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A boss and agent, typical fanfiction behavior. The agent falls in love with the boss, ruins their relationship, the agent gets fired, they pine for each other. Or at least that was what always happened in the tropes, right? Except this wasn’t a trope. This was real fucking life, where you didn’t fuck around and find out unless you wanted to end up up Schitt’s creek.
Oh, and as if the world just wanted to rub salt in the wound, you and her were opposites. Complete polar opposites, couldn’t be more different if you tried. And Maria… God, Maria Hill was fucking magnetic. Sharp jawline with an even sharper tongue, and cobalt blue eyes that looked as though they held the entirety of the ocean within them. The power she held over every agent within SHIELD was palpable, and everyone knew that you stayed out of her way, did what you were told, and were punctual as a clock lest you end up in her office with that unreadable face staring you down as though you were an ant beneath her boot. The world revolved around Maria Hill, and she knew it.
You, on the other hand? Just another agent in a massive company filled with others equally (if not more) powerful and qualified to be there. It was easy to feel undermined and get lost within the hundreds of agents milling about doing their jobs in the cold steel walls of the Triskelion. You swore you never saw the same face more than twice, even at the small little cafeterias SHIELD provided. So why try? Why bother even trying to get the attention of Maria Hill, when you knew that you were bound to fail… or worse, succeed and end up demoted because she was entirely unimpressed or creeped out?
Easy question, easy answer. Because Maria Hill did something to you. Made your stomach erupt in butterflies that flapped their wings relentlessly when she was near, made your heart throb so painfully you swore you were having a heart attack, and turned your legs to jelly. Just being near her was intoxicating, like you were high on her attention and floating on an insane high you never wanted to come down from. And you didn’t even do weed or drugs!
And so commenced the plan. Heaving a longsuffering sigh, you flopped down on the dusty hotel bed and stared at the ceiling, tracing the patterns with your eyes as though they would magically give her the answers she searched for – AKA how to get Maria Hill to even so much as glance at you. Hell, even just acknowledging your existence would be nice.
The old hotel door rattled in its hinges, a firm knock shaking the flimsy wood and making the old metal doorknob click. Startled, you bolted upright, still on edge from the mission that day. Several HYDRA agents had cornered you and the team early on in the day, ambushing you and leaving you helpless until you’d somehow managed to dig your gun out and shoot one dead-on in the chest. Still shaking slightly from the adrenaline, you stood up on aching feet and padded your way over to the door, peeking through the small peephole. Foggy though the little piece of glass was, you managed to make out two forms - one significantly taller than the other with those piercing blue eyes you would recognize anywhere.
One Maria Hill and one very exhausted looking Natasha Romanoff. Slowly, you poked your head out of the door, nearly expecting to be yelled at. You did not expect to have a full 6 pack of beer shoved into your arms, nor the three other agents who trailed down the hall to join at your door. Bewildered, you blinked, staring at the entourage in front of you.
“What is this?” You asked, voice much raspier than you would have liked for having been actively in combat all day. The beer you were now apparently carrying was cold despite the holder, and you were almost tempted to take one sweating bottle out and press it to the back of your neck. Arizona weather was not for the weak. Maybe that was why HYDRA had built a base here – make it hot enough and no one would want to even venture there. Lost in the heat and your aching joints, it was Maria’s sharp voice that pulled you back to the present. It was always her, wasn’t it?
“Nat convinced me I- the team, I mean, needed to relax,” she said, leaning against the doorframe and looking at you almost appraisingly. “We did well today.” Her voice was different than usual, less clipped and straight to the point. Almost like she was trying to soften. “HYDRA scattered to the wind, and we collected all necessary data.” Here, she glanced at Natasha, then at the agents clumped together behind her that had also accompanied you on the mission. A few familiar faces: Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Piper. A bit ragtag, but considering it had been last minute, you all had worked well together.
You glanced at her, trying to not be blatantly obvious about how fucking good she looked in the SHIELD regulation suit, and then let the door swing open a little more. It creaked on its hinges and you winced at the sound, not altogether overly pleased about the loud squeak that felt as though it echoed down the whole hallway.
“Come in. It’s… not home, but make yourselves feel welcome.” You managed an exhausted smile as the five trodded inside, boots left by the door until bodies were laying on the floor or various odd pieces of furniture. Clint on one of the armchairs with Sam on the floor beside him, Maria on the arm of the other chair, and Natasha casually on top of the old wooden desk while Piper had just sprawled out on the floor. Surreal, you thought, passing out the bottles of beer that you had before putting the leftover one on the coffee table. Surreal to have Maria Hill sitting on the armrest of an old musty hotel chair, chatting with other agents as they debriefed from the mission. Sunlight pooled on the dusty floorboards, dust motes floating upwards and illuminating Maria’s sharp side profile.
Your breath nearly caught in your lungs. She was dark and rough and ragged, a knife sharpened from years of running SHIELD with Fury and learning how to wield her command like a weapon. And yet, you thought, staring at her as she tipped the beer bottle back and took a drink, that was perfect. Silent, shrewd, cunning, the parts of her past she never shared tucked deep below the surface of her thick skin. Still, despite all those defenses, some part of you wanted to take up a pick and pry away the layers until you had her bare in front of you. Not sexually (although honestly, you wouldn’t complain about that), but more vulnerable.
She cleared her throat and you jumped so violently that some beer slopped out and landed with a faint fizz on the floor, making you blush in embarrassment.
“You’re staring,” she said dryly, those eyes boring into you so deeply you swore she could read your mind.
“Oh,” you squeaked. Well. You cleared your throat, swallowing your mouthful of beer shakily, trying to ignore the bitter taste it left on your tongue. You’d never been a beer or strong alcohol kind of person, preferring wine over anything like vodka or rum. And as your eyes trailed over her figure again, you thought how different you both were: Maria, who routinely drank rum and harder liquor versus yourself who tended towards fruit juice or sweeter wines; Maria, who dressed in sharp SHIELD formal wear and was always on edge, the epitome of command; Maria Hill, who- was staring at you again.
“Y/N. Everything okay? You keep… staring,” she said, her voice trailing off as she gestured in your direction with one hand. She snapped her fingers in front of your face, blinking at you, clearly assessing your expression and body language. “Hey. Y/N.” But still, all you could think about was that if she could somehow read minds, you were fucked. “Tired? The mission was exhausting.”
You forced a laugh, thoughts spiraling. Tired? Ha, fuck no. Fantasizing about your commander? Yep. “I’m fine, just thinking about-“ Here you scrambled, struggling to find words to say that would make any coherent sense.
“-the files we found?” Oh dear god, Natasha was a lifesaver. You nodded quickly, although maybe a bit too quickly given the way Maria’s head snapped over to stare at you with an eyebrow quirked upwards.
“Mhm. The- files, yeah. The information they had in them about Red Skull could prove really vital to us later on,” you said, forcing your mind back on work only to be interrupted by an unamused Piper.
“I thought we were here to rest and recharge after today? No more talking shop.” She arched an eyebrow at the three of you, pointedly taking a sip of beer. Properly chastised, you laughed, a little sheepish. She was right after all – Maria had quite literally said that Natasha had convinced her and the team (which included you) to relax and take a break after the hellish day you’d had.
After Piper’s comment, the conversation moved on to happier topics, the mood in the room lightening as the sky outside turned hues of purple and pink while the sun slowly slid down below the horizon. It reminded you of the sunset you’d seen while in Mauritius on a mission, curled up on the silk sheets of a five star hotel alone. Laughter echoed inside the barren hotel room, filling the walls and soaking into the fibres of your bones. You genuinely couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt this happy or your brain this quiet, thoughts no longer racing as much as they usually did. You had a bad habit of getting stuck in your own brain, letting the anxiety take over until you wound up dissociating your way out of situations and could barely remember what had happened. It was like your body went on autopilot, simply moving through the motions. Even Maria had noticed once or twice on the occasional mission, flashing you a raised eyebrow and nudging you to make sure you were in the moment. And most times, weirdly enough, it worked.
The time passed in a blur, although maybe that was the alcohol. At some point, you found yourself surrounded by everyone else, some dusty never-played board game on the floor in the middle of the circle. Piper was shouting something about “betrayal” and “HOW DARE YOU TAKE ALL THE MONEY YOU MOTHERFUCKER” while Maria just sat and observed, patiently flicking through fake Monopoly money with that fucking smirk on her face. How she remained calm in the face of total chaos amazed you. Hell, even Natasha was in it, though you assumed Sam and Clint also shouting had influenced her.
Eventually, people began trickling out, the remains of snack wrappers and promises of Monopoly retaliation lingering behind like ghosts. The room was dimly lit, only a few lamps illuminating the living room area. But even still, the yellow dinginess somehow made Maria look ethereal. Maria. Why was she still here? You stared at her for a minute, wondering if she had some snide cutting comment to make or was just late in leaving, but she said nothing. Her blue eyes roamed over you, taking in every inch, as though she was analyzing you down to the very depths of your soul.
“Tired?” She asked instead, fingers tapping idly against the glass of her long-empty beer bottle. You snorted a little, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.
“After the mission today? Yeah. My body aches in places I didn’t know it could ache… oh, that sounds wrong.”
Her lips tilted upwards in amusement and you felt a thrill go through your body. Maria Hill. Smiling. Jesus Christ, that was rare.
“Does it now?” You felt your cheeks flush red, eyes dropping to the floor in embarrassment. Before you could stammer out some half-baked response, she spoke again. “It was a harsh mission. You did well, though. I’d like to have you on more. Your skills complement the teams’, and you’re a good asset.” You didn’t catch the way her voice wavered slightly on the last word, but her eyes flicked away for the briefest second before sliding back again.
“Oh,” you said quietly, unsure how to respond. Being noticed by Maria Hill wasn’t something you’d ever really thought would happen – you’d wanted it, sure, but getting it? You’d assumed that was a far cry from reality. And yet now she was talking to you; more than that, praising you for your abilities. “Thank you.” Your voice shook a tiny bit. You’d never really been all that confident in yourself, so to be told you were a good asset and a good addition to the team made you melt a little inside.
“It’s true.” Her voice was certain. “I don’t say shit I don’t mean, agent Y/N.” You felt your heart skip a beat. She never called people – much less subordinates – by their first names. The night flew by. You didn’t remember much, just the warmth of the room, Maria’s sharp blue eyes, and the way that the banter between you two seemed to twine its way into your spine and burrow into your thoughts forever.
You didn’t know when you’d fallen asleep. But sometime during the conversation, you’d felt yourself growing sleepy, trying to fight it off as best you could. Despite your best efforts, the room went blurry, Maria’s eyes staying fixed on you even as your eyelids threatened to close you off from the banter. And then you were lost, head nodding against your chest while she stayed perched in her chair, finger circling the rim of her beer glass, observing. Quiet as ever, mind racing a million miles a minute, though you had no idea of knowing that. It was silent for a long time, just the faint trickle of moonlight through the threadbare curtains and Maria’s soft breathing as her eyes slid over your prone form. She looked weirdly conflicted, those normally stoic blue eyes tempered by a hint of softness and some other unnameable emotion. Time passed in a haze after that, hours slipping by like liquid from a broken whiskey glass until it soaked into the floor beneath it.
The next time Maria looked at the clock, it was 2 am, the hotel hallway outside had faded into silence, and the lights had dimmed. Still, you were asleep in the same chair, empty bottle sitting on the floor next to you and a hand curled loosely into the fabric of your thin tank top. The old air conditioner rattled lightly, as though it was telling Maria to sleep too. She didn’t listen. She just stared, eyes closing as she took a breath in to try and compose herself. Then, before she could overthink it, she was standing up, sliding strong arms underneath your body, and lifting you up. She shook her head affectionately, a wry smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. You never did take care of yourself, she thought. Never ate enough, always buried yourself in work until you collapsed, didn’t even have a proper sleep schedule for Christ’s sake. The earliest you slept most nights was 12 am. How the fuck had you survived as an agent for this long if all you did was neglect yourself and your own needs?
She set you down on the hotel bed, grimacing as she watched your eyelids flutter and your brows crease in wakefulness. She hadn’t wanted for you to wake up. Not because it would mean she’d been caught in the act (or so she told herself), but because she wanted you to get rest for at least once in your life. Not that she herself was any better; hell, Maria could barely remember the last time she’d had a good night’s sleep without waking up from nightmares or anxiety 24/7.
Silent as a mouse, she stood back, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling washing through her as she pulled the blanket up over your body. She wasn’t accustomed to affection, much less giving it. But tonight she’d crossed every single boundary she had set in place, and she didn’t know why. There was something about you that made her reservations disappear. Maybe it was because you’d never betrayed her, always shown her a part of you that was real and genuine and didn’t shy away from what you wanted. Maybe it was because, like her, you were stubborn and petty, unafraid to hold a grudge against someone that had wronged you. Or maybe it was because you were opposites and yet so similar at the same time. Whatever the reason, there was some undeniable pull that she couldn’t deny, something that drew her to you. She went to bed that night in the same shitty ass hotel, a couple of rooms over, and tried to ignore how her thoughts were spiraling around you. And she definitely didn’t think about the note she’d written before leaving. The note that said, however curtly, that read in her sharp handwriting, Sleep well. You’ll need it for tomorrow. Long flight back. You did well today. Keep it up. - MH
The next morning dawned with weak sunlight on your face, searing into your eyes and highlighting exactly how much dust was in this godforsaken hotel, coating every single available space that looked like it hadn’t been properly cleaned in at least 2 years. You blinked awake with a groan, trying valiantly to clear your eyes of sleep before looking around and surveying where you were. Bed. Which was odd, considering the last thing you remembered was falling asleep on an ancient rickety chair, head resting at an awkward angle with Maria Hill across from you nursing a beer slowly. The memory was shrouded in a golden haze, fuzzy and soft, and you swallowed hard. Now was not the time for sappy romantic thoughts. A quick glance at the clock confirmed your suspicions - 8 am in the morning, and you were supposed to all convene in the hotel lobby at precisely 8:15. 15 minutes to shower, throw on your uniform, brush teeth, and grab the essentials. Sure.
Swinging your legs out of bed and tossing the comforter back, you barely were aware enough to take notice of the thin sheet of paper that fluttered to the ground by your bare feet. With a stifled yawn, you bent down and retrieved it, fingers clumsy with sleep. The moment you laid eyes on the contents, though, all traces of tiredness dissipated from your brain, leaving you alert and aware. The sharp handwriting, the gentle yet curt words, the initials… something in your chest gave a pleasant squeeze, warmth working its way up into your throat and making your lips tug upwards. Maria Hill had tucked you into bed. Maria Hill had written you a note telling you you’d done well, and to get some sleep.
The rest of your morning routine was done in a daze. A quick shower, teeth brushed, a dash of concealer, and clothes were tossed on in a rush. It took more than 15 minutes, but still, some part of you thrived on being late. The adrenaline, or maybe it was the fact that your whole entire life you’d been forced to be on time to every event. You grabbed your luggage, phone, and wallet, and headed out, joining the rest of the team in the lobby where half of them were already scattered around eating shitty hotel breakfast. It took you .5 seconds to notice Maria… or rather, she already had noticed you and was walking over.
“You’re late,” she said crisply, but there was no disapproval in her voice or her eyes. Instead, she just seemed indifferent, which shocked you.
“My alarm didn’t go off,” you admitted sheepishly, casting your gaze to the floor.
“I see. Well, there’s food here if you want any.” Her expression turned wry. “Although, it may be poisoned. The eggs are rubbery and the cream cheese smells like it’s been left out for at least three weeks.”
You shook your head, a flush rising to your cheeks. “In that case, I’ll pass. But maybe I could go for some coffee, even if it’s watery?” Risky move. Fuck, very risky move, especially with how Maria’s eyes narrowed slightly, as though she was assessing you and the stupid words that had just left your mouth. The silence stretched for a long moment before she broke it, her lips turning up into something resembling a smile.
“Coffee it is.” She led the way over to the row of coffee makers, handing you a capsule and popping her own into the machine quickly. You both stood there for a minute, the silence interrupted only by the hiss and drip of coffee into the old cracked ceramic cups, your eyes meeting hers before quickly darting away. Your cheeks were red, you could feel it, a lump of adrenaline rising in your throat as you watched those clear blue eyes track your movements with a burning intensity. It felt as if Maria was scanning you, your skin prickling everywhere her gaze dragged over. Your own eyes dropped to the countertop as if you could slow time, silently willing the cup to fill both faster and to never stop. The way that she stared at you, cataloguing your every move, felt intimate and intense in a way you’d never felt before, like she could see to the very core of your being.
The coffee maker beeped. With shaky hands, you lifted the cup to your mouth, taking a sip and pretending that the liquid didn’t burn your mouth. You swallowed hard, Maria’s gaze still fixed on you. She looked away only when her own cup finished, and the loss of her attention felt like a slap to the cheek, or a splash of cold water to your face. It didn’t take long for her to get your attention on her again, though, her voice cutting through the internal spiral you were currently plunging down headfirst.
“Hey.” She snapped her fingers once. “There’s an empty spot a couple tables down. Everyone else has wandered off to who knows where. They’ll catch up in ten.” Oh. Oh fuck. Whether or not it was intentional, you were going to sit down and have coffee with Maria Hill. Watered down weak coffee in a run down hotel in Arizona… but the concept still stood. You followed her on legs of jelly to an empty table, sitting down maybe a little more heavily than you intended, coffee clutched tightly in your hand with a lid you only barely remembered putting on.
“The Helicarrier leaves at 9,” she said briskly, and your heart sank a little. You didn’t want to talk shop, not this morning, not after whatever that moment had been a couple seconds ago. You swallowed the words back and instead just nodded, acting perfectly normal. “Did you get any sleep?” She asked, and you exhaled quietly, grateful that the conversation had shifted.
“Surprisingly,” you replied with a grin. “Although Ill admit I was surprised to have woken up in my bed when I remember falling asleep in a very uncomfortable chair.”
Her expression twisted, something undefinable and softer flashing in those familiar eyes. “Far be it from me to let you sleep in an uncomfortable position,” she said after a second. “Sleeping poorly never leads to anything good.” She swallowed and your eyes tracked the movement. “I’m glad you slept well. The hotels that SHIELD assigns us are never fancy, I find it hard to get rest most nights.”
“You’re not the only one,” you said sheepishly. “This one has been the worst in a couple months, everything covered in a thin layer of dust.” You snorted, pointing to the table, and dragged your cup along the wood where it left a trail of clean wood, parting the dust. “Case in point.” Maris barked out a sharp laugh and you felt your heart flip, cheeks heating immediately as she pinned you down with her gaze.
“At least you’re not the only person who’s noticed the dust problem. I was beginning to think I was delusional.” Her lips twisted up. “I showered and was immediately covered in dust before I even finished drying my hair.” Her words made you swallow hard, your mind suddenly flooded with images of Maria in several… very inappropriate situations, most of which included a shower and her hair slicked down and clinging to her neck and shoulders. Fuck. No. Get a grip.
“I swear I’m finding dust in crevices that dust shouldn’t be in,” you snorted, forcing yourself to speak and then immediately regretting it. “Fuck, no, not like that, I just meant like-“ you groaned, then looked up and immediately felt any embarrassment fade away when you noticed how soft her blue eyes had gone. You never saw her like this, the armor always up and keeping her away from people no matter how close they tried to get.
“I know what you meant,” she said, and then the armor was back up. You missed it immediately. “My clothes have been covered in sand and dust since the mission yesterday. I’ll finally relax when every part of me isn’t being irritated by tiny grains of sand and when my nose isn’t being plagued by dust mites. I’ll let Fury debrief everyone else, and then shower immediately after.”
The rest of the conversation went remarkably well, barely any talk about work unless it was necessary. It was… normal. Calm, even, just two women talking to each other even if one woman checked out the other slightly more than she should have. You were almost sad when both of your coffees had been drained. Almost. But the way those blue eyes had bored holes into you while you’d talked made up for it… and so did the hand on your shoulder that sent sparks through your body as you both stopped in front of the elevator doors to head back up and retrieve the other team members,
“Wait.” She said, and you swore you’d imagined the brief look of vulnerability on her face. “I enjoyed this. Coffee. Even if it was in a hotel.” Your heart skipped a beat and you stared at her, sure you were dreaming. “Would you… be up to doing this again? Once we’re back. Dinner. Not at a hotel this time, but at a proper restaurant. With good food and lighting.”
“Yes.” Your voice shook and you almost tripped over the words, tongue feeling heavy. “I- yes, I would love that. I-“ You could barely comprehend what you were saying, could only think about how close she was to you and how intense her eyes were and the way she kept licking her lips and-
Like clockwork, the elevator dinged, the moment broken. Dazedly, you stepped in, Maria after you, and you were left keenly aware of the very tight space. The elevator creaked and groaned as it dragged you both up the floors, but you couldn’t bring yourself to even care about it. Not with her hand still on your arm, though it had migrated to loosely holding your elbow and those same bright blue eyes staring into you. The breath seemed to leave your lungs in a sharp rush, all words failing you as your gaze flicked from her lips and back up again. The intensity with which she was looking at you would have melted you if you weren’t so preoccupied with the faint shine on her lips and the pressure of her hand on your body. The space between both of you was minute by now, and you barely even remembered her moving closer and closer until you could feel her breath on your mouth in warm puffs,
You glanced upwards and almost immediately felt rooted to the spot, watching dark irises track from your mouth to your eyes. No words were exchanged between you, just heat and breathlessness and then your lips were on hers and it felt like you were exploding. Nothing existed but her taste. Bitter coffee and something sharp and almost sweet but not quite. Your senses overloaded, soft lips against yours and you exhaled gently, not sure if you were dreaming or just hallucinating. Her hand drifted up, cupping your jaw and you felt like passing away, but instead ended up just shifting so the angle was more comfortable.
Then you pulled away, lungs aching for breath, left staring up at this woman who had sufficiently turned your world upside down. “Did you mean t-“ was all you got out before Maria was smirking down at you, something amused dancing in her gaze.
“Yes,” she said simply. “Yes, I did. Now stop thinking so much.” And then her lips were on yours again and you melted into it without so much as another word.