Archive of Our Own ^beta

I was nervous. That alone was bad enough. I didn't get nervous. But of all people, I was nervous because of Sayaka.

Sayaka.

Since the day we’d met- hell, since before we’d even met, I hadn’t been able to get her out of my mind. At first, I’d tried to tell myself that I just felt sorry for her, but I was way past lying to myself these days. All I could think about was her. Her hair, her eyes, her smile, her laugh… She pissed me off every day, and I loved it.

I loved… I loved her. Not that I’d ever told her. 

But today was special. I’d invited her out, and I did it the normal way - no telepathy through her bedroom window or anything! A date!

Sure, I hadn’t called it one at the time, but I’d implied it pretty heavily. You didn’t just invite a regular friend to go ice-skating, right? 

And I had a plan to go with it. Sayaka was cool and handsome, but she was also an idiot. I’d seen her trip on a carpeted floor, There was no way she’d be able to stay upright on slippery ice. And when she fell… I’d be there to catch her, looking so damn fine she’d fall for me in a heartbeat.

I'd even dressed up for the occasion. It wasn't easy, scraping together the cash for a new outfit! I'd had to beg Mami for snack money eleven times, and then not spend any of it to supplement my funds. Plus I’d spent a whole day wandering around the local malls and shopping centres to build my look. I hadn't been to the arcade in so long now that my high scores were probably at risk.

But it was worth it.

I had a new hoodie. It was huge and loose, with thick, soft fabric that wasn’t waterproof and let the snow settle right on it, but made up for it by feeling like a warm blanket wrapped around me. It was wine red with a pink diamond pattern running across the midline, and best of all - the drawstrings for the hood and cuffs had honest to god bobbles on them. Fluffy white ones that bounced around as I walked. Underneath that I had a thin cream-coloured jumper with a turtleneck collar that poked up from under the hoodie, and a woolen tights under my shorts. I finished the look off with a pair of nice boots, shorter at the ankle than my usual ones and black. 

All in all, I couldn’t wear any of this shit on a hunt, but every now and again… It felt kinda nice to be all soft.

I'd even styled my hair. Well, a bit. I was still rocking the ponytail, obviously, but I'd neatened things up - fixed my bangs, put some product in, tucked some little tufts in front of my ears - I was really going for ‘playful and fluffy’ today, instead of my usual ‘wild and free’.

The longer I stood here, though, the more playfulness I was losing.

What if Sayaka doesn’t like it??

Well then, she’d be stupid. 

What if she doesn’t wanna come ice skating?

Then she wouldn’t have agreed! Obviously.

What if she agreed to be nice but spending time with me doesn’t mean the same to her as spending time with her does to me?

I shook my head vigorously to clear the thoughts. I didn’t need shit like this, Sakura Kyouko didn’t get caught up in self-doubt and hesitation!

But that’s what she did to me. 

With a sigh I looked over toward the entrance. There was a food stall nearby. I could snag myself a hotdog or something, if Sayaka was gonna keep me waiting. There was a pretty big queue over there though, and…

Hold on, those were two extremely familiar faces over there, weaving past the crowd surrounding the stall. Bushy, bright pink hair up in twintails, a long black do - Madoka and Homura?

There was no way they were here by chance. Madoka would have told us if she’d planned to go here, for a start. Maybe Homura took her here as a surprise?

Madoka saw me and waved, a huge smile shining out of her face. She was wearing a pastel pink layered coat with lace and ruffles, with a matching hat and mittens. Comparatively, Homura looked like her shadow. Her outfit wasn’t anything special - especially compared to Madoka’s (and mine) - but she did have a big, round satchel hanging off her shoulder that looked kinda weird. She wasn’t normally the type to wear bags like those, she preferred a big dorky backpack that could carry everything she needed. 

“Hiya Kyouko-chan!” Madoka said brightly, once we were close enough to speak. I tried to give her my signature toothy grin, but I couldn’t keep the confusion off my face. 

“Sakura Kyouko.” Homura greeted me curtly. She kept it real. I respected that. 

“H-hey… Wait, what are you doing here?” I asked Homura, who ran her hand through her hair dramatically in response. 

“You tell me, Sakura Kyouko.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ah- Sayaka-chan invited us, Kyouko-chan!” Madoka chipped in brightly. 

What. 

“Huh? why-” I stammered, trying to process the information. 

“Because you forgot to, I guess?” Another voice, behind me. A boisterous, teasing voice that set my heart racing.

Surrounded, I whipped around, taking a step backwards.

There she was. Miki Sayaka.

My weakness. 

Of course she looked cool, strutting over to us with her hands in her pockets and a grin on her face. She was wearing jeans and a navy-blue bomber jacket, accessorised with a white beanie. It wasn’t anything super special, it wasn’t anything crazy fancy. But she looked so… sharp. 

But for once, so did I! I had bobbles on! 

“Sayaka!” I said, sounding weirdly eager.

“Hey, Kyouko-chan!” She smiled. “Aren’t you glad I thought to ask the others?”

No, I’m not!! 

Before I could respond though, she scooted past me with a grin on her face.

“Woah, Madoka! Super-cute outfit!” Sayaka said, running over to her and scooping her up into a tight hug.

“Sayaka-chan, stop!” Madoka giggled.

“See? Cute as a button!” Just can’t help myself!” Sayaka laughed, releasing her.

I opened my mouth. What about my outfit? I wanted to ask. Madoka’s cute? What about me? Where’s my hug?

Shame burned its way across from my cheeks to the tips of my ears. I couldn’t just ask her. She had to say it herself, or it wouldn’t mean anything! 

“Sakura Kyouko, could you please keep Sayaka on a tighter leash?” Homura asked. Her voice was expressionless, but there was a vein bulging on her head that looked fit to burst. “She’s messed up Madoka’s hair.”

Before I could respond, Sayaka snorted with laughter. “Keep me on a leash, Transfer Student? She’s the stray dog, if anything I should have her on a leash! Right Kyouko?”

I huffed. “Nah, Homura’s right. You’re the one who-”

“Woah, your face is the same colour as your hair, Kyouko!” Sayaka laughed, cutting across me and touching my burning cheek. “You cold or something?”

“I-I don’t get cold, idiot!” I turned away to escape her prodding finger. 

My plan was in pieces. I stuffed my hand into my pocket, tearing open my packet of emergency pocky with practiced precision. 

Crunching on a few sticks calmed me down enough to try and re-work the plan. 

Okay, Sayaka didn’t call me cute and I didn’t get to say ‘you look pretty good too, I guess’... But I still have step two!

“How long has it been since we last skated, Sayaka-chan?” Madoka asked brightly. 

Wait, what? She’s skated before?

“Oh man, it must have been years now! We were just little kids then!”

What? Wait-

“But I did spend a couple years playing for the local Ice Hockey team, remember?”

Wait wait wait, what??

“Oh yeah! You looked so cool in that team uniform, Sayaka-chan!” 

I mean, duh, but-

“But I guess I’m still gonna be pretty rusty!” Sayaka laughed, hands on her hips. “Gotta be on my toes though, I don’t wanna get shown up by Kyouko-chan and the Transfer Student!”

I stuffed two sticks of panic pocky into my mouth.

“That won’t be necessary, Miki Sayaka.” Homura said bluntly. “I’ve never skated before, on account of my heart condition. Kaname Madoka will be teaching me.”

“I’m not much of a teacher though…” Madoka said, giggling nervously. 

“Hey, maybe I could give you some tips-” Sayaka began to offer.

“Absolutely not.” Homura said firmly.

“Ha! Didn’t think so. What about you, Kyouko? Are you any good?”

I’d never skated in my life. 

“‘Course I am! It’s just slipping about on the ice.” I bluffed with absolute confidence, folding my arms. I couldn’t back down now. Besides, what was the big deal? Loads of people skate, how hard could it possibly be? It’s not like swimming, where you had to constantly fight not to drown-

But wait- if Sayaka had invited Madoka and Homura, there was no way she wouldn’t have-

“Ah, everyone’s already here! You weren’t waiting long, were you?” A gentle, cultured voice rang out like a bell from my right.

Rats.

Tomoe Mami swept onto the scene, stylish, elegant, gingham-patterned and fur-trimmed, ready to ruin my whole plan without even knowing. 

“Mami-san!” Madoka and Sayaka exclaimed in unison. 

“Hey, Mami-san.” I said weakly.

“Tomoe Mami.” Homura said with a small nod.

“I’m so delighted you invited me along! It’s such a luxury to do something so carefree with our time, wouldn’t you say?”

I jammed another pocky-stick into my mouth. 

Okay this isn’t a total loss. I just need to get Sayaka on her own, right? Homura’s gonna be all over Madoka so I don’t need to worry about her, so I just gotta…

The prospect of sabotaging Mami crossed my mind, but I banished it quickly. I still had too much to live for.

“Alright!! Now everyone’s here, let's rent us some skates!!” Sayaka cheered with all her boisterous charm, wrapping one arm around Madoka’s shoulders and the other around mine. 

Without even thinking, I squirmed out of her grasp.

Why did I even do that? It was nice having her arm around me…

“Ah, you girls go ahead. I brought my own.” Mami replied, hefting the dufflebag hanging off her shoulder. 

“Do you ice-skate a lot, Mami-san?” Madoka asked politely. Internally, I groaned.

“Oh, not so much these days. It's nothing special, but I was the under-twelves regional figure-skating champion, before I became a Magical Girl.” Mami spoke with infuriating modesty, withdrawing a pair of meticulously polished white skates.

“Mami-san, you’re incredible!” Sayaka said, stars in her eyes. 

I gagged. I hated when she looked at other people like that.

“C’mon, stupid. Wanna stand here all day?” I asked, grabbing Sayaka by the collar of her jacket and walking toward the skate rental.

“Gah-! Quit it, I’m coming, I’m coming!” She squawked, arms flailing. 

Served her right for ignoring me.

As soon as we arrived at the rental, there was another problem.

“Wait, what do you mean I gotta pay for skates and time on the rink?” I moaned, dismayed. I dragged my tatty old leather wallet out of my pocket, scraping out the insides for any extra change.

I was missing three hundred yen.

“Didn’t you check this place out online before you suggested it?” Homura asked, paying for herself and Madoka, despite her quiet protestations. 

“Where do you think I’m putting a computer, Homura? I live in a hotel.” I shot back. 

“Let me guess, you want me to spot you this time, right Kyouko?” Sayaka asked, playfully punching my shoulder.

I glanced back to Madoka, thanking Homura profusely for her ‘chivalry’, and for the briefest moment I felt a pang of jealousy. Not that I wanted to be taken care of like that. If Sayaka babied me I’d kill her. Obviously.

“You don’t gotta put it that way…” I grumbled. “But I’m short three hundred.”

Sayaka handed me the money. “Alright, Kyouko-chan. But remember that I’m not made of money!”

“Well, sorry for spending your parents’ cash!” I said sarcastically. Did she have any idea how hard it was for me to make money?

Of course, the next indignity was that they only had one pair left in my size, and the last person to use them had foot-fungus bad enough for me to lose my appetite. Sayaka was very enthusiastic to point out that her feet were a size bigger than mine, in addition to her being a centimetre taller. 

But eventually we all had our crappy rental skates on, and struggled our way over to the rink. 

“Thank you for organising this, kyouko-chan.” Madoka said softly, gripping my sleeve. She looked up at me with such huge, wide eyes, so full of emotion.

“Uhh… No problem.” I replied, too embarrassed to admit the truth. 

The rink was big, but it was also really busy. The entire outside edge was three-deep in people skating gentle laps, while the middle was occupied by a handful of those confident enough to skate far away from the support of the wall. Every so often a big enough gap formed for someone to slip in or out.

Mami took to the ice first. Predictably, she drifted out as smooth as silk, pushing off with one foot and sliding cleanly out into the middle of the rink on one leg. Then she pirouetted around, turning to face us.

Sayaka went next - charging onto the ice like she was going into battle - typical Sayaka. It wasn’t dainty and girly like Mami, it was- well it was cool, and a bit dashing, coming to a stop next to Mami with a sweep of both feet and a spray of ice. She turned back to face us with a broad grin and a big thumbs up.

“Come on, then!” She challenged, looking right at me.

I froze. For the first time, I considered the idea that ice-skating might actually be kind of difficult. 

Taking advantage of my hesitation, Madoka eased past me and slipped shakily out onto the ice, wobbling and spreading her arms to maintain her balance. She made her way out to the middle much slower than the others had, and when she got there Mami helped her stop with a delicate gesture of her hand. 

“Uhh… You next, or me?” I said to Homura, chuckling weakly.

“Fortune favours the bold, Sakura Kyouko.” Was her cryptic response, as she pushed past me. She stepped slowly out onto the rink, sweeping a hand dramatically through her hair and- 

Her right leg slipped out from beneath her like a rocket and she toppled backwards, one arm windmilling wildly while the other grasped desperately at the waist-high wall. 

She managed to stop herself before she fell all the way down on her arse, left leg trembling with effort as it somehow found some friction against the ice.

“H-Homura-chan!” Madoka squealed in horror, while Sayaka cackled. 

“I’m perfectly fine.” Homura huffed, but she was obviously lying. She couldn’t even stand up again until Madoka came over and helped her. 

Now it was my turn.

I was really starting to think that this ‘skating’ shit might be hard.

But I had the advantage of watching the others. I’d seen Madoka and Homura, and I saw what they did wrong. 

Cautiousness and hesitation had been their mistake, I realised. You couldn’t show weakness to the ice! 

You had to go quick, or else your feet would move faster than the rest of you.

I could do this - no way would I let Sayaka show me up!

I raced forwards as quickly as the stupid skates would let me, leaping out onto the ice and-

SLAM.

I was lying on my face, arms out in front of me, sliding slowly forwards. The second I hit the ice my skates had slipped backwards and I’d gone down face-first.

“Sakura-san, that was a pretty hard landing… Are you alright?” Mami glided easily past me. I kept my eyes focussed squarely on the ice, but I could feel her pitying expression. I hated it.

“‘M fine.” I growled. 

“Woah, Kyouko-chan! That was a proper face-plant!” Sayaka laughed. She and Mami circled me like a pair of vultures. “Need a hand?”

“Obviously not.” I said, trying to sound as unfazed as possible. Everyone fell over sometimes. Even me.

I glanced back at Homura while I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees. Madoka was helping her to her feet carefully, while she hung off Madoka’s shoulders. She looked terrified, but there was a smugness to her face that infuriated me.

Why did Sayaka have to ask me if I needed help like I was an idiot??

I took a deep breath and tried to stand, throwing my arms out for balance as I got first one, then the other skate underneath me. Then, all I had to do was straighten my legs-

Both skates shot out in different directions and this time I fell backwards, landing right on my arse and barely avoiding hitting the back of my head. 

On my right, Sayaka cheered at my failure.

My blood boiled. How dare this be difficult? It’s just some dumb kid shit. There are actual kids skating laps all around me. I fight and kill Witches every day, and I can’t even stand up on some lousy ice??

“C’mon, you sure you don’t need a hand?” Sayaka offered again, hitting me with one of those smug grins of hers and extending a hand. 

She looked amazing. Effortless. My blood boiled over. I couldn’t take it.

“I’m not some little kid!” I yelled, slapping away her hand. “And I don’t need help doing stuff this dumb!”

“Ugh, suit yourself.”  She straightened up and jetted over to Mami without a second glance. 

Argh, no!! Don’t leave me alone here! That wasn’t what I meant!

Still unable to stand, I scrambled over to the wall as quickly as I could on my hands and knees - forcing the other skaters to stop or go around me.

With brute force and willpower I muscled myself up onto my feet, white-knuckling the barrier wall with my left hand.

I needed to calm down. Reset this. First rule of Witch-hunting - if you get mad, you’re gonna die. Today, Sayaka was my Witch. 

I stuffed my hand back into my pocket for the rest of my emergency supply. 

A little red box of broken sticks greeted my fingers. Crushed by my failure.

“Fuck…” I groaned aloud, earning me the glares of a couple parents skating by. I pulled out the whole box and tipped it into my open mouth. 

Time to start small. I watched as many people as I could, observing the ways they moved - the way they placed their weight on the leading foot, the shifting from side to side, the art of it.

I tried to copy them. 

My legs trembled. My whole body was tensed up like I was diving into cold water, and I gripped the wall with both hands - but I inched forward along the wall.

Push and glide… Push and glide… I’m doing it! 

I could have cheered. 

I turned my attention back to the pair dominating the rink, opening my mouth to call out to them. Mami and Sayaka, angels on the ice - my first crush… and my current one.

Mami swept backwards across the rink, pushing off with tiny flexes of her ankle, one leg held up and out almost to the back of her head. 

How the hell does she even do that?

Even over the noise of the crowd, I could hear Sayaka praising her. 

“Wow, Mami-san!! That’s so cool!”

Meanwhile, I’m barely getting by with the help of the wall. 

“Why, thank you, Miki-san!” 

“You gotta show me how you do that!”

“Of course!” 

She wasn’t even trying. That was probably the worst part. Just like I’d suspected, Mami was perfect and amazing. She had Sayaka’s undivided attention and she didn’t even want it. She just loved ice-skating that much.

This was so unfair.

Now Mami was guiding her across the ice, arms draped over my Sayaka’s shoulders, guiding her through the motions of skating backwards. Every so often they would look at me, and whisper something to each other. 

Probably laughing at how badly I suck at this.

I closed my mouth.

Sayaka wouldn’t notice me like this - wouldn’t care. 

So I had to make her notice me. Stand by her side. Take her by the hand!

Left foot, right foot… Each step was practice, confidence, courage. I may have just been a blip in a crowd at the edge of the rink, but I wasn’t gonna stay here. 

After just four minor slips, I made it around my first lap. 

I could do this. Nothing to it - just sliding around on the ice!

“Ah- Kyouko-chan, excuse us!” Madoka said, as she and Homura passed me.

Homura passed me. 

“Y-you’re doing so great, by the way!” Madoka said, looking back at me with such a sincere expression and such a cute thumbs-up that I almost didn’t resent the way she patronised me.

Almost. 

But then they were gone, and I was alone again. 

Lap two came around, and I was picking up speed. 

Lap three, and I was keeping pace with Madoka and Homura. With just a little more time, I might even be able to regain my dignity. 

Then Sayaka arrived. Out of the corner of my eye, that I definitely hadn’t been using to spy on her, I watched her make one last comment to Mami and split off from her, nonchalantly merging with the crowd next to me. She looked like she was born to soar over the ice. 

“Heeey, Kyouko-chan~” She called in a sing-song voice. “You almost done warming up? We didn’t pay enough to skate all day!”

“Go do one! I’m trying my best over here!” I replied without thinking, concentrating too hard on not embarrassing myself in front of her. 

But Sayaka just laughed, immune to my venom. “You’re not gonna get any better if you don’t give yourself space to move!”

When I didn’t answer right away, she reached out and grabbed the outstretched hand I was using to keep my balance. “C’mere, you!” 

She took my hand. Just took it like it was nothing. How could she do that?

Even through her gloves, I could feel the warmth of her hand, the firmness of her grip…

“Wh-wha?”

Then she surged backwards with both legs, hauling me out of obscurity in the kiddie lane and out into the open.

She grinned at me while I struggled to keep my balance, and my heart fluttered. She glowed like the sun. 

Then she let go, leaving me stranded out in the open.

“When my dad taught me to skate, back when I was little, he said that the best way to learn something scary is just to jump in!” She said, hands on her hips and just out of reach. 

I wobbled in place, feeling the eyes of everyone around me. 

I didn’t like getting stared at.

“Well then your dad's an arsehole!” I hissed, trying to stay on my feet.

“Says you! All you’ve done since we got here is complain! Homura sucks at this too, and you don't see her throwing a tantrum, do you?”

Sayaka pointed to the other side of the rink, where Madoka and Homura were clearly visible. 

Homura was tightly clutching Madoka’s arm with her right hand, legs shaking, barely staying upright as Madoka pushed them both along at a snail's pace. Her left hand was stuffed into that satchel of hers.

As I watched, Homura stumbled, released her grip on Madoka’s hand, and- and flickered. Then she was back on her feet, hanging onto Madoka again. The only difference was that her hair was looking a lot less tidy now. 

Oblivious, Madoka fixed her with one of her sunshine-smiles.

She's not complaining cos she's actually getting what she wants!! And she’s cheating! 

But I couldn't say it. How could I? How could I just tell Sayaka that all of this was just to be close to her, when she had the audacity to invite everyone else here and then laugh at all my fuckups?

“Oh, you wanna see a tantrum?” I asked, summoning the last of my willpower and skating toward her. Sayaka scooted backwards a little, but I followed. First my left, then a shaky right - I was doing it! 

“Hey, you're doing it!!” Sayaka cheered, astonished. 

“Damn right I am!” I replied, swooping toward her. “Now I'm gonna kick your ass!”

“Ha! Only if you catch me!”

Sayaka darted away, and I gave chase. It was perfect. The dark clouds parted and clear blue short-haired skies were ahead of me. This was what I'd wanted! This was how it was supposed to be! Sayaka’s eyes were on me! She was grinning, teasing, egging me on! And me? I was in my element, a hunter after her prey. I couldn't keep the grin off my face. I was weightless. I was invincible. I was-

My left foot didn’t come down right, and instead of pushing off from it I toppled over. I tried to correct and pushed way too hard with my right skate as I fell, hurling myself forward. Sayaka wasn’t ready for my sudden burst of speed and I slammed straight into her, tipping her over backwards. She grabbed me by the waist as she fell, dragging me down with her. My knee hit the ground first with a spike of pain, then Sayaka went down and I landed on top of her.  

Falling over this many times was exhausting. My knee ached with the impact, and all sorts of muscles I wasn't used to using had been straining to keep me upright this whole time. For a moment I lay still, contemplating just how I’d managed to fuck this whole thing up so badly. 

Beneath me Sayaka groaned, finally releasing her grip on my waist. Reluctantly, I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees - and paused.

Sayaka was lying beneath me. Dazed, but not really hurt. Her hat had come off when she fell, unleashing that gorgeous mane of soft, sky-blue hair out onto the ice. 

In contrast, her face burned bright red, and her eyes locked with mine.

Her face. I was so close to her. I couldn’t guess the distance. I couldn’t think. All I could do was look at those soulful blue eyes, like staring into the sea, and think about how perfectly those lips of hers might fit against mine…

My face burned too. My hair fell about my shoulders and over hers, shielding us from the outside world like a veil.

Not that the world mattered. I might have fucked up every single thing today, but right now - right now I had all I ever wanted.

I leaned closer.

“W-woah, Kyouko-chan…” Sayaka breathed, her voice shaky and small. “Y-you gonna… Kiss me or something?”

“I-I…” I stammered, my confidence evaporating.

“Hehe, just kidding!” Sayaka said, but she still sounded strange. Awkward. 

I hurled myself away from her. Or at least, I tried to. I completely forgot I was wearing skates, so I just flopped backwards on the ice, into the ring of people skating laps. 

The kid barrelling my way didn’t have time to react, tripping straight over me.

In the chaos, commotion and the tangle of limbs, Mami drew in, looking as concerned for my wellbeing as ever.

I snapped. Finally, finally I made some progress with this stupid skating shit, finally made it away from the wall, finally Sayaka starts treating me like I matter and then I tackle her to the floor and pussy out when I get the perfect opportunity to steal a kiss? And then she turns it into a big joke?

I can’t get a single fucking win today!

“Watch where you're going, you little shit!!” I yelled, swiping at the kid even though I knew it was my fault.

My knee throbbed as I put weight on it, but I pushed myself up anyway.

“Woah, hey, Kyouko-chan - you good? It was just a joke.”

“Nah, I’m done with this.” I said bluntly, staggering over to the exit. Couldn’t even leave with dignity. 

“Kyouko, wait-” Sayaka started, but I shot my hand out to silence her.

“Well, maybe we can call it a day…” Mami said delicately. “We’ve used most of the hour already.”

I wanted to scream. Now everyone was rearranging their schedule just for me? Can’t I just suck in peace? 

“Just have fun without me! I'm hungry anyway.”

I took a clunky step toward the food stand before I remembered that I didn’t have a single yen to my name.

I took a deep breath. Guess it was time to leave. 

Somewhere behind, I could hear Madoka’s disappointed little voice as Mami explained to her that we were finishing up early. I tried to ignore it as I dumped my smelly skates back at the rental, getting my own special boots that I’d been so proud of an hour ago in return.

Homura approached me as I pulled my boots back on, looming over me like a dark cloud.

“Your childish squabbling with Miki Sayaka has ruined Madoka’s skating experience, you know.” Her expression was mildly more stormy than usual. 

So it's one of those days where everyone is pushing my buttons, huh?

I opened my mouth to inform Homura exactly what I thought of Madoka’s skating experience, but fortunately the little pink gumdrop in question cut in.

“A-ah, it’s quite alright, Homura-chan… I actually had a lot of fun, even if we ended a little early…”

Homura blinked.

“Mm. My apologies. If that’s the case, then I thank you for an enjoyable afternoon, Sakura Kyouko.”

“Whatever.” I snapped. As soon as my laces were tied, I was out of there. I didn’t need the disappointment, and they didn’t need my attitude.

Don’t think I made it five metres before she stopped me.

“Hey! Where are you going in such a hurry?” She interrogated, grabbing my arm.

I rounded on her. “Oh, you noticed me now?” It was just us here. My heart ached almost as much as my knee.

“Jeez, what’s your damage?”

“I dunno, maybe you should ask Mami?”

Sayaka flinched like I’d poked her in the face.

“Is that what your problem is?”

“I invited you out here, and you spent the whole time hanging off her arm!”

Sayaka flushed scarlet. “And what’s wrong with that? She was teaching me to skate better!”

What was wrong with that? What was wrong with that?

“Argh!” I yelled.

I’m not good with words. And when I run out of words, I get physical. And if I got rough with Sayaka now, I might lose my chance with her forever. 

I had to get out. I had to get away.

I spun on my heel and stormed off, walking in a random direction. 

“Kyou- hey, Kyouko-chan! Where the hell are you going?” Sayaka ranted behind me, but I kept my head down and sped up. I had to get away. Calm down. Today was a total loss, but I could at least try not to ruin the rest of my life.

I marched down the street, too pissed off to look at where I was going. I marched and marched, quick as I could without running, until the ache in my leg got bad enough and the fire in my chest got cool enough that I stopped. 

My brand new wool tights had ripped, and my knee had a graze that had bled a little

Fucking fantastic. 

I took another deep breath, watching it coil around me in the cold air. Looked around to get my bearings. Nothing was familiar. Which way was the ice rink, again? How long had I even been walking?

I’d run away from Sayaka. After finally getting her alone. After doing nothing but yell at her the whole time. What was wrong with me?

“Ugh, Kyouko-chan!” 

Sayaka?? I whirled around to see her coming up behind me, out of breath. 

“Could you slow down? Skating took a lot out of me!”

“I-I never told you to follow me!” Argh! Why the hell did I say that?

“Is that really all you’re gonna say? You abandoned our friends back there! You ran off on me, after you planned this whole thing!”

Internally I writhed in agony. How could she always say the exact things to piss me off the most?

But… She was here. She’d come all this way. Ditched our friends, like I had. Followed me, ‘cos she cared about me. Even though I’d yelled at her and told her to leave me alone.

Just like I had for her, once.

“...Ugh, I’m cold.” I sulked, jamming my hands deeper into my pockets. Wish I could have bought gloves, too.

“What are you, a kid? I can’t change the weather.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“Where are we, anyway?” She asked, stepping a bit closer and looking around. 

“No idea. Aren’t you the local?”

Sayaka rolled her eyes. “It’s a big city. Give me a minute, at least.”

She frowned down a street to our left.

“Hey, actually… I think there’s a cafe nearby.”

“So?” 

“Wanna go? We could get hot chocolate.”

“...” I didn’t answer straight away. I couldn’t just-

“My treat?”

The warmth hit me like a cosy blanket as soon as I stepped inside. Sayaka pushed the door open for me like some kinda chivalrous prince, but I let her get away with it this time. She was buying me hot chocolate, after all.

“You wanna find us a table? I’ll get us something.”

“Uh, you sure? I’ve got-”

“Trust me, Kyouko - I’ll handle your order.”

I forced myself to trust her. 

“...Okay.”

The cafe was warm, both to look at and in temperature. It was all rich browns and oranges and creams, choc-a-bloc with wood panelling and decorations and all sorts of shit else besides.

It looked… like a good spot for a date.

I snaked my way through a dozen chatting couples toward a miraculously available table by the window, sitting myself down and finally taking the weight off my bad knee. 

I unzipped my jacket and let it slouch off my shoulders, trying my best to relax. My stomach growled.

At least… at least she’s here with me.

“Sayaka-chan saves the day with hot drinks!” Sayaka announced, finding me at the table. At her place she put a decorative mug down on the table, topped with foam and dusted with cocoa powder. “Here, this oughtta warm you up!”

In front of me, she placed a soup bowl with a handle, piled high with whipped cream, chocolate flakes and marshmallows.

I gasped with delight. It looked like heaven.

“S-Sayaka!” 

“Hehe, you look pretty pleased with my decision, right?”

“Yeah!”

She unzipped her jacket and hung it on the back of her chair. Underneath, she was wearing a white button-up and a blue sweater vest. So damn cute. “Super Sayaka-chan always knows-”

She paused mid-step, looking down at my leg.

“Ouch, you did a number on yourself there, huh?” She said, gesturing towards my knee.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a dumbass…” I rolled my eyes, trying to hide my injury under the table. 

“Nah, I don’t mean- c’mon, let me just…” Sayaka glanced around to make sure nobody was looking, then dropped to one knee next to the table. 

From here, it looked like she was gonna pro-

I clamped down on that thought immediately, heat prickling its way back across my face. She wouldn’t- We weren’t even-

There was a flare of warm blue light, Sayaka’s bare fingertip touched my bruised knee - and the pain melted away.

She looked up at me with such gentle, kind eyes. Like some sorta knight.

“Better?”

How was I supposed to handle that??

“H-hey! Idiot, I told you not to use magic on other people!”

Sayaka laughed. The ice that had formed around my heart started to crack.

“Whatever. I’m doing this for myself anyway. I don’t like seeing you hurting like this.”

I couldn’t say anything. Stupid, corny lines like that…

“Heh, from down here it kinda looks like I’m about to propos-”

“Oi, shove off!” I kicked her with the leg that didn’t hurt at all anymore, and she scooted over to her chair.

“Go on, dig in!” She said, pointing at my enormous hot chocolate. “You don’t wanna let it get cold, do you?”

I didn’t need asking twice. 

I picked it up with both hands, the heat from the giant mug chasing the last of the winter cold from my fingers, and brought it to my lips. 

Hot, sweet and creamy - with a tiny touch of peppermint. 

Perfection. My tasting sip turned into a hearty gulp, and I couldn’t resist a contented sigh as I set the mug down again. 

“Haha, look at you! Got a dollop of cream on your nose!” She laughed, pointing. 

I grinned, wiping some of it away with my fingertip and reaching across the table, giving Sayaka a nose-dollop of her own.

“Now we match!” I said, popping a marshmallow into my mouth.

Sayaka blinked in surprise, then started laughing again. I joined her. Her laugh was so infectious. 

“Ahh… It’s really nice to see you acting like yourself again, Kyouko.” She said once we’d calmed down.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve been so grumpy all day! I like fighting with you, but only when we’re having fun.”

“Well whose fault is that?” I asked. “I’m not the one who invited everyone else.”

Sayaka squirmed a little under the pressure of my accusation, unable to meet my gaze.

“Yeah, I… I kinda had a feeling that you were just trying to make this a ‘you and me’ thing.” 

“What?” I roared, my anger flaring back up. “You did all this on purpose?”

“Woah, keep it down!” She soothed, reaching across the table and- and stopping just short of grabbing my arm. “I just… Promise you won’t laugh at me?”

“Absolutely not.” I sulked, taking my drink and sinking back into my chair.

Sayaka sighed and rolled her eyes. “Alright. I was just… I was nervous. About doing something like that alone with you.”

“Nervous? What did you have to be nervous about?” I sneered. “You can actually skate.”

“Sure I can! But not like… well.” Sayaka replied, taking a sip. “And… Well, I’m so used to you being better than me at everything, I assumed you’d be able to.”

“Yeah, I assumed that too.”

“It was so strange and cute to see you struggle with something for once, I… couldn’t help but pick on you. A bit.”

I took a long sip of hot chocolate to hide my face. Cute? Because I messed up?

“And… I’m sorry for spending so much time with Mami.”

“I get it.” I huffed. “She’s pretty.”

“She’s gorgeous, yeah.”

“Right, she’s gorgeous.” I scowled, rolling my eyes.

“Sorry. I mean, she is, but that’s not why. She was there to help me specifically, cos I… Needed support.”

“You needed support? I needed support! I had to support myself against the wall!”

“I gave you my hand, you slapped me away!”

“That’s… Yeah, I was dumb.”

“You were. You are.” She said, but she was smiling. “But I wanted Mami there, cos… Well she knows you better than anyone else. And I wanted her to help me with you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, thinking about her comparison of me to a stray dog. 

“Cos I… When it’s just the two of us, these days I… get kinda nervous. My tongue gets all tied up, and I say stupid stuff, you know? And I keep wondering if I’m reading too much into the way you act around me.”

I paused. She was reading too much? 

I looked at her. She was smiling, but she was looking away. Nervous. There was a dusting of red on her cheeks, like the cocoa powder on her drink. For a moment my pride fell away, and I allowed myself to see from Sayaka’s perspective. 

Sayaka’s not good at confessions. She finds it hard to put her feelings into words, even if they’re so strong it hurts. 

She’s like me.

Her eyes met mine, piercing through my heart as surely as the point of her sword.

“I… Noticed your outfit, by the way.” She mumbled, hiding red cheeks behind her mug. “It’s… cute. Suits you.”

“Could have told me sooner.” I sulked. “I-I mean… You looked pretty good too.”

“And I saw that you styled your hair…”

“Well, a bit.”’

“Heh. A bit, yeah. But I… I wanted to say something when I saw you, but… you were too cute! I didn’t wanna blow it.” She scratched the back of her head awkwardly. 

“Too cute?” Nobody had ever said that about me before.

“Yeah! I just wanted to like… grab you, and shake you!” She laughed, miming picking me up by my collar and shaking me. “I didn’t know what to do with all that energy, so I just worked it out of my system with Madoka.”

“Well, she is adorable. Like a lil teddy-bear.”

“She’s cute. But not like you.”

My heart melted. 

I slumped down onto the table, looking up at Sayaka. We really were such a pair of idiots…

“You know… My hands are still kinda cold.”

“They are?? Uh, I dunno if I can buy you anything else, Kyouko-chan…”

“Dumbass.”

“Huh?”

I stretched out my arms across the table, reaching out towards her. “I’m sayin’... My hands are still cold.”

Sayaka looked down at me, a warm smile on her face, and finally we understood each other.

“You really are hopeless sometimes, huh?” She asked, her voice oh-so-tender, and took my hands in hers - weaving our fingers together on the table. 

“My… lips are kinda cold, too.” I mumbled, still lying down on the tabletop.

A stupid, goofy, crazy smile stretched across Sayaka’s face. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen.

“There’s only one cure for that, huh…?” She said, leaning down and- and doing what I wasn’t brave enough to do at the skating rink.

She was soft. So soft my heart hurt. And so warm. I could still taste the cinnamon on her lips.

It only lasted a moment, but it made every single second of frustration and upset that day worth it.

I’m bad with words. Whenever I wanna say something kind and sweet, I always say something mean instead. 

So, Sayaka… I’m glad you listen to the things I can’t say, not just the ones I can.