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Clover was so tired.
They had been organizing everyone’s rooms so that the caretakers wouldn’t be mad. Their hands stung and itched from all the soap they had used to clean everybody’s dishes. Because it was so easy to pile chores onto Clover.
They didn’t blame the new kids, at least they didn’t want to. They didn’t know how the caretakers got when chores weren’t done. Clover knew the adults thought they were kind and caring towards the other kids, but Clover knew better. When somebody fell behind on their chores, they’d get one chance before the adults—it didn’t matter which one—would blow up on them, shouting and saying cruel, mean things about whatever they thought was wrong with the offending kid.
Clover hated it. Hated hearing kids cry and apologize and for the caretakers to just barrel past it and keep yelling to do better, do better. So Clover decided to do it all for them. All the mopping, all the cleaning. And when the adults asked for help cooking, Clover did that too.
Which included cleaning the dishes. The soap they used always made Clover’s skin sting and burn, and they never knew why. But they kept it up, because if they didn’t, someone would have a worse week than them.
So why am I leaving?
~
Chara could not take it anymore.
The world did not want them. Their village did not want them.
They did not even understand why they were so hated. Did everyone believe superstitions so fervently? Bad luck, misfortune, tragedy, what does that have to do with ME? I was just… I was just born!
But people did hate them. Red eyes meant the worst would come to pass, and since Chara had them… They only received the worst of everyone’s feelings. And each one of their feelings led to purple and yellow marks, all over Chara’s skin. It was pathetic, how good everyone felt about themselves when beating up a little kid.
If humanity could hate someone who had done nothing, what would they do to someone who did do something? Because, as much as Chara wanted to defy the expectations put on them, they’d always wanted something terrible to happen. Superstitions didn’t decide reality, but they knew, they knew that the longer they spent being treated like this, the more they’d want to make something happen. To all of them. To everyone who ever hurt them and mocked them and bullied them and hated them.
But I don’t… I don’t want to prove them right. I don’t want to bring bad things.
So they were going up. Up and away, and then down, where they’d never be seen again…
~
Clover didn’t know there was so much life down here.
The underground was so full of character, personality, and… innocence. It just didn’t seem possible that these monsters could’ve taken the others away. But Clover was always on their guard. How could they not be? Kids had apparently still died down here.
But meeting with Dalv and Martlet… they were wonderful, if a little misguided. Just needed someone to help get their heads on straight. Good people. But Dalv had met a human before, and he attacked Clover readily. Did he end up… hurting one?
Clover was haunting him, in his words. The idea of Dalv, awkward Dalv hurting someone, ending their lives… It didn’t feel real. It didn’t seem possible. And Martlet was a member of the royal guard. The guard’s whole job was waiting for someone like Clover to come by and capture them and use their souls to break the barrier. Which added a new layer of thought onto this. Harming people wasn’t right, no matter what, but they had been down here so long!
This is all so confusing…
~
Chara didn’t know such kindness existed in the world.
Monsters seemed incapable of only whimsy and joy. Their jokes were silly. Their puzzles were interesting! And above all else, they were kind. Extremely, extremely kind. They would never be beaten in the street, or stoned, or attacked just for having red eyes. They would never get bad food, and would never starve again.
In fact, their red eyes gave them something to relate with their new family. They were not alienated here in the underground. Violence did not come easy to monsters. Violence seemed foreign in general.
And it was wonderful. It was wonderful not to fear random attacks. It was wonderful to have food. It was wonderful to have a family that loved them. Loved them clearly. Loved them dearly, and without any facades. Chara didn’t have to curry favor with their new mother to get her to make them breakfast. They didn’t have to beg their new father to play with them. They didn’t have a new sister, they had a brother now, but he loved hanging out with them. He loved them, and did not steal their things or berate them.
They were so, so happy…
So why do I still feel so angry?
~
Clover understood it now.
None of it was fair. None. Humans dying, monsters being trapped, it was a situation nobody could make fully just, not even them.
Ceroba, Chujin, Kanako… all of that tragedy could’ve been avoided if that human wasn’t so violent. Clover knew they could’ve been scared, fighting in self defense—but that doesn’t justify murder.
But by that logic, Axis wasn’t justified either! And killing him wouldn’t solve anything, because it’d only make things worse for the other robots at the Steamworks. Clover couldn’t confront the human, they were long dead. They couldn’t do anything about Chujin, because he was also dead.
Ceroba had tried to do the right thing, but killing Clover wouldn’t be the right thing either. Unlike what their movies and stories had told them, there wasn’t a bandit or villain Clover could fight and solve everything by ending. Things couldn’t be solved with a duel to the death. But it still wouldn’t be fair to anyone but themself if Clover was withheld when monsterkind was so close to freedom!
Clover understood it now; there’d never be a perfect solution to this, to this unfairness that pervaded the history of men and monsters. But they could do something to ease their plight. Something to end their suffering.
“It’s time.”
~
Chara didn’t understand it.
Why would he hold back? The world would be a better place without the humans who had so eagerly hurt them. They had given up their life for this, and he wanted to throw it away for a horde of… of worthless, hateful people!
To which… Chara was no different, were they? They knew, they knew they were justified, but would they have been as justified if the crimes humanity had committed were done to someone else? Chara was just as hateful as they were. Moreso now that they knew the depths of kindness monsters were capable of. They knew how good people could be, and these humans weren’t capable of THAT sort of generosity.
They had told Asriel as such while he was getting pelted with stones, stabbed, and shot. To encourage him to save his own life, they told him every single thing humanity had ever done. Not only to them, but to others. Every terrible thing they could think of, they told Asriel. And when they could think no more, Chara begged.
With all their might, they begged and screamed at Asriel to destroy them. If not for their sake, but for his. They were not powerful enough to survive the barrage they were receiving. Hate may have fueled their actions, but it was still a matter of life and death, and they were going to die if they continued walking away. Chara even tried to forcefully take control of the body they were sharing, trying to turn it around and blast every single worthless soul into oblivion, where they could never hurt anybody ever again.
But he refused.
With his dying breaths, he refused to hurt any of them.
Chara didn’t understand.
They never would.
~
When the humans next awoke, it was in a familiar place. A blooming flowerbed, with birds chirping overhead, and a human laying on the flowerbed.
Except it was neither of themselves in the flowerbed, and someone entirely new in their place. They did not know who this was, or what had happened to lead them here, but they figured that no matter what mysteries lie before them, it’d be the beginning of something weird. Something unfamiliar. A new adventure, maybe. Another chance to do better, perhaps.
It’d be the beginning of something new.