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It was a sunny day on the playground when Len decided that Akita Neru was the coolest girl he had ever seen. He was only ten years old, but his confidence exceeded his age. He marched right up to her with a yellow dandelion he found near the slide. He offered it to her with a wide smile, but she just looked at him like he was a weird bug. She knocked the flower out of his hand and told him to go away because he was loud and annoying. Len watched her walk off with her blonde ponytail swishing, but he did not cry. He just picked the flower up and thought that he would try again tomorrow with a better gift.
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That was seven years ago, and not much had changed now that they were seniors in high school. Len stood by his locker on Valentine’s Day morning while clutching a small, yellow gift bag. He was both incredibly nervous and incredibly excited.
‘This is the year’ he thought to himself. ‘I have the best chocolate and a card that is not too mushy but still cute’
“You have that look on your face again” a voice chirped loudly.
Len jumped as Rin leaned her entire body weight against his shoulder. She was grinning and poking at the gift bag with a playful finger.
“Is that for the ice queen?” she asked. “You really never learn, do you? It has been years of this, Len!”
“It’s not about learning” Len said while trying to move the bag out of her reach. “It’s about persistence and—”
“It’s about being a total loser” another voice chimed in.
Nero appeared from around the corner, looking as sour as a lemon. He stood next to Rin and crossed his arms while glaring at Len.
“My sister does not want your cheap chocolate, Kagamine” Nero said. “Why don’t you take a hint and finally leave her alone?”
“Be nice, Nero” Haku said as she walked up behind them. She sighed and leaned against the lockers, looking tired but amused. “Though he has a point, Len. You are very consistent, even if it is a bit embarrassing for everyone watching”
They all laughed and eventually walked away toward their homeroom. Len stayed by his locker and thought about Neru. He remembered how she looked yesterday in the library, and he felt his heart swell.
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Len stood in the hallway and stared at his reflection in the glass of a trophy case. He looked okay-ish, but his tie was a little crooked and his hair was as messy as it always was. He tried to flatten a stray blonde strand that kept sticking up, but it just popped back into place like it was mocking him. Today was the day that mattered most because it was their last Valentine’s Day as high schoolers - if he did not make a move now, he might lose his chance forever once graduation happened and everyone went their separate ways.
He was reaching into his bag to check on the yellow gift bag for the tenth time when a heavy hand smacked his back. He stumbled forward and almost hit the glass.
“Still hovering like a vulture?” Nero asked as he walked past. He did not even look back at Len. “She’s in the lab. If you go in there and annoy her while she is working, she will probably actually kill you this time”
“I am not going to annoy her!” Len called out, but his voice cracked a little at the end.
“You do so by existing” Nero shot back over his shoulder.
Len sighed and leaned against the lockers. He felt a bit smaller than he had five minutes ago. He started walking toward the science wing, but he was stopped by Rin who was leaning against a doorframe and chewing on a piece of gum. She looked at him, then looked at the bag in his hand.
“You still haven’t given it to her?” she asked with a tilted head. “Len, it is almost lunch time. You are losing your window of opportunity here!”
“I know that, Rin” Len said. “I am just trying to find the right moment. I do not want to embarrass her”
“You always embarrass her” Rin laughed. She reached out and ruffled his hair, making the mess even worse. “But that is just your charm. Go on then, go be a brave little soldier”
He kept walking, but his feet felt like they were made of lead. Near the stairs, he ran into Haku. she was looking at her phone, probably texting Kaito, but she perked up when she saw Len. She gave him a long, vague look that he couldn’t quite read.
“The weather is nice for a confession” she said. “You should probably hurry up before it changes, Len. Eleanor’s weather app said it’s going to rain soon”
“Thanks, Haku” he muttered. He was not sure if she was encouraging him or just making fun of the situation.
He finally reached the lab where Neru was sitting by herself. She was looking at a textbook and typing something into her phone. Len took a deep breath and walked inside. The room was quiet and had a nauseatingly inky smell.
“Neru?” he asked softly.
She did not look up immediately. She finished her sentence on her phone and then slowly turned her head. Her eyes were sharp and her expression was as cold as a winter morning.
“What do you want, Kagamine?” she asked. “I’m busy”
“I just wanted to give you this” Len said as he held out the yellow bag. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I thought you might like these chocolates because they are the dark chocolate ones you mentioned once”
Neru looked at the bag and then looked at him. She did not reach for it. Instead, she sighed and turned back to her book.
“I don’t want them” she said. “Go give them to your sister or something. Stop wasting your money on things I’m not going to eat”
“But I got them specifically for you” Len insisted.
“And I’m specifically telling you no” she snapped. She looked at him again, and for a second he thought she looked frustrated, but he figured it was just because he was being a nuisance. “Just go away, Len. I have work to do”
Len stood there for a few seconds with his hand still out. The silence in the room felt very heavy. He eventually pulled his hand back and tucked the bag into his jacket.
“Okay” he said quietly. “Sorry for bothering you”
He walked out of the room and did not look back. He didn’t go to the cafeteria for lunch. Instead, he went to the rooftop and sat on a bench behind a large vent where nobody would see him. He felt a deep, hollow ache in his chest that was much worse than the rejections he got when they were kids. Back then, it was like a game, but now it felt like he was just a failure who could not take a hint.
‘Why am I like this?’ he thought. ‘I’m so annoying’
He started thinking back on all the years he spent chasing after her. He felt a hot wave of embarrassment wash over him as he remembered freshman year. He had bought a giant bouquet of flowers and tried to give them to her in the middle of the crowded courtyard. Everyone stared and whispered while Neru turned bright red and yelled at him to get lost. He had thought he was being romantic, but he realized now he had just made her a target for gossip.
Then there was sophomore year. He tried to be more private, so he had slipped a long, rambling letter into her locker. He had waited around the corner to see her reaction, but when she opened it, she had looked genuinely creeped out. She had looked around the hallway like she was being hunted, and she threw the letter away without even finishing it.
‘I was a stalker’ he groaned to himself. He put his face in his hands. ‘I’m a total creep’
Junior year felt the worst in a weird way. He tried to be ‘chill’ about it. He gave her a small box of chocolates and told her he just wanted to thank her for being a good friend for all those years. He tried to be respectful and give her space, but Neru had looked at him with this weird, angry glare. She snatched the box and walked away without saying a word, and then she ignored him for four days after that.
‘I can’t even be a friend correctly’ he thought. ‘She probably hates me because I won’t just leave her alone. I really am a big fat nuisance’
He looked at the yellow gift bag sitting on the bench next to him. It looked pathetic. He felt like he was finally hitting a wall. Maybe Nero was right. Maybe he was just a loser who was harassing a girl who clearly wanted nothing to do with him. He decided then and there that he was done. He would give the chocolates to Rin and he would never mention his feelings to Neru again. He would just be a normal classmate and let her have the peace she wanted.
He sat there for a long time while the wind blew around him.
“I knew I would find you up here” a voice said.
He looked up and saw Rin walking toward him. She wasn’t smiling her usual mischievous smile, instead she looked concerned. She sat down next to him and bumped her shoulder against his.
“Nero told me what happened in the lab” she said. “He was bragging about it, but I told him to shut up”
“He’s right though” Len said. His voice was thick. “I should stop. I have been doing this for years and she has not once said yes. I’m just being a burden to her”
“You are not a burden, Len” Rin said. She grabbed his arm and squeezed it. “You are the only person who hasn’t given up on her. Everyone else is scared of her, but you actually care”
“It doesn’t matter if I care if she doesn’t want me to” Len replied.
“Who says she doesn’t want you to?” another voice asked.
Len looked over and saw Haku standing by the door to the roof. She was leaning against the frame with her arms crossed. Behind her was Nero - he looked incredibly uncomfortable and was staring at his shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the world.
“You’re being very dramatic, Len” Haku said. “It’s actually a little exhausting to watch”
“I’m just being realistic” Len argued.
“No, you’re just being a quitter” Haku argued. “And it’s senior year. If you quit now, you will spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you tried one more time”
Nero cleared his throat loudly, causing everyone to look at him. He shifted his weight and rubbed the back of his neck, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else on the planet.
“Look” Nero said while still looking at the ground. “My sister is... she is a lot. She is difficult and she doesn’t know how to talk to people. But you are the only one who doesn’t run away when she gets mean”
Len stared at him in shock. “Are you actually encouraging me, Nero?”
“Shut up!” Nero snapped, though his face was a little pink. “I am just saying that if you give up now, you are proving that you were just like everyone else. And I thought you were more stubborn than that. It’s annoying as hell, but at least it was consistent”
Rin jumped up and pulled Len to his feet. She started dusting off his jacket.
“See?” she chirped. “Even the Mr. Grumpypants thinks you should go for it! This is your last chance, Len. Tuesday is almost over… if you don’t find her now, she will go home and the day will be over”
Len looked at his sister, then at Haku, and finally at Nero. He felt a tiny spark of his old self starting to wake up. They weren’t telling him that she liked him, but they were telling him that he shouldn’t give up on himself.
“You really think I should try again?” he asked. “Right now?”
“Yes!” Rin shouted.
“Before I change my mind and punch you, dork!” Nero added.
Haku didn’t say anything, but she did give him a kind smile that spoke loudly.
Len grabbed the yellow gift bag from the bench. He felt a rush of adrenaline hitting his system. He didn’t have a plan nor a fancy speech, but he did have persistence. He had been a persistent, annoying, attention-seeking ‘puppy’ (as Nero so kindly called him) for years, and he wasn’t ready to stop now.
“Okay” Len said. “I am going to find her”
“That’s the spirit!” Rin cheered while pushing him toward the door.
Len started running. He ran down the stairs and through the hallways. He checked the library, but she wasn’t there. He checked the student council room, but it was empty. He looked at his watch and saw that there were only fifteen minutes left before the final bell would ring. He felt his heart hammering against his ribs. He was sweating a little and his breath was coming in short gasps, but he did not stop. He checked the music room and the art room, yet they too had no signs of Neru.
‘Where would she go?’ he wondered.
He remembered that sometimes, when she was really stressed, she went to the old courtyard behind the gym because nobody ever went there. It was quiet place that was full of overgrown bushes, a real lovely spot to calm down after an exhausting day. He turned a corner and sprinted toward the back exit of the school.
He burst through the doors and into the cool air. The courtyard was grey and misty, but he saw a flash of blonde hair near the old stone bench. Neru was sitting with her head down, looking small and lonely. She was holding something in her lap, but he couldn’t see what it was from this distance.
Len slowed down as he approached her. He didn’t want to startle her and make her run away. He tucked the gift bag behind his back and took a deep breath to steady his voice.
“Neru?” he called out.
She jumped and looked up. Her eyes were wide and she looked like she had been lost in thought. When she saw it was him, her expression shifted back into a defensive scowl, but it didn’t look as sharp as it usually did - it actually looked a little tired.
“You again?” she asked. “I thought I told you to go away”
“You did” Len said as he stepped closer. “But I’m not very good at listening to that specific instruction. I think we both know that by now”
He stood in front of her and didn’t move. He had seven years of momentum behind him, and he was going to make it count.
“I have something to say” he said. “And you don’t have to say anything back, but I do want you to listen”
Neru crossed her arms and looked away, but she didn’t tell him to leave this time. Len took that as a win. He felt his heart swelling again, and this time, he didn’t let the doubt push it back down.
Len stood his ground as the wind picked up around the courtyard. He pulled the yellow bag from behind his back and held it out one last time.
“I know I am annoying” he started. “And I know I’ve probably done a thousand things to make you want to punch me over the last decade, but I’m not doing this to bother you or embarrass you. I am doing it because I really, really like you, Neru. I have liked you since we were kids and I still think you are the most amazing person I have ever met”
Neru stared at the bag like it was a ticking bomb. Her face began to turn a deep shade of red that clashed with her blonde hair. She looked around the empty courtyard as if she was checking for witnesses and she looked like she wanted to be anywhere else.
“You’re so loud” she muttered while her voice was shaking. “Do you ever stop talking? It is actually a medical mystery how much you can talk about nothing”
“It is not nothing” Len said. “I mean it. I am not going to give up on you”
Neru stood up from the bench so suddenly that she almost tripped over her own feet. She stomped over to him and snatched the bag out of his hand with enough force to rip the tissue paper inside.
“Fine!” she shouted. “I will take the stupid chocolates! Are you happy now? Will you finally stop following me around like a lost dog if I just take them?”
Len blinked and his heart skipped a beat. He felt like he was close to something big. “Does this mean you like me back?”
Neru looked like she wanted to melt into the pavement. She squeezed the bag against her chest and glared at him with watery eyes.
“It means that I am tired of you spending all your lunch money on things I do not even ask for” she snapped. “It is basically a waste of resources. If I do not accept these then you will just keep buying them and that is bad for the environment or something. I am doing this for the planet, Len. Not for you”
“But you are holding them really close to your heart” Len pointed out.
“I am protecting the structural integrity of the box!” she yelled, though her face was getting even redder. “Do not make me repeat myself! It is charity work! I am a very charitable person and I am just doing my part to help the less fortunate people like you!”
Len felt a massive grin spreading across his face. He knew her well enough to know that was the most honest confession he was ever going to get.
“So we are dating now?” he asked.
“We are... entering a trial period so you stop being a nuisance!” she barked while turning around to hide her smile. “It is for my own mental health! If I have to see you moping around one more time I will actually go crazy so I am just doing this to save my own sanity!”
‘She’s too embarrassed to say it back’ Len thought.
He stepped closer to her. The air between them felt different now. It was not the heavy, sad feeling from the rooftop. It was warm and full of hope. Neru did not back away this time. She stayed right where she was, even though she was still scowling at his chin.
“Thank you, Neru” he said softly.
“Whatever” she whispered.
Len leaned in slowly. He could see the way her eyelashes fluttered and the way she was holding her breath. He moved his hands toward her waist, and for a second, it felt like the entire world had stopped moving. Neru started to lean in too, her eyes closing halfway as she reached out to grab the front of his jacket.
“Hey! The bus is leaving!”
Rin’s voice exploded from the school doors, followed by the sound of Nero yelling at her to stop being so loud. The moment shattered instantly. Neru jumped back and shoved the chocolate bag into her own school bag.
“Go away!” she barked while turning around to hide her face. “I will text you later! O-Only to tell you how bad the chocolate is!”
Len watched her run toward the gate. He felt like he was floating.
Len : See you tomorrow?
He sent the text and watched her check her phone as she ran. He saw her shoulders shake in a way that looked like a laugh.
Neru : shut up
Len smiled. It was the best Valentine’s Day ever.
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Bonus Story : Immediately After
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Neru slammed the front door behind her and leaned against it for a second. She was breathing fast and her heart was still doing that annoying drum solo against her ribs. She reached into her bag and pulled out the yellow gift bag, staring at the slightly crushed tissue paper with a look that was way too soft for her usual reputation.
She heard a loud, judgmental snort from the living room.
“You look like you just won the lottery” Nero said. He was sitting on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and playing a game on his phone. “Or like you finally lost your last brain cell. One of the two… maybe even both”
“Shut up, Nero” Neru snapped while she quickly shoved the bag behind her back. “I am just tired because I had to walk home. It’s hot outside”
“It’s ten (fifty) degrees outside, Neru… and also rainy” Nero said while looking at her over the top of his phone. “And you’re smiling. It’s creepy. Stop it”
“I am not smiling!” she yelled while she stomped toward the stairs.
“Right. And I am the king of England” Nero muttered. He stood up and followed her to the hallway. “So did you actually take the chocolates? Or did the blonde pest finally give up?”
Neru stopped at the bottom of the stairs and gripped the railing. “I took them. It was a pity thing. I told you already that I felt bad for him because he is so pathetic”
Nero rolled his eyes so hard it looked like it hurt. “A pity thing? Is that why you have that shoebox under your bed full of every single letter he has ever written you? I saw it when I was looking for my charger last week. You even kept the empty wrapper from that granola bar he gave you in tenth grade”
Neru turned around and her face was bright red. “You went through my room? I am going to kill you! And those are... they are evidence! I am keeping them in case I need to file a restraining order!”
“You have been saying that for years” Nero pointed out. “So what now? Am I going to have to see his stupid face at our house every weekend? Because I’m telling you now that I am not sharing the TV with him”
“Len is not that bad!” Neru shouted. “He is actually very nice and he is always respectful to you even though you are a total jerk to him for no reason!”
Nero arched an eyebrow and a slow, mean smirk spread across his face. “Oh? He is nice and respectful now? I thought he was a loud-mouthed annoyance who didn’t know when to quit”
Neru bit her lip and looked away. “He is still annoying. He is the most annoying person I have ever met. But that doesn’t mean he isn’t nice”
“You are so down bad” Nero laughed.
“You’re one to talk!” Neru shot back. “You literally turn into a puddle the second Rin walks into the room! I saw you holding her purse at the mall last weekend and you were smiling like a total dork! Do not act like you are the cool one in this family!”
Nero’s smirk vanished and his face turned the exact same shade of red as his sister’s. “That is different! Rin is... she’s special! And I was not smiling! I had a cramp in my face!”
“Sure you did!” Neru yelled as she ran up the stairs. “Have fun with your face cramps, Nero!”
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Bonus Story : Post-Graduation
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A few months had passed since graduation and everything felt different now that they were college students. Neru sat in front of the vanity in her small apartment while humming a song. She was wearing a dress that was actually a little bit colorful and she was taking her time with her hair. She felt light and happy… and she had a spark in her eyes that hadn’t been there during high school.
“You are glowing” Haku said from the doorway. She was leaning there with a glass of wine and a knowing smile. “It’s actually a little nauseating, Neru. I missed the days when you were a cloud of doom”
Neru paused with her hairbrush in mid-air. Usually she would have snapped something mean, but she just looked at herself in the mirror and smiled.
“I am just excited for dinner” Neru said. “The place we are going to has really good pasta”
“It isn’t the pasta that has you like this, Neru” Haku teased. “It’s that blonde boy who is picking you up. You seem uncharacteristically cheerful. Could it be that THE cold-hearted Neru actually loves someone?” Haku asked with a mocking gasp.
“Yeah…” she said softly. “I do. He makes everything feel less stressful. I didn’t think I would like being around someone so much, but he is... he’s the polar opposite of me. He’s kind, bubbly, cheerful... it feels weird that we are dating, but I guess they say ‘opposites attract’ for a reason”
Haku blinked, looking surprised by the lack of a defensive shout. “Wow. You really have gone soft. I guess I owe Rin five dollars”
Across town, Len was pacing around his bedroom and checking his reflection every thirty seconds. He was wearing a nice button-down shirt that Rin had forced him to buy and he was trying to make sure his shoes weren’t scuffed.
The door kicked open and Rin marched in, followed closely by a very reluctant looking Nero.
“Stop pacing!” Rin commanded. “You’re going to wear a hole in the rug and mom will be mad!”
“I’m just nervous” Len admitted. “It’s our first real date since we moved to different campuses. What if things are different now?”
Nero snorted and leaned against the dresser. “You’ve been dating my sister for months and you’re still shaking like a leaf in fall. It’s honestly giving me secondhand embarrassment, Kagamine”
Rin jabbed Nero in the ribs with her elbow. “Oh please! You were literally sweating through your shirt when you picked me up for the movies last night! You’re still nervous around me and we have been together way longer!”
Nero coughed and looked away. “I was not sweating. It was… humid in the car”
‘Yesh… I guess bad excuses run in the family’ was the exact thought Rin and Len shared, though did not speak out loud.
Rin ignored him and walked over to Len, grabbing his shoulders and giving him a firm shake. “You’re going to be fine! You are Len Kagamine! You wore her down over seven years, a thirty minute drive to her apartment is nothing! Just be yourself and she will be happy”
“Thanks Rin” Len said with a laugh.
He picked up his phone and checked the time. It was almost six. He took a deep breath and typed out a message.
Len : I’m heading out now! Are you ready to be picked up?
He waited for a few seconds and then his phone buzzed.
Neru : I have been ready for twenty minutes. Do not be late or I am leaving without you
Len grinned and grabbed his keys. He knew that was her way of saying she was excited too.