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Shane could tell, as he often did, that his husband was plotting something. Which wasn’t unusual, honestly, but considering they were at the Olympics, playing for Team Canada together for their first time in their career… he was worried, okay?
The team had arrived at the Olympic village just a few days ago, but Ilya had already charmed his way into half the delegations (there were skiers from France and the mixed curling team from Germany cheering louder than most Canadians during their first match), and he spent most of their meals eating pizza with his hands and jumping from table to table.
So, Shane shouldn’t have been surprised to see him chatting with other athletes late in the afternoon or early in the morning, even if it was often in isolated corridors, and his eyes darted around, as if checking if they were alone. These meetings usually ended with Ilya shaking hands with said athletes for a bit too long, like they were exchanging… something.
At first, he tried not to make anything out of it. Shane knew his husband, his integrity and his loyalty, so whatever was going on wasn’t something against the rules and regulations of the competition. But when the meetings started to multiply quickly and, rummaging through the drawers to find his favourite socks, Shane found an envelope full of bills of different currencies, then, well, he fucking worried.
He sat down on the bed, and waited for Ilya to come to the room to change before going to training. It took less than ten minutes, and when the door opened, Ilya was quick to notice the severe expression on Shane’s face and the envelope in his hands, but, instead of defending himself, he just started laughing and closed the door. “You found my honeymoon fund!”
Shane looked up to the sky, murmured some profanity under his breath, and then turned his gaze back to his husband. “Explain, Ilya, quickly, before I start screming.”
Ilya leaned against the door, smirking, and Shane really, really, hated the effect that had on him - he needed to fucking focus. “So, the other day I heard someone saying that condoms were starting to… finish.” Well, not unexpected. Shane wasn’t the only one who was enjoying his partner's company after brutal days of competition. “And we took a ton with us, so…”
Shane looked at Ilya and opened and closed his mouth a few times - he couldn’t believe his husband. They didn’t use condoms much these days, but sometimes they were easier to have on hand, for quicker clean-ups, so there were definitely quite a lot of extras.
“You are selling condoms? Ilya, seriously?”
Ilya’s eyes were twinkling, and his smile was taking over his whole face. He was definitely enjoying this too much. “Da, moya lyubov. Discounted for people I like, double the price for jerks.”
Shane massaged his forehead, feeling a headache coming. He couldn’t believe he married this idiot, really - Ilya was lucky he was so sexy, and that Shane had been smitten with him for the past 18 years. “Ilya, may I remind you that we are both extremely rich? And that we already had a honeymoon, a few years ago.”
Ilya tsked him, gesturing more than usual with his hands (the goaltender for the Italian hockey women’s team had spent two hours educating him on the filthiest gestures known to humanity, to Ilya’s ample fascination). “That was too short, we need new one! And you are very poor, Shane, so I must work extra hard to provide for us.”
It was true that Shane had taken a pay cut since signing with the Centaurs five years ago, but the difference had been smoothed out by Yuna finding him a few new sponsorships. And even with only the Centaurs pay, he was definitely not poor. “Ilya, you have to stop. I’m serious - I don’t even know if that’s legal!”
“Do you want all these athletes to have unprotected sex, Shane?” Ilya watched him disapprovingly, shaking his head. “Unresponsible, I can’t believe you.”
Shane swore under his breath, rubbing his eyes. “No, Ilya. You are going to gift the condoms to however ask for them, or else you are free to give them all away because we won’t have any use for condoms or lube until we go home.”
Ilya looked at Shane, Shane looked at Ilya, both sternly, neither of them wanting to back down. In the end, as usual, Ilya couldn’t resist Shane’s big doe eyes, or the threat of his words. “Okay, okay. You are very boring, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Now go change, or we will be late for training.”