Archive of Our Own ^beta

Luke's POV

I roll my eyes as I watch the boys where they have curled up together on the sofa across the room; Ashton is on his phone but Michael and Calum are jokingly bickering about something but I don’t even think they remember what they’re meant to be “arguing” over anymore, they’re just seeing how long they can go on before Ashton will tell one or both of them to shut up. They do this every time before a show and I admit it was funny the first few times but now it’s just plain annoying. There is only so much you can take before it becomes insanely and infuriatingly annoying.

“How about the both of you shut up and try acting like adults for once.” I mumble to myself after having heard the same argument for at least 15 minutes with no reprieve.

I see Michael turn his head to me, smirking as his eyes flash golden for a second, before going back to ignoring me completely.

That right there is what sets me apart from the boys. Everyone on Earth currently is a wolf shifter, or a werewolf as it became known a while ago. Some people are born with their wolf already part of them, some shift during their childhood but then there are people like my family, who, for some apparent reason which I find unfair, have always developed, or presented, as their wolf form around the age of 18.

My issue is that I’m already 18 and so far nothing has changed, which means that the boys are way more protective than they need to be over me because I currently lack the part of me that might have come in handy quite a few times by now. I’m at a disadvantage and it also means I get left out whenever the boys play wrestle and all that stuff. They don’t necessarily leave me out of the pack cuddles but I don’t like being part of it when it doesn’t feel the same to me as it does for the boys. They find comfort in the whole act and strengthen the pack bond but for me, it is purely just cuddling and it frustrates me because it shouldn’t be just that to me, I should love it just as much as the boys do.

Ashton tips his head in my direction, obviously picking up on the sour note my scent is sure to have taken on given how I feel whenever I am reminded of the things I should have gotten by now but haven’t yet. “Michael, stop it. He didn’t tease you when you were complaining like a girl on their period because you weren’t allowed to go out for a run for a few days.”

I hear a snicker from Calum before he too is shut up with another comment from Ash. Once both boys have finally stopped their stupid bickering and are curled each side of Ashton again, in silence this time though, he turns his head to face me properly.

“Don’t give up on it yet Lukey. You may have been 18 for a while now but I bet you won’t have to wait much longer; you just have to give it time.”

I snort, rolling my eyes. “I’m fine Ashton.” I reply, short and to the point, but I know it is a lie. It hurts more than you could ever imagine for everyone around you to have something that you can’t, have the ability to do things that you can’t because you’re the runt, the late bloomer, and they’re all normal and perfectly functional unlike you.

Apparently, Ashton picks up on the lie too, if the flicker of red in his eyes has anything to do with it.

Ashton is a true alpha, technically not a leader yet but he is growing to be one, but his wolf has already taken on the red eyes though so anyone who doesn’t know probably would mistake him for a fully developed alpha. Calum and Michael are both betas though; they cannot disobey a direct order from Ashton even if they wanted to. It is unknown what I will turn out to be since my wolf doesn’t seem to want to ever make an appearance if the last 18 and half years are anything to go by – where was my wolf when I needed him? Oh yeah, nowhere to be seen.

The thing about wolves that annoys me more than anything is their advanced senses. They can hear anything anyone says from quite a way away, smell even the smallest scents which are given off by things we’ve touched, they can also smell emotions so it’s nearly impossible to hide how you feel about anything because they will smell it no matter what. Last but not least, they can hear your heartbeat so they can hear when you lie, which sucks when you can’t do the same back to them, I can't lie to them but they can easily get away with lying to me which is mightily unfair if you ask me, but nobody ever asks me so what do I know.

Calum and Michaels's eyes flicker golden in response to the red that appeared in Ashton's eyes, showing submission to the leader of our little pack. I huff out a deep breath, meeting Ashton's eyes and daring him silently to raise the subject again; I hate the subject so much that it makes my temper skyrocket no matter who it is that is asking or talking about it. Nobody else can meet his eyes and stare him out because it is a show of defiance so I still take advantage of the fact that I am technically human so I can get away with it.

He backs down after a few seconds, seeming to admit defeat in the fact that I refuse to talk about the subject as a whole. Calum shoots me a look, obviously not as willing to give up on the subject as Ashton is, but he makes no attempt to move from where he is burrowed in Ashton side so I just roll my eyes and get up to find my phone - if only I know where I put the damn thing.

I look around the dressing room and check my bag before remembering that I took it with me when I went to help out the guitar tech and had put it on the side while I worked, it must still be there. I leave the room and make my way back to where the crew have set up their workstations, sighing in relief when I see my phone right where I had left it earlier.

I greet the techs that are in the area, who wave to me when they see me, and grab my phone, remembering to thank John, the guitar tech I was with earlier, for looking after my phone and not moving it, getting a smile in return. I wave goodbye to him before beginning the journey back to the dressing room.

Just as I reach the bottom of the corridor that our dressing room is in, one of our lesser used guards appears out of nowhere and pushes me back against the wall, a hand tight over my mouth. I don’t even remember this guy’s name; I only know that he is one of the guards that are brought in when the crowds get too much for the guards that we work closest with. He’s a big guy and that’s without the added strength of his wolf when it makes an appearance.

“What are you doing all alone runt?” He growls directly in my face. I move my face away as much as I can by pushing my head further back and slightly to the side but I haven’t got far to move and his hand won’t let me turn my face away too far. He leans close, moving my head to get at my neck where my scent would be strongest. “Oh so close but not there yet, what’s the matter runt, can't you get your wolf to come out and play?” His voice has an underlying growl to it, making me want to shrink away from it because it sounds all wrong in every way possible.

“His wolf might not, but ours certainly will.” A loud growl comes from directly to the side of us, maybe around 4 feet away from me, and I can tell straight away that it is Ashton. I slide my eyes to him and see two wolves either side of a still human Ashton, the only thing holding the other two back is the hand he has on their scruffs.

The guy gives Ashton a once over before taking a single step back, keeping me pressed against the wall with one hand as the other hand stay pressed to my mouth. “Run along pups, we were having a nice conversation before you appeared.” He pauses before adding more. “You do not scare me pup, you cannot do anything.”

If there is one thing the boys hate with a passion, it is being called pups. Ashton's eyes flicker between his own and his wolf's eye colours but his hands do not move. Instead of reacting to the obvious bait, he smirks, more animalistic than human.  His eyes changing between colours, canines lengthened slightly and his voice more gravelly than usual, he speaks. “I may not be able to do anything to you, however much I want to, but those four can and will.” Ashton signals with his head to the other side of us, I can’t move enough to see but I trust that Ashton isn’t lying.

The guard holding me doesn’t even turn, just takes a single breath through his nose, before swearing. His eyes turn gold in anger before he lashes out, throwing my head back into the wall and turning my world dark as I lose consciousness.

I wonder who he smelt but in light of recent events, it’s the least of my worries right now.

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I slowly come round, though I keep my eyes closed for a bit longer, and become aware of the two warm furred bodies curled either side of me. I groan quietly and weakly bat at one of them when they start to snuffle at me.

Slowly, I open my eyes, jumping when I see the golden eyes right in front of my face. The wolf is dark brown, almost black, which means its Calum. He huffs softly, licking my cheek softly before looking down in the direction that my feet are facing. Michael’s wolf is like a light blonde, but he calls it cream no matter what we say, he snuffles at my hair before just resting with his muzzle near my head, his version of comfort I assume.

I take a few seconds to get my bearings before slowly working my way up to a sitting position, Calum quickly moving to lie behind me in case I need him to support myself with. I find Ashton quickly, seeing him slumped across from us, leant back against the wall, he seems to be asleep or at least resting.

I snort under my breath, before focusing on where I have been unconsciously petting Michael, he doesn’t seem to mind all that much although he’ll probably deny it when he shifts back, not that I’m thinking of talking about it later, but it’s just a passing thought.

After a few seconds, I start to feel antsy so I haul myself up to a standing position, not even registering the lack of pain until a few seconds later. It is kind of suspicious but I write it off for now as the boys having taken away my pain while I was still out for the count.

As I come back from the bathroom, I see that Ashton has moved to lie on the sofa now. I check the time before grabbing my clothes and quickly changing.

“Boys, we have half an hour until we are due on stage.” I say quickly when I see Calum tilt his head in question, obviously wondering why I am changing. In a blink, both Calum and Michael are back in their human forms and grabbing their own clothes. Obviously finding out the time had slipped their minds while I was still passed out.

Ashton lazily gets up, getting his stuff at a more leisurely pace. Once he is dressed, faster than the other two who are rushing around and getting caught in garments of clothing, he motions for me to walk with him so that we can get wired up by the crew.

Once I have everything , Ashton goes through his routine of checking in with his beta’s, resting his hand on the back of their necks and scenting them, letting them scent him in return. Surprisingly, he comes over to where I am waiting, usually off to the side so that they have their space, pulling me in, gently, to his chest and resting one of his hands partially on the back of my head and partially on the back of my neck as he rests his forehead against mine and looks me directly in the eye. There is no fight here, but I can tell that this does mean something even if I don’t know what exactly that is.  His eyes flash red quickly and it provokes a weird feeling in me, but obviously nothing happens since I’m human, and as quickly as he initiated the gesture, he pulls back and disappears off to do his own thing which includes riling up the crowd for a minute or so.

I shrug the whole ordeal off and grab my guitar from one of the techs standing nearby, quickly checking that my in-ears are working properly before getting ready to run out when the lights go down. As soon as the lights go down and Ashton has played the note that signals our cue, the three of us run forward and get to our positions – Michael and Calum standing on the raised platforms right in front of people as I stand in front of my microphone, the crowd already know where we are supposed to be but never knowing exactly when we are going to appear as it gets so dark that even werewolves are at a disadvantage but somehow I seem to manage alright in the dark every time.

After three beats the lights flash and come back up as the screams become deafening, making us all thankful that our in-ears also block out a majority of the outside noise, I’m basically deaf to the screams because my in-ears are made for werewolves so I hear nothing but my guitar and the vocals if I have both of them in but I’m sure the boys appreciate the in-ears a hell of a lot every time this happens. With another flash of the lights, we all start up the beginning of the first song on the set list, everyone already starting to feel the hype that performing to a crowd gives you.

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As we pull up from our final bow, I can already feel the hype and adrenaline leaving my body and mind clearing as I just feel calm, a whole lot quicker than usual but whatever. We throw out the picks and drumsticks before leaving the stage, I walk slightly behind the others as I lazily flick through my phone not even looking up as we go, just following wherever I hear the boys heading towards.

As we enter the dressing room, a crew member passes us water bottles. I take the one offered but wait until they have left the room to drop it onto a table nearby, not feeling all that thirsty right now so I am going to leave it here for now. I change quickly, shoving my stuff in my bag and waiting for the other three to finish changing.

I pause my scrolling when I see a picture that was screenshotted from a video that was apparently taken at tonights show, it makes me pause because the picture shows me looking directly towards where the person was and my eyes seem to reflect slightly more than usual, the comment above the image seems to be making guesses of possible explanations – one of the people in the comments even said that it could be contact lenses, that comment makes me chuckle since I know that it isn’t true since I’m sure I would remember if I had put contacts in at any point in the night.

I frown before enlarging the image, zooming on my face but still not being able to explain it away so I end up just leaving the whole tweet and closing twitter, I screenshot it first but otherwise put it out of my mind for now. It must be a fault with their camera and the glare from the lights around at the time the picture was taken, it has to be.

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I roll over, squinting my eyes as I switch on my phone to check the time, seeing that I have been in bed for two and a half hours and yet I haven’t been able to sleep. I push the covers off, getting up and pulling on some sweatpants, before sliding open the balcony door so that I can step outside.  I take a few deep breaths, leaning against the barrier, as I feel the night around me and watch the activities of the night hours, the moonlight making it easier to see the world around me. It’s not a full moon but it’s still pretty bright tonight.

I close my eyes and just listen for a little while, feeling calmer now that I am out here, as different sounds catch my attention here and there but they always seem to fade away every time I try to focus on them. I can hear chatter from below and when I look over the edge, I can faintly see figures on the street with signs – apparently some fans really will do anything to get a glimpse of us, including stay up all night long.

I huff quietly, shaking my head before tipping it back as I look up the stars, sighing contently at how calm I feel now. With that, I turn back to my room, shutting the door again once I’m in the room but frown when I feel the restlessness coming back. As I think about what to do, something sparks in my mind. Pack members can get restless when they are too far from their pack or feel left out by another member. Michael used to get really fidgety whenever Calum paid Ashton more attention but now they have worked out their own thing and it doesn’t happen much anymore ... but could I really be feeling that considering I’m not exactly a wolf?

I mean, I’ve never heard of it happening to a human pack member but there’s no saying that it can’t occur. One person I know that might know is on the other side of the world right now but I seriously hope that it isn’t too early or late to call now.

I wait as the phone dials before relaxing as I hear them pick up. “What’s up Hemmo?”

“Hi Jack.” I mumble, biting my lip to hide my smile. I miss my brothers a hell of a lot more than I thought I would.

“Like I said, what’s up? It’s late over there as far as I can tell from my rough maths skills.”

“It's like 2:30 in the morning so yeah, pretty early.”  I pause and he waits for me to continue instead of jumping in. “Jack, is it possible for human pack members to get restless from not being close to the pack?”

“Well, it’s possible under certain circumstances, why are you asking?” he replies.

“I can’t sleep, I did go outside for a bit and it made me feel better but as soon as I came back in, well it just started up again.” I gnaw on my lip gently. “Is there something wrong with me?” I ask after a few seconds of silence.

“No buddy, I’m just heading downstairs to find mum to ask her something, give me a second.” He mutters quickly as I can hear him moving and talking to someone, obviously having pulled the phone away and half-heartedly covered the mic.

Before I wind myself up too much, I hear muffled shuffling before my mum’s voice comes down the phone. “Lukey, have you tried going for a walk or something? Maybe you’re just not tired enough to lie still long enough to fall asleep.”

“We can’t leave the hotel; last time someone tried they barely made it 20 feet before being noticed and had to dash back.” I reply, having been told what happened by our security team many times since it occurred in an effort to warn us off of going outside without telling them or having them with us.

She hums before something must spark in her mind as I hear a quiet gasp. “Luke, stay on the phone but can you find Ashton, I think I might have some idea of what’s going on. It’s nothing bad, I would just feel better if you had someone there that I knew you were comfortable around and someone I know I can trust to handle it if it is what I think it is.”

As much as she is trying to sound calming and comforting, it isn’t really helping because now I feel uneasy, that maybe the things that I thought were nothing may have more meaning behind than I first thought. I pull on a sweatshirt and slip my feet into some shoes quickly before exiting my room, making sure I have my key before letting the door fully shut. Once I am in the corridor, I rub a hand over my face before running my fingers through my hair as I make my way quietly to the room that Ashton should be in. I knock half-heartedly on the door as I listen to my mum scolding Ben for trying to take something or other while she has her back turned - as if she didn’t know he was there in the first place. She’s a good alpha, a lot sneakier than any of us boys ever gave her credit for when we were younger since she always managed to figure out what we were up to or catch us at just the right time to get us into trouble.

I jump, looking up when the door in front of me opens. Ashton yawns but beckons me in; shutting the door behind me once I am fully into the room. He turns on the light by the bed before giving the phone a strange look when I hear Jack swear in the background, obviously my brothers haven’t learnt that they shouldn’t try and take things from the kitchen without asking first. I mean, none of us are perfect little angels around our mums but at least I get away with it occasionally while my brothers always end up getting caught in the act.

“Now what do you want me to do?” I ask into the phone as stifle a yawn directly after my words. I am so damn tired but I can’t be still or it drives me insane.

“Now you’re going to go and lay down - don’t think I didn’t hear that yawn - while I speak to Ashton.” She commands. Her Alpha tone won’t work over the phone but she knows that because she is my mum, I will do it anyway just to please her and to keep myself out of trouble.

I huff but toss the device to Ash before crawling onto the mattress and digging my face into the gap between the pillows, feeling my muscles relax as soon as I am lying down on the bed which is totally fine with me at this point. Ashton is only across the room but I have no idea what is being said so I just give up and rest. I jump when I feel someone shake my shoulder and tune back into the sound around me as I see that the phone is now on speaker.

“My phone bill is going to be hell if you two use up all my minutes.” I grumble into the pillows.

“Your phone bill is the least of your worries right about now; now listen to your mother for two seconds.” Ashton retorts cheekily, sitting cross-legged next to me.

I sit up and mumble confirmation that I am indeed listening before she starts to ask questions.

“How long have you been feeling this restless?”

“I don’t know, I only really noticed it when I went to bed and tried to sleep.” I shrug to myself as I rack my brain for more information but I seriously don’t know.

“Is there anything else we should know? Right now there are two possibilities; one of them is the one you suggested about wanting to be near pack, but there is another possibility and we need more if we’re going to be able to pinpoint exactly what is going on.” Ashton cuts in before my mum can speak again, not that it sounded like she was going to.

I stare at him blankly for a few seconds before dropping backwards against the pillows. “Like what?”

“Weird feelings, doing something you usually wouldn’t, hearing or seeing things you shouldn’t be able to. Increased senses in any way.” Ashton lists off random things.

“I kind of noticed that I dropped back to being calm quicker than usual after the show, and I felt calmer when I went outside earlier before I came here.” I think for a moment before grabbing Ashton's phone off of the side and unlocking it, bringing twitter up to find the tweet from earlier. Once I find it I pass it to him. “There was this but I thought it was just a fault with the camera and lights combination so I didn’t really put much thought into it when I saw it earlier.”

He studies it before locking his phone. “I guess it's a little more information to work with.” He comments after forwarding the picture to my mum so that she can see it too.

My mum seems to have been listening but she talks again once Ashton has finished speaking. “I hate to say it Ash, but if this is it then it was going to happen at some point.”

Ashton growls lowly at that, making me pull my legs away from him in case he lashes out, though I know he wouldn’t hurt me if he could help it.

“Look, we’ll call at some point tomorrow and hopefully figure more out but it's late and I really don’t want to get into this right now. He’ll stay with me for the night, he seems comfortable enough so it shouldn’t be a problem and we’ve shared a room before. I’ll know if he wanders off so he shouldn’t get too far if he does decide to try it. We’ll figure this out.” With that, the phone is taken off of speaker mode and we both say goodnight before the call is over and my phone is put on the side with his.

He settles down next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist after rearranging me slightly so that we can both lie comfortably. After a few seconds, I feel him sigh and nuzzle softly at my shoulder.

“Calum said that he thought something was up with you before he left here earlier, he said that something felt off about you but not in the same way as being ill. He couldn’t really describe it but I guess he wasn’t wrong.” He mumbles.

I hum but fall asleep pretty quickly after that so nothing gets said in return, nothing I’m aware of at least but it is entirely possible that I did say some half-hearted, unintelligible response in return.

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I wake up to someone jumping on top of me, groaning in pain when they elbow me in the ribs. I hear them swear before the duvet is pushed down and I open my eyes to see Michael looking guiltily down at me.

“Sorry Luke, I didn’t know you were there.” He apologises.

I huff but pull myself up into a sitting position, noting that Ashton is awake and lying next to me but not doing anything to tell Michael off for hurting me. He sends me a cheeky smile but I just glare at him before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

He stays silent though which annoys me more than it should, but I just slam the door before going about my business. Once I have finished and washed up quickly, I make my way towards the door but stop when I hear the conversation going on in the other room. Ashton is informing them of basically everything that went on last night; I guess he is seeing if they know anything that could help him but it still annoys me that now everyone will know how messed up I am. I huff, opening the door and making my way across the room to grab my phone, which is still on the side next to Ashtons and exactly where he put it last night which means that, thankfully, no one has touched it since then. I am a little protective over my phone and who has access to it.

I move away from the bed as I check my texts, seeing some from friends in the area which I reply to vaguely since I can’t be bothered with thinking about going out right now. There is also a couple from Jack.

Jack Skellington: I hope you figure it out.

Jack Skellington: Sleep well Hemmo, I have a feeling you might need it...

I chuckle, even from across the world he still takes his big brother role seriously, worrying about me and checking in with me whenever he has time, though Ben isn’t much better. I shoot him a quick text to tell him that I’m alright before pocketing my phone and pulling on my shoes.

“Are you going back to your room to get dressed?” Ashton asks.

“That was the plan.” I reply shortly, trying to ignore the feeling I get when his eyes flash red as he lets out a sigh, not liking how I answered but not going to cause an argument over it.

I leave the room and reach mine quickly. I take a quick shower, just to properly freshen up, shave and pull on some fresh clothes. Once I am finished, I take a minute or so to decide what I want to do now. I make sure I have my phone and room key before leaving the room, taking the elevator down to the lobby before handing over my room key for safe keeping until I get back. I wander along the streets with my hands in my pockets before finding a park not far from the hotel.

I sit down on a bench that overlooks the play area and pond, just observing the people around me. Watching some of the kids playing together actually hurts because I remember when I was their age and not being able to play along because they could always do everything better so I was left on my own because nobody wanted to hold back just to let me join in on their games. Even now, watching some of the kids in their wolf forms chasing each other makes me feel like an outsider looking in on a completely different world that I was never meant to be part of.

I am broken out of my thoughts by a kid tugging on my jacket sleeve. When I turn my head to him, he smiles and climbs up onto the bench next to me.

“You smell sad. Why are you sad mister?” he asks, childlike in every sense of the word. If only we could all stay so oblivious to the dangers of the world around us.

I chuckle. “Weren’t you ever told that you shouldn’t talk to strangers?” I reply instead of answering his question.

“He was but he likes to cheer people up hence why he found his way to you.” An older boy approaches us.

I smile softly, turning my head to face the child again. “I’m sad because I was remembering when I was your age and not being allowed to join in on the games by the other children because I’m not a wolf like they were.”

He looks so dejected when I say this but something in his eyes seems determined. “I don’t mind that you’re not a wolf, I would still play with someone like you no matter what.”

I smile; if only there were kids like him when I was young. “Promise me, if you ever find a kid like me that the other kids won’t play with, make them smile and let them play with you even if it’s the only time you ever see them.” I hold out my pinkie to him.

He nods with a serious face, linking his pinkie with mine and promising to do just that before the older boy quickly ushers him off to go and play.

“I couldn’t imagine not having my wolf but I guess it still hurts now when your band mates leave you out of pack activities.” The older boy sighs, sitting down in the newly vacant seat. Of course he would know who I was, I’m famous after all – yet somehow it still surprises me when someone recongnises us on the street. “My brother will keep that promise no matter what. I’ll do the same since it made you smell happier that kids won’t get left out because of something they cannot control.”

I smile before the boy leaves me alone again to go and search out his brother who has wandered off again. I get my phone out when it rings, answering the call as I get up and start the walk back.

“You know I don’t like my pack wandering off without telling me first.” Ashton's voice comes through pretty clearly.

“You’re right, I do know that but I think you miss the point. A pack is made up of wolves and I seem to be lacking in that department.” I reply, smirking when I hear Calum laugh in the background at something Ashton mumbles under his breath.

“I hope you’re on your way back because we have 20 minutes before our tour manager wants us to be ready to get in the car.” He replies before ending the call.

I pull it away from my ear, giving it a weird look as it registers that he just hung up on me. I chuckle before pocketing the device and hurrying my pace, smiling to myself when I make it back to the hotel. I grab my key from the receptionist before heading up to my room to throw some clothes in a bag that I want to wear at the show tonight. Once that is done, I take it with me back to Ashton’s room.

When I enter the room, I am tackled by Calum’s wolf. I drop my bag quickly and roll as I hit the floor, landing on my feet as I crouch with one hand braced on the floor and the other arm ready to swipe if need be. I stare down the wolf, watching as he whines, ducking his head and rolls onto his side and exposing his stomach to show he means no harm.

I flex my free hand, noting how tightly strung my muscles are, ready to move quickly if that is what has to be done. I huff, standing and turning my back on Calum as I move my bag away from the door and drop it next to the bed. Ashton looks thoughtful before his eyes flash as he focuses back on me; I drop down next to him, laying on my front by his side and wrapping one of my arms around his stomach as I rest my forehead against his ribs. Michael’s wolf comes over to sniff me before shifting back.

“You smell weird Lukey. Not just because you were with people. This is something else.” He mumbles, obviously contemplating possibilities. Ashton hums, and I look up to see him nodding in confirmation. “Also, you looked so ready to fight Calum even though you knew it was him.”

I grumble against Ashton side, prodding him in the ribs hard when he giggles at Michael comment. He hisses, batting at me as a reprimand. I pull back and sit up, cross-legged on the bed, as I close my eyes. I’m bored so I want to test some stuff out. Ashton last night was obviously thinking along the lines of gearing up to present when he asked all those questions so I just want to see if my senses are actually changing.

With my eyes closed, I focus on the stuff I can hear. At first, I can only hear the stuff I am used to but the more I focus, I feel like I can faintly hear more. I jump when I hear something drop quite loudly, opening my eyes to seek out the source before seeing the tap in the bathroom dripping. Ok, so my hearing is getting better because that was pretty damn loud when I focused on it.

I hum in thought before trying to see what I can smell. At first, nothing seems to be weird but then I start to smell small things that I haven’t before. One thing I can smell close by really smells like a damp dog though and when I look around I see that Michael is still damp from his shower I guess he took when I was out. I wrinkle my nose, turning away, before jumping and focusing on Calum’s phone that is in his bag by the door.

I glare at the shrill noise it made; I tip my head to the side, trying to identify what the sound is meant to be when it happens again. When it finally stops after two more chirps, I shake my head and focus on what is happening around me instead, finding all three of them watching me as Michael has his phone in his hand and text screen open on Calum’s contact.

“I think that answered your questions from last night.” Calum mumbles to Ashton who nods.

“My wolf?” I ask unsurely.

“Yeah, I guess your wolf is starting to wake up and make an appearance after all.” Ashton replies.

“Then why were you and my mum so scared about this happening?”

“You’re nearly nineteen Luke. Up until two months after you 18^th birthday, your bones are a little more flexible to shifting for the first time. Now you’re past that time limit, we don’t think it’s going to be as fluid a shift as it should be. Your mum wanted you to find me last night because your pack instinct and senses look like they are starting to set in so it is better for you if you had a close bond with your alpha. If will keep your wolf calmer, help to settle your pack instincts and overall instincts and it means you have someone who you can trust with you when shit goes down.” Ashton tries to make it sound less than it is but I get it straight away. I’m older than a usual shifter is around their first shift so there is a high possibility that it’s going to be hell for me. Having a strong bond with my alpha will help to keep my instincts in check and it means I have someone I trust around me that I can rely on to keep me going when I feel like giving up.

I hum as I slowly get up, finding my phone to shoot my mother a nice little text. I’m not expecting a response since it is a little harsher that I had originally intended but I don’t care all that much right now.

Lukey <3: Mum, I would appreciate it if I knew what was wrong with me instead of playing it off next time.

 With that done, I drop it on the side again and take a deep breath. I look down as I clench my fist, noticing the little prickles going up my arm that make me release the fist instantly as I rub at my forearm to get rid of them. They feel kind of like pins and needles.

As I turn around, my eyes darken for a second before coming back to normal, similar to the concert last night but I thought it was because of a light hitting me in the face then. I tense when I feel a hand pull me in by the back of my head until I am again face to face with Ashton.

“Getting angry about being left in the dark will not solve anything. If you want this to work and be as comfortable as possible then you have to stay calm. You need this bond as much as your wolf does Lukey.” Ashton whispers but I hear him perfectly.

His eyes shift to red and stay that way and I see my eyes darken around the edges as if something should happen but I’m not sure if it does.

“Your eyes are so close to showing but not quite there. It’s insane. “Michael mumbles as Calum hums.

I close my eyes as focus on what I am meant to do in a situation like this, what I’ve seen Calum and Michael do when in a hold like this. When I open my eyes, I meet his gaze before tipping my head to the side to show that I submit to him, feeling his hand tense on the back of my neck as he lets his fangs ghost over my neck before pulling back. As soon as he lets go, I feel like someone drops a tonne weight on me for a second as my vision goes fuzzy, dulling slightly before returning to normal. I stumble but shake it off quickly as I notice that Calum has wandered to the door which is now open.

When I see our tour manager on the other side, I grab my bag from where I put it earlier and ignore the looks Michael keeps shooting me, as if I am going to bolt at any moment. I follow Calum to the car, making sure to get the furthest seat from the open door. Once I am in my seat, I shove my headphones on and turn up my music, not enough to deafen me but enough to drown out any outside noise.

I ignore the other two when they get in not far behind us and Ashton seems to get that I just want some time to let it all sink in, distracting the other two so that they do not start asking too many questions.

I pull one headphone away from my ear so I know where we are going once we get out of the car but keep one of them on so I can still listen to my music. I play with the strap of my backpack as I walk, loosening and tightening the adjusting part of the strap. I shrug it off when I finally reach the dressing room from yesterday where we have been set up again, curling up in the corner of the three-seater sofa and staring blankly at the black screen of my phone.

I huff when I hear one of them drop something since it landed quite loudly, looking up and seeking out Ashton when I feel like I have the right questions in my mind that I want answers to. As soon as our eyes meet, he nods towards the door before standing as I scramble up and move to leave the room. We walk through the corridors in silence, finding a wide open space that the crew set up our snack area later on, closer to show time.

Ashton sits quietly across from me when I drop down at one of the tables, waiting for me to speak.

“This bond I am meant to have...what kind of bond are we talking about here?”

He keeps his eyes on his hands that are calmly folded on the table in front him, thinking over his words. “It would depend on how comfortable you feel around me but preferably the kind of bond where you trust me with everything. Not 100% depending on me exactly but trusting me to help you in whatever it is.” He pauses, looking towards me to make sure I am getting some understanding out of this. “I’m not saying you have to rush into this or do something you’re not comfortable with, this is something we both have to figure out. However, you have to understand that wolves are tactile by nature so touch is a big part. It doesn’t have to be intimate either, it can be hugging or even as simple as placing a hand on someone. Your mum even suggested that for the time being you stay with me so that if something happens I can help quicker.”

“Are there behaviours you will expect of me?” I ask once I take all of that in.

“Each wolf is different so behaviours cannot be predicted. The easiest way to figure out what you might show is to ask your mum about what your brothers were like; it’s the closest we would be able to get. The behaviours that I won’t be surprised to find if they come about is the need to be close to an alpha, it’s a form of safety and it strengthens your bond with your pack. Scenting is unavoidable as well, unfortunately, that will affect both of us so I hope I don’t overstep any boundaries but my wolf will want to take in the new scent whenever it can.” He is trying to help and I can see that clearly, which actually makes me feel a bit better about my situation.

“I may know a little about how my brothers were. I know being around shifters during this time when you’re a human isn’t advised but it fascinated me so I always snuck around to spend time with them. I just want to say right here, right now that I am sorry if I do end up going through a stage like they did.” When he looks confused, I continue a little awkwardly. “My mum was more careful about letting their girlfriends come round because when the boys were at this stage their hormones went nuts and they, to put it bluntly, got overly sexual. My mum was running around all day trying to stop one from antagonising the other during that time. She even says to this day that she is thankful that they shifted at different times.”

He nods, looking thoughtful. “I guess it’s understandable, young wolves are pretty frisky. If it gets to that then I won’t hold it against you if you get as bad as your brothers did but I also won’t let you get away with certain behaviours during that time, I will still reprimand you as your Alpha.”

“I get it; I just thought it might be helpful. There was more to my brother’s behaviour but I was young and didn’t always realise what was happening so we would definitely have to ask my mum what else they went through just in case.” I nod, agreeing with what he said. He hums in agreement. “As for what you said about us sticking close, well I’ll go along with it completely as long as all three of you promise not to hold anything against me. I am in control of my actions right now but I don’t know how much longer that will last if this shift goes at the speed it is right now.”

He smiles before getting up; looking back towards the corridors we came through earlier. “Are you ready to go back? I’ll make them promise as soon as we get there if that’s what you want. If you have any more questions than you can ask around the other two, they went through this too so they may be able to give you some advice. I may be a true alpha with some education on how to look after my pack but I don’t know everything about first shifts other than my own.”

I huff in laughter before following him back, deciding halfway there that he needs to give me a piggyback. He just laughs but carries me none the less, kicking the door open gently and moving through to get into the room. I playfully hold on tighter when he goes to drop me onto the sofa. He nips softly at my arm so that I let go before crouching so I don’t have that far to fall.

“Hey, I don’t wanna sit down.” I whine, Ashton sticking his tongue out at me in response.

As I think of how wolf-like some of his expressions are, it dawns on me what today is. “Oh, boys. It’s a full moon tonight.” I sing playfully, loving the look that Michael and Calum share. “Looks like it’s a pack night tonight.”

I literally cackle when I see the look on Ashton's face though. He loves us, he does, but he hates full moons because Michael gets snappy sometimes and Calum gets super touchy no matter what. I haven’t been a problem up until now but who knows how this one is going to impact me.

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I lay in the middle of the floor on my back, watching the moonlight move across the floor as the others watch a movie on the TV. That is Ashton's way of trying to distract them. He would usually shut the curtains but the ones here are pretty flimsy so there wasn’t much point.

I groan when Michael decides that the movie is too boring for him and instead decides that I am something that needs jumping on. I push him off of me only for him to see this as a game and jump on me again. After five attempts at pushing him away nicely, he still keeps coming back and each time with a more devilish look in his eye, I finally snap, shoving him as hard as I can away from me and not even caring when he hits something and yelps in pain.

“That is your own damn fault. I am not something you jump on. Leave me alone before I am tempted to turn you into a new rug for the hotel.”

He whimpers but crawls up onto the bed with his tail between his legs. He does nudge Ashton for comfort but all he gets is a pat on the head with a small “I warned you.” to show for his efforts.

Calum, who is also in his wolf form now, tilts his head to the side before jumping down and sitting next to me. He lays his paw gently on my leg, waiting for me to do something. I sigh but sit up so we are face to face. He licks my face before whimpering in Michael’s direction.

“I know you don’t like when a member of the pack is hurt Cal but he deserved it. He needs to learn that some things aren’t a game.” I mumble, patting his head softly.

He whimpers again before resting his chin on my shoulder when I lean forward. I wrap one arm around him, nuzzling the fur on his neck and fisting his fur in my hand to keep him close for a second though he doesn’t seem to be complaining too much, just shifting around to rest more comfortably against me. I let go eventually, nudging him back to the bed.

All night so far I have tried to avoid laying in the direct moonlight just in case so when I see it getting closer to where I am lying, I sigh in defeat and get up to find a new place. I look around when I hear Ashton rumble softly to catch my attention.

“Come over here. I know you’re tired and scared about what might happen but we’ll keep you safe if anything does happen. I’ll keep you safe Lukey, I promise.”

I look over the bed and back to where I had been planning to go before changing routes, kicking off my shoes and getting rid of jeans after checking if it’s alright. I crawl up the bed and lay flush against Ashton's side without thinking much about it, relaxing a bit more when he turns on his side and pulls me to his chest as he wraps his arms around me, placing one of his hands on Michaels back as the fingertips of the other hand brush against Calum once they have both settled down too.

Soon I fall into a shallow slumber, too highly alert to really be able to rest, fully aware of what is going on around me but not necessarily reacting to it. Calum and Michael shift back during the night and change into something to cover up, but other than that, nothing much really happens all night.

I finally settle down to rest properly as the sun starts to come up, knowing I can get away with sleeping in late since we have no plans tomorrow/today. Our break starts after the next show which is after tomorrow's show so that is kind of helpful for me given that my wolf wants to make an appearance.

I keep my eyes shut though when I wake up again a while later, I don’t even need to check the clock to know that it's around eight in the morning, if that, considering I am only awoken by Michael wriggling around as he tries to get out of the covers, obviously having woken up not long ago so his coordination is pretty much non-existent right now.

“Michael, be careful will you. I’m pretty sure Luke was awake all night, now he is finally sleeping let’s not wake him up again.” Calum hisses at him.

I am glad I am facing away from them, still curled up around Ashton though, who seems to be either still asleep or just really intent not to wake me up. Calum is a good wolf most days but its moments like this that make me doubt his senses because he should know that I’m already awake.

I nuzzle Ashton's shoulder gently before just resting, breathing calmly and feeling like I can take a deep breath for the first time all night and not have to worry about something happening. I wriggle slightly when I feel Ashton return the gesture as he rubs my lower back comfortingly. So that answered my question from earlier, he is awake and probably well aware that I am too...damn it.

“You two are so noisy.” I feel his voice rumble through his chest where my forehead is resting against the skin. Ashton is still turned on his side facing me, hence the position.

“At least I tried to be quiet and not kick anybody when I got up. Michael is like a three-year-old when he first wakes up.” Calum starts to ramble but quickly shuts up when Ashton shushes him.

“I know you were quiet. Even when I’m asleep I know where you all are.” Ashton yawns, rubbing his cheek against my head as he stretches his legs out, scent marking me in what I think is meant to be a comforting way. I sigh, pressing into his chest a little more to show some sort of thanks without having to speak. “Michael woke him up anyway Cal.” Ashton mumbles, running his fingers through the back of my hair causing me to bite my lip to hold back any noise – you don’t understand how good that feels after such a long night until you’ve lived it, it feels amazing.

Calum groans. “Why do you have to be so kick-happy in the morning?” the question obviously directed at Michael.

“I’m sorry Lukey. Go back to sleep or something.” Michael yawns as he finishes his sentence.

I turn to lay on my back, rubbing my hands over my face and scrubbing at my eyes to get rid of the stingy feeling I always get when I’m really tired. “Forget it. Its fine, I’ll catch up on my sleep tonight or something.” I mumble tiredly, sitting up to talk to them properly.

“Luke, if even I can smell how tired you are then it’s obviously not fine. We all know I’m pretty shit when it comes to my senses so it must be bad for even me to know.” Calum responds.

Michael backing him up. “Also, don’t forget we can hear lies.”

I whine but just drop back onto the mattress. Ashton leans down, running his nose against my shoulder to scent me before pulling me into his side. “Go back to sleep Lukey. Pack looks out for each other; we’re sticking close no matter what until all of this is over.”

I hum to show I heard before turning back to face his chest, burrowing into his warmth and settling down, already feeling sleep begging to take over again and once I’m comfortable, I give in and drift off again.

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I nuzzle against the warm surface in front of me as I slowly wake up, feeling so much more rested than before and actually kind of thankful that I took the boys advice for once even if it was technically under force. As I become aware of my surrounding, I remember that this is Ashton that I am laying against and basically using as a human pillow and shield from everything. I ignore the whisper in my mind that is telling me to scent him though, as close as we are I am not sure he would be too happy about being licked or something like that. I grumble to myself when it gets louder, blocking my ears in what I know is a useless attempt to block it out.

I feel a wet tongue slide across my shoulder before they start sniffing me, whimpering because of whatever they smell.

“He’s alright Calum. He just doesn’t know how to adjust to each change.” Ashton mumbles, stroking Calum when he moves close enough.

“It won’t shut up.” I murmur after turning to lie on my back but keep a hand in contact with Ashton.

“Wolves tend to never shut up when trapped in our human form, hence why these two spend a lot of time like this when in the hotel. It’s more freeing.” Ashton replies, sitting up and moving to lean back against the headboard and interlocking our fingers instead. “Come here.” He tugs at my hand.

I huff lazily but sit up and turn around to face him, squeaking when he pulls me forward and into his lap so that I am straddling his thighs. “If I didn’t know any better I would think you were trying to get up close and personal here.” I joke.

He chuckles but wraps a hand around my neck and leads my face down until it is buried against the skin of his neck which is where a wolf's scent is at its strongest. I nuzzle the area automatically, freezing when I actually feel him lick at the skin around the same area on my neck, scent marking me again and basically doing the act that my head is trying to make me do.

I, without fully meaning to, shrink as much as I can and try to hide my neck from him which gets a deep rumble from him as he pulls me against his chest. “You know I’m not going to hurt you Luke, you don’t have to hide. I already warned you that my wolf will be more tactile with its advances, I know it’s more than you’re used to.”

I regain some of my confidence slowly, nudging at his jaw line until he tips his head to avoid me bumping him again. I give in to what that whisper wants me to do, moving back to where I had been earlier and moving with more purpose now as I piece together what it is I am meant to do. Before I lose confidence, I hesitantly lick over the skin before rubbing my cheek against it which should, if I remember correctly, kind of combine our scent so we’re carrying each other’s scent temporarily.

I notice his breath catch but he shakes it off and lets me move away when I hear a playful scuffle behind us. I laugh, moving quickly off of Ashton and the bed and jumping onto Michael where Calum has him pinned to the floor.

“Payback for last night you asshole.” I joke as I help Calum keep him down until he starts to beg to be let up finally. He even goes as far as to apologise over and over again until switching to full on begging until we let go when he realises that it isn’t working in his favour.

Once I let him go, I jump back on the bed and sit crossed legged in front of Ashton. “When are we calling my mum to find out more? I feel like if we don’t do it soon then we may run out of time to prepare for shit to go down.”

Instead of answering verbally, he leans over and grabs my phone, unlocking it and speed dialling my mum’s number once we check the time is reasonable over there.

“Hello boys.” She greets, probably having been expecting this call since the other day. Or maybe it’s because she can tell she is on speaker. The other three greet her but I keep quiet, trying to prepare myself in the event that what we find out may make this a pretty uncomfortable place for me to be. “What can I help you with today? Luke hasn’t done anything too bad yet, right?”

“No, Luke's fine. Terrified but fine none the less.” Ashton replies shortly. “Actually, we were hoping you could help us in the respect of how your other son’s behaved during their first shift. It’s the closest we can come to predicting Luke’s and being able to prepare for it in any way.”

“That is true.” Mum responds, obviously tuning more into the conversation that now that it is getting serious. “Well, I’m sure Luke told you about one of their traits. It’s an unfortunate trait and I hope Luke avoids it but I can’t say whether he has that luck or not. As for other stuff, well there is the usual stuff of wild moods and stuff like that.” She pauses, thinking about something. “Ashton, I don’t know how much you understand of what I asked you to do but it’s kind of more than just establishing rank. My boys so far have had a tendency to seek out the alpha of the pack and stay close anyway.”

As I remember the things she has mentioned, I remember other things that she seems to be intentionally leaving out. “Oh god.” I mumble. “Please don’t tell me that I have to do the same as Jack and Ben if it comes to it.”

The boys shoot me a curious look but I keep my attention on the phone where it sounds like mum understands exactly what I am on about. “Nobody is saying it will happen to you as well but it is probably something you should keep in mind; maybe bring it up with the right people.”

I groan, letting myself fall back and slide off of the bed just so the pain will distract me from that thought. “I hate my life.” I say loudly from the floor.

“Is this linked to what we talked about?” Ashton asks, looking over the edge at me.

“Kind of. It’s embarrassing and I’d rather not think about it right now.” I reply, getting back up on the bed. “So, other than that, is there anything I should look out for that isn’t behaviour related? Like, if I’m not around Ashton and something happens...what I am meant to do instead of panic, although I’ll probably do that anyway.”

“The warnings of any wolf preparing to want to shift are pins and needles and flashes of your eye colour. You should probably watch out for your fangs as well. If you’re not with Ashton then at least find pack of some form that can get Ashton.” She says carefully, making my eyes widen and look down at the arm that had experienced pins and needles yesterday. “By that silence, I’m going to say that you may have already found one of those out.”

“Erm....yeah, maybe.” I mumble.

The boys talk to my mum for another half an hour and get more information but I’m not even pretending to listen anymore, it finally sinking in just how close I am to losing my full human status and becoming what I meant to be. Once the phone call is over and Ashton has sent the other two off to get food, he brings up what I had said to my mum during the call.

“What did your brothers have to do? You didn’t seem to like the idea of it whatever it is.”

I blush, puffing out a deep breath. “I mentioned how my mum monitored them with their girlfriends but there is more to it. She stopped full on sex to stop them losing control and hurting the girls but she had a deal with their girlfriends... They had to keep to rules or they didn’t come round until the boys were safe to be around.” I fidget, cringing at how awkward I become with stuff like this. “A lot of play mating happened until my brothers could finally control it, and only once mum was satisfied with their control did she end the deal with the girls. Jack learned control quicker so it wasn’t as awkward but Ben’s shift was a nightmare for everyone until he found an anchor. I hated being around them then and it’s why I don’t want to even think about having to forge any deal like that with anyone. I don’t want to do that to someone.”

He looks shocked by the new information but that is the end of our conversation as the boys come back not long after and everyone digs in as Ashton and I put the conversation out of our minds for the time being.

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Two days later and I am taking a break from the boys and back in my own room but it is physically impossible for me to sleep right now. I can’t stay still and that damn whisper is going insane. I sit on the edge of the bed with my head in my hands, trying to ignore the fact that with every passing minute that I ignore the whisper, the stronger the pins and needles in my fingers seem to get. I pull on some clothes and shoes, darting out of the room and rush to the end of the corridor as a thought comes to mind. I run down the corridor and dart down the stairs, not even having the patience to wait for the elevator to reach our floor.

I get to the ground floor, not far from the reception desk, and head out of the double doors at the side of the building, towards the outside patio area. I take a few deep breaths and shake off the weird feeling, like a faint tugging sensation, I get in the back of my mind. It reminds me of what Calum used to say about how it felt whenever Ashton was looking for him but he’s gotten used to it now so I don’t have to hear him complain about it anymore. Apparently, Ashton is looking for me right now. Now that I am outside, I feel a burst of energy come out nowhere and for some reason I don’t even think about the trouble it may cause as I indulge in the feeling and take off, smiling sharply as I jump the wall that borders the patio area, which is only there to create a sense of privacy to the guests who choose to use the area during the day. I sprint through the night air as I feel the tug again, Ashton obviously catching on that I’m not as close as I was before and trying to pinpoint me to chase me down.  I run for at least a quarter of an hour before I hear wolves giving chase not far behind. I take a detour before doubling back and heading down a different route but back towards where I came from. The energy I was using is starting to run down but I use a final burst to scramble up the wall and basically fall down the other side, back in the safety of the compound, and what a welcoming sight it is to see the hotel patio area after a run like that.

I collapse down on the floor by the wall, breathing deeply and vowing to myself that I am never doing that much exercise ever again in one go as I regret giving in to that stupid urge. I close my eyes for a few seconds, or what I thought was a few seconds, groaning when I feel a snout press against my shoulder. I tiredly, push myself up to lean against the wall as my eyes adjust quickly to the dark to show me Calum standing right in front of me, sitting on his haunches as he watches me haul myself upright.

I nod to show that I see him as I use the wall to get up but stagger when I reach my feet, so damn tired from running that much and whimper away to myself when I realise that we have a show today as well, even though it's early morning right now though so I guess I can catch up on at least some of the energy that I just ran off when I gave in to that stupid urge – never again, that’s all I can say right now. Calum shifts back, pulling on shorts that were stored in some place or other – I don’t even want to know and I am definitely not going to ask at this present moment.

“I hope that felt good while it lasted because I don’t know how long it will be before you’ll be able to do that again when Ashton gets his hands on you.” He sends me a small smile as he wraps one of my arms around his shoulder. “Ashton freaked out when he felt you move from your room, went mad when he realised what you were doing. That was one hell of a chase you know, and thank you for coming back, but please don’t ever do that again.”

“I don’t plan on it. It fucking hurts like a motherfucker, jumping that wall with hardly any energy left to keep me going.” I whimper, wondering why I even listened to that voice when this is the outcome it got me.

He laughs, taking most of my weight easily as he helps me walk since my legs feel like jelly right now, going past my room and walking me carefully into Ashton’s room which is suspiciously empty. He speaks again before I work up the energy to ask.

“They’re on the way back. They followed your scent the whole way while I turned back half way there to see if you may have turned back at some point and worked your way back to the hotel. Turned out I was right and found you knocked out basically where you landed.”

I hum in confirmation, kicking off my shoes and pulling off my shirt before crawling up the bed and curling up in the centre as Calum does the same and lies against my back as he tries to warm me up. Apparently, I hadn’t registered how cold it is outside and how cold I am until now as I shiver quite violently against him. I don’t even know how I didn’t realise that I am freezing cold but Calum is like a furnace so he comes in handy in situations like this.

I am dozing pretty heavily when the other two get back; my eyes are closed but I can still hear my surroundings. The three of them trade comments quietly before a warm body moves up in front of me, rumbling happily once I am wrapped up close to them. It still takes a few more minutes before the shivers even subside a bit. I decide to focus on my sense of smell quickly, I have a feeling I know where everyone is anyway but nothing is stopping me from testing that out. I am overpowered by the scent of Ashton and have to pull my face away to even get a trace of other scents, though the new scents just confirm that Calum is still behind me, just not as close now, and Michael is in his wolf form again lying by our feet with most of his weight rested against Calum’s shins and feet. I open my eyes when I hear movement, catching Ashton moving his hand to try and push my head back to where it had been. I use my free hand to catch his, pulling it down in front of my face as I hesitantly sniff at the appendage, nuzzling the palm before letting go and curling up against him again like nothing happened, though I wouldn’t be surprised if he could tell I was only hiding to keep the fact that I am blushing hidden from everyone. I feel his chest vibrate again as the sound of another rumble from his wolf softly breaks the quiet that has taken over. I smile against his chest but let myself drift off soon after, the run doing the trick to knock me out pretty quickly.

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“How long do you think he has? I mean, things are going faster than even you thought.” I hear Michael speak as I stir from my slumber. I quickly realise that I am the only one on the bed right now, I know they are bound to realise that I am awake soon but it feels like ages since I had a bed to myself properly so I just stretch out and bury my face against the pillow as I sigh contently.

“You don’t think I know that. To be honest we are only really able to prepare for during and after he has shifted. I know for a fact that we don’t have long before his shift starts and it could even be tonight for all we know; when this happens I don’t want you two here. Stay in one of your rooms together, just this once. As his alpha I have to stay with him, today I will work with him so that we can establish something but I need you two to promise to stay together in one of the other rooms. He won’t mean to but he might lash out during the shift and hurt one of you and I don’t want to risk it. So, please stay in one of the other rooms tonight, but stay together in case something happens.” I hear Ashton speak, the last part laden with alpha command and I can almost physically hear the other two nod instantly after his words. Somehow, his command didn’t affect me so it leaves me thinking that he can control who is affected by it and who isn’t. “I made a promise and I am going to stick to it but I need to know that you understand.”

“We get it Ash. You told his mum you would look after him and you feel responsible anyway. You care about him and I’m sure he will appreciate you being there when it gets tough for him to deal with on his own.” Calum speaks for the first time since I started listening.

I feel Ashton’s happiness as he settles for the first time and I feel like I can relax properly, obviously his restless energy affected me more than I thought. I get up soon after that, grabbing some clothes from Ashton's bag since I doubt that I will be allowed out of his sight much after that stunt last night.

I take a shower to freshen up and brush my teeth using one that the hotel supplied in an unopened pack on the side. I decide that I’m going to leave the scruff that is starting to make an appearance across my jaw, but only for the time being, not even bothering to do much with my hair either for now, I’ll make sure to style it before we go on stage tonight. I put my used towel in the hamper after clearing up quickly so that the boys don’t moan at me for making a mess – I’m getting better but I still get some water on the floor no matter how hard I try.

Once I am satisfied that I have freshened up to a decent standard, I leave the bathroom and smile happily when I see that the boys have ordered breakfast already. I sit with Calum as I eat, kind of sticking near him in hopes that it will put off the lecture I am bound to get and it kind of puts a barrier in between Ashton and me so I am slightly safer for the time being. Unfortunately for me, the boys seem to know exactly what I am doing even if they do let me get away with it for an hour or so before pouncing.

“Why did you run Luke? You know I told you that you had to let me know what was going on so I could help you.”

I freeze, no longer tapping on the screen where I had been playing a game on my phone, ultimately losing my game but that’s probably the least of my concerns right now. “I had to. It wasn’t a plan I had when I first went down there but when I got out there, I felt free. It felt good for a bit... until I ran out of energy and had to jump that fucking wall outside. That part sucked.” I reply, trying to sound and appear calm as I restart my game.

“You felt me searching for you though.” Ashton comments, not even a question this time, just an obvious statement.

I nod anyway even if he wasn’t looking for an answer. I lose my game again since I’m not paying that much attention anymore, putting the phone in my lap and keeping my eyes on it as I think. “I thought I would have more time, but I don’t, do I Ashton?” I mumble, feeling everyone freeze as it dawns on them that I know.

“No Luke, you don’t have long before you’re going to shift.” Ashton whispers, loud enough for me to hear even though he is facing the other direction and he said it quietly anyway.

I press the button on my phone to see the time before standing and moving towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Ashton is on alert quickly.

“To go and grab my bag to take with me to the venue. We have 15 minutes until the car gets here.” I murmur as I leave the room and move to mine again to do exactly what I said.

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Ashton and I talked quickly just before we came on stage but I kept the conversation away from my shift for now because I don’t want to have to think about just how fast the timer counting down to my shift is running out on me. But, three-quarters of the way through the main part of the show, I feel my muscles start to get stiff. I ignore it for as long as I can, taking deep breaths to get through it when it pulses and spreads somewhere else. By the time we reach the fourth song from the end, I can feel it in my shoulders. I move back from the mic, letting the crowd sing the rest of the part I was doing, tipping my head back and taking a deep breath as I roll my shoulders as best as I can while still keeping up guitar wise. Once we finish the song and Michael starts up a chat about something or other, I move back and grab a bottle of water. I take a few more breaths, jumping on the spot a few times, rolling my shoulders and shaking out my arms to try and combat the stiffness. I already know by now that this has to do with my shift but I’m not going to leave the show unless I have to. I see Calum out of the corner of my eye, moving closer, I take my in-ear out so that I can hear him when he goes to speak.

“Are you alright?” he asks directly into my ear so that I can hear him since the crowd is loud without them in.

I nod. “I am for now, but I’m getting stiff. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going without giving that fact away as well. I probably already look weird by jumping around so much.” I remark, as fiddle with the mic pack attached to the back of my jeans.

His eyes widen slightly before he nods. “Try and hold on until we finish this.  We’ll have to skip the encore because it might be too dangerous for you to hold off for that long.”

I nod in reply as I put the in-ear back in and get ready to finish this show to the best of my ability, hoping I can put it out of my mind for a little while and just get this show done before I can’t focus enough anymore.

Just as we finish the last song, I drop my head back to face the ceiling and bite my lip as I feel the pain and stiffness flare quite violently. I screw my eyes shut and breathe deeply again, it worked earlier but it seems to be losing its effect now. Shit. This is not the time. Ashton seems to sense that something is wrong though, telling the crowd that we won’t be doing the encore tonight because of some reason or another and the crowd seems to be understanding of our reasons, though I wouldn’t be surprised if they already knew considering they have the advantage of super senses so they may have picked up on my distress already.

The bow is painful but I hide it as much as I can until we reach backstage and away from all of the crew.  As soon as the door of our dressing room is shut behind the last one of us, I drop as I stop fighting it. Michael looks like he is going to panic but Calum just comes over and brings me back up to my feet, holding my weight as he helps me move.

“You really weren’t joking when you said you couldn’t pretend for much longer. “ Calum says as he grabs my bag, Michael taking my other side quickly when he realises that I can’t do this on my own and Calum is going to struggle if he has to carry my weight, and both mine and his bags.

Both boys keep me up as Ashton stays ahead of us, carrying mine and his bag while the boys have their own on their backs. We are soon in the car but I feel like all of this is slowly draining my energy, it leaves me wishing I could close my eyes and sleep through the rest of it, if only that was possible.

I groan as we rush from the car and into the hotel via the front door which surprisingly has no fans surrounding it which is usually a common phenomenon, Ashton rushing through an explanation to our tour manager in the lobby so that we can put off travelling anywhere until I am “stable”, which could literally mean anything right about now since I feel like I am losing touch with reality. We may be set to start a break but we had planned to head up to the next city and just spend our break there since its only a short break but it doesn’t look like that will happen as early as originally planned.

Calum and Michael work together to strip me of my shirt and change me into some shorts but after that, they just curl around me on the mattress as I squirm and whimper, the stiffness starting to turn into sharp pins and needles all around my body. Eventually, the other two relax as Ashton finally gets here. They have both been trying to take my pain away but they can’t do it as well as an Alpha, but I am thankful for their combined efforts since it took at least some of the edge off. Ashton kicks off his shoes and changes into just shorts as well. He climbs on the mattress by my feet, rubbing at the muscles, which actually works to some degree, repeating the same treatment to every muscle as he works his way up.

“Do you want us to help you out any longer or do you want us to leave now?” Calum asks once Ashton has reached my chest, trying to reduce the stiffness with one hand as the other hand is pressed to my side and taking some of the pain away.

“It's fine, you can go.” Ashton replies, which gets nods from them both.

They lean down and kiss my forehead, whispering short good lucks to me before leaving so that Ashton can do his thing, whatever that is, to help me.

“You're going to hate me so much when I say this, but Luke, you still have a little while until this will stop and your shift starts if this only started during the concert.” He mumbles, moving to lie on his side next to me and pulling me against his chest which marginally helps, I think it has something to do with the skin contact but I cannot say for certain, but doesn’t stop me groaning pitifully at the information he just gave me.

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An hour later and I am finally able to relax a little, as the pins and needles have been slowly subsiding and only staying and persisting in certain places. I can feel the whisper in my mind more, it’s obviously my wolf and it is actually a lot nicer when it realises just how painful it is going to be for me to go through this. It’s excited and impatient but it is at least trying to warn me a little. The last thing I heard was along the lines of the first part being over and now we’re one step closer to shifting.

“How much longer?” I whisper, not even 100% sure who I am asking anymore.

Ashton moves from where he had his head rested on my shoulder. “Soon Lukey. Your scent is changing as it gets closer to your actual shift. You’re doing pretty good. Michael was in tears by now so if anything, you can feel good about not crying yet.” He tries to cheer me up.

“Michael is stronger than me. I’m just too tired to even shed any tears right now.” I murmur.

“That’s what you think Lukey but I think you’re strong in your own way.” Ashton replies, nuzzling my neck and taking in my scent.

I feel my wolf actually pacing in my mind by the time I hear it speak again.

“I’m trying not to let you get hurt too much but there is only so long I can hold it off before you have to be ready to shift. Let Alpha know and hear what he thinks we should do."

“Ashton, I’m so tired but he can’t hold it off for much longer.”

I both hear and feel Ashton take a deep breath before he is pulling me up and off of the bed to the open space at the bottom, making me kneel  before doing the same opposite me so that we are facing each other and ultimately eye to eye. “Then it’s time we test out just how strong you are. I’m here and I will do my best, both now and once this is over, but remember that you have to put your trust in me to make this work.” he pauses as his eyes flash to red and stay that way. “Trust yourself, your wolf and me, your Alpha, and this should work out just fine in the end.”

In a rush of confidence, I lean towards him and kiss his cheek. “I trust you Alpha.” I whisper before moving back to my spot.

I take a deep breath, relaxing as much as I can, as I tune in carefully to only two sounds. Ashton and the wolf in my mind, that is currently ready and raring to come out and play as much as it is trying not to let this go too fast and hurt me.

“Is this going to be piece by piece or is this going to be one huge amount of pain?” I think to myself and listen when my wolf replies to my thoughts.

“I can only hold it back for a while, I do not control how quickly or slowly it does what it does.” There is a pause before I hear the words I have both dreaded and been waiting for since I started to properly listen. “Time to test your strength and trust, just like Alpha said. I’ll see you on the flip side Luke.”

With that, I feel everything fade and I lock eyes with Ashton who nods as if he knows what I was just told. I hear the sounds before I feel them but as each bone breaks and shifts to where it should be in my wolf form. I hold back as much sound as I can, dropping down onto my hands and knees when it starts on my back and that is when I really can’t take it and cry out in pain. Ashton cannot take my pain while this is happening, something he had already warned me about earlier, but he talks quietly so that I have to focus a lot of my attention on him to hear what he is saying and it means that I am not focusing on the pain as much as I would have been.

It takes what feels like forever for me and I am pretty sure that I blacked out near the end because as I come back around, back to reality and become aware of my surroundings again, my senses are so much better than my human ones and I can feel someone rubbing my limbs softly as it actually soothes the ache that was produced by my bones repositioning themselves to accommodate the shift. I can feel that I am in control of this form even if it had felt like a completely different person in my mind earlier.

“We’re the same person Luke; I’m just the added persona. I can control you as much as you can me but I promise to never make you run that much again. Now that we have shifted, we are joined and we are part of each other forever. Alpha wants your attention now; I’ll be around whenever you want me.”

“I would take you for a run but you’re still sore from shifting.” Ashton murmurs, his eyes having shifted back to his own eye colour which is kind of disappointing since I wanted to test out some stuff.

I huff, moving my legs away from his hands and pulling myself up on shaky legs. It’s a weird feeling to be on four legs when I’ve always had two but after a few minutes of practice, I finally get the hang of walking around. I get the hang of a few other things like jumping up and down off of things before I set my sights on Ashton who is still on the floor. I crouch across the room from him, playfully growling.

He smiles, taking off his shorts while I look away to give him some privacy and shifting effortlessly but still staying where he was, waiting it out to see what I am going to do next. I growl before pouncing at him, knocking him back a bit and getting in a few playful bats before he finally plays along. We mess around for a bit before I give in, licking at his muzzle in submission and grooming him a little just because I can get away with it now. He rumbles, moving to sniff at me when I roll onto my back, exposing my underside to him which is a show of both submission and trust. He sniffs around thoroughly which makes me kick at him when he gets too close to certain areas but he doesn’t reprimand me for it before I roll back over onto my front and start to groom my own paws lazily.

He growls softly, standing over my body and sniffing around the fur at the back of my neck, nipping my ear softly when I huff. He rumbles happily as he scents me, rubbing himself against me so that I smell thoroughly of him, before lying near me with his head rested across my back and eyes focused on the door, guarding us as I rest and recover from my shift.

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I jump when I feel him move to stand protectively over me as footsteps approach the door. Now that I am awake, I am full of energy but I just lick at what I can reach of Ashton which does nothing to calm him down but he does let me get away with it so I guess that counts for something.

The door opens and I see the boys come through; not even noticing what it is that Ashton is doing - actually getting fiercely protective as he growls loudly when they turn around, teeth on full display. They press themselves back against the door, eyes flashing gold as they expose their necks in submission. He stares them both out before huffing and beginning to scent me again. I give him a few minutes before I start to get bored, wanting to see the other two. I finally wriggle out, bouncing around him in circles for a second or so, before licking at his muzzle when he huffs which gets me a lick in return before I bound over to the boys.

“Hi Lukey.” Calum greets me, dropping to his knees so that we are closer in height since I am pretty small in this form compared to my height in human form.

All I can tell from what I have seen and already know from the people around me is that I am quite small for a wolf even though my human form is the tallest out of all four of us. I don’t mind that I am small because now it gives me an excuse to make Ashton protect me more, and I can curl up closer to him and use the excuse that it is because I am smaller and I need the extra warmth since he is always boiling hot for some reason that me and the boys have put down to him being an Alpha. Sorry, my mind is going crazy right now.

Michael goes to pet me but I start licking his hand instead, panting happily when I am satisfied that I am acquainted with them properly. I look over my shoulder when I hear movement where Ashton was and whimper when I see him in human form again.

He chuckles. “We’ve got you to one form but now you have to shift back. You already know what to do.” When I look unsure he continues. “I know you’re worried about the other stuff but we have a little time before that should hit so we need to get you food and exercise in human form again before you get to spend yet more time with me, and maybe the boys, as we get through all of that as well.”

I lick the other two as a goodbye from this form, nudging Ashton gently instead of giving him a lick, before dragging my shorts, which I had taken off quickly during my shift, with me to the bathroom where I finally change back after a couple failed attempts. I stretch, wincing when I hear my bones click where air bubbles have formed, as I walk back to the boys. Ashton wraps an arm around me when I drop down next to him, nuzzling my cheek which makes me send him a content smile as I let out a relaxed sigh, loving the attention I am getting from him. Calum and Michael are close by and I know I should want them close too, wanting to scent them and generally be close to my pack. However, I don’t feel that urge, only really wanting to be close to my alpha.

“Alpha is right about you having a little while before that other stuff hits but what he didn’t mention is that you will feel residual parts of it until it fully hits. Be careful Luke, I don’t want to have to fight a member of the pack.” My wolf answers my silent queries, making me tilt my head as I take in what he said. I don’t want to fight a member of the pack either so I hope the mood swings part stays under control for a while.

I eat the food I am given and follow them when they decide that they want to spend some time by the pool. I sit in a chair by the poolside while the other three go for a dip which only became an option when Calum pushed Michael in the pool for nicking some of his food. I look around the perimeter of the courtyard area, seeing the wall I jumped the other night not far from where we are right now.

I huff, feeling my eyes flash, when one of them splashes water that lands close to me, my wolf not liking the prospect of getting covered in water either. I crack my knuckles, getting bored of doing nothing and wanting to be doing something. I turn my eyes to the boys and observe what they are doing and testing how much attention they are paying to me, which varies between each of them but mostly it’s only glances to see if I am still there.

“What are the chances you can provide the power to get me out of here?” I think to myself, knowing that my wolf can hear me.

“I can get us out of here but I cannot hide us from our alpha, he will know as soon as we move even if he doesn’t know out intentions, he will undoubtedly follow and that means the rest won’t be far behind.” Is the reply I get from him. It’s not the greatest news but I already knew I wouldn’t be able to stay off of Ashton radar considering I can feel him seeking out my location even though I am barely feet from him, but it’s only so he doesn’t have to turn around and risk getting dunked by one of the other two who are trying to find chances to catch him out and shove him fully under the water.

I take a deep breath, smelling content and relaxed scents from the boys, before making my decision that I have to do something because I am getting antsy. I use my hearing and mental map to find a location that would be too busy for the boys to follow me too closely through.

“I’m getting a drink.” I mumble, getting up and heading towards the bar area, checking that the boys aren’t paying attention before slipping through to the main area.

I break into a jog as I get further away before vaulting over a low wall not far from the last one that once again leads to an open area and forest running along the outskirts. My wolf warned me that we cannot shift right now; although Ashton didn’t say it as a command, the underlying tone was there that prevents me from doing what I have been asked not to, which in this case was to shift. I make a quick decision when I feel the distinct tug that means Ashton is trying to pinpoint my location, darting into the forest and letting my wolf direct us; even if I cannot shift, I can still give control over to him when I want to, the only thing that is different is that he is controlling my human form instead of the wolf form which is when a wolf is usually most in control. I pick up on the sound of a wolf running along the tree line not far from where I am which prompts me to ask us to move away. Once we reach a clearing, I take the control and climb up a tree opposite to where I entered, perching on a high branch with a surprising amount of balance, and wait for them to appear. They aren’t far from me, their footfalls not very far from the edge of the clearing, but their wolves are probably reluctant given that they can smell me but cannot see me in the clearing itself. When I see movement, I slink back against the tree trunk so that I am covered by shadows.

The three move slowly into the centre of the clearing, shifting back to their human forms and pulling on shorts, before looking around thoroughly. This is sort of like a game to me, to see how long it will take for them to find me or give up and beg me to come out. I remember how much my mum hated when us boys did this to her; my brothers would always take it in turns to move around, one of them carrying me so that I wouldn’t hold them up but I could still play along. It became a well-known game for the boys once they had their shifts and the fact that I seem to be playing it – even if I only just realised it – means that I seem to have a similar after effects to my brothers.

It’s still too early for full effects but I was bored so I guess I subconsciously chose to play a game I’ve always known. It’s a fun game from my side of the game but it can be pretty annoying when you’re the seeker.

“Ashton, he has to be here right? I mean, we can smell him so he has to be close by, even if we cannot see him.” Calum looks to Ashton, seeming to be a whole lot more on edge than he really needs to be – there again, he has always hated when things are wrong within the pack.

“He’s here.” Ashton mutters, his eyes searching the perimeter closely though I can see that he is using his sense of smell more.

“Didn’t Luke tell us about a game his brothers would play when they were younger, hiding in quite obvious places and waiting it out to see how long it took their mum to find them?” Michael suddenly speaks up, his words making me regret every telling them now since it might be enough to give it away.

Ashton freezes, closing his eyes and I start to feel the tug as he uses his other senses to judge how far away I am. I smirk when I watch as he turns to face the gap between the tree I’m on and the tree next to it.  However, I gulp when he turns to face the branches level to where I am.

“If that’s so then I might beat every record his mum ever set because I know exactly where you are Lukey.” He calls out to make sure I can hear him, his eyes literally right on me by now and not moving any further which adds to his statement that he knows where I am. “Are you going to come down or am I making you?”

Calum and Michael follow his line of sight but shrug to each other when they see nothing. I huff, dropping my feet down but keeping hold of the branch with my hands as I let my body follow. I drop once I stop swinging around too much, landing pretty gracefully for someone like me who usually trips over fresh air and their own feet at least on a daily basis.

“You didn’t beat her record, just so you know.” I smirk as I approach the boys, standing nearer to Calum than anyone once I reach them. “She was always good at that game though so I’m not surprised.”

He rolls his eyes, only rumbling slightly when he goes to move closer and I step back. “I’m sure she would love to know her son is running away from the person who made a promise to get him through this. Now get your lanky ass over here, so that we can walk back to the hotel and I won’t lose you.”

I smirk, tilting my head in a challenge before darting off without them, back towards the hotel, even going as far as running around the front of the building and through the front doors to avoid being caught again. I take the stairs three at a time and rush along the corridor and shove the key to my room in, barging into my room and shouldering the door shut quickly once I am in.

I know that the command has worn off by now so I strip off the light clothes I had on and shift, breathing deeply through the pain once I am in my wolf form. I drag my clothes to the bathroom and leave them on the floor by the shower to put back on later before bounding out and bouncing onto the bed. I tread down the comforter a bit, spinning round a few times before dropping down and curling up in the nest I made out of duvet and sheets. I rest for a bit, calming my breathing and just preserving my energy, feeling so much better now that I have been out for a run about and game. I open one eye lazily when the door opens, turning one ear to listen to them but otherwise, stay curled up in my little nest of covers.

“Well then...” Michael starts, unsure how to continue as he stands watching me from the end of the bed.

Calum goes to kneel on the bed but jumps back when I growl at him, both eyes watching him now and ears flattened to show aggression. I don’t want him to ruin my nest so he cannot come on this bed, I can’t let him near it if I want it to stay like this. Ashton puts his hand out to tell them not to try that one again so I guess he knows what is going on even if I only know what is going through my head right now.

 He makes sure that he is in my eye line before stripping down and shifting, standing tall with his eyes – red vibrant against the backdrop of his dark tawny fur – focused solely on me. I rumble but settle back into my curled up position, ignoring his posturing. He snorts, taking it as me backing down before jumping up onto the end of the bed.

“Ashton, I hope you know what you’re doing because I am in no moods to race to your defence.” Michael mumbles as he and Calum drop down sofa that honestly is pretty useless for general use because there is nothing else around it.

Ashton huffs at Michael’s comments, edging closer before he seems to get an idea as his tail starts to wag gently. He moves closer, quicker than he had been, pouncing down on me and letting us tussle for a few seconds before ending it quickly and  standing over me as I lie on my side. I start to whimper when I see what our antics did to the nest I made but they quiet down slowly as Ashton starts to lick and nuzzle at me.

I roll my head and watch him for a second, not exactly sure what he is aiming to do. He licks and grooms the parts he can reach from the angle he is currently at, he even grooms my face which is quite a weird experience and leaves me wondering what I should do in this situation because based on the sounds – or lack of – this means something. I feel the vibration against my ribs as he rumbles, rubbing his cheek against my shoulder. I kick out until I am given room to manoeuvre, crawling out of the gap between his paws and jumping to the floor, shaking out my fur and stretching out my muscles. When I look back to the bed, I see him wagging his tail slowly as he watches me from where he has sat down by my original nest that is unrecognisable now that we have done all of that. I tilt my head in confusion before hopping back up on the bed to try and rearrange my nest. I give up after trying to tug the blanket from under Ashton’s front paws three times and just jump down and pad over to Calum and Michael who are curled up now. I lick Michael’s cheek, getting his attention and a smile in return as he nudges Calum. I put my front legs on the cushion and lick at both of them until they are giggling before looking over my shoulder when Ashton makes a sound to get my attention.

“He likes having our attention on him; it’s why he won’t move off of the blanket.”

I rumble at him but spin and bound back onto the bed, bouncing it as I land but I just give Ash a wolfish grin when he sends me a look. He moves over and gently takes a hold of my scruff in his mouth before guiding me back to where he wants me. I get the breath knocked out of me when he covers my whole body with his, his chest pressed to my back as I lay low to try to avoid being squashed.

“Give me control for a second. I can’t help you out so that you’re not getting squashed. I understand what his wolf is doing; you don’t, so I can get us out of this if you need me to do so.”

With that, I take a step back and let him take control. My wolf nips at Ashton's front paw and flips when Ashton pulls himself away to reposition his paw away from my jaws. He whines, taking a step back and away from me when my wolf kicks and scratches at his underside. Once he is away, I get control again as me and my wolf switch places again.

I jump off of the bed and dart to the bathroom quickly when I feel like a switch gets turned in my mind and it starts to cloud around the edges of my thoughts. I shift back as quickly as I can and haul on my shorts as quickly before making my way back to the bed. I drop down on the edge, putting my head in my hands as I try to think and focus.

“Luke, you realise we can smell your distress and Ashton is trying not to crush you right now.” Michael speaks, making me jump even though I knew he was there.

I nod, sending a thumbs up in his general direction as I get up and scavenge a thin t-shirt out of my suitcase. I turn to where Ashton is, actually rearranging the covers and wagging his tail in a hopeful gesture once he is done. I send him a smile before going back to the nest he has rearranged and dropping down onto it, curling up as small as I can and closing my eyes in a half-hearted attempt to pretend that none of what I suspect is happening.

I jump when a completely human hand lands on my ribs but relax into the mattress when it rubs slow circles against my side. I open my eyes and see Ashton looking down at me, his eyes showing his concern at how quickly my mood has flipped but understanding shines through as well. I scrabble around for a lose blanket before pulling it over Ashton’s lap which gets a chuckle from him which turns into quiet nuzzling against my neck when I pull him closer to me which results in him basically resting leaned slightly over me as I use the hand from earlier to push  more of the blanket over his lap.

“What happened?” Calum asks, yawning softly as both he and Michael move to lie at the end of the bed in spaces where neither of us has put our feet.

I bite my lip, hiding my face in Ashton's neck as I feel my eyes sting, suddenly wanting to cry because I don’t completely know what happened. He takes his boxers from Cal, pulling them on without dislodging me, before moving up and wrapping his arms around me, one hand holding the back of my head as he does what he can to try and provide some sort of comfort.

“Things caught up with him and it's set in just how big all of this really is.” Ashton replies and even I can hear that he isn’t as sure about that as he wants to sound.

I sniffle quietly into his neck and soon I seem to cry myself to sleep, exhausted from the day and having exhausted myself with my stupid emotions too – it makes me seem like a girl and I don’t like it.

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I am woken by the restless feeling under my skin, my wolf not wanting to be stuck in this form for long since it prefers using its own defences and my senses are more sensitive to what it going on around me when I am in my wolf form so I am able to rest while he is in control. I groan and grumble quietly to myself as I strip off the shorts and roll my shoulders to release tension that is starting to build up when my wolf starts to get impatient.

“I hate you so much. Just thought you should know since you won’t let me sleep.” I whisper to myself knowing that my wolf will hear it even if I hadn’t said it out loud.

I shift, shaking out my fur and stretching my limbs out once I am sure it’s over. I pad over to the window, sitting on my haunches and observing the view before turning my ears towards the bed when I hear movement. Using my nose to identify them, I rumble happily as Calum brushes his fur against my side, Michael not far behind as he comes along my other side.

I grin wolfishly when I work out that they are herding me back to the bed, but I no longer want to rest. I jump up onto the bed and watch as they settle again. I lower my head, sniffing at Ashton's hand that is closest to me, huffing when he moves in his sleep and moves his hand away. I crouch, slinking closer and licking hesitantly as any exposed skin near me.

He grumbles, shifting minutely to avoid my tongue but not really pushing me away as I let my wolf have a more control over my actions since he is a lot braver than me with any of his advances, I want to do stuff but I don’t want the boys to think I am weird or something for wanting it.

My wolf crawls closer and starts to snuffle at the bottom of the shirt Ashton has pulled on at some point. I know the other two are bound to be watching my actions carefully in case they need to step in, which is why my wolf is being careful as it advances. He works up the edge of the shirt until more skin is revealed that he soon starts to lick at wetly. My wolf spends a moment just taking in the taste of Ashton’s skin before pressing his nose to Ashton’s hip bone, taking in his scent, and moving it across the expanse of skin in front of him as he takes in the scent and memorises it. Ashton groans, which would have made me jump if I had been in control but my wolf just huffs in response, moving back to the hipbone closest to him and licking at the area.

Just as he goes to nip at the skin, in some weird desire to leave a mark instead of just his scent, one of the other two barrels into his side and sends us both backwards onto the floor a little way from the bed. My wolf whines in embarrassment before retreating back into my mind as I am given control so he can go and sulk. We landed awkwardly but it seems that Michael didn’t as he stands, feet planted firmly, in between me and Ashton, who jumped when Michael took us down. Calum has also put himself in the way but in a less threatening way than Michael.

I roll back onto my front, pushing myself up on my paws but buckle when I put one of my front feet to the ground. I grumble pitifully, knowing it will heal soon but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to be hurt right now. I hop forward towards Michael but freeze instantly when he growls lowly at me.

Ashton scents the air before swinging his feet off of the bed and putting them to the floor. He pulls off his clothes and shifts easily, eyes staying on me, before slowly padding closer. He sends Michael a warning look when he tries to keep himself between us. Calum has shifted back, now using a blanket to cover himself as he watches what is happening.

I move back down so that I am lying on my front again as Ashton moves around me, seeming to be looking for something. His wolf is bigger than me anyway so it is easy for him to stand over me, nuzzling at the scruff on my back of my neck, grooming me a little but otherwise just taking in my scent.  I whine when he nips at my ear, probably having smelt my guilt. He huffs, sending Michael a look which makes him shift back and join Calum.

I lick at my paw, flexing it hesitantly to test if it is healed enough to stand on but whimper when it still aches a little.

“Shut up, it’s your own fault.” Michael grumbles, making me whimper in guilt and bury my muzzle in between my paws.

“Michael. He gets it, he wasn’t meant to do that. You can stop being an ass now.” Calum replies, eyes giving me a once over and observing how small I have made myself.

I feel Ashton chest rumble, where he has pressed himself close to my back, before he moves, shifting as he goes, and kneels near me, observing his hip where my wolf had been trying to make his mark before turning his head to Michael.

“Michael, there is no harm done. Thank you for defending me but I knew he was there.” His eyes stray back to me again before they move back to Michael. “His wolf was restless so he shifted and let his wolf take control. It is natural for a wolf to want to have a connection to its Alpha. It wasn’t the right way to go about it, but he gets that now.”

I move to my feet, huffing semi-happily when I feel that my paw is better now, I still stay low to the ground as I crawl closer to him and rumble happily when he starts rubbing his hand through the fur on my side when I flop onto my side next to him. My wolf slips forward again to receive affection from its Alpha before slipping control back to me again, but not before wriggling forward so that Ashton’s hand brushes lower than before which gets a low whine from me in reaction.

I turn back onto my feet and grab my underwear and shorts from where I dropped them before making a move to scurry to the bathroom to shift back, once I am back in my human form, I lean back against the door quickly so it slams shut. My wolf knew exactly what that action was going to cause, it is evil and I am already embarrassed by my actions, I didn’t need to add this to the list.  I glare down at my lap, why must my own body betray me?

I think of the worst things possible and it works to some extent, enough to not be completely obvious when I pull on my clothes at least, but it is still somewhat there so all I can do is ignore it. I am determined to have better control over at least that part than my brothers; I don’t want to have to do what they did because it’s just plain embarrassing that I don’t have control over it, at least as much as I am used to.

I splash cold water on my face, taking a few deep breaths and ignoring my wolf which seems to be preening in satisfaction. I open the door and slink through, hoping not to draw too much attention to myself but I can feel at least one of them watching me as soon as I am back in the room. I curl myself into a ball in the corner of the sofa, not trusting my own body not to try and recreate my earlier reaction if one of the boys so much as touches me right now.

“I’m not angry with you Lukey, you can come lie down again.” Ashton murmurs as he crouches just in front of my curled up form.

I shake my head, burying my face in my hands as I feel a blush heat up my cheeks and travel to my neck. “I can’t Ash.”

He cocks his head slightly in confusion before his eyes travel over my curled up form, widening when he seems to catch on. “As weird as it sounds, I don’t mind. I promise that none of us will say anything about it if you want to just ignore it.”

I shift uneasily, shaking my head quickly. “I just need a bit of space. Go back to sleep, I promised to call Jack anyway.” I mumble out quickly as I slink around him quickly, grabbing a shirt and my phone before getting out of the room before anyone can see more than I would prefer right now. I pull on the shirt, moving to the bottom of the corridor and getting into the elevator. I get out in the lobby and head to the outside area again since I feel calmer here.

I get my phone out and dial the number without checking the time.

“Mini Hemmings, how are you doing little bro?” Jack greets immediately as I hear people in the background so he is definitely in a social area like the living room or the kitchen.

“I’m getting used to all of this slowly I guess.” I mumble, wincing when my voice cracks slightly.

“So, how’s the shift treating you?” he asks as I hear mum getting him to ask.

“My wolf isn’t so bad but I don’t appreciate the embarrassment it is causing me.” I reply shortly, hearing him snort in amusement on the other side.

“Do I even want to know what that is referring to?” He laughs, before calming himself and speaking again. “Look, Ben and I, we get it. We know that us Hemmings boys just don’t have the best luck when it comes to shifting but honestly, I think you’re doing the best out of all of us. I was going stir crazy not even three hours after I first shifted. You lasted 24 hours before yours even started to take effect, that’s pretty good.”

I go to say something in response but he continues.

“Ashton promised to look out for you and we trust him to follow through with that. You seem to be alright so he is obviously doing something right. Just stick it out for a little longer; your control is amazing so far so I don’t think you’ll have too much trouble. Plus, Ashton will help you out with anything else so I say that you’re going to be just fine.”

I grumble to myself, blushing at the memory of earlier. “Jack...” I trail off but continue when he hums. “My wolf keeps making advances towards Ashton and I don’t know how to stop it.”

He pauses, choking on a shocked gasp as I hear movement in the background halt instantly. “Are you sure?”

“Jack, I am telling you that it is. In less than an hour, the short amount of control I gave it has ended with me nearly getting into it with Michael, nearly creating a mark on Ashton’s hip while he was sleeping and it even managed to embarrass me when Ashton was just petting me.” he makes a curious noise so I explain the last one better. “Wriggling forwards so that his hand rubs against me... I shifted back and got it to go away for the most part but my body isn’t playing game with me and I can’t lay near him in fear that I react to him again.”

I bite my lip nervously when I hear him mutter a few curse words. “Luke, you have to stay with him. He and his wolf will know what to do, you have to tell him what you suspect is happening so that he can help you deal with it somehow.”

“I can’t just say that Jack.” I whisper, looking up at the sky and blinking back tears. “I can’t do it Jack. If I lose control at the wrong time or can’t get control back once I’ve given it over then I could change both of our lives and not necessarily for the best. I have to stay away from them or I might hurt them.”

He seems panicked when he talks, somebody else saying similar stuff not far from the phone. “Don’t you dare Luke. Stay with them or so help me; I will fly out there myself to beat the crap out of you. Stay with Ashton and try to work around it for now, but don’t you dare run or I will kick your ass.”

I sniffle, wiping my eyes as I listen to the balcony of the room where the boys are and hearing no movement, mumbling one last thing into the phone before hanging up. “I wish I could.”

I head back up to our floor and get into Ashton’s room, grabbing my bag from where it was left from yesterday before heading back downstairs to the lobby and phoning our tour manager. I speak as soon as he picks up, not giving him a chance to speak.

“I need a car to take me up to the next city as soon as possible. Just me on my own.”

He sighs into the phone, thinking it over. He obviously knows about my shift and is probably so confused but he has never said no to me yet and I doubt he will now. “Fine, I’ll send one your way but I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“So do I.” I whisper once he has hung up and I wait in the lobby, ignoring the texts coming in from my family who were obviously in the background of my call to Jack.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I nap a little during the drive but get woken up a couple times by my phone or my wolf; both get ignored as I try to get as much rest as I can. The driver gives concerned looks since he is part of our team and our whole crew was updated on what has been going on but doesn’t ask me to talk which makes me a little bit better.

smASH! – Luke, whatever it is you think you’re doing, you need to stop because this is going to make it worse.

smASH – Lukey, please.

I stare at the two texts he sent me during the ride as I sit in the hotel room in the new city. He has tried to call me multiple times but has only texted twice which is weird but I’m not going to suddenly call him back to ask what’s up with that because it kind of defeats the purpose of leaving so quickly and not telling them. Just when I go to put the phone on the side, it starts to ring as my mum tries to get in contact with me.

I debate what I should do before answering the phone, putting it on speaker as soon as I have a chance and lying back against the sofa cushion after placing the phone on the table in front of me.

“I hope you’re feeling proud of yourself right now Luke because you don’t know what you just got yourself into.” are her first words to me.

“I can’t pretend that being around him doesn’t affect me. I love the boys but I make things awkward enough without all of this. I just need time to get control over this and I’ll see the lads when they get here, which probably won’t be for a day or two since our tour manager is stalling them, but I wouldn’t have much faith in that estimate knowing the boys.” I reply simply, not holding back anything since she’s my mother and knows more about me than most mothers ever should know about their children.

“Luke, your wolf needs Ashton to be there. You need Ashton to be there. He is one of your best mates and you told us that you would trust him to help you but now that it has come to it, you’re running away from him. I understand that you feel awkward when stuff like that happens around the boys but, let’s face it, they probably don’t like it when it happens to them and are glad that you have the decency to not say anything.” She pauses before continuing. “Ashton phoned, he already told me that before you left they had all promised not to say anything about it so you could lay with them but you ran off and now you’re off the radar to them.”

I lean forwards, looking down awkwardly. “I can’t handle it if he rejects me. My wolf may be the one making the advances but it’s because I’m too shy to do it.”

“Luke, you’re a new wolf, how do you know that his wolf isn’t responding to your advances, maybe he is holding it back until you can control it better. I know that boy has a soft spot for you, maybe his wolf is responding to you but you haven’t realised?” I think over her words as she waits in silence for me to answer. I know that Ashton likes to look out for me since I’m the youngest but that’s all I’ve ever known it as. Ashton and his wolf have always had a habit of staying close to me but I have always put it down as him being overly protective, looking back on it now, even only from the last few days, he has been closer to me and has responded in some form to most of the touches I’ve initiated.

“I don’t know...I don’t know what I was meant to be looking for, I just felt stupid for wanting to do that kind of stuff when he has always treated me like a little brother as far as I knew in my head. What was I meant to be looking for? “I finally get out once I realise that it has been silent for too long.

“Honestly, I cannot believe I am having this conversation with you. I thought your brothers and father would have taken more of a responsibility and told you about this kind of stuff.” She sighs, giggling slightly under her breath. “Okay, so I can’t say much because each wolf is different but as an Alpha, stuff like increased scenting, touching more than necessary and I guess rubbing against you in their wolf form.”

I hesitate before nervously mumbling a question that I have been pondering ever since she raised the idea that he may have been responding. “What about licking?”

She hums. “Depends; both on circumstances and location of the body. If it’s a situation where he feels like somebody else is trying to put their scent on you then he may lick you as well as scenting but it would be more like your hands or even cheek. Licking places such as your neck is intimate so it’s only really shared between wolves that are very close, such as mates – even mothers do not lick their child’s neck because of how intimate that act is seen to be.”

My breath hitches when I realise that he had been responding and even initiating some that I unknowingly responded to. “Mum, I’m going to need to call you back at another time. I have a phone call to make.”

She bids me a quick goodbye before disconnecting the call. I quickly dial our tour managers and I can straight away hear that he is on the move and that I am on speaker.

“How far out are you?” I ask instead of saying what I was going to.

“Half an hour at maximum.” He replies shortly as I hear movement from somewhere else around the phone. “I tried to stall them for longer but Ashton was having none of it so we had to get moving before he decided to run the whole way.”

“That’s not true. I wasn’t going to run.” Someone shoots back in reply and I smile as I recognise the voice as Ashton.

“Whatever you say.” Our tour manager replies before he speaks directly to me again. “Luke, I don’t know how you are still so calm considering how far away from your pack you are but I hope it was worth it because I don’t doubt that Ashton will make it his business to keep you where he can see you at all times pretty soon. This is the third time that I have heard about where you’ve run off without a word to anyone.”

“I told you so that was a lie. I needed time, I am not a hundred percent sure I have it figured out but I have been talking to my mum and she told me a thing or two that I should have known before today.” I reply, cleaning up roughly and moving to lie on the bed.

“Luke, just so you know, Jack wasn’t lying when he said he would fly out to kick your ass, he nearly did get a ticket until your mum took his devices away to stop him and turned off the wifi.” Michael says from somewhere which gets an amused snort from me.

“Doesn’t surprise me Mikey.” I mumble, leaning my head again my arm as I just listen to them. “Look guys, you’ll be here soon and I have some stuff to do so I have to go.”

They sigh but let me end the call after letting me know that they will be arriving in just over 20 minutes. I strip, folding my clothes neatly on the end of my bed before shifting into my wolf form.

“I’ll shift again tomorrow so that you can have a run but for today I need you to tell me what to do. You understand his actions better than me so please help me.” I think to myself so that my wolf can hear me.

He isn’t happy about not getting control this time but he is all for helping me so I hope this goes well with as little embarrassment as possible. I hear a car pull up and can almost instantly hear the other three talking over each other in excitement now that they know I’m here. I sit back on my haunches by the end of the bed and watch the door, waiting for them to burst through.

It doesn’t take long before the door is thrown open and hits the wall behind it. I shuffle on the spot as I wait for one of them to move, Calum and Michael look like they want to run towards me but are holding back for something to happen. Ashton looks torn before breaking out into a smile and rushing forward when I stand and take a step forward.

“Don’t scare me like that Lukey. I thought you weren’t going to come back to us, back to me.” He whispers against the fur on my neck.

My wolf is saying different things I could do and I make a split decision to actually follow through with at least one of them. I pull myself away from his embrace before licking his cheeks in greeting, which gets a happy laugh out of him. The other two also give me happy greetings while our tour manager sends me a wink before shutting the door and leaving us be.

For a while, we just make our own pack pile as we reacquaint ourselves and our wolves even though it was only a short time apart. Soon the other two get sleepy and head off to their own room while Ashton decides to stay here with me since he isn’t tired yet.

He is resting on his side in the middle of the mattress, having shifted earlier on because I wanted him to join in on our wrestling match the rest of us were having, as I sit at the foot of the bed and just observe. I remember the things my mum said earlier and it seems to make so much sense now I know what I am meant to be looking for. I creep forward, nuzzling against a different piece of fur each time. He rumbles happily before turning his head and licking at my muzzle once I am close enough. I lie on my front next to him as I let him groom me for a bit, knowing that this means a lot to be allowed to do this to another wolf voluntarily and his tail wags happily in response to me letting him do so. He shifts around on the bed, sniffing at different parts of me, even managing to roll me over somehow and I yelp in surprise when he licks at my stomach and nuzzles at the area.

He sniffs at me, nuzzling me softly each time to leave some of his scent behind, but I grumble uncertainly when he tries to nudge my tail aside softly with his nose.

“It's ok; he knows he cannot mate you, especially not right now. His wolf wants to get acquainted with all of us and that includes the sensitive parts. To a wolf pairing, trust is knowing all of your partner's scent and body in both forms, he is just starting to learn about us and his wolf is getting excited at the prospect of what this could turn into.” My wolf speaks up, making me jump slightly.

“But we’re not even together. I may like him but he has never shown that much interest in me before I shifted.” I think to myself for my wolf to hear, as I squirm and move away from any advances from Ashton, or his wolf depending on who is on control.

“His wolf is interested and so is he but he made no advances until we shifted because us wolves can be a bit too rough for humans to deal with, he didn’t want to hurt us so he made no move to initiate anything.”My wolf replies.

“What do I do? I’m not 100% sure about all of this right now considering I am used to being human and am learning how to be a wolf still.” I reply in my mind.

“Shift back to your human form and he will back off completely, most probably shifting back to talk it through.” The wolf replies to me once again. He must catch on to my next line of thought because he speaks up again before I can say anything. “The after effects of your shift are still mild for another few hours, but by morning they should be taking effect. However, I cannot take these away from you since I will be affected to so we suffer together this time. I’m sorry Luke.”

I crawl away from the other wolf on the bed, Ashton whining since he doesn’t seem to get why I am moving away since I was all for it not five minutes ago. I shift back, pulling my boxers and shorts back on but leaving my top half bare, before just sitting on the edge of the bed and taking a few deep breaths. I feel warmth on my back before human arms wrap around my waist as a face nuzzles into the side of my neck. I lean back slightly to rest back against his kneeling form.

“My wolf didn’t mean to make you on edge. He saw his chance and took over when I let my guard down. He was hoping you were ready I guess but I know now that you don’t fully know what any wolf behaviour like that is meant to mean.” Ashton whispers against the skin of my neck, his breath making me shiver and tip my head to the side to expose more of my neck to him as second nature.

He kisses gently at the exposed skin but that is all, which makes me relax even though I hadn’t known that I had tensed up. I sit up when he starts to move away.

“My wolf told me that the effects I am feeling are only mild right now and that by morning; they should be starting to take full effect... I just thought you should know so you can work out what to do with me for the time being.” I murmur before moving back on the bed and lying back on it properly, resting my head on the pillows.

He hums, nodding to show that he heard before speaking up. “I’m not going anywhere anyway so you don’t have anything to worry about.”

I huff in half-hearted laughter before rolling onto my side and settling down. He does a few other things before his weight moves onto the mattress and he lies down next to me. I fidget and move until he settles where he wants to go before resting my head on his chest with one arm thrown over his stomach and touching his hip and our legs somewhat intertwined. I smile tiredly when he pulls the duvet over us, even now he can’t help but want to look after me even though I am a werewolf furnace like him now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hear the other three in the room as soon as I wake up but that isn’t what made me wake up in the first place. The reason I woke up is because all the muscles in my body seem to flare and pulse with every movement, aching like never before and even worse than when I was shifting. I grind my teeth against the pain as I pull the pillow from under my head and bite down on it, quite hard to muffle the groan of pain that is working its way up my throat and threatening to escape at any moment.

When the throbbing in my muscles calms down slightly, I unhinge my jaw to let the poor pillow, that I no doubt just ruined, go. I roll onto my back slowly and sit up as gingerly as I can so that the pain is as minimal as possible.

“I wish being a wolf came with a warning label.” I finally get out; my voice a lot deeper than I am used to but the fact that I can feel the fangs and claws seems to make me a little more nonchalant about it. I have half shifted at some point and it affects a lot of our body including our voices so there is no point complaining about it.

“Don’t we all Lucas.” Michael replies, drumming his fingers on the table and smirking when I growl at him since it is actually hurting my head since I have the worst headache ever.”Am I annoying you Lucifer? Well, now you know how I felt when you used Ashton's drumsticks to hit everything in sight just after my shift.”

“When I get my hands on you, I will fucking kill you as slowly as possible and take pleasure from every moment of it, just so you know.” I grumble, slowly moving off of the bed and walking stiffly towards the bathroom, hoping that a shower will help to calm this down a little.

Michael cackles but still moves from his seat, which was originally in reach of me when I walked past, and takes a seat next to Calum on the opposite side of the little table in the room. Ashton puts a new shirt, shorts and a new pair of boxers on the side while I am in the shower, taking my old ones out with him when he leaves which is actually really nice of him considering I hadn’t actually asked him to do that.

After shoving on the clothes, the shower helped but it doesn’t mean that my muscles are any more cooperative with my demands than they were before but they do ache less so that’s a plus, I shuffle back into the bedroom. I whimper softly when Calum wraps his arm around my shoulders as soon as I am in reach, wriggling out of the grip and instead crawling into Ashton’s lap and pressing my face to his neck.

He rumbles, rubbing my lower back sympathetically before offering me the cup of coffee on the table in front of him. I down the drink before nuzzling at his shoulder again, Michael rumble in warning at first but shuts up when Ashton growls at him. I feel Ashton scent me, even leaving some of his own scent on me which actually, weirdly, helped a little. I hesitantly nip at his jaw line, making sure to stay away from his neck since I know that the neck is a no-go unless given permission, and sigh contently when he runs his fingers through the back of my hair.

“This is going to be the longest two weeks I have ever had to live through.” Calum comments, which gets a hum of agreement from Michael, who is still watching even though he is unable to step in because Ashton has already told him off.

“Maybe so but you’ve been in his position and you know that pack helps, plus you know how embarrassing it can be.” Ashton replies, without missing a beat and still focusing on my actions.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I groan when I wake up, realising that I’ve been rutting against Ashton’s hip in my sleep but thankful that he is currently still asleep. It’s been a week and a half but it has thankfully calmed down over the past few days. Last week was hell because I kept shifting without realising and lashing out unnecessarily at the other two. Ashton has only really reprimanded me once, he also has dealt with stuff like this without making a big thing out of it and it has actually made me feel more comfortable and I have more of an understanding of my boundaries – what I can do and what is probably not advised.

I think about getting up but decide that moving will just cause me to wake someone else up as I try to get out so I just settle back into Ashton's side, closing my eyes as I rest and wait for somebody else to wake up – at least then there is one less person to wake up in my attempts to get up.

I jump when Ashton turns onto his side, moving my legs quickly so that he can lie comfortably. He huffs in what seems to be amusement before wrapping his arm around me and bringing me back to him so I am once again lying against him. I try to keep my hips away from him though; it’s bad enough that I know it’s there without him knowing as well.

“I already know Luke, no point hiding now.” He whispers so quietly into my ear that I am not sure that he said it until it clicks that if he speaks that quietly then only I would be able to hear him, and Cal and Mikey have no chance in catching even a word of what he said – if they’re awake at least, though they seem pretty dead to the world if you ask me.

I bite my lip nervously before relaxing against him more, nuzzling against his jaw softly when he rumbles quietly – his wolf seemed to like it, whatever ‘it’ is. I pull my upper body away, lying with my head on the pillow so that we are able to see each other face to face, letting my eyes drift over his sleepy appearance – he hasn’t opened his eyes yet but I don’t need him to do so to know that he is awake since his heartbeat is calmer when he is asleep.

“Hi.” I whisper, biting my lip to suppress a smile when he smiles softly in return. I lean forward enough to brush our noses, before giggling when he grumbles as I move away, hooking one of his hands softly in the hair at the nape of my neck and pulling me back. He brushes his lips over my nose and each cheek before hesitantly brushing them over my lips. I hum quietly, leaning into him when this happens and connecting them properly. It stays innocent, just a few closed mouth kisses before he settles with his face buried against my neck.

Ashton pulls me closer to him when the other two start to wake up, leaning me at an angle against him and bringing our hips closer so that there is no way that either of them will see my problem that doesn’t seem to want to go away just yet. They head to the bathroom together soon after actually waking up and both Ashton and I tune out of their activities after that.

“Their wolves aren’t happy about being apart for so long.” Ashton mumbles against my forehead.

“They’re mates?” I ask surprised.

He chuckles, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Yeah, they’re very private about their interactions along those lines, hence why it isn’t always easy to notice. I only know because I’m the Alpha and I have to know what it going on within my pack.”

I hum before deciding to get up, untangling myself from Ashton and finding my baggy sweats and a shirt. I look over my shoulder when I hear no movement from Ashton but smile when I see that he is just watching me go about my morning and I guess you could say that he is literally just admiring the view. He sticks his tongue out at me when he notices that I have caught him but otherwise doesn’t seem to care that much.

I startle when I hear my wolf for the first time in a week and a half, waving off Ashton’s concern when he sits up in alarm because of my actions. “It’s fine.” I mumble to him, sitting on the edge near him as I listen to what my wolf is saying.

“Alpha was impressed with how quickly we got through all of this. There is nothing wrong with me or you, so you shouldn’t worry about that, we’re a strong pairing and being close to our true mate meant that we overcame it quicker than usual but we are completely healthy. All effects wore off late last night/early this morning so this morning’s mishap was all you that time.”

I smile, taking in the information and noting the teasing tone of the voice. Even if they are known as our wolves, they are literally like another human voice in our minds. When my wolf mentions the true mate part, my eyes widen and flick to where Ashton has wrapped one of his arms across my lap and around my front but he is lying back again and watching me. I guess since the other two are mates, that he must be mine and I am quite happy about that.

The other two come back into the room but I pay them no attention as I focus on my wolf completely.

“It's over?” I whisper. “No more?”

“It's over, completely over. We’re through it all and now we are a fully fledged werewolf, one being in as many ways as can be possible. You are me and I am you when we choose to be.”

I close my eyes, listening to my wolf happily celebrating the news with me, smiling and half shifting so that my fangs come out and my eyes change, ignoring my claws for now. I lick over my fangs, shaking my head quickly to snap my senses into my wolves control so that they are more enhanced.

“You are me and I am you.” I get out past my fangs as I move away from Ashton's arm and stand, moving towards the centre of the room and closing in on the other two. I pause, my eyes staying on Michael and ignoring Calum for the moment. I tilt my head before smiling wolfishly at him, letting my eyes flash the colour I know they should be now.

If I am the true mate of an Alpha, then I should, now that I am fully shifted and fully in control, have two different sets of eye colours. One set is beta gold like Michael and Calum’s but my second set is gold and red – one red eye and one gold – which is the set that only an Alphas true mate can have. The second set is the one that Michael will see now.

“So let’s play.” I finish what I was saying.

Michael’s eyes widen before he drops what he had in his hands and runs for the door.

“10 seconds, if I catch you then I will tear you to pieces for everything you’ve said over the past week and a half.” I growl at him as he gets the door open and rushes off.

Calum sends Ashton a nervous look but Ashton just smiles as he motions me back. I let the shift go as I retake my human features and bounce onto the mattress again and lay across Ashton lap, nuzzling at his stomach.

“You're not nice to that poor boy. He’s going to run around this hotel for ages before he realises that you’re not coming after him.” Ashton mumbles as he runs his hand through my hair and flashes his eyes, smiling when I show him the second set in return.

“So you’re not going to kill my mate?” Calum asks hesitantly.

“No. But look how scared he was, it was so worth it.” I reply, which gets a sigh of relief from Calum. “One day he will learn not to mess with me, especially now that I can kick his ass.”

Calum just gives us an amused sigh before leaving the room in search of Michael and to also get himself some food, leaving just Ashton and I in the room. We curl up on the bed for a little while longer, both in our own little worlds of thought. My mind wanders for a little while before something comes up in my mind that I can’t help but hook onto and think more on the subject.

I admit that I have read a lot of werewolf stories on websites/apps like Wattpad and there was always one thing that always came up in the stories but I never really had the guts to ask any of my family in case they laughed at me, the boys probably would have given me an answer but I wouldn’t put it past Michael to laugh at how stupid a question it seems -  I mean, I’ve never heard of it in my family or anyone around me and it got me thinking, is it because it doesn’t exist or is because it is just one of those things that aren't discussed because of how intimate an act it is.

I did a lot of research into werewolves – both because they interested me as a youngster and because I thought that it could be the closest I got to ever being one or feeling like it, I remember running around the house pretending to be one based on the information I gathered and it always made my brothers and parents laugh at how excited I was about it – so I guess I was decently prepared for what I was going to go through if it ever happened but this was one thing I didn’t really look into all that much.

It doesn’t seem all that realistic, unless...

“Ash, I was just thinking and I’m curious now. Can Alpha’s actually create a stronger mate bond through a mate mark if they’re with their true mate?”

I hear him choke on a shocked gasp before turning his full attention to me, seeming to be readying himself to answer, but even I can see the blush that is creeping its way up his neck. He shifts nervously, but holds eye contact, before speaking.

“Well...”