Archive of Our Own

(they've never spoken about it.)

wooyoung considers himself very lucky to have so many people in his life that he cares for deeply, and to be cared for by so many people. even in his darkest moments, he always knows he is loved. he has a lot of love to give and he gives it freely, can't fathom any other way of living.

sometimes he doesn't know what to do with all the love he receives back, though.

(love begets love, even if it isn't always a direct exchange.)

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, i like your lips... what else can they do?

wooyoung:
roses are red, violets are blue, tonight let's see what your hands can do

he's not sure how to categorise it, where to put it, how to reconcile it with his own feelings, and sometimes it eats him up inside.

most of the time, he just chooses not to think about it. sometimes, he caan't avoid doing so.

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, i've got some handcuffs - just for you

wooyoung:
roses are red, violets are blue, i think you're illegal - let me arrest you

'who're you messaging?' san asks, and wooyoung puts his phone face down on the table.

'no one,' he says quickly, and san raises his eyebrow.

'uh huh,' he says, 'that was super convincing.'

wooyoung grimaces a little.

'why are being so secretive about it?' san says with a little laugh, reaching across the table for some snacks.

'it's nothing,' wooyoung says, 'it's... it's just yunho.'

san looks bemused at the idea of wooyoung trying to hide that from him - and he's justified, really, not being privy to the inner turmoil of wooyoung's thoughts.

'sending each other valentine's messages?' san teases, and wooyoung hates that he can feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

'no,' he says. he gnaws at his lip, feeling bad for lying. 'well, yes, but... not really. like it's not... for real, it's not real. we're just joking around.'

'are you,' san says, sounding way too smarmy to have believed it.

'we're just joking around.' wooyoung would like to say he doesn't know why he's still explaining, but even he's not that oblivious to himself. 'like - exchanging those silly roses are red poems? 'cause they're funny.'

'oh?' san sounds genuinely interested. 'like?'

as if on cue, wooyoung's phone buzzes.

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, tie me up, i trust you

'aw,' san says, 'i think that's almost more cute than funny.'

'no,' wooyoung says, blustery, 'that's - an anomaly, he's talking about tying me up - joking - joking about tying me up, it's funny. like - okay, this is more like it.' he taps at his phone before showing it to san triumphantly.

wooyoung:
roses are red, violets are blue, let's do something your neighbours will hear too

'yeah, i imagine with the two of you involved, his neighbours hear a lot,' san laughs, leaning back on the couch, and something twists inside wooyoung.

'only when we're playing video games,' he says, and pauses. 'or talking about something we're excited about. nothing- nothing sexual.'

'yet,' san says carelessly, and the knot in wooyoung's stomach twists tighter.

'ever,' he insists, and san looks taken aback at the vehemence.

'seems very final,' he says, and the doubtfulness heavy in his voice breaks something inside of wooyoung.

'san-' he stops, wondering if he can even get the words out.

san looks at him expectantly, guileless.

'if you don't want me to joke about it, i won't,' he offers in a voice so sincere wooyoung almost wants to cry. he looks down at his phone for a momentary distraction, just to try alleviate the lump choking him.

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, you can use the safe word, but i know you don't want to

wooyoung:
roses are red, daisies are white, the harder you fuck me, the harder i'll bite

'you know i love you, right?' wooyoung says once he's settled himself and san blinks at him owlishly. 'you're my person, my other half, my soulmate. you're forever, for me, i can't imagine life without you. you are one of the most important people in my life, up there with my family. you are a part of my heart, and i think you might be one of the best people to have ever existed.'

san's face is a flurry of expressions, moving between pride, and gratefulness, confusion and amusement.

wooyoung swallows. fights to keep his voice from cracking.

'and with all of that said... i don't know why i'm not in love with you.'

san's face clears and softens.

'oh,' he says, quiet and gentle, 'okay.'

'i thought i was, for a bit,' wooyoung says, 'i don't know if that's cruel to say, but i did. and then...'

he can't bring himself to say it.

'you met yunho.'

so san says it for him, a testament to how well he knows wooyoung.

'i've never wanted to assume,' wooyoung starts, needing to get it all out now that he's opened the gates, 'and i may just be embarrassing myself here in the most narcissistic way possible, but... sometimes you look at me, or say something...'

'yeah,' san says with a laugh, still achingly gentle, 'yeah, i imagine i do.'

'at the risk of making an utter fool of myself,' wooyoung says wryly, 'are you...?'

san hums lightly as he considers it.

'no,' he says thoughtfully, and wooyoung perks up a little. 'i think i am in love with you. i think i will always be in love with you.' he looks back at wooyoung and the devasation must be very evident in his face, because san breaks into a laugh. 'god, smile, why don't you?'

'i would happily stay single for the rest of my life if it meant not hurting you,' wooyoung tells him, and his eyes crinkle in reponse.

'and i would never want you to do that,' he tells wooyoung firmly. 'this isn't a sad conversation, wooyoung. it's like you said, you're my forever valentine, right? i'm in love with you, and for some people, that means something else, i think? but for me, it's just... kind of woven into the tapestry of how i love you. i don't feel like it precludes me from being in love with anyone else, if that's what you're worried about. i'm not... pining for you. all i want is for you to be happy.'

wooyoung isn't quite sure what to say.

san nods at his phone with a grin. 'don't you have a poem to reply to?'

'now?' is all wooyoung can manage and san laughs.

'come on. you can't leave him hanging. what did he say?'

yunho:
roses are red, violets are thrilling, you're the sweetest fantasy, and i'm more than willing

wooyoung:
roses are red, violets are blue, let's break every rule we know, and a few more too

'how many do you have locked and loaded, ready to go?' san asks as wooyoung hits send.

'he's inspirational, what can i say?' wooyoung says, barely a trace of humour able to creep back into his voice just yet.

'you know, it's not quite the same, obviously, but yunho's also very important to me,' san says conversationally, 'and i know that maybe it doesn't make sense to you, but even if i do classify what i feel for you as being in love, the idea of you and yunho being together, and falling in love, and exploring and discovering being in love together, and building your life together, and getting to watch that love story unfold - that makes me so happy my heart could burst.'

wooyoung looks at the joy on san's face and can't help but fully believe him.

'what are you?' he says with a helpless laugh and san shrugs.

'i think i'm just a hopeless romantic, really,' he says and wooyoung laughs in a way that feels like he's crying. san smiles at him fondly. 'wooyoung... have you not made a move on yunho because of me?'

'well,' wooyoung says, 'that was... it's not the only reason.'

'no?' san sounds genuinely confused.

'so, i haven't made a real move, right?' wooyoung explains and san nods. 'well... i've made more concrete moves than he has.'

san's forehead creases.

'he just plays along with me really well.'

'so you see how i look at you, but not how he looks at you?' san asks and wooyoung crinkles his nose.

'he looks at everyone like that,' wooyoung replies.

san doesn't look convinced.

'maybe,' he allows, 'but... it's different with you.'

wooyoung shakes his head.

he never started this conversation with san to get permission to cross the line he and yunho have been dancing on. he did it because every time he didn't tell san about the butterflies yunho gave him it felt like lying, like a betrayal, and he couldn't stomach it anymore.

and maybe it had gotten to the point where he wanted to talk to his best friend about it.

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, i'm using my hand, but thinking of you

wooyoung:
roses are red, don't get it twisted - bend over, honey, you're about to get fisted

'you should go to him tonight,' san says.

'no,' wooyoung says immediately. 'it's valentines day, that's our day, we made a pact. besides, he's probably got plans with mingi.'

if he's seen how yunho looks at anyone, it's how he looks at mingi. how mingi looks at him.

'no,' san says, 'mingi's with yeosang.'

wooyoung blinks at san, caught off guard.

'what?' he says, 'wait, why... why do you know this and i don't?'

san gives a sheepish half shrug. 'well. i wasn't holding myself back from pursuing other... things.'

wooyoung squints at him. 'how does that relate to - you're here.'

'yeah, we made a pact,' san says with a laugh. 'but if you left early, maybe i was going to... you know... head over their way? maybe?'

wooyoung gapes. 'choi san,' he says stridently, 'have you been keeping secrets from me?'

san laughs. 'no,' he assures him, 'no, there's no secrets to be kept... yet.'

'yet?!' wooyoung yelps.

'it's still tentative,' san explains, 'you'll be the first to know if and how it moves out of that stage.'

wooyoung huffs a little, still processing.

'anyway,' san says, 'that's all to say mingi's... not an obstacle for you to consider.'

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, you bring the body, i got the lube

wooyoung:
roses are red, daisies are white, i'm going to straddle you and fuck you all night

'you should make good on that,' san suggests, looking at wooyoung's phone while using wooyoung as a ballast.

'he hasn't shown any indication that he's not just matching my energy,' wooyoung protests. san looks unconvinced.

'agree to disagree,' san says, 'or to look at it another way, he has been matching your energy, like, exactly.'

wooyoung's doubt must show on his face, because san's face softens again.

'you love loudly,' he tells wooyoung, 'and openly, and easily. yunho... is a bit more guarded with his heart. the core of it, anyway. ex-roommate insights,' he adds at wooyoung's sceptism. 'he could be struggling to read you just as much as you're struggling to read him.'

'that's a big leap,' wooyoung says.

the thing with having a lot of love to give is that he's always scared that what he will get in return is hurt.

yunho:
roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six and i'll be the nine

wooyoung:
roses are red, violets are blue, come closer, i've got something for you

'can you say for sure he doesn't mean what he's sending you?' san asks.

'even if he does, there's a big difference between wanting to fool around and-' wooyoung cuts himself off.

san smiles. 'it's really serious for you, isn't it?'

wooyoung shrugs. bullies san over so he can curl into his side again, happy to find he's not plagued by guilt when he does it anymore.

amazing what a difference talking about something can make.

'probably,' he says, 'yeah. i try not to think about it too much.'

'you should,' san tells him, 'i really think you'd be pleasantly surprised.'

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, your body's a temple, let me worship you

wooyoung:
roses are red, violets are blue, i want to feel every part of you

'it's a big risk,' wooyoung murmurs. san's answering snort does not sound sympathetic.

'yeah, because those read casual, and joking.'

wooyoung stares off into the distance.

ultimately, san has always been good at convincing him of anything.

'you really think i should do something?' he asks, looking up to see san smiling down at him, eyes crinkled happily.

'yeah,' he says, 'i really do.'

yunho:
roses are red, violets are blue, can't stop thinking of what i'd do to you

wooyoung:
are you at home?

yunho:
?
yeah?

wooyoung:
ok

'damn, no explanation or anything,' san laughs and wooyoung pushes himself up.

'in case i chicken out,' he says, voice smaller than usual and san tugs at his wrist to get him to look at him.

'hey,' he says, 'i'll admit i may be biased, but i don't know how anyone could not be in love with you. it's like death, or taxes - inevitable.'

wooyoung laughs despite himself. 'you're so lame.'

san grins. 'yeah. i'm also going to walk you to his door so you don't chicken out.'

'what? no, that wasn't the deal,' wooyoung protests.

'was for me,' san says, going to shrug on his coat. 'come on. i think i know a florist that's still open.'

'florist?' wooyoung squawks, 'no, i'm not getting him flowers.'

'it's valentine's day,' san insists, shaking wooyoung's coat at him. 'you can't show up empty handed.'

'yes, i can,' wooyoung insists, 'and i will.'

'the cu down the block has those heart shaped valentine's ferrero rocher boxes,' san continues, undeterred. 'come on.'

💕

yunho looks a little mystified when he opens his door, but mostly happy to see him, wooyoung is glad to note.

'hi,' yunho says with laughing lilt. 'wasn't expecting you to come over.'

'i can go,' wooyoung immediately offers.

'what? no,' yunho says, reaching out as if to stop him. 'no, that's not what i meant at all. i'm glad you here. i just- i thought you had plans with san.'

'he did,' san says, poking his head into view.

'oh!' yunho says, 'hi. it's... both of you. okay.'

'no, it's not,' san says with a sunny grin, 'i'm not staying.'

'okay?' yunho is looking more bewildered by the second.

'these are for you,' san says, shoving a yellow bouquet and a heart shaped box of chocolates into yunho's hands. 'they're from him.'

'no, they're not,' wooyoung whines, burying his face in his hands.

'yes, they are,' san replies, unfazed.

there's a pause before yunho lets out a helpless laugh. 'thanks? i'm not sure what's happening.'

'happy valentine's day,' san says. wooyoung barely has a moment to shoot him a glare before san is pushing him into yunho and closing the door behind them with a cheery 'bye!'

wooyoung yelps as he stumbles into yunho, who - of course - steadies him.

wooyoung can feel the plastic around the flowers scratching against his neck and yunho holds him. he groans and buries his face in yunho's conveniently located chest. he can feel when yunho laughs, and his arms wrap fully around wooyoung.

'are you supposed to be my valentine's day gift?' he asks, amused, and the question sends heat simmering through wooyoung.

'that's what the flowers and chocolates are for,' he says into yunho's shirt.

'but you said they aren't from you,' yunho says genially, 'i don't want them if they're not from you.'

wooyoung gathers his courage to peer up at yunho.

'and if they are?'

yunho gives him a winning smile.

'then, thank you.'

wooyoung allows his tongue to peek just a little bit from his mouth, pressing against his top teeth. 'would you still want me as your valentine's gift?'

yunho eyes widen slightly and something flashes in his eyes.

'are you on offer?'

wooyoung takes a deep breath. 'would you want me just for valentine's day? or for keeps.'

yunho stares down at him and he waits with bated breath for an interminable heartbeat until he feels yunho fiddling behind his back, a now free hand coming to brush against wooyoung's jaw.

'how could i ever want you for only one day?' he breathes.

wooyoung can feel the grin unfurling on his face.'for keeps, then?' he asks, his confidence coming back, and yunho laughs in the face of it.

'for keeps,' he agrees.

and then they're kissing, lips colliding as they both move at the same time, wooyoung's hands winding around yunho's neck as he tries to get as close as he can. he revels in it, knows that now he's had a taste, he's never going to want to stop. their friends are going to be so sick of them, he can already tell.

it's far too soon when yunho breaks away.

'wait, wait,' he gasps and wooyoung gives him a wounded look.

'what? why? what? we can talk later.' wooyoung's already trying to reach his lips again.

yunho laughs and gives him a quick kiss before pulling back again.

'you're still wearing your coat and shoes, and my hands are full, that's all,' he explains with a giddy grin.

'oh,' wooyoung says, and thinks about yunho might be able to do with both hands free. 'right.'

'wouldn't want to crush the flowers,' yunho says with a wink, pulling the bouquet out. he eyes the few crumpled blossoms at the edge of the bouquet. 'any more,' he amends, and wooyoung laughs.

yunho lingers a moment, touching wooyoung's neck for a second as if he can barely believe he's there, before tearing himself away to find a receptacle (a mug) to put the flowers in.

wooyoung, meanwhile, sheds his coat, barely taking his eyes off yunho.

he still can't quite put his finger on how it's different than what he feels for san, for his other friends, his family. he doesn't think it matters, really, to be able to pinpoint the exact nuances. he just knows that his heart in dancing in his chest and he can still feel his lips against his own, and he wants more.

he pulls out his phone.

wooyoung:
roses are red, violets are blue, there is a possibility i might be maybe a little bit in love with you

'i think you got a message,' he tells yunho when he turns back to him and yunho eyes him suspiciously, moving to get his phone off the couch armrest.

wooyoung worries at his lip as yunho reads, his lips parting in a quick inhale as his eyes round.

'too much?' wooyoung asks when yunho meets his eyes again.

yunho considers it, before breaking into a smile.

'nah,' he says, 'i think we can work with that.'

wooyoung grins as the relief flood his body.

'so...' he starts, 'a lot of promises were made today.'

yunho looks confused for a moment before he glances back at his phone and his brow clears as he laughs.

'oh, is that what they were? promises?' he teases and wooyoung shrugs.

'could've been,' he says, 'or a list of ideas. either way.' he allows his eyes to trail over yunho's body. 'how many do you think we can check off tonight?'

yunho gets glint in his eyes.

'oh, is that a challenge?'

'maybe,' wooyoung says with a lascivious grin.

yunho tosses his phone carelessly onto the couch, moving towards wooyoung.

'well, then,' he murmurs, cupping wooyoung's face in his hands, 'where should we start?'