Chapter Text
Till's career had left many things up to chance. Coincidence, dumb luck; according to his mother, the stars. Hard work helped, and Till hadn't believed that he sucked per se, but the industry was a masquerade ball full of uncontrollable influences, and maybe he wasn't adequate for that part. In fact, when his bandmate had once even proposed the idea of following a trend just for the sake of publicity and appeasing their agents, he and Ivan had nearly disbanded.
Authenticity made music. Everything else was cheaply copying someone else's style. Why bother creating something that already exists? If he had an audience, he wanted to find people who actually valued his art and weren't just consumers of it.
Perhaps he was prideful and stoic in that regard. He'd made peace with staying an underground indie band if it meant continuing to stand by his values. Screw Ivan if he disagreed.
What he hadn't made peace with was, well, the opposite. With how many people actually loved and cared about their art. He loved that, of course, but he had never even dreamt of it. Not even when Ivan had sent him that tweet.
BuzzFeed @buzzfeed • 4 hrs ago
The Top Ten hottest up and coming bands that will make you want to jump and dance, or start a riot. The first one will blow your mind!
🔗 https://www.buzzfee…
679 comments 1.3k retweets 76k likes
[14:45] Thought you should see this. ;)
It had been years since then. Till had just mentally prepared himself to be mad at Ivan for another one of his idiotic yet genius stunts, but now he just furrowed his brows, opening the link and scrolling through the bands with a nervous anticipation he hadn't had felt since opening the acceptance letter from his preferred university.
Sweet Clematis, Rebellion, NPC (a band Till found as generic as their name promised, so why the fuck was it so high up?), and in first place—Unknown Sorrow.
He blinked, a long exhale emptied his lungs. Blow your mind, huh? He thought, and deep in his chest a feeling had buried itself, driven by the heavy beating of his heart. Suddenly, everything made sense. All was worth it. Every sleepless night spent working hard, every time he and Ivan fought and Till cursed him under his breath for seemingly just not getting it.
Maybe his mother—and Ivan, too—had had a point every time they told him to wish on a shooting star.
No matter what, the stars will guide you forward, his mother had told him ever since he was a child, but until this moment, Till had never been superstitious. Ivan always told him to believe in it, but he could never tell if he was fucking with his best friend or if he genuinely believed in the power of the stars.
Every time Till had asked him, he'd brushed it off with well, we're going to be stars! The juvenile grin he wore each time was always enough to cause Till to roll his eyes… fondly, but Ivan never needed to know that.
More moments passed, and only when his cheeks stopped aching from his smile did he manage to read the text underneath.
-
Unknown Sorrow
An independent band finding recent success through member TILL's collaboration with singer Luka that caused other collaborations between he and IVAN to be brought back into discussion. But even without the blond popstar as a backup singer, the chemistry between guitarist TILL and lead singer IVAN is undeniable. With screams and melodic notes combined, they create a heartfelt sound that make you want to sing along while also having great songs to crash-out to. Their song Black Sorrow with IVAN on vocals and TILL in his element on the guitar is currently in the TOP 10 most listened songs in Korea and the US! If that doesn't allure you, then maybe the undeniable sexual tension and the flaming hot looks of the members will! ;)
[attached was a video of their performance in a pub in downtown Seoul where they got a bit too close for comfort—the crowd, full of fujos, erupted in cheers]
damn. [15:28]
Till replied, because he was at a loss for words. Well. He'd thought so, but his fingers moved anyway.
do we really look that gay to people? [15:33]
However that was relevant, he thought. Sometimes Till's brain was more Ivan-esque than he ever wanted to admit.
[15:34] pretty sure it's just called fanservice.
Fanservice… He had to chuckle. Next they knew, there would be fan edits of them with songs by Sweet Clematis or something.
See how they looked at each other? IVAN is yearning sooooo badly!
Haha, as if! Urgh, the stars had been kind enough to Till for a lifetime, he had to be a bit realistic.
Opening Twitter, had as always been a mistake, but he read some of the replies anyway.
rye ★ || live in you like paratise @natchu… • 4hrs ago
replying to: @buzzfeed
THE WAY IVAN GRABS TILL FROM BEHIND HERE????? HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS CLIP BEFORE????
[attached is a clip from the video linked in the article]
67 comments 3k retweets 10k likes
☆ myk || (to be inside your heart) @caco… • 3hrs ago
replying to: @buzzfeed & @natchuuki
I crashed out about this clip ten times in your dms!!! You fake fan!!
3 comments 1 retweets 10 likes
A bitter chuckle had escaped his lips. Evidence, the people called it. Delusions was what he had named it many years prior.
He had been about to scroll more, get stuck in more delusions, when the main character of just those appeared brightly smiling on his screen.
"Ivan?" He took the call. "You read the article?"
"Yeah. Seems like the public likes us. Your tactic worked."
"It wasn't a tactic! I just did what I wanted to do with… us… the band!" Till groaned, and Ivan had chuckled.
"And now the people are shipping us!"
Ivan paused. "If only they knew…" It was a whisper, almost. Something barely picked up by the phone. It held a weight Till didn't want to dwell on.
"Shipping? Like fanmail? Or…. to where?" Till wasn't exactly chronically offline, he just… ignored most of what was going on. Sometimes he posted a video of him playing the guitar on a private account to get some feedback from friends, but mostly he just posted promo on his main.
Ivan was a different story—which he showed by bellowing laughter coming through the speaker.
In fact, he had laughed so wholeheartedly that Till had thought he was thrown back into their school days had words not cut through the laughter. "No, it's derived from the word relationship."
"I thought it was about shipping mail and boats or something," Till mumbled, and Ivan was wheezing, probably the doubling over and tears in his eyes type of way. Till had to roll his eyes… perhaps a little endeared by it. So what if he was smirking, that was completely normal. He was just being an indulgent senior.
"Hold on…" He continued guffawing like a dying horse. "They're convinced we're in relationship. Or at least a very homoerotic friendship!"
"Wait, what? What are you talking about? Can't it do serious damage to just assume people are in relationships? We're not!"
"As I said, fanservice. It's nothing deep. Personally, I do find it incredibly interesting how well our chemistry seems to shine through, though. See it as a compliment and stay away from Tumblr and AO3."
"AO—what?"
"You're so old!"
"Hey!"
Ivan sighed, finally composed again. "Don't worry your pretty head about it. I have other news." The smile was so adamant in his voice, Till was able to imagine his face clearly. With small wrinkles around his eyes and a deeply amused twinkle of mischief in them. "I got a call from Hyuna."
"What?" Till sat up straighter. "What'd she want? Does Luka want to collab again?"
"Nope." His lips made the "P" pop. There was something in his voice. Something proud. It was almost invisible, but Till well, he just knew. "It's about our band. She is apparently honoured to give us an opportunity over a shared dinner on Friday night."
"Do you know anything more?" Till stood up straight now. Maybe it was a good idea to stupidly wish on every shooting star back when they stargazed in highschool.
"Maybe you should check the emails for once." Ivan's words had no bite, but Till let out a heavy breath anyway.
"You're annoying, you know that?"
"You love me."
Maybe so. But Ivan didn't need to know that.
♪×♥×♪
Unknown Sorrow @unknownsorrow • 19 hrs ago
Soon! Unknown Sorrow's 4th tour!
This time right at your doorstep. 🌍
From 22nd July 20XX to 13th February 20XX worldwide!
Get tickets now under:
🔗https://www.tickets-uknwnsrrw…
[attached is the tour poster, this time tinted in lots of red and blue, that has all the dates on them]
1k comments 15k retweets 345k likes
Sometimes Till looks back on it; on all the things he had subconsciously always thanked the stars for. Still does, occasionally. But standing here now, soon four tours in, everything feels a bit more earned—not luck, just hard work and a dream.
And of course he is grateful for it. He can get up and do what he loves without worrying about how to pay the bills, and every time he looks at the announcements on their account, he sees people excited for it. The horizon is so much bigger now. It's different than when they played in small pubs that barely covered their study fees. Nobody knew their names back then. It was all about raw sound and stage-presence.
That had been a hard work in itself, but it felt more official now, with all those meetings and interviews—especially the interviews. Till has gotten older, but he still hasn't grown into the role. He is just more tired of them nowadays.
Not to misunderstand, he is a professional! A full-on pro at the interview game! He simply does not like them, okay? He is not good at the whole talking to an audience and pretending he has nothing better to do thing. At least not like Ivan.
Ivan, the bane of his existence. The love of his life. His partner…
That guy's awesome at it. He'd always been born for the spotlight. After all, he was supposed to take over his father's business one day… before he followed Till to ANAKT instead of one of the SKY universities.
All it took was one of those smiles. Those where he would laugh politely yet unrestrained and bloom into who he was. IVAN is Ivan, not a concept, not a role—not the way Till had seen him playing growing up. No, every interview was true; there wasn't a pristine smile carved into his face like he was porcelain, there is no pressure on his shoulders. He isn't bound by an NDA, he is bound by prior conversations alone—and if he fucks up (which, honestly, rarely fucking happens), then it is how it is.
Okay, maybe Till gets pissed at him for revealing a song title too fucking early, but that's just their dynamic by now. It holds no weight in the grand scheme of things.
What does is every time Till apologises for lashing out, when he tells Ivan that he shouldn't have said those things, who in turn says that he is "kinda into it". While Till's eyes will always roll in annoyance at that, Ivan always has that glint deep in his eyes—mischief. Some things never changed, and so neither did Till. Sometimes Ivan might even do it on purpose, and he will have their whole lives to figure that out once—
"Till?" Hyuna calls out, and he is reminded of the fact that he is in a meeting.
"Yes, I agree with everything you said. Let's move on." It's a miracle that he sounds convincing, even though he has no idea what he has just agreed to, but it will be fine. It's always the same shit anyway.
"Awesome! You'll have to get to your hotel a day earlier for the first interview but that won't be a problem, right?"
Huh?
"Of course it won't be!" Ivan's voice is sickly sweet. A big smile shows off his snaggle tooth. He is… acting terrifically weird… "We have everything packed anyway. Will it be in the hotel room?"
Hyuna flashes him a thumbs up. "That's to be decided! But it might be a good idea to make the interviews follow you through all stages between arriving, performing and the aftermath of it! As for the rest, Mizi and Sua will come over soon so you can organise their opening gig."
Panic sets deep into Till's bones. What is happening? Has he been caught in his plans? Is… Hyuna trying to intervene with the proposal? Try to make it a big thing? Their relationship isn't even public! Ivan is heterosexual to the rest of the world!
Suddenly, the small box hidden in his sock drawer feels like a meteorite burning its way through the wooden material, just waiting to be discovered and exploding like a bomb! Burning everything they've built over the years…
"Alright, thanks!" Till says, swiftly. Just to say, well, something.
At 30 years of age, Till does not have his life together as much as he should have. Or, well, maybe his career just makes that impossible. And Ivan has certainly never made it easier.
Hyuna packs up and goes for the door, and Till gives her about two seconds after it closes again—he doesn't want Ivan to notice anything with those perceptive obsidian eyes of his that always stare right into his soul—before he jumps up and excuses himself for the toilet, scraping his chair over the red felt floor.
"Hyuna!" He whisper-shouts after the door shuts with a loud thud behind him. "Hyuna, about the interviews!"
She stops in her tracks, but doesn't turn around. "What… about them?" Her voice is steady, a little hesitant, but maybe she is exhausted. He sure is, which is why he zoned out in the first place. Okay, and because of imagining something that will happen… soon.
"I… Have you figured out that I, uh, want to propose to Ivan? I want to do that more privately, so what's up with the sudden influx of interviews throughout the tour?" He can't help but fiddle with his fingers. He is nervous. Of course he is! And the lack of his morning coffee does not help! He has long since accepted that he isn't the nonchalant senior he always tried pretending to be throughout high school!
Hyuna mumbles something Till doesn't understand, then she turns around with a chuckle and waves him off. Dismissively, almost. "Ohhh, good luck with that! But no, BuzzFeed, TeenVogue, and all these people just want to have a piece of you while you're there! And Ivan said it'd be good for your publicity, so he told me to arrange something! Have you zoned out again?"
Oh? Relief floods him instantly. Ivan is just being the opportunist that he's always been again. Perfect. Well, makes it harder, but he will manage it!
"Maybe…" He sighs. "Anyway, thank you. Have fun with Luka."
"How do you—"
But Till already closes the door to their conference room again.
Close call…
He had talked to Luka earlier about everything. The guy just knows Ivan—second best to Till, maybe third best, but Mizi and Ivan always have a certain degree of misunderstandings—and it's nice to get a second opinion when he can't ask the guy he usually asks for it. Also, he is in the industry and in a public relationship with Hyuna, so… he knows the consequences that Till doesn't wanna think about.
"Is… everything okay?" Ivan asks, looking up at him with wide eyes. He resembles a dog with the way his head hangs a little sideways while he studies Till.
"Yes… Uh, yes. I just… I needed to go to the bathroom real quick, as I said." Usually, he hates lying to Ivan. It's what brought them to be so distant to each other over and over again. But this is a white lie, and it's a necessary one at that! "I just looked at the interview plan, why are there so many?"
Ivan's brows furrow slightly, before he just looks down at the plan on the glass table in front of them. "It's our first ever world tour. The magazines just want more content of us while we're there. We really are famous, Till. Can you believe it?" A smile dances on his lips again, prior traces of concern completely gone. It's innocent, like back when they were teenagers and Ivan had watched Till play guitar. Ivan had beamed when he agreed to playing together.
"Not really, no," Till replies. Because he can't. It's weird. He doesn't feel different, but people on the streets nowadays ask him questions. Generic ones like "Can I have a photo?" (Sure…) Or deeply personal ones, like "Are you and IVAN fucking?" (No?). Well, yes, but fuck you for asking!
That last one was heavily debated on Twitter, if he can trust Ivan, who has a far bigger habit of diving into their "fandom"—one that had dubbed themselves the shooting stars after a scene in the music video of their song Cure.
Till's still unsure whether Ivan has an undercover Twitter account or not. He wouldn't put it past him to spend his free time defending Till's honour. And if that made the guitarist feel anything particularly warm and his fingers twitch to create an account himself, well, then that was between him and the butterflies in his stomach.
He'd cuss anyone out who'd dare speculate about Ivan or worse. It was his choice what to say online, and Ivan is, despite everything, a private person! He'd do anything to give him the possibility of keeping it that way.
It takes Ivan humming to break him out memory lane. "We can always publish a very shitty album and call it art, if you want to lose fans." He chuckles and takes the paper straw of his Coke between his lips.
Till rolls his eyes playfully. "I never said I hated it—"
"—It just comes with a certain responsibility. Yes, you said so before, and you handle it very well. You always told me that I should focus on what I love, remember?"
"Yes!" Till lets out an exaggerated groan. "And you focused on me for the rest of the week when what I really meant was screw your excuse of a father and to chase your own dreams!"
"And you still didn't understand that I was madly in love with you!"
Till smiles. "Well, I couldn't quite believe in it!" In hindsight, it was stupid, how long it took them to get their fucking act together, but they were both idiots with fathers who hated the son of his business partner.
Ivan stands up, and Till finds himself wrapped into an embrace in one beat of their hearts. One he never wants to get out of because of how cosy Ivan is dressed casually in the prototype of their new merchandise. Full marks from Till, but only Ivan can wear it. Profit? Who cares!
And then someone clears their throat behind them.
"Gross," Sua mutters, which earns her a shove from Mizi.
"Let's just be happy for them!" Mizi admonishes lightheartedly.
"Yeah, you know how bad you were back in the day?" Ivan is being ever provocative. But that was just Sua and Ivan. "You know, all awww, you're the love of my life!"
"Because Mizi and I had the brains to figure it out." As if to prove a point she pulls a very flustered Mizi closer to her side. It's a sudden assertiveness that amuses Ivan, Till knows. "Not like you two who kissed and got jealous of each other multiple times without understanding that, newsflash, you're both gay!"
"Till is bi, actually—" Ivan grins.
"Let's talk about the tour, shall we?" Mizi says after a beat of silence, that she probably used to catch her breath from being flush against the love of her life, passes them by.
"Sounds like an idea," Till agrees, if only to keep the bickering unrelated siblings from ending up rage-baiting each other (mostly Ivan… Till had to admit) to death.
It'll go well, he tells himself. Like he used to tell Ivan when they were younger and Till still had some sort of authority over the overgrown puppy.
But for now, the tour was more important.