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Love is a lot like a rocky sea.
Surging waves rock against the hull of a vessel, brutal and wrenching every single time they hit. Every collision is a bump in the road, as your heart tries to figure out what exactly is causing it to skip a beat. There’s no real way to understand it, not when it’s your first time feeling such feelings. It’s pure, uncertain infatuation.
The way her eyes glisten like fireworks. How her ebon hair falls against her shoulders. How her grin lights up a room like a performer at a festival, and makes your heart bash against your chest like those same waves against the hull. How did she do it?
“And how’d I fall so hard?” Said someone, to herself.
Trembling hands clutched a bouquet of flowers, perhaps a little too hard. Her gaze was fixated on them. Blue as the sky, some were, and others as deep and navy as the sea itself. Bluebells, hyacinths, the works; she’d made sure to research their exact meaning. Flowers weren’t her favourite thing in the whole world, sure, but… if it were to be for her…
Cheval Grand shook her head. She just needed to get it over and done with – yearning like an idiot wouldn’t get her anywhere. She had to reach the lighthouse in the storm.
But what if she says no?
That question is what had her paralyzed with anxiety, trembling like a newborn guppy with the shimmies. Kitasan Black… Kitasan was way out of her league. If anything, she’d knock that door, and Diamond would answer it instead of the one she loved.
On the contrary, standing out in the dorm hall in front of her door, clutching some flowers like a dork while fighting both anxiety and an intensely unwanted blush from creeping up on her was only drawing more attention to her.
Her hand reached for the middle of the door, balled into a fist – and then, it faltered. Three times. Three times already, she’d tried that. Three times she’d failed. Such an easy thing, and she couldn’t even do it. What chance did she even have?
Defeated, she bowed her head forward, letting it knock against the door ever so softly through the fabric of her hat. Her tired, cyan eyes shut, in resignation.
There was no way to win this race against her own insecurity. Her hull was about to burst. She was about to sink. The waves were just too high, she couldn’t–
Click.
Rudely, the door decided to attack her in her time of lowness. She yelped, as it swung open, and it sent her a pace back. Her grip on the flowers tightened. Then, their eyes met for the thousandth time.
Goddesses, she was gorgeous.
Her eyes glistened like celebratory fireworks. Her hair fell wildly, beautifully, against her shoulders, just as Cheval’s mind had pictured. Those eyes, those striking, crimson red eyes that capsized Cheval’s heart every time they grazed her own. Her smile…
Kitasan Black’s smile fell as her eyes met Cheval’s, and Cheval felt her heart sink into the seabed. She looked pained. Sympathetic, almost, and so did the girl who stood behind her, holding her hand firmly. The hand Cheval should've been holding. Ripped from her grasp.
Satono Diamond.
Cheval’s hands clenched harder against the flowers, almost crunching the stems.
“Ch-Cheval,” began Kitasan–
The flowers hit the floor, neatly tied bow splaying, allowing petals to be dismembered from the crunched stems. Cheval’s hands balled into heavy, heavy fists. She pulled the brim of her hat down, covering her eyes, which were already beginning to sting.
“Happy valentines,” she managed through gritted teeth, before whirling around, and sailing down the hall, away from the light.
That lighthouse wasn’t hers to be guided by.
Eventually, the vessel moored. Finding a rocky island in the howling wind, she’d let down her anchor, and given up hope.
Pushing herself upright, she sniffled. Goddesses, she was so pathetic. Her pillow was wet with tears that she didn’t even feel like she deserved to have shed. She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up in the first place. She knew that light was too far. The waves were too high. Kitasan Black…
She hated her.
Right now, as she wasted away in her room, as the sun crept higher and higher into the sky with every hour – her ire only grew.
What had she been thinking? How useless, how stupid, did she have to be? Why she bothered, she’d forgotten. That smile felt poisonous now. Every time she thought of it, she thought of how it’d fell at the sight of her. She’d ruined her own dream, and probably their friendship, by chasing her stupid, stupid heart. If she could, she would’ve kicked the vessel – what good did it do her, anyway?
Minutes sulking sank into hours, and eventually, the sun began to set. Her roommate was nowhere to be seen – probably out training. Doing something interesting, something productive, unlike Cheval. Her hat lay on the nightstand beside her, as she stared absently up at the ceiling.
Despite the dimming light however, a knock rang from the door.
“Chevaaal? You in? You okay?”
Her breath hitched. She knew that voice. Why was she here?! If she saw her like this… she’d never hear the end of it. Her eyes were still red-rimmed and puffy – there was no way she could be seen.
Another knock. “Hellooo?”
Her heart had been through enough today as is. What she didn’t need right now was a stupid ‘magic trick’.
…But, she was getting lonely. And after today… maybe she needed someone who wasn’t Kitasan to think about.
Her legs swung out of bed, casting the covers off. She stood up – then, strode to the door, opening it. And in the doorway stood none other than her friend, Satono Crown, with a bouquet under one arm, and a box of chocolates cradled in the other.
Cheval’s breath caught in her throat. She began to tremble again – but, not of anxiety – of something entirely different, and entirely indecipherable.
Silence stung like saltwater to the eyes, both equal issues for Cheval. Her eyes dropped to the contents of Crown’s gifts… and she couldn’t help but sniffle again. Despite how pathetic she felt from it.
“Are… Cheval…”
The words lacked Crown’s usual confident tone; laced with concern. “...Are you okay?” she finally said.
And in response, Cheval only shook her head.
Nodding in understanding, Crown bowed her head in respect. “I can go if you like–”
Cheval cut her off. “No… no. Stay, please.”
Shrieking waves assaulted her vessel. Her heart wanted her to veer off course, to sail away into the distance, away from this second light that’d emerged so close to her.
What would that get her, though?
Crown nodded, her emerald eyes shining with something bright, and warm. “Hou,” she said, then stepped inside the room. Cheval’s heart was racing so fast she almost didn’t think to ask what Crown had meant by the word.
The box, and the flowers, were set down gently at the foot of Cheval’s bed, as Crown dropped down to sit on the edge at the opposite end. She patted the mattress next to her, legs crossing, in an offer to take a seat. Cheval hesitated, hand clenching, then unclenching – but she shook her head. With resignation, she took the offer, and sat gingerly beside Crown.
“Hope it doesn’t seem like I’m intruding,” apologised Crown. Confusingly, a faint, faint blush appeared on her face as she continued, “Those flowers and chocolates…”
“They’re not for me,” spat Cheval. “I know. Why would they be? Who would give me flowers? I’m pathetic.” Tears began to spiral down her cheeks again – and that was her cue to stop. She was just doing the exact opposite of what she’d wanted. Crown didn’t need to worry, even if her heart always fluttered when she cheered her up
Wiping her tears, though, Cheval saw Crown’s expression twist in slight hurt, and in response her heart sank even lower.
“They are, Cheval,” said Crown. “They’re all for you.”
A momentary, yet ever-stretching silence followed, broken by the rustle of clothes as Cheval hugged herself in dire shame.
“Wh-why…?”
“Because– well–” Crown’s hands met in her lap. “Why do you think, Cheval?”
Crown chuckled, as if she was laughing at herself. Laughing at it all. And then – suddenly, impossibly – the night burst into beautiful light.
“I love you.”
“What–”
“You heard me,” Crown confirmed, her confident smile melting all the pain. “I thought I’d tell you today – seemed fitting.”
Noticing Cheval’s convoluted, weather-wracked expression, she continued: “You don’t have to reciprocate. There’s no pressure there. I know you…”
A pause, and then, Cheval could almost hear the cogs churning in Crown’s head. Her brows raised, and then, Cheval knew she’d figured out exactly why she was such a mess.
“Ah.”
Crown let out a deep, deep sigh. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t–”
There was no way she was letting the light leave her again.
“I-I love you too!” sputtered Cheval, blurting the confession as quickly as a ship changing course to avoid an iceberg. “I-I… I do. And… and, I think…”
Crown’s eyes brightened, meeting Cheval’s. Seeing the hope in her gaze, she responded in kind, hands meeting in anticipation.
“I-I think maybe… we should… try?”
Though it was nebulous, vague – Crown nodded in understanding.
“That’s what I wanted to hear,” she said. And then, as Crown’s hand gently caressed her cheek, wiping a stray tear with her thumb… she felt happy, for the first time all day. All week, actually. The dread of rejection, it’d all been wiped away by someone she’d only known as a friend. Every fleeting glance they’d exchanged – Cheval had written it off as Crown being annoying, and clingy. But those glances had clearly held a different meaning, now that things had been said.
Cheval’s arms untangled from herself, dropping limply to her sides. Then, in a move entirely unlike her – they wrapped around her light. They locked into place, like an anchor locking to the seafloor, around Crown’s waist.
“Glad you feel the same,” Crown spoke, her voice full and warm. And then, her arms joined the embrace, falling gently around Cheval’s shoulders.
The two stayed there, and simply let the silence draw on. Her chin against Crown’s upper chest, she could smell her hair; it smelled like roses. Lovely, red roses – the scent was intensely similar. Her hair smelled like home. And she was so, so warm, and so, so present.
Crown motioned to pull back, ever so slightly, and Cheval’s embrace loosened in fear of making her uncomfortable. But once their eyes met again, Crown only smiled, cheeks as red as Cheval’s own – and leant forward.
Their lips met, and sparks flew. Her royal ocean, her fair winds, her glorious light – she was so close this entire time. The kiss was deep, tender, fueled by naught except the genuine, true love that Crown had held so close to her chest for so long. And they held their kiss for what felt like even longer.
Eventually, to Cheval’s slight dismay, Crown pulled away. Breathing deeply and firmly in through her nose, then slowly out through her mouth, her warm breath grazed Cheval’s lips as if it were a welcoming sea breeze. And throughout the entire exchange, no words were spoken. Cheval’s cheeks, once wet with tears, now burnt with the flames of love.
“...I’d love to stay like this forever,” Crown said, finally shattering the blissful silence that had enraptured the two, “but, the chocolates will melt if we don’t eat them soon.”
And so, the skies did clear.
And the waters were calm.
And, the vessel, no longer alone in its perilous sea,
Was safe, free from harm.
Love is a lot like the sea.
Sometimes it’s rough, brutal – surging waves bashing against the hull of your vessel.
But, once you pass the storm, once you sail through the hurt and find your light, it’s all okay. No matter how many waves knock your vessel off course, how many harsh winds strike your face, how many times you capsize – know that you will find your light.