“Don’t push it,” she says flatly. She turns to Kristen. “If you need more pictures, I have sooooo many.” She takes out her crystal and goes to her ‘Baby’ album.
“Candids! I like it,” Kristen nods. “I should get some while we’re adventuring too…”
“Oh yeah,” Fig agrees. “You need some sick Baby action shots.”
“The sick action is one only I can use!” Baby shouts from behind them.
And with that, Fig became the Bad Fams’ new co-social media coordinator.
[❤️92 💬13 ]
Riz looks around nervously. “Are you guys sure he won’t mind?”
“Dude, it’s your rat now.” Fig reassures him in a way that isn’t really all that reassuring.
“I mean, we kinda share the rat,” Riz points out.
“Exactly. Your rat!” Kristen smiles, giving him a pat on the back.
Edgar, at least, did seem to be in rat heaven, working his way through a big piece of cheese. That only made Riz feel slightly less bad about sneaking into the wizard tower to retrieve him on the request of Fig and Kristen.
“Honestly, he’s more Zayn’s rat than my rat. He lived with me for, like, a few months. And now I’m just allowed to visit.”
“Damn. You lost rat custody in the rat divorce?” Fig asks, tone very serious. “That’s rough.”
“There wasn’t a divorce!” Riz responds, flustered at the implications of that. “It was an out of wedlock situation. Wait, no—”
“Hey man,” Fig puts her hand on his shoulder. “I hear ya, I get it. People have all sorts of family situations.”
Riz groans as Kristen laughs at his misery. Edgar momentarily stops gorging himself on cheese, scurrying over to Riz and nudging his foot.
Riz sighs, picking Edgar up. “This isn’t right. We should have asked Zayn first.”
“You know what,” Fig looks at Kristen, then back at Riz and nods. “You’re right. You stay up here and look after Edgar, we’ll go find him.”
Riz lets out a sigh of relief. “Alright, thanks.”
He sits at Adaine’s desk, waiting for them.
He waits for a few minutes before Edgar starts to squeak, running towards the window.
Zayn floats into view.
“Hey… what’s up with the new post on the Bad Fam’s instagram?”
[❤️284 💬19 ]
“What are you doing?” Fabian asks in the most disdainful voice he can manage (and he can be very disdainful.)
“Master, I have been accosted by these girls!” The Hangman yelps out. He rumbles his engine.
“We’re taking pictures for the Instagram!” Fig says, in a tone that implies the word ‘duh.’ “The Hangman is a star!”
“A star?” Fabian scoffs. “Stop annoying my motorcycle. He’s got much better things to do.” He goes to mount the seat.
“It’s for Cassandra’s socials!” Kristen shouts, causing him to freeze mid-mount. “We;re boosting them.”
Fabian looks at her with pinched brows, as to express his confusion and mild frustration. “And why do I care about that? I’m not even following them.”
“You should care about it considering how often Kristen's cleric magic saves your life!” Fig pointed out.
“Honestly,” he scowls, “I do appreciate that, but can’t you just… boost Cassandra’s numbers the old fashioned way? Why does my motorcycle need to be involved.”
“No way! We live in the modern era, dude,” Fig huffs, crossing her arms. “Plus, check it out, the people love the Hangman!” She turns the screen of her crystal to face Fabian. He squints to read it, since her hand is sort of moving a little bit.
90 likes?
“Psh. He can do better than 90 likes!” Fabian snatches the crystal. “Hangman!”
“Yes master?”
“Look cuter. I’m going to take a selfie with you.”
“Y…yes sire…”
Though the Hangman may have a skull for a face and motorcycle for a body now, deep down, he still had the soul of a dog. He busted out the puppy eyes, and Fabian leaned in next to his skull, giving him scritches on the head and smiling towards the camera. It was an amazing selfie. He posts it, and tosses the phone back to Fig, who barely catches it.
“That should help your social media,” Fabian says, a smug grin on his face. “Now go away!”
[❤️6 💬0 ]
“Just take it.” Gorgug says, handing Kristen and Fig his wretched homunculus.
The girls look at each other, shrug, and take a single, blurry picture before giving up.