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If you had asked Dan when his little moments had started, he wouldn’t have been able to tell you. Weeks ago? Months? Never bothered him too much, so why should he care?
Sure, zoning out for several minutes at a time was never a good thing. It only happened when he sang, though. Really, it was just him getting in character. Letting the essence of Danny Y. Sexbang flow through him and come gushing out.
And as he stood in the recording booth, belting out notes and lyrics, he felt his mind go into that familiar haze. Like he was dozing. Everything became second nature.
Somewhere along the line he left the recording booth and started discussing something with Brian. Or rather blankly stared at Brian as he talked about something. Funny, he could hear his voice, but he couldn’t pick out the words. What the hell did he say?
Brian gave him a look. Dan’s stomach dropped.
Ninja Brian!
A sharp sting on Dan’s cheek cleared his head.
“Ow, what the fuck?” Dan complained, trying to rub away the pain. And he made sure to give Brian a mean stink-eye too.
“You weren’t listening.” Brian had his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed- full on professor mode. Oh, good. “In fact, you looked like you were about to pass out.”
Dan waved him off. “I’m fine. Anyway, you were saying?”
“Look, I know how you’re in love with me and want to hear every word I say, but you really need to go home and rest.”
“Dude, I’m fine,” Dan insisted, despite not really feeling fine at all. “Sure, it’s been a little bit of a long day. But I’m cool. We need to get this figured out right? So let’s do that.”
“Fine,” Brian conceded in a deadpan tone. “As I was saying…”
In all fairness, Dan tried his hardest to listen. Yet again he found himself succumbing to the fuzziness of his mind. A jumbled mess, nonsense that he couldn’t quite pick out. Brian’s mouth kept moving, though. Something felt wrong about that.
“Okay, that’s it.” Brian grabbed him by the shoulders and began to steer him out. “Go home and rest. I mean it, Danny.”
Something in the back of Dan’s mind felt wrong. He couldn’t get over it: Danny, Danny, Danny. What was so different about Brian calling him Danny this time compared to all the other times?
“Uh, yeah,” he said, still in a daze. “I’ll get tons of sleep, don’t worry.”
“Oh, I won’t.”
As the door slammed shut, Dan muttered a softasshole under his breath. He’d have to remember to thank Brian later.
Home, sweet home. At least, that’s what Dan would say if he wasn’t reeling. Buzzing noise in his head made it so hard to even think. By some divine grace he drove safely, but as soon as he stepped into the apartment, something just gave.
He fell gracelessly onto the couch, groaning as the world spun before his eyes. “Fuck…”
Going through his phone and finding Barry in his contacts was a fun challenge. If fun meant painstaking and frustrating. He managed to do it and send off a quick message asking for him to pick up some nausea medicine.
A good half hour passed before he felt like he could move without falling over. He seized the opportunity and got up, making his way to the kitchen and going through his tea making ritual.
While it steeped, he thought back to the recording session with Brian. Being out of it for most of it didn’t lend him the ability to judge how good he sounded all that well. He was supposed to get rest, but a little practice wouldn’t hurt, right?
“Girl, I’m gonna take you on a date tonight…”
His body moved on its own. Bobbing along, twisting and swaying to the rhythm. Even as tunnel vision set in, he kept dancing and singing. He couldn’t stop, not now, not when he was so close to getting out.
That wasn’t him, it was someone else. He couldn’t stop moving, couldn’t stop thinking, had to keep going, had to find out what the hell was happening to him, why he was going crazy.
His heart skipped a beat, and the world turned to white.
Music played in the distance as he fell. White faded to a swirl of red and blue- an image of himself, yet not. Their eyes met for a brief moment.
In the next instant, he found himself back in the kitchen. His cup of tea looked about ready. But he couldn’t get to it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t move an inch. Then he realized that he couldn’t even feel his own breathing.
“Holy shit,” his voice said. But it wasn’t him. Itwasn’t. “I’m out!”
Everything around him moved. Out the kitchen, through the hall, past his room, into the bathroom. His reflection greeted him with a wide grin.
“Danny Sexbang is back in action, baby!”
Oh no. That couldn’t be right. He had to be having a fever dream.
Danny hummed and tapped a finger against his lips. “I wonder where Ninja Brian is… Probably back home.” He grinned and pumped a fist into the air. “Time for me to get the fuck out of here and get laid!”
Shit, shit, shit, shit. He had to get control back somehow- if it really was Danny in his body, then something bad was sure to happen. Either Danny would fuck with the wrong person, sleep with the wrong girl, do something insanely stupid and get thrown in jail. Dan couldn’t have that.
It wasn’t until Danny strolled halfway down the street that something finally went right.
“Stop!”
It was a simple, focused thought on Dan’s part, but it seemed to do its job. Danny stopped in his tracks, nearly causing someone to bump into him.
“What the hell?” Danny asked, looking around. He didn’t seem to care that people were staring.
Dan didn’t know what to say, he barely knew what was going on himself. What do voices inside someone’s head usually say?
“I’m your, uh… Conscience.”
Danny laughed. “I don’t have a conscience. What do you take me for? Some loser who thinks?”
“Shut up, man!” Dan ordered. The toll of forcing himself to focus so much weighed heavy on him. His thoughts wanted to be jumbled pieces, not something cohesive. Like the same end of two magnets being forced together. “You look like a maniac talking to yourself!”
“A sexy maniac,” Danny said, then purred at a passing woman. “Some hotties like ‘em with extra nuts on the side. And I’ve got at least two.”
Dan never had any regrets with creating Danny until right that moment. If only he thought about how damn insufferable dealing with him in person would be. Maybe he would’ve made him just a little bit smarter. Or less stubborn, at least.
“Point is,” he replied tersely, “you should probably go back. Like, right now.”
“Nah. I’m horny as fuck, and my boner senses are telling me that I should go…” He scanned the area, then pointed toward a rather seedy looking bar. “Right there!”
Any arguments Dan could’ve made were drowned out by loud music and chatter. The place was packed to the brim. A great opportunity for Danny to fuck things up and ruin Dan’s life.
Over in the corner sat a lone woman, nursing a half empty drink. Danny immediately turned his attention to her, like some sort of sex missle. He slid into the booth and leaned over the table, fingers tucked carefully under his chin.
“Hey, babe,” he said, trying so hard to sound cool. “I couldn’t help but notice how lonely you seemed over here. Thought you could use a bit of company.”
She only stared at him for a moment, clearly having a battle with herself on whether or not to humor him. In the end, she decided to go for it. “I don’t mind. What’s your name, stranger?”
“Danny Y. Sexbang,” he purred, taking her hand and kissing the top of it. “At your service.”
Her eyebrows furrowed together. “Um, Sexbang?” she asked with a small, nervous laugh. “Is that for real?”
“You bet your sweet ass it is,” Danny said. “I come from a long line of noble, seductive Sexbangs.”
“Right…” She pulled her hand back, eyeing him up. “So, are you a gymnast or something? What’s with the spandex?”
“Oh, this?” Danny laughed, leaning back so he could show off the star emblazoned upon his chest. “It’s just what I usually wear. I’m in a band, you know? Gotta keep the branding. Never know when someone might recognize me.”
Dan couldn’t take it anymore. The more he let this go on, the deeper shit he would wind up in. Danny kept flirting, maintaining complete control over both himself and the entire situation. Even the girl was falling under his spell, judging by the dreamy look on her face.
An idea came to him. A dumb one, but one nonetheless.
He yelled. Well, thought loudly. And he imagined himself kicking and punching, fighting his way out of a box. It was weird, like a daydream. That didn’t stop him. He kept doing it, kept pushing, kept his mind active.
He thought about sleeping after a warm cup of tea. Being with all his friends, recording videos and having a good time. Watching TV during his downtime, catching up on all his favorite shows. Those moments all belonged to him. No one else.
Danny hissed under his breath, “Shut up, conscience. I’m so close to fucking this girl.”
“No!”
It felt like a snap in his chest, and looked like a flash bomb going off. Dan could feel again. The girl across from him rubbed her eyes. Everyone turned their heads his way.
At that point, Dan didn’t care what people thought. He ran out of there like a madman. Every little thing took on a whole new meaning to him. The air in his lungs made him feel whole, the feel of the ground beneath his feet made him want to cheer. But he had other priorities.
The door slam shut behind him, and he let out a sigh of relief. Finally. Now he could just pretend like that never happened.
“What the fuck was that?” Danny yelled in the back of his mind. “You totally cock-blocked me!”
A pit formed in Dan’s stomach. “This isn’t happening,” he muttered, rubbing at his arms as he paced the living room. “This is not happening.”
“You know what isn’t happening? My dick getting sucked. And that’s thanks to you, buzzkill.”
Okay, he could get through this. All he had to do was keep a calm mind and think things through. There had to be a logical explanation for this ability, for lack of a better word. Maybe Danny had the answers.
He licked his dry lips. “Um, Danny?”
“What?”
“How, uh…” Dan felt ridiculous. Maybe he should just drop it and go see a psychiatrist. “How did you get here?”
Danny huffed. At least, that’s what it sounded like. “Hell if I know. I was minding my own business at home, jacking it, when some portal opens up beneath me.” His tone grew smug. “Not the first time my sex appeal has broken space and time.”
More helpful answer than Dan honestly expected. Still, he couldn’t be entirely sure that any of it was real. He pinched himself hard.
Ouch!
That settled that. He was wide awake, at the very least. Didn’t mean he wasn’t hallucinating. Only one thing could prove that.
“Danny, I need you to take my place,” he said. With the knowledge on how to take back control, he felt confident that he could keep a tight rein on things. “Just for a moment. Don’t even think about going out again.”
“Sure, mom. But I’m not in the groove. Sing with me and maybe I can do it.”
“Okay, uh…” A countless list of songs ran through his head. Only one really stood out. “Everybody shut up…”
Déjà vu hit him. The flash of white, the music playing. Only this time, he felt himself being slowly peeled away and replaced, losing sensation in each limb one by one. Somehow it made him even more terrified than the instantaneous switch.
“I have an erection!” Danny continued, striking a pose once he had full control.
Things definitely felt different this time around. Once again Dan was just an observer in his own body, but he could feel power at the edge of his consciousness. Like a familiar memory. All he had to do was reach for it and he’d be back.
“I can’t believe,” Danny said, holding his hands up and flexing his fingers before his eyes, “you seriously thought I’d stick around this dump.”
He didn’t even take one step before Dan seized control.
The sudden change didn’t come without side-effects. One hand covering his mouth, Dan sat down and tried to hold back the urge to vomit. Offended complaints and huffing barely bothered him compared to the way his stomach flipped.
His phone went off. With his free hand, he checked it.
Barry: Hey, still need nausea stuff?
His thumb swiped out a quick reply
Dan: Yeah. And some tylenol too, please.