Archive of Our Own ^beta

Spectral wings rise around Judai as Yubel comes to his aid, their vines whipping away the needles the porcupine spirit's launched at him.

"Thanks, Yubel," he murmurs automatically. If the victims he's encountered the past few days are any indication, his partner's just saved him from a day of temporary blindness. "Can you see where the spirit ran off to?"

"Its presence has faded for now," his partner reports. They don't respond to his thanks, but he can feel the satisfaction through their bonded souls. "It must have retreated to its card."

Which means they have to track down where the card is. He knows the drill. "So, which way next?" he asks Yubel.

"Do you want help?" a voice calls out from the park's entrance.

Judai knows that voice. Could never forget its owner in his life.

"Johan?" He turns to Yubel, but they've already faded out of view at his side. He doesn't have time to be relieved; rapid footsteps sound as Johan jogs up to where Judai's standing in the bushes.

"I heard you were in town," Johan explains. "Ruby sensed something going on over here, and I figured it'd lead us right to you."

Ruby appears on his shoulder to chime her satisfaction, tail swaying playfully. Winged Kuriboh shows up a moment later to prod at his friend leading into one of their customary playfights.

Johan isn't watching the two little spirits. His eyes are on the empty space at Judai's left side.

…Well. Maybe Judai's overthinking this. He opens his mouth. "Well, it worked! The spirit ran off, so we've got to find her again."

"One of KaibaCorp's time capsules?"

He laughs. "Yep!"

Johan smiles. Is it just Judai's imagination, or is that smile more restrained than usual? "Then you can track her."

"Yeah." He calls upon Yubel's power for himself, blinking as his vision adjusts to what Misawa calls his infradark vision. Not that he understands all the details, but it works for the purposes of focusing in on the flavor of darkness marking those cards who received a dose of the gentle darkness out in space. Just gotta feel out for the second closest thing that feels like his Neo Spacians, and…

"A while southwest," he reports. He scrunches his face in thought. "Kinda far. I wonder how she got here." If Johan's here…maybe the spirit was attracted to Rainbow Dragon's power? It's got to be a light-attribute spirit for sure.

"Stengelsen," Johan suggests. "I've been looking into something for a friend around there."

As it turns out, they've been working the same case - or, well, Johan apparently knew that already. The porcupine spirit's creator is the twin sister of one of his friends from North, now in her second year at a local college. When Judai brings her the evolved version of the card she'd designed ten years ago - sketched out with a precise hand Judai had lacked back then, and honestly even now - she cradles it in her hands for a moment, before slipping it carefully into the laminated cover of a notebook.

Another mission completed. Another spirit united with its creator. O'Brien's already gotten word of a couple more possible satellite landings, and Judai's got to get going.

He waves casually to Johan, already thinking of the storage shed he spotted a few blocks down that should be a prime shadow travel spot if he can break into it. "Well, later."

"...Wait."

Judai wants to keep walking and pretend he didn't hear that. But he stops when Johan speaks, daring a hopefully-vaguely-confused glance over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"You're leaving with Yubel's power, right?"

The question gives Judai a jolt, because he thought he'd been doing a good job of avoiding attention when he used the shadows. Also because it's not Yubel's power, it's his own control of the darkness with a boost from—yeah, better not to get into that right now. "Yeah," he says instead.

"Is…" Johan frowns. Hesitates. Looks beyond Judai. "Is Yubel alive?"

Judai tries to smile. Casual. "Yubel…is a spirit. You know that, Johan."

"He's as terrible a liar as ever," Yubel says at his side. "Are you satisfied, Johan Andersen?"

Busted.

Johan gapes. "You're…"

Several lights flash, and all of a sudden half the Gem Beasts are standing between Judai and Johan.

"Yubel," Topaz Tiger growls. "So it is you."

Sapphire Pegasus steps forward, inclining his head. "We won't let you hurt Johan, if that is what you are planning."

Yubel scoffs. "He's the one who had to know the truth. I only simplified things. If we're done here…"

Judai's partner fades away to retreat into their soul, leaving Judai with Johan and his family. The Gem Beasts eye him skeptically.

"And then he just left."

Johan picks at his food. Kristian had gone to the trouble of buying him lunch as thanks for helping his sister; it's the least he can do to eat it. But the fish tastes too salty in his mouth, and the greens too bitter. It's not a problem with the restaurant.

Kristian doesn't seem put off by his lack of appetite, at least. He frowns. "That was your friend from the central campus?" he asks doubtfully.

"Judai is my friend," Johan responds heatedly. "He…you don't know what happened back then. I owe him a lot."

"He ditched you." Kristian shrugs as he takes a bite of his sausage. "Doesn't seem like much of a friend to me."

"Well, that's…" Johan sighs. He does this to everyone isn't the most convincing of defenses. "That's not the point. He had a spirit with him, a dangerous one. Not dangerous to Kristine," he adds, seeing the panic start to cross Kristian's face. "I guess…Judai got them under control, somehow. But it hurt a lot of people, when I was over at the central campus."

Like his family. And himself. "I owe Judai because he saved me from that spirit. I thought he—I thought that he absorbed them afterward, made their power his own. But he's working alongside them now."

Kristian's settled now, but now he's staring at Johan with skepticism. "He's not coming back, is he? Because if he hurts Kristine or that spirit of hers…"

"He won't," Johan says before he's even thought about it.

"We won't let that happen," Cobalt Eagle says, and Ruby chirps agreement. Johan nods, but doesn't say anything out loud with Kristian here. He can't see them, so it'd only cause confusion.

He's sure of it, though. Judai would hurt himself before he hurt a duel spirit.

…It's Yubel he's not sure about.

"Well, he doesn't seem like a great guy to be around anyway." Kristian raps a knuckle against his drink thoughtfully. "I know I don't see spirits, but is it worth being friends with someone just for that? I still remember that Manjoume Thunder, he was way more reliable."

"Reliable is one way to phrase it," Topaz Tiger remarks diplomatically. Johan automatically opens his mouth to tell him to be a bit nicer, except Kristian never heard that comment anyway.

But they're not talking about Manjoume, not really.

Johan had entrusted Judai with his family after Judai saved him from Yubel. When Judai had come back from the other world, he'd returned Johan's deck to him with a smile and a few friendly words and then retreated into the Osiris dorm until all the transfer students left. Past that, if his friends are right. Johan had been occupied with the Gem Beasts back then, recovered but still bearing the pain of Yubel's enslavement.

Judai had seemed so comfortable with them at his side, out in that park. Had Yubel been with him in that dorm?

"I don't know," Johan says truthfully. "I think…I'm missing something."

"And just yesterday, the Chairman praised Suzuki's work on the new Red Eyes support. She's got an eye for intricate details like armor, and…Judai?"

Judai, Yubel warns sharply.

"Huh?"

It's not that Judai isn't listening. Actually he's real excited to hear that Suzuki Sana is doing well; she'd been one of the first he worked with, those kids-grown-into-adults whose designs went up in KaibaCorp's time capsules. It's just that…

He asked you a question, Judai.

Right. Judai silently thanks Yubel and stops picking at his lunch to look up at Hayato. "Sorry. I'm listening. Just got a lot on my mind."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Johan had demanded, and Judai could see the trust bleeding out of him like he'd seen it on Shou once upon a time.

He hadn't had a good answer. Not one better than I wasn't going to tell anyone, to avoid this exact conversation.

"Is something the matter?" Hayato's quizzical glance isn't prying, but he looks genuinely concerned as he sneaks a bite of fish to Pharaoh. "You look down compared to usual."

"It's nothing." Judai makes a point of eating a bite of his omelet. "Don't worry about it."

"Does this have anything to do with the spirit with you? Um, the woman who isn't Burst Lady…"

The spirit—

What?

He glances at the air beside him. Yubel isn't there right now - they're watching from inside him - but across the table, Hayato's eyes narrow. "I knew it. I don't recognize that voice, but it's definitely talking to you, isn't it Judai?"

It isn't as if Judai hasn't known Hayato could hear spirits since their first year at Duel Academia. But like this, Yubel…well, he doesn't get all the science behind it but when they're just observing from within his soul like this nobody else can hear them. Not Johan, not Manjoume…

But Hayato can, apparently, and he smiles with bashful pride as he observes what must be Judai's shocked face. "You're not the only one who's changed in the past few years, you know! I like to think I've gotten better at listening to the spirits' voices…"

Well. Huh.

"Oh my," Professor Daitokuji comments as Pharaoh gnaws at more fish. "Hayato's been doing well for himself, hasn't he?" Strangely enough, Hayato doesn't seem to hear him. Go figure.

There's a lot of things Judai could say to that revelation. Wow, that's really impressive Hayato! or Meet my partner who terrorized all our other friends, it's a sore spot so don't bring it up or or Wait, what exactly did you hear them say again? What comes out instead is a weak "...It's not a woman."

A few moments later Hayato is bowing in apology to Yubel, who's switched to using their male voice both to make a point and to watch Judai's friend sweat a bit (which is kind of mean of them, Hayato meant well, but – they've got bigger problems right now).

"I'd heard about Judai's Neo Spacians, but I hadn't heard of you before," Hayato says appraisingly. "Still, it's good to meet you, Yubel."

Yubel laughs, low and throaty. "You're the first to ever say that."

Hayato's eyes widen, clearly unsure of how to respond to that. "I, um…"

"Judai will try to spare our feelings by not saying anything." Yubel keeps talking, and Judai knows it's at least in part to prevent him from interfering. "But I caused a great deal of trouble for Judai and his friends at Duel Academia when I found him. Are you so prepared to welcome me, Hayato Maeda?"

Judai's mouth is already open to cut in, but words fail to come out.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

It isn't as if he doesn't understand why Yubel wanted to rip off the bandage sooner than later. He just hadn't wanted to lose another friend today.

Hayato looks up at empty space, as if trying to find Yubel in it. They aren't there. "Is that so…"

Judai steels himself for what's coming.

Hayato frowns and seems to consider his thoughts for a moment. Then he nods to the air where Yubel isn't. "Well, you seem like you're looking out for Judai now, no matter how you two met. So…it's still good to meet you, Yubel."

Yubel's shock mirrors Judai's own. The bemusement is all theirs, however.

"So you met Yubel back at Duel Academia," Hayato continues thoughtfully. "So they aren't one of the satellite spirits…"

Yubel lets out a sharp laugh and does not elaborate.

Hayato keeps talking, but Judai struggles to listen to the words because the world suddenly feels…unreal.

Of course Hayato doesn't have the same bad memories of Yubel. Of course that's a good thing. Of course he's glad it turned out this way. Nothing bad has happened, so why does he still feel so unsettled?

Hayato's a good guy. Judai's known that since the year they spent together at Duel Academia. Maybe he's in a lucky position after all, and that's why Hayato isn't staring at him with the same betrayed hurt—

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"—wouldn't it, Judai?"

Right. Hayato was saying something about…Pegasus?

Most of the time searching out the satellite spirits is Judai's job, and Johan occasionally finds himself working with people after Judai has already passed through their lives. Kristine had been a special case; so had the fox spirits just two weeks later.

"There are two spirits this time, working in tandem," O'Brien had reported before showing Johan a scan of the original art: red and blue foxes curled around each other as roughly sketched fire and ice erupt around them. The shapes are jagged, the foxes' eyes simple black dots in heavy crayon. "They're slippery. Judai's been after them for a week, but when he corners one the other escapes. He needs a partner of his own to take care of them."

A partner. Judai needed a partner.

Do you know? Johan had wanted to ask O'Brien. With all your intel, did you know about Yubel?

But Johan understood there was a time for everything, and so he'd gone.

Working with Judai was easy, despite everything. Knowing the spirit that tormented him and his family lurked unseen hadn't made it any harder to understand Judai in each moment, what directions he would go and what crazy maneuvers he would pull in pursuit of his targets. In turn, it had been easy for Johan to go off after the flame fox when it tore away from its counterpart and only a matter of minutes before he'd managed to herd it back to where Judai was still surrounding the ice fox.

It had been too easy, and he'd almost been relieved when the flame fox leaped up into the air, letting out a series of yips before diving at its partner. The ice fox yowls in response, and without warning they start to run in circles around each other until they're a blur of colors—

And then they're a single color, a single fox turned a deep purple, mottled with speckles like stars in the night.

That's new.

Johan gapes. "Did they just…"

"Contact fusion," Judai breathes.

The thing about Judai's mission to chase down the spirits of one-of-a-kind cards created from children's artwork, Johan knows from what he's heard, is that most of them have unknown effects. Sometimes the art provides hints, but the effects are still often hard to predict. Like now.

And then the fox opens its mouth and lets out a cry that summons lightning, and then they've got a new problem on their hands. It's another forty minutes before Judai is coaxing the separated fox spirits back into their cards, fluttering out from the hollow of a nearby tree. There are three of them, Johan sees now, two effect monsters and a fusion. Of course.

Judai's eyes are still that too-familiar orange-teal as he picks up the cards. He doesn't put them away, instead lowering his head to examine them.

"They're like me and Yubel." His words are subdued, like an unwilling confession. Judai's eyes are still fixed on the cards.

They make no sense to Johan. "What do you mean?"

"Yubel and I. We're fused." Judai finally raises his head to fumble with his jacket, tucking the three cards into a special pocket sewn inside. Kenzan's work, he'd mentioned once. "That's how I saved them, back then."

"Fused? Saved?" Johan can't help but repeat the words, because he can't possibly figure out what Judai means. Judai had been the one to save Johan from Yubel, Johan knows that very well. What could he possibly have needed to save Yubel from? "Judai, what do you mean?"

Judai pats the cards in his pocket before straightening his jacket, apparently done with explanations. "Vulpine Asterism Laiga…that's me. That's what I am, together with Yubel. But there's no way to separate us now."

Yubel will always be here.

You can't change anything.

Judai meets his eyes briefly - they're back to regular brown now - before hunching his shoulders, like he's waiting for Johan to react. And Johan…

How does he feel about this?

"I don't want to stop being friends with you, Judai," he says.

"I know," Judai says. "Neither do I."

A pause.

"I'm not going to stop being fused with Yubel," Judai says. "Even if it were possible…I wouldn't."

"I know," Johan says. Not in exactly those words, maybe, but Judai hasn't expressed any regret for Yubel's presence until now. Johan can read between the lines.

"I'm not the same as you anymore." Judai shrugs casually, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Or anyone."

"I know that, too." And Johan means that also, but he watches Judai's eyes slide away and knows his words aren't landing.

Silence.

"You know—"

"I should—"

Both of them break off and stare at each other.

Johan gestures at Judai. "You first," he murmurs.

Judai shrugs. "It's nothing. What about you?"

Johan stops. Takes a deep breath. Thinks about where he wants to go from here. "Can I talk to Yubel?" he asks after a moment.

Judai smiles, mysterious, and Johan wonders how he never saw it before. He's seen that exact quirk of the mouth before, on a different face. "In a way, you already are," he – or Yubel, or whatever the fusion of Judai Yuki and the spirit Yubel is – says coyly.

Johan pushes down the urge to recoil. "You're not going to appear as yourself?"

The way Yubel speaks, that elongated drawl of cruel bemusement…he hasn't forgotten it, even after two years. It feels wrong coming from Judai's mouth. "Would it make you more comfortable to see the one who stole your body in the flesh, Johan Andersen?"

"Fine." He concedes the point and takes another deep breath. "I can't forgive you, you know. For my family, more than anything."

Yubel's words are curt. "I don't expect you to."

And not that Johan was looking for a fight, but he can't help but think that's it? This is the spirit that dragged them all through dimensions over a grudge against Judai? This is the one that twisted his family into mocking slavery?

He isn't unhappy that Yubel isn't trying to defend all that. But it is anticlimactic. "I thought you'd try to justify it more," he admits.

He sees the fleeting twitch across Judai-Yubel's face before it hardens into a frown. "Judai will try to defend me. But that spitefulness was me and no one else. Can you accept such a monster as that, Johan Andersen?"

Instinctively, Johan wants to respond with a no. He tries to understand a lot of people's circumstances, but he knows himself and torturing his family is where he draws the line. But something about the question is…strange. It feels like a trick question, a trap.

And he doesn't understand. He doesn't see a way out of the trap, not when he doesn't see the actual shape of it.

He's saved from answering when his phone goes off. O'Brien is checking in.

By the time he finishes reading the message, Judai is gone and Yubel with him.

This, Judai thinks to himself, is exactly why he didn't want to tell anyone about Yubel.

A villager's scream, a torch thrown at the dragon's chest. Fire hurts them no more or less than swords. Less than magic.

Shou's face, his eyes dark and the rune on his cheek bright.

A rich, deep satisfaction curled up in the darkness of the Duel Academia library. They've created so many friends now, feeding them energy. Isn't it fun to watch Judai scramble?

The terror in O'Brien's eyes as he ran away screaming. A warrior who feared battle was no warrior at all, but whether he sought to cross blades never mattered to one wielding ultimate power.

Judai squeezes his eyes further shut and steps out of the shadows in Beijing. Or he hopes it's Beijing, anyway.

In his backpack, Pharaoh meows in concern. Professor Daitokuji takes the opportunity to escape, his bare soul illuminating the Beijing night. "Judai, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Judai responds automatically, and starts walking. Putting his feet on solid ground makes it feel just a little less like he's been dropped into a chasm. Being fused together means they're never alone. It also means their faultlines lay atop each other, and falling into the cracks means falling deep.

If one of them let go, maybe they might land on solid ground. But all they can do is cling to each other and fall deeper, because letting go of the other is worse than falling together.

Judai pumping his fist, refreshed at the sight of the boy in blue and elated despite Yubel's assault. In the time they've been gone, another has taken his heart.

…He can't deny it, but he's made his choice. He doesn't regret anything about the way they are now. He'll die before he regrets saving Yubel, and it'll take the work of a god for him to die these days.

"We've arrived somewhere at a late hour," Professor Daitokuji comments. "Judai, you should find somewhere to rest."

"Just let me see if I can get a feel for where the spirit might be," Judai murmurs, and keeps walking.

Who knows if anyone human could ever understand, anyway. Even Johan.

Johan debates talking to Judai's friends about Yubel. Do they know? Should he warn them?

In the end he doesn't, because the more he thinks about it the more he doesn't know whether there's something to warn them about.

Johan doesn't like that Judai didn't tell him about Yubel. But the more he thinks of what to say to Shou, or Jim, or O'Brien…he can't think of what to say, either. You should know that the spirit who caused all that trouble two years ago is well alive, not dormant as the source of Judai's power like we all thought. What have they done? Talk, mostly.

The more Johan thinks about it, the more he comes to the conclusion that it doesn't matter as badly as he thinks.

But it still matters to him.

He stews on that for a few weeks.

Surely he's not the only one who knows, is he? Judai's not the most forthcoming of people, but he also isn't as good at keeping secrets as he thinks he is. O'Brien would know, if nobody else.

He nearly asks, once, when O'Brien contacts him about another satellite card in need of a duelist. But in the end he can't find the right words.

It's Saiou Mizuchi who points him towards the answer. It starts with a video call about KaibaCorp matters - Johan isn't entirely sure what exactly is in her job description, but then again he's barely sure of his own job description with them either. Mizuchi just seems to be more focused about it in comparison.

In either case, it starts when Johan mentions needing to contact O'Brien for updates on Judai's whereabouts and Mizuchi rattles off his exact coordinates before pausing to translate the numbers. Apparently he's off at a national park in Uruguay.

Johan needs a moment to process several things at once. Mizuchi's mouth twitches at a smile, though her eyes aren't on Johan. She's barely looked directly at her camera at all this call, eyes instead on what Johan can only guess are readouts and other displays at her computer.

"Judai has yet to realize the cell phone KaibaCorp gave him for coordination gives us information about his travels," she explains. She stares intently at something to her left, typing for a few moments before nodding. "It seems he's returned to Japan as of thirty minutes ago."

Some dots connect. "So you know? How he travels."

Johan doesn't know all the details, but that's another secret Judai is bad at hiding. For all he's gotten slipping away from his friends to disappear into thin air down to an art, he hasn't noticed that everyone left behind tends to realize what he's doing. Shou's mentioned that Judai's been skipping class in the same few spots on Duel Academia Island for all three years they were there, and he hasn't wised up at all in that time.

…He wonders again if this is something that applies to all of Judai's secrets.

"Mizuchi," he says slowly. "Does KaibaCorp…do you know about…"

In the silence that follows, Johan contemplates the wisdom of saying more.

"Never mind," he says, and changes the subject back to KaibaCorp's ongoing research on radiation influencing the satellite cards.

It's not until they're about to bid their farewells that Mizuchi broaches the subject. "Johan. The question you wanted to ask."

Johan's finger is already on the button to end the call. He nearly presses it in shock. "Y-yes?"

"Was it something you were meant to know?"

Johan moves his finger off the button and debates how to answer.

Technically the question he wanted to ask is: does anyone else know about Yubel? That in itself isn't unfair, he thinks. But if he's honest with himself, the question he really wants to ask…

Why did he save Yubel? Why does he trust Yubel more than me?

"No," he admits.

Mizuchi doesn't seem surprised at all. She turns her head slightly, and for the first time in this call she's looking directly at him. "My brother and I have been burdened with knowledge for all our lives. Our ability to foretell the future…others shunned us for it. It drew my brother and I closer, but it was a lonely existence for a long time. Knowledge does not always bring you happiness."

Right. Johan knows a little about this. He'd first met the Saiou siblings at Duel Academia's graduation, accompanied by an old man. He doesn't know all the details, aside from that the elder brother had been the one to corrupt Judai's deck with darkness and regretted his part in everything. But he knows they'd been the cause of some incidents at the school just like…well, like Yubel. And Judai.

"So you do know," he says, and knows as soon as he's said it that they aren't the right words.

"I know my brother and Yuki Judai understand each other in ways he has only shared with me before," Mizuchi says.

Johan feels like he comprehends the situation less than ever. The glint in Mizuchi's eyes tells him that this is intentional.

"I understand," Johan says, although the truth of that statement is questionable. Mizuchi nods and bids him farewell for real this time. The screen goes dark, leaving Johan with his thoughts.

All right, then. There's something between Judai and Saiou Takuma that Johan may never understand, just as there is between Judai and Yubel. Something that connects them, just as it did Mizuchi and her brother.

"Yubel and I. We're fused." That had been Judai. He's sure of it. "That's how I saved them, back then."

Why had Judai chosen to save someone like Yubel?

Mizuchi had said others had hated her and her brother for their foresight. That they were lonely, and it brought the siblings closer.

"I'm not the same as you anymore." Judai shrugged casually, sticking his hands in his pockets. "Or anyone."

Johan remembers the familiar-unfamiliar twist of Judai's mouth into one of Yubel's smiles. "Can you accept such a monster as that, Johan Andersen?" they had asked.

He's thought about that question dozens of times in the past few weeks. It's only now, staring at a blank screen, that he realizes it.

Yubel had never expected him to say yes, but their words hadn't been mere taunting either. Nor had it been a trap, exactly. They'd been searching for something, a certain answer. And what answer they want must be another secret, known to Yubel and Judai and nobody else.

Yubel knows that after over two years fused with Judai and free from the Light of Destruction's twisting, they've retained a touch of sadism still. Schadenfreude, it's a pleasant word. There's still amusement to be found in suffering, usually Judai's. The stakes are sometimes mundane yet hapless, like shadow-traveling into a lake fiercely guarded by geese. Sometimes they're of Yubel's own making, like encouraging Judai to eat foods they both know he'll hate. Sometimes it's necessary - like the burn of pain sustained in battle, heat and thrumming blood telling them that without their joined power their combined existence could end here and now.

There is no pleasure to be found in this moment. Yubel sees the second Johan Andersen decides to make his move, the change from awestruck wonder to hesitant solemnity betraying him as he turns his eyes from the shifting hues of the Northern lights he invited Judai to see tonight. Judai hasn't noticed yet - he's thinking about Neo Space and the galaxy, with all these colors - but Yubel sees it coming.

"Judai." Johan's voice is light. "You don't have to feel guilty for what Yubel did, you know."

It would be laughable if it weren't ignorant to the point of offense. Judai doesn't move, but only because he can't formulate a response.

"I know you two are fused, and there's no undoing it. I don't know why you chose to save Yubel. But I would never hate you because of that. And even then, you…"

One of the Gem Beasts adds their input, and Judai ignores them. Or so Yubel likes to think.

"Judai, I know about the Supreme King."

Yubel feels the recoil like a slab of cold stone.

Fire. Screaming. The weight of Super Fusion in his hand.

Shou's face, eyes dark and rune bright.

Yubel curls their soul into Judai's, grounding him so he can focus on listening.

"Just because you have that power, it doesn't mean you need to be alone," Johan continues, as Judai struggles through the memories.

"I know you feel bad about what you did, but that doesn't make you a monster. I—"

Judai boils over. "No, you don't know!"

Johan halts, mouth still half-open as he stares at Judai uncomprehending. "Judai?"

Judai hunches his shoulders. "You weren't there, Johan. I know Yubel had long sealed you away by the time I became the Supreme King."

He says it with resignation, acknowledgement of Yubel's own sins but not judgment. Yubel had done exactly as Judai said, with hatred and spite laced through their heart. They and Judai have come to terms with each other for all that. But Johan won't forgive them. He's already said as much, and Yubel never expected him to.

"I still heard about what happened," Johan says. And to his credit, he thinks it's enough. "I know you killed a lot of people. I know that it was you at your worst."

"You don't know anything," Judai says, and abruptly turns from Johan to walk away before Johan can see what they really are.

Judai accepts the worst of Yubel, and Yubel has witnessed the worst of him in two lives. But outside of the two of them, outside of the gated garden of their fused souls…

"Judai!" Johan calls after them. Yubel gives the lightest touch to Judai's mind and leaves him to walk. They're about a half-mile out from anywhere with enough cover from the evening sky that he'll be able to shadow-travel, but he's got to start somewhere. In the meantime…

The Gem Beasts come out of Johan's deck when Yubel appears before Johan. Yubel ignores them.

"Wrong answer, Johan Andersen," they admonish him. That in itself wasn't strictly necessary to tell him; the dim disappointment in Johan's eyes says he very well understands he's misstepped. What's important is the next warning: "Don't talk so lightly about what you don't understand."

Johan grits his teeth. "I'm trying to understand. That time, with the fox spirits…you weren't testing me, were you? You were looking for an answer."

Hm. Looking might not be correct, exactly. But it's close enough, perhaps. "Yes."

"But I can't…" Johan turns his head, looking in the direction Judai's departed in. "Is there even a right answer?"

Yubel wants to laugh. "Wouldn't we like to know," they say instead, and disappear to rejoin their other half in his trek away from this all.

And strangely enough, when they settle back into Judai's soul - frayed from fear, but still warm like gentle coals - they find something like pity for Johan in their own heart, rather than resentment.

Can you accept a monster?

It's an impossible challenge, after all. Judai's friends have enough love for him to accept Yuki Judai, the Supreme King. But Yubel is part of Judai just as the power of the Supreme King is, and the only person ever capable of loving such a creature as Yubel is Judai himself.

They won't let go of him, and he won't let go of them. But the gate to their garden is made of gnarled thorns and wicked toxins, and can only be unlocked by one who can withstand the ugliness of the most horrible dragon.

Johan knows he's screwed up when Judai doesn't answer his messages for a week. When he does, it's strictly for work. Johan types the beginning of several apologies that he never manages to send. What if he makes things worse?

"Give him time," Emerald Turtle advises him. "Judai's a good kid. He just needs some space to work through his feelings."

Amethyst Cat sleeps at his feet in bed. Ruby burrows under the blankets with him.

Johan gives Judai time.

Two weeks later, Judai stops responding to him again.

Two days after that, he gets the call from O'Brien.

In the end it isn't the Light of Destruction this time. It's something more mundane: pure human greed, and a spirit loyal enough to its creator to carry out malicious orders.

Reconnaissance on the man selling rare cards from a special KaibaCorp project comes from O'Brien and Edo. Manjoume's Ojama brothers are, somehow, perfect scouts for the spirit side of matters. The rest of them are here just because.

Shou and Kaiser show up because Johan had been at one of Shou's matches when he got the call, and from there Fubuki follows soon after with Asuka calling in from America. All that's missing is Kenzan and Rei (the latter still finishing up her senior year at Duel Academia), and Johan's just checking that Jim is still in Australia when Kenzan barrels in raring to fight.

Asuka laughs when she hears the commotion. "I guess we all still go a little crazy when it comes to Judai, hm?"

But it's good, because Judai is by the Ojamas' report located in the basement of a rented house, alternating between heavily drugged and out of his mind with pain from a spirit's effect. Nobody takes this well.

Manjoume yells at the Ojamas. Shou panics before his brother pulls him aside, and Fubuki joins them. Kenzan is practically vibrating with how much he wants to find someone to fight right now. O'Brien…has it together, but he's examining the room like a puzzle he doesn't want to solve.

Johan takes a deep breath, steps forward, and gives orders.

One of Edo's contacts reports that the dealer is out making a sale. O'Brien, ever the solo agent in the field, goes out tracking the dealer's whereabouts while he's away from his base. The rest of them prepare for Judai's extraction.

Johan goes as the most experienced person in spirit encounters (excepting Judai of course), Edo as the most experienced with criminal encounters (excepting Judai, again). Manjoume plays lookout with the Ojamas. The rest prepare for getaway and distraction as appropriate.

The most horrific thing is that Judai isn't tied up. Inside the house they find Pharaoh scratching at the door yowling, evidently having escaped a cheap cage lying on the floor. Edo deals handily with the locked door to the basement, and there Judai is lying on a bed - at least they'd given him that - eyes wide and unseeing as he screams.

His eyes are gold. Then they're brown. Then they're mismatched orange-teal.

"Sir Judai…" Ojama Green floats close to him, and is repelled by vines.

Yubel's form flickers above Judai's body - no, inside his body. Their forms are overlapping. They're screaming, too, and the way their outline pulses in the air they must be experiencing the same phenomenon as Judai. But Yubel doesn't stop at screaming: one moment they're embracing Judai tightly, and then they're clawing at his face. The next moment they're cradling him desperately. No marks appear on Judai's body, but Johan is sure he must be feeling it.

Phases. The KaibaCorp records suggested that the dealer's card was designed after the phases of the moon, and the Ojamas reported that it was having a profound effect on Judai. That effect seems to be pulling him apart at the seams.

"Yubel?!" Ojama Green shrieks, but Edo doesn't seem surprised. Johan supposes that's one question answered, not that it helps right now.

It's not Johan that saves him, in the end. Maybe it's selfish to wish it were him. But it's Edo who tosses out a smart comment about being a hero before he dives into the fray. It's Manjoume who reports finding the location of the satellite spirit's card, and it's Ruby who uses her gem to neutralize its phase-shifting effects, and it's Edo who hoists Judai's body in his arms and carries him out of that basement, brushing off the blast of dark power and the nasty scratch marks across his suit with a snarky remark about the tailoring costs. It's Shou who hits the pedal to race away from the hideout and get them to the safety of—

"The hospital," Kenzan suggests.

"No, you idiot, a hospital is not going to deal with spirit-related problems," Manjoume argues. "Take us back to the hotel."

"What are you going to do there, saurus? At least in a hospital they can take care of him physically!"

Johan makes the call again. "Bring us to the hotel."

Shou floors it.

It's only when they're back in the overly crowded hotel room, everyone watching over Judai's unconscious body, that Johan thinks about how much they all love Judai.

He wonders if Judai knows that.

Judai wakes up surrounded by his friends, crowded around him and smiling. Yubel's there with him of course, and he hadn't realized how good being fused feels until now that he's known what it feels like to be only halfway in each other's skin.

Some people cry, though Manjoume vehemently denies it. Fubuki waxes poetical. Kenzan fusses over the condition of his bed and yells at him when Judai tells them to move him to the couch because really, how are the lot of them cramming themselves into the single other bed in this hotel room?

O'Brien hangs back from the rest, but when things calm down he gives Judai an update on the black market seller and hands him a new satellite card acquired from his operations last night. This one is much tamer than the moon spirit, a cartoony winged shark that reminds Judai of Aqua Dolphin.

The moon spirit itself…Manjoume's got it for now. "It's pretty pathetic, actually," he declares as he carefully tucks it into his coat. "That damn dealer was an ungrateful duelist. Waxsmith was following his every word just to hear…anyway. I'll take her off your hands."

Smiling doesn't hurt if he doesn't do it too widely. Yeah, Manjoume's going to give that spirit a good home. "Ah, that's good…"

Manjoume scoffs. "It's too much to handle, anyway. You're the kind of stubborn idiot who'd spend all his time and energy getting up and chasing something new instead of recovering from—from—whatever it did you, with Yubel and all."

He feels Yubel snap to alertness the same time he does. With…?

"Manjoume…you saw…"

He has no idea what it looked like, when the dealer had sicced Waxsmith on him. It felt like back in that duel with Darkness, the sensation of having his other half ripped out of him, but sustained for…hours? Days? He'd lost sense of time very quickly in the pain and the sedatives.

"Yubel? Yeah." That's Edo. "The spirit affected them pretty badly, too."

That's an understatement, Judai knows. He doesn't remember much beyond the pain, but when their souls aligned during that torture he'd felt Yubel's emotions with his own. They'd forgotten where they were in time, the pain on the level of what they suffered at the Light's hands. Being torn apart hadn't been any easier on them.

"It was scary!" Ojama Black pipes up from somewhere.You were all…" He launches into a pantomime. "And Yubel was all…"

Judai doesn't interpret Ojama dances as well as Manjoume, but he gathers they saw…something, at least. Yubel's alarm fades to amusement, though there's still an edge of wariness as they observe the room.

Everyone knows now, then.

"Enough." Manjoume swats his spirit away. "Judai, don't act surprised. You told us you had Yubel inside you since our last year at school. Or are you such a scatterbrain that you forgot?"

"I bet he did!" Shou calls in his brightest, most teasing voice. "It'd be just like Aniki."

"That's Judai all right," Kaiser agrees, and Judai's starting to feel ganged up on.

"Not that I couldn't have gone the rest of my life without actually seeing them again," Manjoume gripes. "But, whatever. We got you out of there, and don't you forget that Judai."

They…haven't realized the important part. What him and Yubel really are.

"Speaking of which, we should let Judai rest." That's Johan, and Judai tries not to let the cringe show on his face. "It's only been half a day. He's still tired."

After some more fussing everyone files out to get…lunch, someone said? The important part is that soon the hotel room they've got him in is quiet. It's just him and Yubel now.

He could say something, but Johan is right: he's exhausted, and thirsty. Judai drinks from a bottle of water someone's left on the nightstand and falls asleep, feeling Yubel's heart synced with his like they've always been one.

One by one, everyone takes their leave. Those in the pro leagues have matches to get to. Kenzan's just started a position at a museum, and apparently that isn't entirely different from being a teacher from the way he describes it.

Johan stays behind, and despite everything Judai is grateful. When it's just them and O'Brien, Johan proposes that Judai stay with him in Alta for a while to recover.

Judai hasn't forgotten the last time they were in Alta together. Obviously Johan isn't mad at him, but…

"Do you have anywhere else to stay?" O'Brien asks, and Judai has to concede the point. He's not going to be able to go back to the wanderer's life for at least another week, probably, and KaibaCorp won't pay for this hotel room forever. There's his parents' house, but…well, staying with Johan is still preferable.

O'Brien heads out the day before Judai and Johan's flight. That night, Johan sits on the side of Judai's bed and they watch the sun set together, television muted in the background. Winged Kuriboh and Ruby Carbuncle doze off leaning against each other on one of the pillows.

"Back when we found you," Johan starts, like they've been leading up to this the whole day. "You were…out of control. Hurting."

"I know," Judai says, because he still remembers the blinding pain and the disorientating shock when it all stopped and he and Yubel were trying to remember how they fit together again. Everything outside his body had been an enemy. Edo had never brought attention to the gash on his face, but Judai knew it was their doing.

"It was bad, Judai," Johan admits. "It was a scary situation. Everyone knew you were dangerous in that moment."

And a part of Judai thinks Good, then they won't get disappointed. But Johan continues: "But nobody, even once, thought of leaving you."

Judai doesn't know what to say to that.

It's not that he didn't want them to save him. But…

In the Dark World, everyone had seen what his worst was then. And they'd left, and he'd drowned in his own heart. And that had been before he became the Supreme King. Before he became something beyond human.

"When you needed help, we all came running. Nobody has any regrets about what happened these last few days." Johan's eyes shine with kindness that he doesn't know he deserves. "Your friends love you, Judai."

"I…"

Judai remembers kneeling in that arena in Dark World, wondering where he'd gone wrong that he suddenly had nothing left. Now he wonders what happened that people saw him in that basement and they still smiled when he woke up.

"I love you too, Judai."

If it had been anyone else, Judai would have thought that statement was about their friendship. As things are, he's tempted to say it is about that. But…he knows what Johan actually means. And he's pretty sure Johan knows he knows, too.

"You love half of me," he says. And two years ago, loving that half would have been enough. But the person he is now…is more than the Osiris Red student Johan met on the Duel Academia roof, in more ways than one. It's not just about Yubel, really, or just about the Supreme King - but it's about both those things, and about a time and place that nobody else remembers, and about the Light of Destruction, and about the knowledge that everything that makes him suited for traveling the world dealing with spirit matters is what sets him apart from all his friends.

But Johan doesn't waver. "Half of you is a start."

That's when his other half appears, arms crossed. Judai doesn't bother trying to fill them in; of course Yubel already knows what's going on. "Is that your answer, then?"

"My answer is that I'll never know the other half of you if I can't see it." Johan gestures to the couple of Gem Beasts who have come out to observe the conversation. "And I understand more than you think, Judai. What it's like to have your life mixed up with spirits. An entire side of you that most people won't see or understand."

"But not Yubel."

"No. I don't understand Yubel." Johan is quiet for a moment. "I talked it over with my family, while you were sleeping. They love me more than they hate Yubel. I feel the same about you. And as long as they stay away from my family—"

Yubel scoffs, and Judai has to give them a mental nudge not to start anything. As if responding to Johan's thoughts, Ruby starts to stir from her place curled up on the bed.

"—I think maybe…eventually, we can move past what happened in that other world."

Ruby gingerly gets up and stretches before hopping onto Johan's shoulder. Johan reaches over to touch a light finger to an intangible cheek.

"The Gem Beast is my family. After the other day, after seeing how you two…" He gestures to Ruby on his shoulder. "You're not family, but you're something else. I don't understand it, but I want to."

Something else indeed. Even knowing everything, Judai doesn't know if he could put what that is into words.

He breathes in, then breathes out. "It's not easy. Being something else."

"I don't think it is. I don't care."

"It's not all fun adventures. Some people hate what I am. You might get wrapped up in that."

Sometimes in his worst encounters people call him a demon, or an abomination like Yubel. The black market dealer had used freak, when Waxsmith's effects had pulled Yubel half out of him. Johan doesn't deserve that kind of thing.

Johan's eyes shine bright, so bright with the self-assurance that first drew Judai to him. "I don't mind. No matter what anyone says, I know who you are. That won't change the Judai I can see."

Johan's declaration resonates with something deep in Judai's soul, deeper than Yuki Judai alone can comprehend.

Yubel's eyes widen: they feel it, too. They laugh, low but hearty. "What do you know, Johan Andersen? You've found the right answer."

"See, it works because darkness is…" Judai pauses, and Johan knows he's trying to figure out what he feels comfortable telling this time. "Darkness is the same in all places. Well, that's not actually true…but! It's close enough. So if you have…well, if you're me, I guess, you can step into one dark place and turn it into another. Or, uh, something like that." He scratches the back of his head in embarrassment. "Yubel?"

"Ineloquent, dear, but more or less correct."

"So yeah, that's how I get around most of the time. Don't tell anyone, okay?"

Johan debates the merits of lying to spare Judai's feelings, and decides against it. He's spent this long trying to encourage Judai to be a little more honest with people, and it would be wrong not to be honest in return. "Judai…I think most people know already."

"Seriously?" Judai attempts to turn around as they walk out of the train station and stumbles instead. Johan catches him, and they stand there half-staggered for a few seconds before Johan lets go.

Judai groans exaggeratedly, purposefully slumping this time for comedic effect. "If people know already, why have I been sneaking away this whole time?"

"That's part of why it's obvious," Johan points out. "Most people can't disappear that fast."

"It worked for Batman," Judai grumbles. "Anyway! Yubel says I shouldn't try using it for long distances so soon after getting back to normal, and they're probably right. But it sure would have saved us a lot of time."

"Oh, the train isn't so bad," Johan remarks. "It's a good way to see the sights, don't you think?"

Judai perks up. "Speaking of seeing the sights…"

"Don't forget what we're here for, Judai," Yubel warns.

Judai looks like he's listening to something else for a moment, and then nods. "Professor Daitokuji's right! It'd be a shame not to tourist at least a little while we're in San Diego."

Johan takes a second to run back through the conversation in his head. "Professor Daitokuji?"

"Oh, yeah. I guess you don't know about that either." Judai puts his finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Well, let's get going to the hotel. But first, Pharaoh's owner used to be our alchemy professor, Professor Daitokuji…"

In Judai's backpack, Pharaoh gives a solid mmmrow.

There's a lot about Judai that remains a mystery, and some parts that maybe always will. But for now, Johan can glimpse the light starting to peek through the gates. As long as he keeps his hand on the door, he's sure that one day he'll be able to see inside.