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Even after Vixen had been freed, she silently yearned for the confinement again. She ran her hands over the bars of her old cage, left just slightly ajar, lock left swinging.
She missed the rage, the fear, the hatred and the hunger. In a way those feelings never really left. She believed that a piece of her was still in here, despite all the effort Summer had gone through to get her out. She was still the rabid animal she'd try to deny so desperately that she was. It made her heart ache.
Izzy would be disappointed to see her here again. She'd probably feel sorry for her and then Vixen would hate herself for it. She couldn't handle that.
The cold concrete floor under her feet brought back a certain feeling that she'd been craving. The loneliness. The absolute.. Absence of anything and the agony because of it.
She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of mildew and blood. She remembered how she used to punch the wall until her knuckles bled, continuing despite the rearing pain because it was the only thing that reminded her that she was alive. That she existed.
She looked down at her hands. They'd been scarred over but if Vixen looked close enough she could almost picture the blood running down her wrists and palms again.
Suddenly she was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps descending down the basement stairs. A door was pushed further open and in stepped Izzy.
Beautiful Izzy. Just as beautiful as the last time Vixen had seen her, if not more. Vixen's brain had a way of making her feel even more in love each time she was reminded that Izzy cared.
Izzy cared enough to walk down those stairs and confront the very thing that the rest of the system never bothered to. Had been to scared to. Vixen loved how brave she was. Her brave girl.
"Hey, Vix." Izzy said with a certain softness that Vixen recognized whenever there was a delicate situation. Izzy was silently worried that she'd hurt Vixen somehow.
"Hey." Vixen smiled, pacing over to Izzy and promptly placing her hands on the smaller girls hips and staring down at her green eyes, those slightly magnified by her glasses.
"Can I ask what you're doing down here again?"
Vixen wasn't really sure herself. It was like pressing down on a bruise or running your tongue over the empty socket of a missing tooth. She couldn't help but love the pain of remembering everything.
Instead of answering, she simply looked away. Izzy didn't like that, but she wouldn't say that out loud.
"I'm just saying that Sebastian was asking about you. He still gets worried, you know? Feels like he has to protect you still."
Vixen sighed, looking back over to Izzy with a certain look of annoyance. "I'm perfectly fine."
But they both knew that was a lie. Of course. Maybe not a complete lie, she was getting better. But she was no where close to fine, at least not yet.
Izzy reached up, grabbing Vixen's face and forcing her to look down at her, really look at her. She felt slightly intimidated by the red glow of Vixen's stare, but it was nothing compared to the concern. "Talk to me, Vix. Please."
Vixen hated how she used that nickname during times like these. It made her stomach flip in all the unfamiliar ways that bordered on discomfort but still felt so right every time.
"I just.. Missed it, is all.." She couldn't lie to her, not when she was so close and speaking so sweetly.
"You missed.. The cage?" Vixen could see that Izzy almost laughed, but decided against it.
Vixen felt a little embarrassed, but it was true. "Just feels like.. This way I cant hurt people. Cant hurt you."
"Hurt me, hurt any of us. I don't care. As long as you're not locked up like an animal."
"I *am* an animal." She muttered.
"You don't mean that."
And there was silence.
"I'm not.. Like you guys. You feel urges but you don't act on them, I don't have that control. I'm weak and it makes me dangerous."
Izzy stared at Vixen like the world had shattered because in her mind it had. She knew there wasn't anything she could say. Nothing she could do to deny it, because it was the truth.
Vixen was dangerous. Vixen was an animal.
And yet Izzy couldn't help the love that swelled. The urge to deny, deny, deny. To refuse the fact that Vixen can't be saved, that Vixen doesn't deserve kindness and love and compassion.
Vixen could see it in her eyes. How her words had gotten to Izzy. Izzy wanted to scream but she couldn't. She wouldn't. Not at Vixen; not ever.
Instead she took a deep breath and took Vixen's hand in hers. "Vix, I'm gonna get you out of here. Not just out of here but, " she pointed at Vixen's forehead. "Here."
"I'm gonna make things okay, okay? You don't have to worry. You don't have to sit here in these bars. You can be out there, becoming better. With me."
Vixen couldn't help but smile, and even though she hadn't felt much besides hunger, guilt and rage, her eyes began to well up.
Izzy looked even more beautiful like this, through blurry tear filled eyes. She was distorted and more colorful, and for once Vixen felt something good, without any of the bad with it. She forgot she was in the basement, in this cage.
"There's my girl." Izzy cooed, wiping the fallen tears from Vixen's cheeks.
And like usual, Vixen didn't have the words, because she'd never been taught how. But it was okay, because Izzy could do just fine for the both of them.