Work Text:
1961
The rope burnt her skin.
Karen`s eyes stung, her hands shook, her breath quivered. Martha had almost… almost… The thought didn`t bear finishing. Right now, her best friend lay in bed peacefully as if that nightmarish day hadn`t happened. But it had and nothing could remind Karen of its horrors as swiftly as the rope burn around Martha`s neck.
The stinging in her eyes threatened to turn into full-blown crying, but Karen held her tears back. Martha didn't need her weakness; she required care, attention, and unwavering support.
The door creaked. Heavy footsteps, and suddenly there were a pair of strong hands on Karen`s shoulders. She flinched, both out of guilt and surprise.
“You should come to bed, my dear.” Joe`s voice was warm enough to make a new wave of self-recrimination course through her. “You needn`t worry about Martha. Her injury is not severe enough to require more than bedrest. I doubt she would appreciate you dropping dead from exhaustion on her behalf.”
“Joe, I can`t.” Karen sounded fatigued even to her own ears. “She was a hair away from death today! What if I were late even by a second? No, I won`t be able to close my eyes until I`m sure she`s alright.”
“What if I stand in for you for a bit?” Joe offered, not unkindly. “You`ll rest and I`ll tend to her.”
“No, I must see her with my own two eyes. Good Lord, I can`t believe what those cruel people did to her! To us.”
Anger seeping into her voice and face, Karen fixed her stare on Martha. None of this would have happened if only the residents of this town hadn`t believed the lying words of a foolish little girl.
“But that`s all behind you now.” Joe massaged her shoulders, straightening the knots in them. “The court agreed to treat the accusations against you as slander and Mrs. Tilfold is willing to pay the damages.”
“Suppose so.” Karen replied carefully, hoping the bitterness didn`t color her tone. Privately, she couldn`t disagree more. However, Joe didn`t need to know that: Cardin`s medical practice earned plenty of money and he mustn`t abandon such a successful venture in order to move elsewhere with her. Karen didn`t want him as a travel companion either. She only hoped that Martha would wake soon and the two of them would leave this wretched town and its despicable people for good.
1962
It was their first year of living together in San Francisco. Their new lives felt simultaneously hyperreal and dreamlike: it was all quite mundane, and yet tension underlined the simple routine.
Over the course of the first seven months of their co-existence, Martha came to terms with her inversion and a status quo arose. The two of them would rise with the sun, Martha cooking breakfast while Karen readied herself for work. At 8 AM sharp, she left to teach elementary school girls spelling and arithmetic while Martha cleaned the house, did laundry, and sold clothes that she knitted as a side hustle. After Karen came home, they shared a modest dinner, bathed separately, and went to their respective beds.
Despite the mundanity of it all – or, perhaps, because of it – Karen often found herself lost in thought. Her mind wandered to Martha`s feelings. Does an invert experience love the same way a man would towards a woman, or are her sentiments fundamentally different in nature? Martha clearly did feel the longing that characterized so much of romance, but what of… other things? Did she experience desire as a gentleman would? Karen remembered how Joe sometimes looked with unrestrained hunger in his eyes after the dates ended. Could Martha stare at her the same way? Well, not with such a lack of restraint, she supposed. Nobody – even Martha herself – considered these affections normal, after all.
At the thought of such a lustful look in Martha`s eyes, Karen shuddered all over. Whenever these ideas crossed her mind – which was quite often as of late – a peculiar list of sensations followed. A heat that coursed through her, a breath that grew shallow, a tremble that didn`t subside. It was almost similar to what her early dates with Joe felt like, only it couldn`t be because that`d be deviant, and, while Karen wasn`t opposed to such people anymore seeing as her closest friend was one of them, she definitely loved men. One could not be both normal and inverted, could they?
With that in mind, Karen pushed these thoughts away and went to bed. Whatever the queerness haunting her is, she will figure it out. For Martha`s sake, if nothing else.
1969
Five years have passed since Karen realized that her affection for Martha ran deeper than that of a mere confidant and reciprocated Martha`s own.
July of 1969 was abnormally hot and an atmosphere of laziness permeated the humid air of San Francisco. Karen was about to take a siesta when Martha ran into their apartment, a newspaper in her hand. A look of something unidentifiable crossed her face and Karen rose immediately to see what it was all about.
“Take a look!” Martha all but shoved ‘The New York Times’ into her general vicinity.
“What is it, dear?!” The nervousness was contagious and Karen`s hands shook as she took the paper.
On the front page, there was an article titled ‘Homosexuals Rebel Against the Police in a New York bar’ and a horrifying image of a man dressed as a woman throwing a brick into a window. The author salaciously described a riot in which the mob attacked a police raid with all the viciousness of an angered crowd. Her eyes skimmed through mentions of bottles thrown, tires burnt and people handcuffed.
Karen swallowed hard. That wasn`t good. She and Martha hoped to live quietly, away from the cruelties that tore their lives apart in Massachusetts. These… these… imbeciles drew attention to the homosexual lifestyle which impacted those who wanted an unassuming existence first and foremost. Didn`t they realize the danger they brought with their misdemeanors?! Images of a trial, terrifying accusations, becoming a social pariah flickered in her mind. Karen drew a deep breath and refocused on Martha.
“Everything will be alright, darling.” She mustered a reassuring smile. Hopefully, Martha doesn`t see how thin it is. “Nobody has any reason to associate us with… this.”
“But what if they do?” Martha`s voice quivered. “We live together, Karen, and we both are past the age when normal women find a husband. Is that not suspicious in and of itself?”
“Perhaps, but we are not like them. We are completely respectable women who work with children and who act according to the proper custom with the exception of our love for each other.” Karen shook her head. “Maybe, normal couples like us are what convinces people to accept the homosexual lifestyle.”
“You can`t tell anyone!”
“I am not going to. But someday…”
1971
The new decade greeted them with a revolutionary air. At first, the change horrified Karen and, especially, Martha. They were even more careful – almost paranoid – about holding hands in public or even sharing a long look. With homosexuals all over America revealing their true nature, the pair was afraid that normal people would become aware of the signs and would be able to smell their love like sharks sensed blood in the water. Karen worked with children: surely no parent would find her presence acceptable if they knew.
However, the newfound openness brought joy to many and even their darkest fears seemed less overwhelming in the face of the latest triumphs. After all, didn`t other homosexuals have jobs as well? Weren`t they also scared of public scrutiny? It wasn`t uncommon to be kicked out of the place you rented because of your homophilic feelings, and yet people risked it all anyway.
One day, Martha brought a newspaper titled ‘Come Out!’ to their apartment and Karen`s eyes greedily devoured every word on the page. Could she put her teaching position on the line like that? Surely, she couldn`t, but perhaps they didn`t have to ‘come out’ all the way. Both their parents lived with no knowledge of their daughters` shame. Karen didn`t want to treat the purest feeling in her life like an embarrassing secret to be concealed forever from her family. She exchanged a silent look with Martha.
“Would you like to visit my parents in Massachusetts?” Even though the sentence was unassuming, Martha`s face scrunched up from a complicated mix of emotions. Silence rang in the room, deafening and strained. Finally, her face cleared and she said:
“We oughta give them a call first.” Martha looked away. “They should be prepared for this conversation.”
1982
A rare pneumonia, huh. By now, everybody and their mother knew that the ‘gay disease’ was nothing of that sort and that the Lord seemingly punished American homosexuals with this new, terrible virus.
Even though women dying from this thing was unheard of, TV couldn`t shut up about the sinful nature leading to such terrible outcomes. Karen didn`t experience so much fear since they left their dying town in Massachusetts all those years ago. Martha`s kindness shone through in this peril, her heart going out for these young men, but Karen couldn`t bring herself to care when neighbors she knew for decades began hurling slurs her way. However, where her mid-twenties self trembled with dread, a forty-year-old Karen Wright burned with indignation. She lived with Martha for two decades now and that is her reward?! She wouldn`t stand for it.
It turned out that Martha could stand for it even less.
“I`m going to train to be a nurse if that`s alright with you, my dear.” Her hands shook, but the look in her eyes was firm. “I can`t stand all these people dying! I have to help. Plus, I tended to you so much when you were sick. Even if there`s no cure, I can at least take good care of them.”
Karen didn`t hesitate to give an answer. Convincing Martha to ignore the pleas of the fellow men was a lost cause and she was proud of her lover for having such a good soul anyway.
“Of course. Let me train with you.”
1991
New dawn rises. Karen lies in bed beside her beloved, their warm socks touching under the blanket. The morning is unhurried, the distant noises of cars barely reaching their ears.
It was their thirtieth anniversary of Martha`s survival, and even though her lover never acknowledged or celebrated the date, Karen always thought of how fortunate she was on that day. Instead of rope burns, the neck on the nearby pillow sported a hickey and wrinkles, the sign of her growing old, living for many years after the small-minded townspeople in Massachusetts ruined their reputation. Karen couldn`t be happier with how things turned out: if not for the foolish lie, she may have never realized the truth, married Joe Cardin, and spent her days without Martha`s love.
How could she live such a life? Never knowing how Martha flushes scarlet when she`s embarrassed or aroused, how her fingers carded through Karen`s hair, how much kindness she bestows upon her every patient? No, that wouldn`t be life, merely an existence. And even though the world around them continues to change for better and for worse, there`s one constant in Karen Wright`s Universe: she has Martha Dobie`s hand to hold.