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Valentine's Day.
As far as Jay is concerned, Valentine's Day was really just a stupid day.
Red balloons clogged the hallways, swaying against the ceilings like overexcited hearts on the verge of bursting. Confession notes were plastered across locker doors in crooked, chaotic rows—some dramatic, some desperate and all painfully cringe.
It was a grand spectacle, apparently. A grand spectacle for all the girls of his class to squeal louder than usual and for the guys to parade around bragging about the number of chocolates they'd scored, as if they were starring in some cliche high school drama. Even the teachers wore suspiciously bright smiles, like they all had signed a contract of madness.
The whole thing felt suffocating.
But what truly made this day just absolutely unbearable for Jay were the inevitable confessions that Jungwon would receive.
They came in waves. Some slipped chocolates into his bag when they thought no one was looking. Some boldly pressed letters onto his palms, with cheeks flushed and voices trembling.
And on some rarer—more painful—occasions, there were the ones who skipped straight to dramatic declarations. And Jay could do nothing but just watch, jaw locked, silently pleading to every higher power that Jungwon would reject them. Every single one.
Last year, it had been that guy Park Sunghoon from his own class. Loud, confident and far too smug for Jay's liking. Jungwon had rejected him, of course. But that didn't stop Jay from burning holes into the back of his head for three weeks straight.
You would think why Jay didn't just confess his feelings and get it over with.
But it wasn't so easy.
Because Jungwon was his best friend, his home.
The one person who was constant in this world that shifted too easily. The one who knew how Jay liked his coffee, how he got quiet when he was upset, how he pretended not to care when he cared too much.
Confessing meant risking that.
Risking the easy laughter. The phone calls that stretched past midnight. The casual touches which lingered a second too long but still were safe under the label of best friends.
Jay could survive unrequited feelings. He would not survive losing Jungwon.
So he chose silence.
Every Valentine's, he settled for prayers instead. Let Jungwon reject them. Let this year be the same. Let it pass without anything changing.
Jay spotted Jungwon the second he stepped into that stuffy hallway.
He was leaning against the metal doors, hands tucked into his coat pockets and looking far too put-together for eight in the morning.
"You're late." Jungwon said, pushing off the locker the moment their eyes met.
"You're early." Jay shot back automatically.
Then he noticed it.
A faint sheen on Jungwon's lips. A soft blur at the corner of his eyes. Subtle, barely there, but enough to be noticed.
"You're wearing makeup." Jay said before he could stop himself.
Jungwon never really wore makeup. Even during school fests, he hardly used some gloss (he looked the prettiest anyway). So the thought of Jungwon wearing makeup on Valentine's, maybe for some guy—no. Jay must be overthinking.
Jungwon blinked. "No, I'm not."
"You are."
For a split second, Jungwon's ears turned red. A blush spread across his cheeks, and he looked away, suddenly shy in a way that felt ... intentional?
That's when it hit Jay.
The makeup wasn't random. It wasn't for fun. It was for someone.
Something unpleasant twisted low in Jay's stomach. "Why?" he asked, and he hated how flat his voice sounded.
Jungwon shrugged, still pink. "Just felt like it."
And the ugly feeling in Jay's gut multiplied, spreading fast as they fell into step beside each other.
The hours leading up to lunch crawled by like punishment.
Jay couldn’t focus on a single word the teacher said. His leg bounced under the desk. His fingers hovered near his mouth until he started chewing on his nails without realizing.
What if someone had already confessed? What if Jungwon had said yes?
Jake, unfortunately, had front row seats to the spiral. And as the only person who knew about Jay’s years-long, painfully obvious pining, he was not spared.
"Do you think Jungwon has someone he likes?" Jay muttered, eyes fixed on nothing. "I swear he’s never worn makeup to school before, but today—"
Jake didn’t even look up from his phone. "Let’s say he does."
Jay’s head whipped toward him. "Don’t say that."
"I’m serious," Jake sighed, finally meeting his gaze.
"What if he does have someone he likes? What if he dressed up for them? What if today’s the day he confesses?"
Jay went completely still.
The classroom noise dulled into a distant hum. "He wouldn’t," he said weakly.
"Why not?"
"Because he would’ve told me."
Jake smiled. "See? You know he would have told you because you two are that close." He reached over and squeezed Jay's shoulder. "Go ahead and tell him. Who knows? Maybe he likes you back."
Jay glanced at him and sighed. "He doesn't like me that way, I know—"
Jake smacked Jay hard on the exact same spot he had just patted.
"Ow! What the hell Jake?!"
Jake glared at him. "If you know everything, then keep your mouth shut. Don't fucking ask me anything, you idiot."
Jay rubbed his shoulder and was about to curse Jake back, when the bell rang. And just like that, he was gone.
Today, Jay was faster than usual to get to Jungwon's class and drag him off for lunch.
They were walking towards the cafeteria when their shoulders brushed. Jay pretended it didn't make his pulse trip.
He cleared his throat. "So...did you get something?"
Jungwon shook his head. "Not yet"
Jay let out an inaudible sigh of relief.
"What about you?"
"Huh?" Jay glanced back.
Jungwon met his gaze. "Did you get something?"
"Uh...that girl Yerim." Jay took out a chocolate box from his pocket. "She gave me these chocolates." It was decorated with pink hearts with a note reading To Jay ♡.
"Oh." Jungwon looked at the box in his hand. A pause. Then back at him.
Jay felt chills down his spine. What was that look?
"...So?" Jungwon asked lightly as they stepped into the cafeteria.
"So...I don't even like the strawberry filling. You do. And she didn't give these to me in person. They were on my desk..."
Jungwon just hummed along and took a seat at one of the empty tables. Jay hesitated for half a second before quickly taking the seat across him.
He placed the pink box between them on the table.
"You can have them." Jay smiled as he nudged the chocolates towards Jungwon.
"No." Jungwon smiled as he said, but something was off about it.
And somehow, this was worse than the unreadable look he had given in the hallway.
Why did it suddenly feel like he'd said something wrong?
They had barely started eating when a shadow fell over their table.
Jay looked up first. It was Heeseung. A senior. He had already parted his lips to greet him, a casual 'hi hyung' on his tongue, when he noticed the box of chocolates in Heeseung's hand, neatly tied with a blue ribbon.
Blue. Jungwon's favourite colour.
Jay's gaze followed the line of Heeseung's eyes, until it landed exactly where he feared it would—Jungwon.
For a split second, something reckless flared inside him. He imagined dragging Heeseung away to a nearby washroom, shoving him against the tiled wall and demanding he rethink whatever he was about to say. Or worse—begging. Spilling out his own stupid, unspoken feelings just to stop this from happening.
But before Jay could act on a single irrational thought, Heeseung started speaking.
"Jungwon" He said easily, not paying any mind to Jay who was right there, shooting daggers at the side of his face. "This is for you."
Jungwon blinked up at him—and then, to Jay's absolute horror, his expression softened. Almost shy. His fingers curled around the box and he murmured a soft 'thank you'.
Jay's throat went dry and Heeseung's face morphing into pure joy just contributed for the worse.
"It's my pleasure Jungwon." Heeseung was beaming as he spoke and Jay tried his best not to puke on his face. "Make sure to read the note. Bye!"
Note?
There was a note?!
Jungwon nodded, even gave a little wave as Heeseung turned to leave. An actual enthusiastic wave.
Jay stared at the blue ribbon in Jungwon’s hands, at the way his fingers were still lightly brushing over it, and suddenly the cafeteria felt suffocating.
He picked up his spoon again out of habit.
He couldn’t taste a single thing.
By the time they stepped out of the cafeteria and into the hallway, Jay couldn’t take it anymore.
“So,” he started, aiming for casual and landing somewhere near strained. “Heeseung hyung.”
Jungwon hummed.
"What did you think?" Jay asked, shoving his hands into his pockets so Jungwon wouldn’t see how tightly they were clenched.
Jungwon didn’t answer immediately.
Instead, he popped a chocolate into his mouth. He chewed slowly, like he was genuinely enjoying it. "Mm. It’s good."
Jay’s eye twitched. "You said you didn’t want chocolate", he blurted.
"I said I didn’t want that one."
The pit in his stomach just grew deeper.
Jay didn't say another word for the rest of the walk.
The classroom buzzed with the usual post lunch laziness—chairs scraping, pages turning, someone stifling a yawn—but it all sounded distant, muffled beneath the storm in Jay's head.
All he could picture was Jungwon walking to his classroom, chocolates in hand. Maybe smiling at his phone. Maybe rereading that stupid note.
A chair scraped beside him.
"Why do you look like your dog just ran away?" Jake whispered, leaning over.
Jay shot him a glare. "I don’t have a dog."
"You look miserable." Jake spoke again, unimpressed. "What happened?"
Jay hesitated. Then, in a low mutter, "You know Heeseung hyung? He confessed to Jungwon."
Jake blinked. "Oh."
"And Jungwon took the chocolates. He’s eating them. There was a note."
Jake stared at him for a second longer—and then, to Jay’s offense, he snorted softly. "Dude"
"What?" Jay hissed.
"You’re acting like they just announced their wedding."
Jay sighed. "You don’t get it."
"I do." Jake said, quieter now. "You like him, right?"
"Yes I do." Jay dropped his forehead against the desk with a dull thud. "I like him a lot."
Not just a crush. Not just a passing thing.
It was in the way he looked for Jungwon in every hallway. How his mood depended on a single smile. and how the color blue was not just a colour anymore.
Jay’s fingers curled into the fabric of his uniform. "And I don’t know what to do about it." he confessed, barely above a whisper.
Jake nudged his arm. "Tell him."
Jay’s laugh was hollow. "Yeah, and ruin everything? Great plan."
"Why would it ruin everything?"
"Because what if he doesn’t feel the same?" Jay shot back. "What if it gets weird? What if he—" He cut himself off.
Jake’s expression softened. "Jungwon isn’t like that."
Jay looked away.
"He’s not the type to throw away a friendship, that too yours, just because someone catched feelings." Jake continued. "You know that."
"And why" Jake continued, leaning back in his chair with a knowing grin, "are you not even considering that he might like you too?" He tilted his head. "Did you conveniently forget your last birthday?"
Jay’s shoulders stiffened slightly.
"The scarf" Jake prompted. "The handwoven one. He made that himself." He raised a brow. "Tell me—how many friends has he ever done that for?"
Jay kept his face buried in his arms.
Jake answered for him anyway. “None.”
Silence stretched between them.
"You two are special to each other." Jake said more gently now. "It’s not subtle. Everyone knows it. The way you orbit around each other like you’re magnets?"
Jay’s fingers tightened slightly against the fabric of his sleeve.
Jake let out a dramatic sigh. "Please. Confess. Save me from watching you pine yourself into early retirement."
"Or" Jake added, voice turning teasing again. "Sit back and watch some senior with a blue ribbon swoop in and win."
Jay finally lifted his head, eyes flashing with something wounded and determined all at once.
Jake smiled faintly.
"Exactly"
The final bell rang.
Jay was out of his seat before the echo faded. He headed straight for the lockers near the west staircase. Jungwon's locker. He knew the number by heart. He'd leaned against it a hundred times before.
His palms were damp. He wiped them against his trousers and rested his back against the cool metal.
There was no attempt to look relaxed this time.
His shoulders were tense, jaw tight, fingers flexing at his sides like he didn't know what to do with them.
Students flooded the hallway. Every time someone with dark hair turned the corner, Jay’s heart leapt into his throat.
And then there he was.
Jungwon walked toward the lockers, bag slung over one shoulder. He didn’t notice Jay at first. He was humming softly to himself.
When Jungwon glanced up, their eyes met. Jay's pulse stumbled, then raced, the way it always did when Jungwon looked into his eyes.
"Oh, Jay hyung"
Jungwon closed the distance between them, steps slowing as he took in Jay’s stiff posture. His brows drew together slightly.
"What happened?" he asked, voice softer now. "You look tense."
"I...need to tell you something."
"Yes?"
Jay’s pulse pounded so loudly he was sure Jungwon could hear it. His mind screamed at him to make a joke, to downplay it, to run.
Then he felt Jungwon's fingers wrapping around his forearm, grounding him down. He took a deep breath and parted his lips to face whatever awaited him.
"When Heeseung hyung confessed to you today." Jay began, the words uneven but steadying as they progressed. "I didn't like it."
Jungwon's grip loosened just slightly, but he didn't pull away.
"I told myself it wasn’t my business. That you can like whoever you want." Jay let out a small, shaky breath. "But the whole time, I just kept thinking… I don’t want to watch someone else say the things I’ve been too scared to."
Jungwon’s eyes flickered, searching his face.
Jay forced himself not to look away.
“I like you.” he said. "I like you a lot. Jungwon"
"I don’t mean casually. I don’t mean just as a friend." His voice steadied as he continued. "I like you in the way that makes me jealous over stupid blue ribbons. In the way that makes my day depend on whether you smiled at me.”
The hallway noise felt distant now—like they were standing in a world of their own.
"I tried to keep it to myself." Jay admitted. "Because what we have matters to me. You matter to me." His fingers twitched at his sides, resisting the urge to reach back. "But staying silent felt worse than the risk."
His throat tightened, but he pushed through.
"So yeah...I like you. A lot. Heck maybe I love you." He chuckled. "But I am not forcing anything on you okay—I just… needed you to know. Before I let myself regret it.”
For a second, Jungwon just stared at him.
Then he smiled—soft, bright and dangerous.
Jay's stomach dropped. "Why are you smiling?" he asked weakly.
Jungwon’s fingers slid from Jay’s forearm but didn’t move far. They lingered near his wrist instead.
"Because" Jungwon said slowly, eyes crinkling at the corners, "it worked"
Jay blinked. "What?"
Jungwon tilted his head innocently. "The plan"
Jay’s brain stalled. "What plan?"
"The confession plan" Jungwon said, far too calmly.
Jay couldn't make sense of anything.
"Heeseung hyung?" Jungwon continued, lips twitching. "I asked him for help."
“You—what?” Jay's eyes blew wide.
Jungwon laughed softly at Jay’s expression. "I knew you wouldn’t say anything first. You’ve been holding it in for months." He nudged Jay lightly. "So I thought… maybe you just needed a push."
"A push?" Jay repeated faintly.
"Hmm" Jungwon admitted, smiling sweetly.
Jay’s mouth parted and then closed, as if unable to find any words to say. "You’re telling me" he said slowly, "that the whole lunch break scene—"
"Was fake" Jungwon finished. "He doesn’t like me like that. He was just helping."
Jay felt like his knees might give out.
"You absolute menace. Do you know what I was going throu—"
"I like you too, hyung" Jungwon cut him off.
He was smiling—eyes crinkling at the corners and dimples pressing deep into his cheeks
Jay's heart soared at the sight and at the thought of Jungwon actually liking him back.
"I have for a while." His fingers finally curled properly around Jay’s wrist now, warm and sure.
And just like that, whatever faint trace of irritation he’d been holding onto slipped clean out of his mind, replaced by something dizzying and light.
"You are unbelievable." Jay murmured, but there was no bite left in it.
"And you are stubborn" Jungwon scrunched up his nose. "I was tired of waiting."
"You planned psychological warfare." Jay muttered while lacing their fingers together.
They had held hands before. During crowded festivals, while crossing streets, once during a horror movie when Jay had pretended not to be scared.
But this—this was different.
No excuses. No accidental brushing. No lingering question marks hanging in the air.
Jungwon's grip tightened as he grinned. “Effective, though.”
Jay rolled his eyes, but the smile tugging at his lips refused to fade.
"Then why didn't you eat those chocolates though?" he asked slowly, like he was piecing together a puzzle a little too late.
Jungwon tilted his head, watching him. "You still don't get it?"
Jay frowned.
"They weren’t from you." he said simply. "Someone else gave them to you. You just passed them to me. Why would I eat that?"
"Oh..." Jay breathed out, feeling stupid. "My bad."
Jungwon tried to suppress his grin but failed. "If you’re giving me chocolate, it should be yours. Buy me a new one, hyung."
Jay huffed out a soft laugh, shaking his head. "Fine. Let’s go"
They ended up stopping at the small convenience store on the walk home.
Jay stood in front of the chocolate shelf, arms crossed, scrutinizing every box like it was a life-altering decision. Jungwon hovered beside him, clearly amused. But when he finally picked one, he made sure it was Jungwon’s favorite kind.
Outside the store, Jay handed it over to Jungwon under the fading pink of the evening sky.
Jungwon beamed. “Happy Valentine’s Day, hyung.”
Jay glanced down at the box in Jungwon’s hands, at the way he held it like it mattered.
He thought about how much he’d hated this day. The noise. The confessions. The unnecessary drama.
And then he looked at Jungwon—at their intertwined hands, at the quiet happiness sitting between them.
Maybe Valentine’s Day wasn’t stupid.
Maybe it was only stupid when he wasn’t the one celebrating.
Jay squeezed Jungwon’s hand gently.
“Yeah", he murmured. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”