Archive of Our Own

“Isshiki-sa-”

“....”

Ron tried too hard to not start pulling his hair from his scalp as Totomaru turned his head from him, ignoring his pleas.

“Isshiki-san… please…”

Another turn.

God please, if you can Ron Kamonohashi, he doesn't want to cry in front of his lover like the pathetic loser he is who is right now dealing with his lover’s first tantrum.

Tears began to form on the edges of Ron's eyelids as he stared at Totomaru’s back whose brows are furrowed and cheeks puffed in annoyance.

Just moments ago they were just sitting in the library, studying (more like spending time together). In just a span of a minute, Totomaru turned his back to him. Of course Ron knows the reason. It's just that he can't do what his lover suggested.

“Since we're lovers now, you should call me by my name now, Kamonohashi-kun.”

“Eh?”

Totomaru grinned at him, “You can call me Totomaru… or any nicknames you think of. I'll call you Ron!” His long lashes fluttered as Totomaru looked up to him, “That's fine, right?”

‘It's fine!!! He's so beautiful and cute!!!’ Ron screamed inside his head. His heart squeezing as his mind replay his name being rolled by Totomaru’s tongue. He feels life is actually worth living.

He might cry.

Ron stammered as Totomaru leaned closer to him, his body leaning back away from Totomaru’s body, “Ron-kun? Or just Ron?”

His eyes spinned as Totomaru cutely tilted his head asking him questions saying his name. ‘Oh my gosh…’ Ron's heart quickens each word, his eyes unfocused on Totomaru’s face– his eyes, his cheeks, the strand of his hair, his nose, his lips.

Ron looked at the corner of the library and gripped his fist, “Ro-Ron is fine… Just call me Ron…” He inwardly tried to exhale, calming himself.

He and Totomaru have been going out for a week now, and gosh he still couldn't believe Totomaru Isshiki– THE Totomaru Isshiki. The one he loves, admires, worship is actually going out with him and ACTUALLY loves him.

Ron prayed every night now asking if this is a dream or what deed he did in his past life to acquire this blessed life he is currently living.

Totomaru gave a satisfied smile and stopped pushing himself from Ron, sitting on his own seat comfortably, “Ron.” He decided.

Ron held his chest, heat increasing on his cheeks as his heart beat fast.

“Then what will Ron call me?”

That was the start of their fight? because Ron's mind went blank. Totomaru took this as a sign that Ron did not intend to call him by his first name at all and stayed with ‘Isshiki-san’.

The thing is, ‘Isshiki-san’ is just not a name for Ron. It's the sign of his respect and love for Totomaru. To Ron, If he ever is a god, ‘Isshiki-san’ would be his calling name. Every time that name comes out of Ron's mouth, it's not only because it's a name– it comes with his love, devotion, respect, and admiration for Totomaru.

Ron thinks that if ever calls Totomaru other than that, it's disrespectful and Totomaru would feel less of his love.

Grey eyes glanced at the teary man beside him before widening in shock, “Are you crying!?!”

Small tears fall from Ron's cheeks as his lips quivered. Realizing it, Ron immediately wiped them with his sleeves but failed.

“Toto… Don't be mad at me…”

Totomaru was taken aback from how sad his voice was. He looked around to see if someone is at the library. Then turned to Ron who was still crying. His raised his hand and touched Ron's wet cheek,

“Don't be mad at me, Toto…”

“Ro-Ron… I'm not mad… I'm not mad. I'm just teasing you… I'm not mad.”

He looks so cute!! Totomaru knows he shouldn't think of that about his lover but he looks absolutely adorable with those teary eyes. His thumb wiped the falling tears from Ron's tears, his eyes softening, “Look. You're already calling me by my nickname.”

He felt Ron stiffen against his hand before the temperature rose to cold and there was an explosion. Now he's a blushing mess.

Really.

He's so adorable.

~~~

When Totomaru first saw Ron, he was mysterious and cool. That was what Totomaru thought. Though his hair was a little long and absolutely against the school policy but for some reason nobody scolds him for that so he just let it go.

It looks good on him anyways. It actually adds to his charm.

Every time Totomaru walks in the same hallway or being in the same room as Ron, he will never not hear people gushing about Ron.

“Kamonohashi-kun is so cool.”

“He's so smart. So dreamy.”

“He's so tall and sporty too!”

Totomaru could only glance at Ron who they say is the perfect man. Really? He thought as he watched Ron play with a… Is that a sudoku book?

The wind blows from the window. The strand of black hair moved revealing the blue eyes that Totomaru saw for the first time, almost taking his breath.

Those beautiful blue eyes flickered on his way and Totomaru turned around just in time before being noticed.

That scared him.

He rested his chin on his palm as a hint of pink hue slowly showed on his cheeks. I guess he is dreamy.

Ron Kamonohashi is a close off person. His vibes gives the people the impression that he is not a friendly person and he absolutely has no intention of being friends with people. Some of their classmates didn't really want to interact with a foreigner, some were interested but scared.

Totomaru is neither.

Until that moment Ron tried to help him with his math homework. He realized that Ron isn't that cold at all and actually a helpful person.

Totomaru tried to talk with him from time to time after that, trying to be friends with him. At least to make him feel welcome and not out of place in the classroom. He's friends with everyone so it wouldn't be hard, right?

However, the more Totomaru looked at Ron he began to realize there was no ‘cool’ Ron.. Only an awkward and lonely person. Thus, he became more interactive with Ron. He was actually silent and cold pretty much of the time, he's so smart too. Totomaru thought of just leaving him alone because of the huge difference between them.

Until Ron pulled on his sleeve with desperate eyes.

That was the moment Totomaru decided to not leave Ron alone. He didn't want to see that kind of emotion in Ron's eyes again.

The time they spent in the library was hell but Totomaru didn't hate it. He gets to spend time with the smart Kamonohashi and was even given the opportunity to be tutored by him.

Ron was very considerate of him. Whenever he was struggling, he wouldn't mind explaining it again in a different, easier way for Totomaru. Moreover, he always gives a safe distance of comfort and respect between them.

Which Totomaru found weird because even to the seniors, Ron shows no respect at all. Ron always calls him ‘Isshiki-san’. It's actually a new experience to Totomaru because everyone just calls him by his given name or surname without any horrifics. Being called with respect was new to him and it came from the student that's number 1 in their class and school.

And only to him.

It made him realize that he wanted respect too.

Another thing he realizes is that Ron Kamonohashi is kind. Whenever he has that soft expression, he looks far more beautiful than he had ever been before. It made Totomaru think he might have a crush on Ron.

But….

“I believe you can do it.”

Were the words that made Totomaru fall in love with him.

Ron listened to his stupid talks and his dream. The dream that everyone said and believe he won't reach because he's dumb and too nice to be a police. Even his grandfather has no hope for him. The only ones who supported him were his grandmother and Ron.

Totomaru thought before that he wanted someone to see him, to believe in him– until nobody would listen to him. He stopped talking about his dream and everything. People say he's the best friend they could have because they can be themselves around him.

But who can Totomaru be himself with?

A lonely soul surrounded by people.

Totomaru's eyes always follow Ron's features. How he would react, where he faces, what he could be thinking. But there was none… his eyes, his face, his mind were all focused to him.

Only him.

It made Totomaru special.

He made Totomaru special.

~~~

Ron adjusted his tie as he gulped. His hand is profusely sweating. Today is Totomaru’s birthday, his first birthday with Ron. Ron wants to make it special, and they both decide to have a date on his birthday since Totomaru’s family will have a meal together at night, they can go out during the day.

He combed his hair back. His eyes couldn't focus on a single area. For the first time in his life, Ron is worried about something. That just shows how important Totomaru is to him. Ron may look like he already had many lovers in his life but he's been a big fat no lover since birth and this is his first ever relationship and hoping to be his last.

For the past few days, he has been going out more than he does searching for gifts for Totomaru. It's their first day, his first ever celebration with Totomaru and it's Totomaru’s birthday. It must be something special and unique, memorable, unforgettable.

Ron swallowed again.

“Mom, I'm going out!”

“Enjoy!” Tomi smiled as her eyes softened, “Our boy has really grown, Eliot…” She whispered looking at a picture frame of their family when Ron was 5 years old.

They decided to meet at the nearby bus stop since they will be going to the center of the city for their date. Ron took it as his responsibility to choose the place of their date.

He nervously walked to the bus stop, feeling the unfamiliar mass in his pocket. Will he like it… He hasn't known Totomaru that much yet. He has only admired him from afar for almost half a year, he doesn't know the brunette in a personal distance yet.

They haven't even had their 1st monthsary yet!

Blue eyes sparkled like the skies when Ron saw his beloved lover, “Toto!” He immediately runs to the brunette who turns to him with a smile, “Hello, Ron.”

“Toto, happy birthday!”

Totomaru blinked to his flustered lover before smiling brightly, “Thank you, Ron. You look really handsome today.” He was about to lift his hand to pat Ron's head but decided against it, not wanting to ruin Ron's special hair style for today.

Ron blushed as he looked at Totomaru’s shining eyes “Toto looks handsome too.”

This isn't his first time seeing Totomaru in civilian clothes but he will always think he looks good in anything, but today he especially looks good. Totomaru has one side of his hair combed to the side, wearing a white shirt with sky blue blazer and black pants, and a shoulder bag. He looks absolutely stunning, glowing, flawless.

Totomaru touched his hair shyly, blushing at the complement, “Thank you, Ron.”

Damn it. Ron couldn't say anything.

Lucky for him, the bus finally arrived. Totomaru sat first as Ron took the seat beside the aisle. Watching the scenery pass by, Totomaru has a smile on his face.

This is his first date with Ron and he is absolutely excited for today. Hopefully, Ron didn't have his eyebugs. Ron offered to take him out and he agreed, after all, it's his birthday too– his special day. He's excited to where Ron will take him, or if he has a gift, he's excited for that too.

The bus stopped at their destination and Totomaru was shocked when Ron offered his hand as they went down the bus, “Was Ron raised a gentleman? Ah-”

Ron smiled at him before letting go of his hand, blushing harshly, feeling the left-behind warmth of Totomaru’s skin on his hand, “I was raised by my mom most of my life…”

“Oh..” That explains a lot. So Ron is raised by his mother… and his father? But Totomaru didn't want to ask a question out of nowhere. Ron didn't mention any father either.

His palm felt a little lonely though. If Totomaru thinks of it, that was the first time Ron actually touched his hand. His hand was warm. He thought. It fits Totomaru’s hand.

Grey eyes lingering looking at Ron's hands before diverting. But he knows he can't do much in public. Disappointment swelled inside his chest as he held on the strap of his bag.

“Toto.”

Totomaru looked up and saw the sun dazzling, “Let's have lunch first. You haven't eaten yet, right?”

Totomaru tried to open his mouth but no words came out. He could only nod to Ron's question as warmth filled his body.

It's fine. I'm here with Ron.

He should be happy today.

Totomaru walked beside Ron as they walked around. Looking around, Totomaru can see couples going out on dates too. Today is the first day of spring and snow has finally melted, so many couples are going out now. Soon the cherry blossoms will bloom.

He should invite Ron to see them.

“Toto.”

Totomaru found himself standing at the door of a restaurant that seemed luxurious, “Ron?” Looking at his lover who opened the door for the both of them.

Reluctantly, Totomaru entered the restaurant and Ron smiled with joy. Ron was saying something to the clerk before they were led to their seat on the second floor near the window where Totomaru can see the view.

“Is this fine…?” Totomaru asked. Was Ron that rich? For Totomaru, this seems like a restaurant that one would go to for a formal party. The interior of the restaurant is quite minimalist but you can still feel its formality and luxury ambience all around.

“Don't worry, Toto. Mom and I go here once a month.”

“I see…” So he's rich! The menu doesn't even have prices on them!

Of course, Ron already knows the prices. So cute. Is this too much… To Ron, this is, however, normal. His mother is a very important and the most sought detective in her field and gets paid a lot of money. Also, euros have a lot of value in Japan when exchanged to yen. It's not really a lot. Ron rarely uses his money if it's not brown sugar syrup so he has money to spare.

He wants to make their first date memorable and great.

Ron wants to show Totomaru his life, and he wants to go to more places with him and eat a lot of food with him.

“Uhm Ron…”

“Yes, Toto?”

“I don't really know what to pick.” Totomaru fidgets on his seat.

That was when Ron realized that this must be Totomaru’s first time at a western style restaurant. I'm such an idiot! He should have chosen the Japanese restaurant.

But seeing Totomaru depend on him is so cute. So adorable. Ron wants to breathe him in.

“If it's fine with Toto, I can choose the menu.”

Totomaru happily nodded. Honestly, he isn't upset at all being in a western restaurant. He has always wanted to try to eat at one but his family is a traditional Japanese type of people, so he had never tried to be at one before. Having this experience with his lover is the best.

Wait… Ron's British, right? Totomaru smiled a little in embarrassment. Sometimes he really forgets that. Ron is so fluent at Japanese that he sometimes forgets he's British at first.

“I'm partly Japanese from my grandmother’s side.”

“Ah.”

The waiter walks away from their table as Ron finishes giving their order.

He was listening to me? Totomaru held his breath.

“I learned Japanese just for fun while I was still in London. It was my grandmother's language and I wanted to communicate with her even just a little.”

Ron has that gentle expression again. He must really like his grandmother. Totomaru thought with a smile listening to Ron talk. Ron's eyes are shining. It makes Totomaru’s chest tighten.

An ocean where he drowns.

That's what Totomaru thinks about Ron's eyes. It always felt like he was being hypnotized or drawn towards Ron before he even knew. His eyes are really dangerous. That hairstyle is dangerous.

As Ron continued to talk about his Japanese, Totomaru’s eyes landed on his neck. A tattoo? He didn't even realize he was staring at it for too long that Ron noticed it.

“It's a scar.”

Totomaru flinched. He really needs to keep his voice to himself for god sake.

“It looks bigger than I thought.” He said.

Ron only smiled, “Is it?”

Totomaru nodded, “Ron always wears his uniform diligently so it's hardly noticeable. But when you are in casual clothes, it's noticeable.” He lifts his head to look at Ron and his heart skips a beat.

Ron's eyes, in full display, look at him with full or affection. Shining, sparkling like the stars in the night sky with love and interest.

“I'm happy.” Ron grinned, “I'm happy Toto looks at me.”

Totomaru blushed, avoiding Ron's eyes before he died of suffocation, “Isn't it normal to look at your lover…” He mumbled.

Ron lovingly chuckled, “You're right. I always look at Toto too.”

Just when he decided to be the proactive one in their relationship, now Totomaru is the one sinking on his seat with shyness washing himself. why does he have to look that handsome!?

Not long after, their orders finally arrived and Totomaru’s eyes looked at the dishes with great interest. The food is probably a lot more than he expected. I have to finish them… He didn't want Ron to waste his money.

He was thankful he learned a bit of western cutlery before or he would have made a fool of himself. Totomaru looked at Ron and saw the man drowning his food with brown sugar syrup.

“Why are you ruining good food!?”

Ron clicked his tongue, “Tsk tsk tsk Toto. This is the true cuisine.”

“More like a true crime…” The sight of the brown gooey sugary liquid dominating the food that was once sparkling now gone, Totomaru felt his appetite disappear a little. It's not like he doesn't know about this habit of Ron. Everyone who knows Ron's name knows his addiction to brown sugar syrup.

But seeing Ron's happy and satisfied expression, Totomaru could only smile and continue his meal. As long as his food is safe.

He likes this. He feels like he's learning more about Ron. It feels like he's entering Ron’s life and he's becoming part of it.

And another thing he learned about Ron is that his stomach is an infinite hole like the black hole.

“Two burgers, 2 popcorn, and 2 drinks.” Ron happily said to the seller as they got snacks and got the movie.

“Eh!? Are you still not full?!” Totomaru yelled beside Ron who innocently smiled at him before knocking his head to the side acting confused, “Were growing boys, Toto. Eat a lot. You should eat a lot too.”

“No thank you…”

“If you say so, Toto.”

So that's why he ordered two popcorn… Totomaru sweat drops as he glances beside him as they sit watching the intro of the movie, He is drowning it in brown sugar syrup again!! Totomaru slapped his mouth and made sure he wouldn't be saying anything as the movie went on.

He could only sigh in resignation. He ended up giving Ron half of his popcorn and burger because his stomach couldn't handle any more food.

“That was a fun movie! I really liked how the main character defeated the evil criminal family and was reunited with his partner. I thought he really died at the end. I was so worried.” Totomaru smiled. Ron beside him listens to all his words with love in his eyes.

What you all call a puppy in love.

Ron looked at his watch. Totomaru only has time for their date until 6pm. It's 3:30pm now.

So fast. He thought.

Ron turned to Totomaru again and saw him looking at a game center. Then he was pulled by hand, almost knocking his lungs out, “Let’s go there, Ron!”

“Wait- Toto-”

Heat rushed to Ron's face as Totomaru's warm firm hand held his own. Ohmygod ohmygod. He was trying to keep his cool all this time and now he might actually faint.

Ohmygod I'm holding Toto's hand. We're holding hands. We're holding hands! Ron screamed inside his head as his eyes spinned around not even caring anymore where Totomaru brought him.

Which was only the gaming center.

Totomaru went to buy coins and Ron finally breathed, holding his chest as he stood at the entrance of the gaming center praying for his heart to recover and that he won't today yet.

He still wants to live his dreams with Totomaru.

“Ron!”

Ron immediately turned his head and ran to Totomaru… like a dog.

I was holding his hand. I was holding his hand. Ron room a deep breathe. There's a lot of students. Is this the stuff they are interested in? Ron does confess that he's anti-social to the point that he doesn't know what the people of his years are interested in. He prefers to stay inside his room and read books that will help him to be a detective. Not going out and playing some random games-

“Ron, why not try this?”

“Okay, Toto.” There was a tail wagging behind him now…

It was whack-a-mole. Ron didn't ask what to do. He didn't want to look so uncool in front of Totomaru. He has an idea on what to do anyways.

Totomaru’s laugh chimed beside him as he missed a mole. The edges of Ron’s lips went downwards as he whacked the moles after that one miss.

“Hahahahaha! You're really taking it seriously, Ron.”

“I just missed one, Toto!” Ron whined, embarrassed.

After a few more laughs, Totomaru finally calmed down, “You're so cute, Ron.” He heard a squeak. He turned to Ron who whacked a mole on the machine.

It was still working?

“Arghh!” Totomaru has his hands on his hair. His hairstyle is already ruined as he failed the claw machine 5 times now. Ron behind him watches in amusement. Toto’s so cute when frustrated too.

He looked at other claw machines and saw one that had stuffed toy hamsters on it. They are quite big. Just perfect for Toto. Ron thought and gave himself a mission.

Totomaru turned around and saw Ron nowhere near him. His eyes opened wide and looked around almost panicking then he saw Ron in one of the claw machines. He sighed in relief and went to Ron, “Ron… please tell me if you wanted to play.”

“Sorry, Toto. This looks so cute.”

Ron, who was kneeling down, was holding something. He was grinning happily as if he got a jackpot. He stood up to Totomaru’s height and showed him what's on his arms, “I got it!”

A brown hamster stuffed toy.

“It's so cute, isn't it? It reminds me of Toto so I got it!” Ron merrily said as he offered Totomaru the hamster who looked at it with shock. Its big black eyes looked straight to his eyes as if saying that he's happily adopted by them.

“You got this?”

“Yeah!”

“On the first try?”

Ron nodded.

“That's amazing!” Totomaru smiled brightly, “Thank you, Ron!” He snuggled against the cheek of the hamster.

Warmth fluttered over Ron's chest watching the adorable scene, feeling satisfied that Totomaru is happy.

“Hey, Ron. Do you want to have a photo?”

“Photo?” Damn of course he wants a photo. It's their first date. He absolutely wants a photo. His eyes are practically shining. He would gladly take a photo right now with his phone if Totomaru permits.

However, he was dragged somewhere else. He will never get used to this. Ron blushed as Totomaru’s fingers wrapped around his hand. So cute. I feel like I'm going to explode soon..

Ron Kamonohashi had to take deep breaths holding his chest. Calm down, calm down… Toto and I are a couple now so this will be normal from now on… . But still, it makes me so nervous!

“Ron.”

Ron blinked. Heat pulled above his shoulders as he realized that Totomaru’s face was centimeters away from him, “To.. To…” His breath caught on his throat as Totomaru smiled at him.

“It's a photo booth.”

Totomaru pushed a coin inside the machine as Ron looked around. An isolated place with only them.

Touch.

Ron turned his head to see Totomaru shyly avoiding his eyes, “It should be fine, right…?” Soft skin slipped between the gap of Ron's fingers, it almost made him shiver. Ron's heart fluttered and blushed.

He nodded and Totomaru finally grinned looking at him.

“I looked so pathetic…” Ron groaned against his pillow, hugging the white thing against his face. His flustered face glanced at the photos laying on his bed innocently.

3 photos of him and Totomaru in that photo booth. One with Totomaru grinning at him while he was blushing. Another is him finally looking at the camera and Totomaru smiling ever brighter. Last is both of them smiling while Totomaru held their hands together.

Ron, of his whole life, never expected to see himself enjoying life, but now he's looking at the proof. He was smiling, in love. Looking at Totomaru’s bright smile, warmth filled his chest. He finally has a picture of Totomaru, and his picture of Totomaru is with him, with them holding hands.

His blue eyes held softness.

“Wait, Toto.”

“What is it, Ron?” Totomaru smiled at it. It was almost the time when he had to go back home. He closely embraced the stuffed toy that Ron got for him.

Ron swallowed. He nervously took something from his pocket. A brown small box that jewelry can fit into. Totomaru tilted his head, looking at Ron who opened the box.

His grey eyes widened with sparks.

A silver bracelet adorn with a small blue jewel pendant. It was simple yet elegant– it suits men and women alike. Just perfect. Something Totomaru can wear on everyday bases without receiving any questions from other people.

“It's my gift, for your birthday.” Ron said, almost mumbling. Totomaru's eyes flickered up. Ron's face was red, he's shy, “I hope you like it.”

Totomaru set aside the stuffed toy and reached for the bracelet. His fingers touched the bracelet with delicate care, not wanting to ruin it. Totomaru admires the bracelet. Truly, it wasn't that special… it only has one jewel and a stand of silver… yet he can't help but admire it like it's a treasure.

“Will you put it on?”

Ron's nervous expression immediately changed to happiness. He nodded and eagerly hung the bracelet around Totomaru’s wrist. Excitement ran down Totomaru’s system as the accessory's cold material touched his skin.

He likes it… so much.

It fits perfectly.

“It suits you, Toto.” Ron said, as sweet as the brown sugar syrup that Totomaru couldn't swallow.

“Thank you, Ron. I like it so much.” Totomaru smiled, as bright as the sun that Ron couldn't look at.

~~~

Totomaru Isshiki. Everyone calls him “everyone's Totomaru Isshiki”. That is because he is almost friends with everyone. He treats everyone equally. He has no enemies if they say. He has no enemies because when they insult him he doesn't take it personally. That's what they think.

He always smiles at everyone and helps them as long as he can. That was how he became everyone’s friend and the teachers’ good student.

But something is strange lately.

“Ron!”

Ron? The passerby turned their head as Isshiki Totomaru walked to Kamonohashi Ron's side. That wasn't weird. What was weird was how Totomaru addressed the other boy.

In Japan, calling someone by their first name can only mean they are close to the other person or the other allowed them to. Everyone calls Kamonohashi Ron ‘Kamonohashi’ and nothing more. He never lets anyone get close to him, and not everyone wants to be friends with him.

But here Isshiki Totomaru is standing beside the cold, neutral boy with the brightest smile like the sun at noon.

He's so cute! The passerby thought who actually has a crush on Totomaru. Nearby most of the girls in the building have a crush on the boy. Helpful, sweet, caring, has a good smile and also looks. Who could ask for more? But nobody dares to confess.

Because Isshiki Totomaru treats everyone equally. Even if you enter into a relationship with him, you'll still just be the same as everyone else.

Isshiki stood beside Kamonohashi’s table and talked. Is he even listening? The passerby thought watching Kamonohashi hold his book and reading.

But Isshiki just kept on talking.

“Is that so?” Kamonohashi finally spoke, startling the passerby when they heard the interest in his tone. He's interesting!? In something!? The same person who always yawns and sleeps in classes and insults the class for being boring!? Their eyes almost popped out.

The passerby held their breath as Kamonohashi leaned to hear Isshiki more. His bangs swept to the side as he moved revealing his blue eyes– soft, gentle loving eyes staring at Isshiki.

The passerby paused. Their mouths gaped.

So the sunshine can melt the ice! I have no chance now!!

~~~

There were times like this. Ron knows about it. The days where Totomaru goes home late than other students because of student council activities. Since it's the end of the year, the council has no events to organize. However, they help the teachers with errands during the last half of the final semester because it's such a busy time.

The president– Amamiya, is a woman of order and values. If she is tasked with work, she will get it done no matter what. Totomaru follows under her, and he's as hardworking as she is.

Ron leaned against the wall of the hallway, playing on his phone some games that Totomaru introduced to him just a few days ago. Honestly, he wasn't so interested on games at all. But seeing Totomaru playing it happily, he wants to know it now.

He hates idle time too, so it's not so bad when he has nothing to do. He needs to catch up to his beloved’s level too.

“Kamonohashi-san.”

Ron looks beside him and saw a woman with short black hair and love stuck eyes. He only stared at her.

“What could be Kamonohashi-san's business here?” The voice was so high that Ron had to keep a neutral face or he would really show his disgust.

“Waiting for Toto.” Was his only response.

“Oh, Isshiki? He's currently helping in the math department.”

Ron nodded and went back to his game.

Then he felt the girl walk towards him, “What is Kamonohashi-san playing?”

Ahh… get away. But he can't say that or Totomaru will get mad at him, scold him for being so cold to anyone at all. But he can't really tolerate anyone in his presence especially if they get so close that disgust runs down his skin.

“Ron!”

His tense shoulders calmed as his eyes widen. Ron turned to the voice he knows and saw the sun of his life, “Toto!” He immediately strides towards Totomaru, leaving the girl without a second thought.

Totomaru smiled at him, then noticed the other presence, “Amamiya-senpai! Wh-What are you doing here..?” He glanced at Ron who is only looking at him.

“I was just talking to Kamonohashi-san. Are you done with your errands?” Amamiya answered plainly before glaring at him.

Totomaru curled to himself, nodding, “Yes. The teachers told me to go home because it's late.”

“I see. I should go home now too, I suppose.” She waved her hand at them and turned around, “Go home now, Isshiki.” She looked over her shoulder, “See you again, Kamonohashi-san.” There was obviously a difference in tone.

Something heavy slowly lurked inside of Totomaru’s chest as the sound of the girl's heels slowly disappear from their hearing.

“Toto?”

“Ah-”

Blue eyes mesmerized grey eyes. Heat creeped above Totomaru’s neck. So close! He thought and turned his head from Ron's brilliant eyes.

He adjustes his bag and started to walk, feeling Ron walk beside him one step behind. What he didn't felt is those blue eyes staring at him.

They were already half way to their homes when someone finally spoke.

“Toto?”

Totomaru stopped on his tracks. Shocked about the scared and unusual tone of Ron's voice. He turned around and saw Ron standing behind him, almost like a child that got lost. He titled his head, “What is it, Ron?”

“Did… I did something wrong?” His voice was trembling.

Totomaru blinked a few times before realizing what he was doing, “No! No! You didn't did anything wrong, Ron!” He panicked and took a step closer to the taller boy, “Don't worry. It's fine. I'm just having… some thoughts…”

Ron looked confused. Totomaru lowered his head, not really wanting to be… seen, “I…” He pressed his lips together. Should he even say it? It's not even important. It's just his damn self-esteem issue. Ron has nothing to do with it. It could be just his overthinking. But he already started this… Ron will always be asking about this after if he doesn't continue.

“It's… just that Amamiya-senpai is beautiful… and smart…and… ” Totomaru’s throat tightened, betraying himself, “... and other things.” Like being a woman, maybe.

He couldn't see Ron’s face. He feels scared. Scared to be seen like this. So small, so vulnerable… his real thoughts out, being told to someone who could hurt him.

The moment of silence was killing him, stabbing his heart by each seconds passing. It's not like… Ron will understan-

“But Toto is the one I want.”

Totomaru's breathe hitched. He looked up and saw Ron looking at him. His hidden eyes looking at him like a gem from the night sky staring at him every night.

“And Toto is the one I will always choose.”

His heart fluttered. Those words felt more special than he thought they would be. Happiness bloomed inside his chest as Ron's words enter his heart, “The only one I love is Toto and that won't change.”

It was too in love, so pure, full of conviction. It was hard not to believe it, it was hard not to trust it.

A promise.

The first promise that he will ever believe in.

~~~

“Hasn't Totomaru been close to Kamonohashi lately?” One of the boys talks, being surrounded by other students who're also studying.

“Now that you said it… I noticed it too. Maybe they finally became friends.” The other said– Yamamoto– not really minding it with a smile.

“But that Kamonohashi?”

“Well yeah… but Totomaru always has that vibe around him that makes you want to be friends with him.” Yamamoto mused, “I'm not really shocked.” He laughs.

“I guess what you said is true.” The other boy just looked down on his own paper. However, his mind couldn't let go of the thought.

“Totomaru!”

The boy almost flinched and looked in the direction where his friend was waving to see the brunette of the topic. He doesn't let anyone talk about from behind!?

“Hello, everyone!” The brunette smiled as he walked towards them. Now he understood what his friend meant about Totomaru’s ambiance. That almost innocent sweet smile with bright eyes full of kindness and determination makes you want to like him in some way. He's always friendly and smiles, you'll just find yourself being friends with him in a matter of time.

“You're all studying?”

“Well, yeah. Finals are coming soon. I don't want to have any summer classes!” They complained.

Totomaru laughs with that, “Me too!”

There was a glint in the eye, “Oh ho. You're studying now?”

“Hey, I study too!” Totomaru pouted.

“Hahahaha yeah yeah. We're in our second year now so I guess we have to take our education seriously now…” There was a little gloomy atmosphere that dropped the temperature around the table.

Totomaru made himself a space around the table, looking through their notebooks. His knowledgeable eyes flickered between the words, “This one. You should use a different equation.” He pointed.

His classmates’ eyes almost popped out looking at Totomaru who began to explain how to solve the problem. Totomaru Isshiki who is always one of the students who ranks last in their year is teaching them math and it's correct!

“Hahahaha Totomaru is really studying hard!” Yamamoto laughs.

The other boys smiled at him, “He really does.”

“It kind of motivates me a little now.” They said.

Totomaru blushed with embarrassment. He didn't mean to do that. But that was always how Ron taught him. Ron lets him solve a problem and does that when there is something wrong with his solving and teaches him again before doing it again.

“Kamonohashi must be really teaching him well.”

“Can you imagine Kamonohashi teaching?”

“I thought that was impossible but Totomaru here is the proof of that.”

“But he's always top of the class because he's alone.. Does he have a lot of time to study? Is he fine being with Isshiki? Doesn't he like being alone? Maybe you were bothering him?”

Eh?

“Hey! What are you saying? Totomaru here is the most considerate guy. He'd know that before you know.”

“Is he ever mean to you, Isshiki?”

“Eh?” Totomaru looked at his friend who asked, surprised and confused, “No… Ron… is actually a very nice person.” He said. Looking down, an unknown expression on his face,

“He always helps me, always considerate of my feelings…” Realizing something, Totomaru stopped his mouth and smiled at his friends who were looking at him with questioning looks, “Ron is a really good friend! You should talk to him once in a while.”

The boys looked at each other, deciding something before nervously smiling, “Maybe next time…” But the thought of cold Kamonohashi stopped them, “Maybe not…”

“Okay… I still have errands to do.” Totomaru waved goodbye to his friends, “I'll see you all at school.”

That was close… I almost revealed my relationship with Ron… He thought as he walked far from the group. They never talked about it before but Totomaru can already guess that Ron isn't the type to tell their relationship to other people.

He, himself, doesn't plan on telling anyone as well. Not with his family… who absolutely wouldn't approve of his homosexuality and relationship. People aren't that kind. Not to people that's not normal. Even his friends were already looking confused earlier.

He can never say anything.

“Maybe you were bothering him?”

Then again… Did Ron really want a relationship with him? Ron didn't confess to him, he was the one who confessed. Totomaru cringed remembering that moment. He forced Ron to confess. Was he ever planning to confess and have a relationship with me… Am I the only one who wants this relationship? He doesn't even hold my hand… I'm always the one initiating it… Am I forcing myself on him?

“Toto?”

Eyes opened. The sight of Ron looking at him worriedly became clear as Totomaru looked up, “Are you okay? You've been sleeping a lot lately.”

Can he even ask those things to Ron? Totomaru’s heart clenched with stinging pain.

“I'm fine, Ron.” He smiled, forcefully.

Right now, they are studying for the exams. The final exams for this year before they move up to third year. Even Ron is studying. But it was mostly tutoring Totomaru.

“Maybe you were bothering him?”

Totomaru looked down on himself. Maybe… maybe I do… His chest aches, it hurts. No. No. He can't cry in the library. Absolutely not in front of Ron. He's a man. He shouldn't cry.

Picking up a pencil, Totomaru continued his study without saying anything. Not noticing Ron's worried expression. Toto… he's been really silent lately.

He remembered that one time when Totomaru was insecure about another girl. He was silent. That is the first sign of Totomaru being upset and sad. Toto who would always say something, intentionally or not, whatever is inside his mind. Toto who would always have an expression on his face no matter what. Ron doesn't like it.

He doesn't like how silent, empty and uncaring Toto looks around him. It feels so distant. Like Toto doesn't acknowledge Ron at all.

Ron doesn't like it at all.

It felt like drowning. Being choked. Being abandoned.

“Toto.” He called– hoping for an answer, an acknowledgement.

Totomaru’s distant eyes looked at him like it was a knife threatening to stab Ron's back.

Gulping, Ron slowly reaches out for Totomaru. He's scared, no, nervous. His hand touches Totomaru’s skin for the first time with his own will.

Warm, and gentle.

They both inhaled. One with shock, one with anxiety.

Ron wanted to move his hand– soothe, comfort Totomaru in a way he thinks will do. But he can't move. His hand feels so heavy, almost sticking to the skin. Fear, anxiety, nervousness clawing its way to his throat as Totomaru said nothing.

“What is it, Ron?”

It was warm, like the spring. Totomaru’s voice spreads through his chest like a blanket in cold weather. Ron hesitantly looked at Totomaru's eyes, not wanting to see it distant again.

Toto is smiling, soft. The warm and kind smile he always gives to Ron once again on his lips. His eyes filled with affection.

Ron carefully opened his mouth, the feeling of anxiety still sticking on his throat, “Are.. you okay?”

Totomaru was silent for a little while. His fingers under Ron's touch are not moving, almost becoming cold as time passes by for unknown eternity.

“Does Ron love me?” He actually doesn't know what's the right question to ask. Is he a bother? Is he bringing down Ron? Is he ever necessary? Is he important? Does Ron want him? Did Ron want a relationship with him? Did Ron want this? So many questions yet so little…

“Of course I love Toto.”

For some reason it didn't comforted him.

He slowly dragged his hand away from Ron's touch before they were grabbed with force.

“Don't… don't go away, Toto.” Ron begged. Desperation– fear wrapped his voice making Totomaru hold back his breath. Sparks of water crash inside his blue ocean eyes looking at Totomaru, begging, holding his hand tightly.

“Don't go, Toto…”

Both his hands grounded on Totomaru’s hand, not letting him go.

“Don't leave me…”

Painful and loud beats. Totomaru’s chest stopped with time as Ron cried for him. Ron… Pity.. or sympathy. Totomaru pursed his lips, turning around and wiping Ron's cheek.

“Ron…” His hands touched Ron's cheeks, gently. Ron's fingers held on his clothes, clenching.

“Don't leave, Toto…”

Ron's shoulders trembled, “I'm sorry… I'm sorry…”

“What are you sorry for, Ron?” It wasn't confusion nor arrogance. Simply wanting to understand. Asking what he is crying for. Because for Totomaru, Ron did nothing wrong yet he's apologizing like his life depended on it.

Am I that really important, Ron?

…. For you to cry like that…

Suddenly, his once hardened heart feels so soft. He wants to be gentle, to be gentle and kind to Ron. Understand and hold Ron, so softly, so gently, warm. His arms wrapped around Ron's head and pulled him closer. Ron's sobs muffled against his chest.

You can cry on me… I'll hide this sight from the world… so you won't feel shamed.

Was he really that scared for me to go away…Ron… Am I really that important…? If I am, then I'm glad. If I'm not… I'm still glad to be able to be with you…

I love you, Ron.

I love you so much, so don't let go of me.

•••

“I-I'm sorry, Toto!” Ron blushed furiously as he tried to hide himself with his hands that just touched Totomaru who chuckled sitting in front of him. So cute.

Ron touched his chest, breathing fast and slow at the same time. Ohmygod I just–!! Toto!! I just hugged Toto!!! His world spinner as he grounded himself with the table.

I just hugged Toto!! I just hugged Toto!! I really hugged him!! The softness and the warmth– the feeling of Totomaru’s clothes against his skin still lingers like a brown sugar syrup. His scent, detergent, and perfume filled Ron's nose.

It's all too much!!

He wanted to bang his head against the table so badly but he still has some rationality left to not embarrass himself further in front of his crush– now lover.

“Ron always gets so embarrassed when he touches me.”

“Of course I do! Toto is– Toto is very important to me and-” Ron looked at Totomaru and saw the color grey sparked with emotions.

They both halted, mouth hanging.

“.... I see…” Totomaru slowly smiles, stunning Ron, “I see!” His laugh filled the room like the wind bell of summer.

Ron held his breath, his chest tightened.

Ahhh…… Toto will kill me one day.

~~~

Inside a minimal almost bare room, Ron sat at his chair. Back almost sticking up as he continuously writes on his book, studying for exams. After all, he already created a reputation of being perfect on every exam, he still has a streak to keep.

And Toto will worry if I go down by one grade…

He finally found out why Totomaru was down the other day. His precious as always selfless lover was worried about him. His life, his grades, his future.

Which was weird because it was the first time someone worried about such things. Ron never doubted himself with his choices, neither did his mother. Nobody knows nor is close enough to care about him.

Toto was the first.

He worried about bringing down Ron, holding him back.

“That's not true, Toto. Toto is one of the reasons why I'm working hard. There's no way that could happen.”

Of course that's true. With Totomaru’s dream to be a police detective, Ron has to work hard as well to stand beside Totomaru as a detective. Toto might think otherwise, but Ron believes that it is. He is sure Totomaru will achieve his dreams, that's why, he will also achieve his dream.

And they will be together forever.

The lingering feeling of Totomaru's warm body once again creeped on his body. Heat rushed to his head as his lips trembled.

Romi flinched on her head as a loud sound of pain was heard from the other room. Another love problem? She could only sigh.

~~~

Staring at the ceiling, Totomaru rolled on his bed, thinking.

Ron always gets so flustered when I touch him… I never thought he would be that type of person. He's always so cool and collected… he's so cute.

But we're in a relationship now. He's my boyfriend and I'm a healthy teenager. I want to hold him too. He did say before he wanted to hold me too… Even kiss me.

Totomaru blushed.

So the reason why he didn't touch me that much was because he was embarrassed…

Totomaru stared at his hand for a while before becoming determined.

Okay! Let's start with it slowly. I want Ron to be comfortable with me. I want to kiss him too! … . But first let's start with holding hands.

1st plan: get him used to us being close.

Gray eyes secretly glances at Ron who is sitting beside him as they eat at a fast food chain. Totomaru silently moves himself beside Ron who notices it, “Toto?”

“I really like the fries.” Totomaru smiled, quite satisfied at the distance between them. Ron, on the other hand, noticed the distance and slowly his heart began to beat faster.

But he didn't reject Totomaru. He also wants to be close to Totomaru, it's just that… he always gets so nervous. He also wants to hold Totomaru. They are lovers now, so… it's better to get used to it, right?

Ron gulped as he tried to relax himself. Even when he does, there is still this tingling sensation on his chest. Toto… Toto… Is this okay? Are you forcing yourself to take the lead for me? He felt a little guilty.

He really needs to pull himself together.

He is a man too.

~~~

“Are you okay, Toto?” Ron stood worriedly beside Totomaru’s table just after the war (final exams). The brunette was slumped on his table, pale and losing his soul.

“I answered all of it… I answered all of the questions…” Totomaru mumbled to himself with horror.

Ron smiled, amused by his lover, “Congratulations, Toto.” He said that he already knew the other will pass the exams.

Totomaru’s tired body slowly got up, taking his bag, “The results are still not here, Ron…” He said. Ron followed beside him as they walked out of the school.

Ron stared at Totomaru, his blue eyes never leaving his worried face. So cute. But he didn't like that worried expression. His eyes flickered to Totomaru’s hand, slightly swinging beside his body.

2nd plan: hold hands.

He gulped. Can I do it..? He already is getting used to being close to Totomaru but holding hands of his own will… of course Totomaru has already held him 10 times (he counted) but he has never initiated such a thing before (other than the time in the library). It was always Toto.

Pull yourself together and be a man, Kamonohashi! He thought to himself. Don't be a coward! Don't make Toto sad.. Make sure he feels loved. You can't possibly make your relationship only until this.

With quivering hand, Ron slowly reaches out for Totomaru’s innocent smooth beautiful delicate han-

“Ron?”

He flinched harshly and retracted his hand to his back. Totomaru's innocent eyes looked at him with confusion, “Mmm?”

“Nothing. What is it, Toto?” He's glad he was able to hide the nervousness in his voice with a smile.

“I was just asking if you have any plans for the spring break.” His lover smiled, turning his back again to Ron who focused again on his hand.

“Just at home…”

“I see. Grandma and I-”

Ron braces himself once again. His fingers slowly reached out– nervous yet anticipating and eager. Eager to hold Totomaru. To feel his warm hands, to hold him, to be with him.

Touch.

Totomaru stopped walking and turned to Ron who was silently pressing his lips together frozen in his place, breathing or not… The warmth of Ron's hand seeping through his fair skin as Ron holds him dearly.

Grey eyes soften with understanding and happiness as he feels Ron's trembles. Totomaru smiled brightly, happy that Ron took the initiative to hold his hand. He has been so tired since yesterday because of the exams. Could this be his reward for this hard work? If yes, then this is the best reward ever.

He decided to stay silent watching as Ron's eyes spiral as he exploded inside when Totomaru held him back. So adorable. But he shouldn't tease his suffering lover so much. Ron is already doing his best.

The other took breathes through his mouth, one at a time, calming himself.

There was only silence between them. Totomaru slowly pulled Ron's hand and they took little steps to their home. The pendant of Totomaru's bracelet swaying with every step.

Ron's hand never left him but only held him more. This time, firmly. Totomaru smiled to himself as he looked at Ron who walked beside him with happiness.

Blue eyes filled with love stared back at him with a smile. Happy and proud too. Ron couldn't ask for more, but his heart is really about to explode soon.

Totomaru laughs, noticing the blush on Ron's face.

The day after tomorrow, Totomaru never questioned himself being worthy to be beside Ron when their exam scores were updated.

~~~

Totomaru is worried. It's spring break. No classes yet Ron hasn't replied to any of his messages since this morning. Which is weird because Ron would always message him back unless he's studying.

Totomaru looked at his phone. He's not even online. Is he okay… This is the first time Ron ever did this. More worries began to swell inside Totomaru’s chest.

Ron, are you okay?

I'll go there.

Sent. 12:00

“Grandma, I'll go to a friend's house!”

“Be careful!”

He is glad that he knows the location of Ron's house. The lad gave it to him along with his phone number.

I'm a little nervous…This is my first time coming to Ron's house… Totomaru thought, gripping on the sling of his bag. Ron's house isn't that far but it's at the opposite road of what he usually takes. He and Ron take different paths at a certain crossing.

Now that Totomaru thinks about it. I might be the first person to know where Ron lives. The thought made him a little giggly inside. He's happy that Ron trusts him. Will I be welcomed in Ron's house? He hasn't heard anything about Ron nor did say he will be coming there.

Oh right. I should text him.

And he did.

Will Ron's parents be there? Oh no! I should have brought something! If Ron's parents are actually there, he can't make a bad impression. Wait, why am I thinking like we'll be married!?

Totomaru sighed. Brown sugar syrup? No… Is his family obsessed with it like he is?

Totomaru sweat. I don't think so…

Still, he brought brown sugar syrup for his boyfriend who might actually need it.

Kamonohashi

He stood in front of the two story house. It was normal, but more modern and advanced than his own house. Totomaru pressed the bell and waited.

No answer.

Is he asleep? But it's already afternoon…

He pressed it again.

No answer.

Are they not here?

But for some reason, his intuition says otherwise. Listening to it, Totomaru pushed the gate. He flinched when it was unlocked and opened.

What the- Is it okay if I enter? He worriedly thought, not wanting to be rude or trespass. But the lingering worry for his boyfriend became stronger as he took a step inside.

He reached the doorsteps and slowly twisted the door knob to find it also unlocked. What kind of people leave their house unlocked!? Not that their neighborhood has cases of thieves but still! Are they like this in London too!?

Cold air touches Totomaru’s skin as he enters the home of the Kamonohashis, his body shivered a little as he closes the door. Locking it.

He looked around and felt a little uncomfortable. Maybe because he was just new here or maybe the house looks so… empty. Ron did mention that they just started living here last year, but that's enough years for some things to be displayed right?

There are paintings that Totomaru doesn't recognize but he can guess they are popular pieces. There was furniture but for some reason it all felt so dull. Very different from his own home that feels like the sun. This house reminded Totomaru of what Ron feels like before they started talking.

A living room, a kitchen and dining area. That door must be the bathroom. Ron's not here… Totomaru looked up. In the bedroom… but is that okay? Totomaru blushed.

Totomaru’s feet brought him upstairs, nervously. He looked around and saw 3 bedrooms. What should I do… He doesn't know Ron's room at all. There are no names on each door either.

Should he guess? But what if he opened the wrong door and saw someone else!? Totomaru grabbed his hair, thinking hard.

Thump!

Totomaru turned his head to the left door and opened it without thinking, “Ron!” His eyes widened.

Ron lay on the floor– fell down. His blanket dragging on his foot, breathing hard, “Ron!?” Totomaru immediately went to his side seeing the pained expression of the other.

“What happened!? Are you okay– Hot!”

The raven is sweating and soaking his clothes.

“A.. fever…” Ron was able to say between his pants.

Knowing now, Totomaru hardened his eyes. His hands dragged Ron back to the bed, making him comfortable. Then placed the blanket on top of his shivering body.

Ron coughs. Totomaru looked around and saw the medicine on the floor scattered and the water bottle on the side table. He gave it to Ron who accepted it.

Worried eyes looked at Ron, who looked very vulnerable. Trouble breathes, sweating furiously, pale and flushed. He could even barely open his eyes. All signs of a fever.

Are his parents not here?

“No…” Ron said, “Mom has work…”

“Oh…” It reminded Totomaru of his childhood… When he got sick, there was no one by his side until his grandma arrived. Ron was the same…

He takes his handkerchief out and gently wipes the sweat on Ron's face, “Have you already had breakfast?”

Ron leaned on his touch. He'll take that as a no. He took medicine without even eating… Totomaru thought worriedly. Ron's skin is so hot.

“I'll cook you something… Do you want to change your clothes?” He gently asked, making sure his voice was loud enough to hurt Ron's head who shook his head to the side before grimacing.

“Don't move your head, Ron. You can just say no or yes.. I'll understand it.” He was glad he came here. What could have happened if he wasn't here. Ron doesn't have anyone to take care of him with this high fever… he felt bad for his lover a little.

“I'll take care of you, Ron…” It was soft, understanding– a promise. Like a kiss on his forehead that could cure his internal pain.

Ron wanted to cry.

“Toto…” He reaches out and holds on to something warm. His body feels so cold, so cold, “Toto…”

“I'm here, Ron…”

He wanted to say more. Stay. Promise him he will stay, hold him, don't let him go, don't go, stay. So many many things he doesn't know how to say yet for some reason, Toto could understand him.

He held Ron, so gently it hurt yet so comforting. His tense body relaxing against the sheets of the bed, as Totomaru caresses his hand and face with love– a promise.

“I'm here…”

Ron opened his eyes. The bright blue sky will always have the grey clouds with them, they will never be apart and will always be together. Nothing can exist without the other. The soft gentle cloud will always be there for the sky– protecting and staying.

Ron smiled, feeling his body melt. I want to kiss him. He thought as Totomaru smiled at him. His eyes closed, finally safe enough to sleep.

Totomaru watches as Ron finally takes soft breaths. However his hand is still firmly holding his own. Totomaru smiled and sat beside Ron's bed, on the floor, not taking his hand off.

He looked around the room. So this is Ron's bedroom… It wasn't much different from the first floor of their house. Empty and minimal. Only what he needed is here. Closet, desk, bed, chair… and a picture.

Grey eyes sparkled.

That photo…

That's innocent pinned on Ron's table board.

Our first date.

It's the only picture in Ron's room.

Happiness spreads through Totomaru’s chest as he blushes, “....” The hand holding him firmly with warmth.

Totomaru continued to wipe Ron's sweat. He really needs to change his clothes soon. Seeing that the fabric is already damp. He looked at the nearby clock, “I need to make food…”

Slowly, he slips from Ron's hand and went down stairs. He checked the fridge and the stove. Then he started making the porridge.

Waiting for it, he went upstairs again to check on Ron. Calmly opening the door–

“Omffp!!”

Strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, “Toto.. Toto…” He heard sobs beside his ear.

“Ron!?” Totomaru wrapped his arms around Ron's waist, his whole body supporting Ron, “You shouldn't stand up-”

“You left… You left…” Tears slowly fell down his eyes, “Don't leave, Toto… Don't leave me…”

Totomaru’s eyes widened as Ron's hug tightened around him. Begging– like a child– clinging on him. His heart softened and he slowly stroked Ron's back, comforting him, assuring him that he is here.

“I just went to the kitchen, Ron… I'm sorry.” His voice soft, whispering promises to Ron.

So vulnerable. Ron has shown some childishness before but never this kind of one. He must be really sad, and felt safe with him. Totomaru will never find it a burden or disgusting. He'll treasure this version of Ron.

They stayed like that for a while, “Do you want to eat?”

“Yes…”

Totomaru pulled from the hug, and locked at Ron's tired puffy face from crying. He didn't laugh, just smiled softly. I want to kiss him. But that would probably be too much right now. His palm gently pressed against Ron's cheek who leaned on it, closing his eyes.

Warm… happiness… love… satisfaction…

It filled the two of them.

“Can you go down stairs?”

“No…”

“Okay. I'll bring it here.”

“... Toto…” Ron whined, not letting go of Totomaru’s clothes.

“Why not change your clothes first?” Ron's hazy eyes stared at him for a moment, “... Okay…”

Totomaru smiled. I really want to kiss him.

“Here.” Totomaru blew on the spoon, the porridge finally stopped steaming and offered it to Ron who lays on the bed in his new pajamas, pillow on his back to support him.

Lips touched the spoon, slurping the warm food down to his throat. It fills his stomach, it tastes good, “Thank you, Toto…”

“You're welcome, Ron.” I love taking care of you anyways. He thought, continuing to serve Ron his meal.

“Here, drink this.” He offered the medicine and Ron drank it, “You didn't overdose this earlier, didn't you… You drank it earlier so you should be okay soon.” Totomaru smiled and took a glass of water.

Sitting on the floor again, watching Ron breathe. A hand tapped against the sheets. Totomaru’s eyes looked at it before holding Ron’s hand. He didn't ask anything and just held him.

Ron smiled and leaned in Totomaru's direction. Totomaru gently smiled and placed a hand on top of Ron's forehead, “It's not that hot anymore… I'm glad.”

His hand brushes Ron's hair. It's so soft… This is the first time he did this. He has thoughts of how soft it is but didn't think it would be this soft. I like it… Totomaru inwardly giggled to himself.

“Ngmmmm…”

Totomaru froze and looked at Ron who was shyly sinking on the bed, blushing on his cheeks, “Toto…”

Another froze.

Isn't… this too… erotic!? Totomaru screamed inside his head and retracted his hand from Ron's skin.

“Ha-Have you had dinner already– I mean, do you have dinner ready??”

“... No…”

“Then I'll cook it for you!” Totomaru scrambled on his feet before going out of the room, closing the door. Ron merely smiled, a little amused by his lover before closing his eyes to sleep again, knowing that Toto will come back soon once again.

I can't believe I just thought of that! Totomaru screamed inside his head. And don't get turned on!! Oh my gosh…

He crouches when he finally lands on the first floor, hands on his face hiding his name, heating face, calming his mind and body. How embarrassing…

“Oh my…”

The hair on Totomaru’s skin stood up in the cold. He looked at the door and saw a short haired woman, with the same shade of black hair as Ron and black eyes.

They both stared at each other's eyes in silence.

“Ka-Kamono-”

“You must be Toto!!” The woman chirped happily, clapping her hands before running to the teenage boy and holding his hands together, “I'm so happy to meet you! I always tell Ron to have you meet me but he always refuse-”

Totomaru's eyes went unfocused as the woman in front of him kept on talking with sparkling eyes like she just saw something amazing, other than that, his heart beats so fast he might die soon.

“Did Ron call for you? He got sick just before the day began. That boy always gets sick whenever the school year ends. He always works so hard. I'm happy that you are taking care of my son.”

“Uhh… Uhmm…”

“Oh.” Romi finally let go of the poor child, “I'm sorry about that. I'm Romi Holmes. Just call me Romi, child.” She smiled so brightly. Totomaru almost squinted his eyes.

It's… Ron's mom, right? And Holmes!? That Sherlock Holmes!?

“I am Ron’s mother. He took after my mother's surname for important reasons. Anyways, Toto-chan? That's what they say in Japan, right? You should stay for dinner, I'll be cooking!”

“Ummm…”

“You can help me if you want to!”

“If you'll have me…” He couldn't say anything else in front of the cheerful woman.

Ron's mother is livelier than I thought… He did think she would be similar to Ron but he has seen different. She is such a caring and loving woman.

“I'm actually worried about him… Ron always pushes himself, you know. He's naturally gifted because he's my son and his father's but still, he never takes a break… He has been like that since he was a child! He never even made friends in favor of books! His father and I tried to surround him with kids his age but he would only sit in the corner and read his books! Can you believe that??”

Totomaru slightly chuckled. That sounds so much like Ron.

“And when his father died, he isolated himself more…”

Totomaru held his breath and looked at the woman washing the vegetables. Her cheerful eyes looked sad for once before they smiled again, “Well, that's all in the past.”

The brunette fidgets nervously, not knowing to say but it seems like there was no need as Romi moved on to the next step of their cooking.

“So how is Ron at school? He never tells me anything at all. So I want to know from you.”

“Ron… Well, he's… he always excels at all subjects and is extremely athletic. Everyone at school admires him but he always has that cold look nobody tries to approach him.” Totomaru chuckled, remembering his impression of Ron before they started talking, “But he's really kind. He always helps me with assignments and studies with me-”

“I see.” Romi's eyes softened, “I'm glad he has someone like you, Toto-chan.” Her voice– soft and loving, a motherly tone hugging her child.

“Thank you for loving my child, Toto-chan.”

Grey eyes widened. Totomaru looked at Romi, almost horrified and pale.

“You're Ron's boyfriend, right? You even know where our house is. You're not just a friend, you're more than that. So you're his boyfriend.”

“I-”

“There's no need to deny it. I'm not against it.” Romi giggled, “I'm just glad that Ron has someone who will be there for him…” She says,

“You see, my job… Ever since Ron's father died I went back to being a detective and had another job to support the both of us but that also meant I couldn't take care of him that much anymore. He grew up to be independent and devoid of emotions. I feel like a failure of a mother… The first time he showed so much emotion in so many years was when he fell in love with you. So I'm glad you are there for him, Toto-chan.” She slightly bowed her head, “So please take care of my son from now on.”

Shocked by the revelation and the mother bowing to him, Totomaru followed her gesture clumsily, “Ye-Yes! I'll take care of him!”

Romi giggled, “Such a sweet child.”

“I have to go back to work.” Romi informs Totomaru who stands at the doorway, seeing her out, “Please take care of him.”

“I will, Romi-san.”

“You can stay the night if you want. The sun is already setting, it'll be dangerous for you to go out soon. We have a guest bedroom upstairs, the one at the right. There are extra clothes and everything else there, so I need to be shy. I'm sure Ron will be happy too. His fevers usually take two to three days to be fully gone. And I won't return until tomorrow night.”

“Huh-”

“Well then, take care!”

With that, Totomaru was left in the house.

Staying… with only Ron!? I can't! I can't! I can't!!! It's still not night. I can just give Ron his dinner and go home after making him take medicine. I'm sure it'll be safe to go home.. right?

“Toto…” Ron groaned in his sleep as Totomaru watched him. A hand touched his forehead, “He's burning up again…”

Worried eyes glanced at the clock. 6:39. Can he really go home in this case? He would be thinking about Ron all night… Romi-san said she won't be home until tomorrow night as well…

Totomaru held back a sigh as he placed a cold wet towel on Ron's forehead and then wiped his sweat, “Will you be fine..?”

“He grew up to be independent and devoid of emotions. I feel like a failure of a mother… The first time he showed so much emotion in so many years was when he fell in love with you.”

“So please take care of my son from now on.”

Romi's words replayed inside his head. Had Ron… always been that lonely… He could empathize, a little. Growing up in a house without his parents because they are always so busy, Totomaru grew up in his grandparent's home. He does have a lot of friends, but he was never that attached to them.

He leaned against the side of the bed, staring at Ron's troubled face. He sat at the edge of the bed, his hand stroking Ron's hair, comforting him. Ron must be really close to his dad that he shut down everything after his death…

His eyes soften as Ron's breaths become normal again. He shifted in his sleep until his arm draped on Totomaru's waist who flinched at the contact.

“Ro-Ron??”

“Mmm… Toto…” He arm wrapped around Totomaru’s waist and curled himself at his side before letting out a satisfied sigh.

Heat rushes onto Totomaru’s head. The warmth of Ron's skin wrapping around him makes his heart beat faster. Calm down. Calm down, Totomaru Isshiki. Calm down. Though, his hands are practically shaking.

Totomaru gulped as his hand pressed on Ron's head who cuddled him further with a smile. I think… my heart just stopped.

He didn't move, not even a millimeter. His eyes never left Ron's face, watching him breathe peacefully. He's so handsome. It almost feels unfair.

His hand slowly moved in a rhythm, fingers brushing against the soft raven locks, “You really did your best, Ron…” To assure me.

“Thank you...”

Totomaru didn't move from that position until the sun set, glowing the room orange. His soft loving expression matches the warmth of the sun as Ron finally gets peace.

“Hello, granny. Yes. Yes. I'm at a… friend's house. His mother offered to let me stay the night since it's dangerous. Thank you, granny. I'll be careful. Yes. Yes. I'll be careful. Take care as well… Goodbye.” Totomaru sighs and finally swipes the call end. Thankfully his grandmother is a very understanding and carefree woman.

I really can't leave Ron alone.. He thought.

“I need to make him eat dinner.”

“Ron.” A gentle hand touches Ron's forehead. He's still running a fever… Will it ever disappear.. Totomaru worriedly thought. If the fever still hasn't disappeared for the next two days, they should probably bring Ron to the hospital. It could be a virus or infection… He doesn't want it to get worse.

“... Ron?”

“Toto…”

“I'm here… Can you sit?”

“.. Mmmm…” Totomaru supported Ron's body as he slowly sat. His eyes blankly looked around, before he felt so nauseous and closed his eyes.

Totomaru adjusted his pillow to the headboard and helped him lean back over, “It's fine, Ron.” Totomaru held his hand, “You just have to eat dinner, then medicine, and it’s all done.”

Ron's eyes slightly opened, looking at the almost blurry figure kneeling beside his bed. Toto… . So pretty… Without control over his own body, he slowly sank.

Strands of hair tickled Totomaru’s chin and something heavy landed on his shoulders. A scent entered Totomaru’s brain as he inhaled sharply, making his mind go wild, “Ro-Ron?!”

“.. Toto…”

A shiver went down Totomaru’s spine. His mind went into a spiral as heat overcame his thoughts, “What…What…”

Ron cuddled on his neck– his breath touching Totomaru’s delicate skin and lips almost pressing– tickling him and making his body warm.

“Wait! Wait! You need to eat dinner!” Totomaru screamed and pushed Ron by his shoulders back to the bed, almost out of breath and eyes panicking. The lingering feeling of Ron's warmth left on his neck making him more embarrassed.

What was that for!!? Don't get turned on. Oh my god! So embarrassing! He screamed inside his head as he prepared Ron's meal.

Ron mindlessly stared at him. But… I want to kiss Toto. (His logical self was glad he didn't do that)

The one he kissed was the spoon with the warm porridge on it. Ron swallowed the warm food, keeping his eyes on Totomaru who probably doesn't even notice his eyes and keeping himself grounded.

“You should be fine tomorrow.” Totomaru mumbled as he pulled the blanket over Ron's body after he drank his medicine now ready to sleep.

“Is Toto… leaving?” He didn't mean it to sound so sad.

Totomaru's fingers run through the strand of his hair, the warmth of his fingers touching Ron's scalp, “I'll be sleeping here tonight. In your guest bedroom.” He softly smiled. So cute.

Ron nodded at his words, closing his eyes with a thought.

~~~

A white pillow touching the floor, being dragged. Ron stood in front of a door. His unfocused eyes looking at the plain door. His hand slowly lifts and touches the doorknob, opening it– it's not even locked.

He dragged his pillow with him inside and closed the door silently. His quiet steps walked towards the bed where another figure sat on it, then he sat on the side of the bed.

Without any thoughts, he lay down on the half side of the bed and made himself comfortable with his pillow. His arms wrapped around the other human and pressed his face on the other's hair, inhaling that sweet comfortable scent.

Eh? Eh!? Ron!? Totomaru went into confusion, spiral and panic immediately. Why is he here!?!?

The warm arms wrapped around his waist and the body pressing behind him– the scent enveloping him. It's all too much! Too much! Of course he has thoughts of embracing Ron but isn't this too much!? Too fast!? What!? What!?!

He knows some people are clingy when they have a fever, but for Ron to be clingy with having a fever was too much for him!! This is clingy!!

A squeak escaped his mouth. Totomaru immediately closed his lips shut. Ron's body moved behind him, his lips breathed against the back of his neck– Totomaru’s skin became sensitive and warmer as Ron's body pressed closer to him, arms tightening around him securely.

He gripped his own pillow, the wrinkles showing his own desperation– grounding himself. Too much! So close! Don't get turned on, Totomaru Isshiki. Do not! He pressed his face to the pillow. This is so embarrassing.. I hope Ron is really asleep.

He's slowly having a hard time breathing from all of this. This is the first time he ever has been so close to Ron, it's actually insane. He had thought of it sometimes but he never thought it would be this overwhelming. He doesn't even want to think what it would affect him if Ron is facing him, because it's already too much.

Can he even sleep the night away with his heart beating so fast?

It was too early for the morning. The sun escaping the binds of the window bathes Ron's eyes. He frowned, before opening his eyes. His head doesn't feel heavy anymore and his body is refreshed.

He relaxed his body. Then it froze. His arms touched something soft– warm. It's against his entire front. Did his heart stop? Or was it just beating so fast his entire nervous system couldn't keep up with it? Ron's hand twitched.

It was different and softer. A human. He's so scared right now with all the possibilities. His hands trembled as they moved on the abdomen.

His nose which stopped breathing– the moment he inhaled air to keep himself together, he just lost his mind instead.

Brown hair.

It was Toto.

In his arms.

Sleeping.

Cuddling him.

Heat crashed into Ron's brain. However, his arms didn't let go of Totomaru. More like against his will, they didn't let go as he spiraled. What?! Why is Toto in my bed!? Huh!? Why is he cuddling with me!? What happened!?! What's happening!?!

His body trembled as the warmth of Totomaru’s body seeped through his skin, touching him bare, overwhelming his entire being. It gives him too much, too much.

But he couldn't let go. Even when his conscience says he shouldn't be doing this. He should immediately take his hands off Totomaru. Yet he couldn't do it. He can't let go of the boy. Totomaru fits so much against him, curled and adorable, as if he's perfectly fitted against Ron's own body.

He could feel everything– head to toe, he could feel every part of Totomaru’s body. So warm, so soft, so delicate– adorable, special.

This is all too much!! Ron thought as he curled himself against Totomaru. It makes his heart race that it hurts, overwhelming him making his mind go irrational, but he doesn't hate it. It's making him difficult to live but he doesn't hate it. It might make him insane for a lifetime but he doesn't mind if it's Toto.

He might be a hypocrite right now. Because he wants more.

I want to touch him more… Ron blushed. He pulled his lower body from the hug. Fuck. He painfully closed his eyes, inhaling the scent on Totomaru’s hair.

Ron finally let go of the unconscious boy. He doesn't want to do anything that Toto doesn't want. Not when he's sleeping too. That's too immoral. Ron swallows as the skin of Totomaru’s neck tempts him.

He's wearing my shirt. Can Totomaru do more things for Ron to lose his mind on? Maybe. But Ron will die.

Ron silently groaned. He sat on the edge of the bed, hands pressed on his eyes almost painful. The feeling of Totomaru’s body against him doesn't disappear. He doesn't think it will ever disappear.

He looked down on his problem. Ron never got himself interested in those activities of the same people as his age. They focused on having lovers and having pleasure, while Ron focused on his studies and not caring about anything.

He does have moments where he gets turned on waking in the morning– it's just a normal body anatomy reaction of men but he never paid attention to it. It'll disappear anyways.

However, he thinks this problem right now will not disappear just by ignoring it. Not when Totomaru's scent is all over his body and keeps on entering his mind.

I should shower… Ron thought and went to the bathroom. He quietly left the room, not wanting to wake Totomaru. He definitely does not want Totomaru to see his state right now.

Locking the door of the bathroom, Ron pulled his pants. Has he ever been this hard before? It's rather painful. He feels embarrassed– guilty even though he has to do this with Totomaru (the cause) in the house. He stripped off his clothes as he turned the shower on.

He really needs to get it out.

Totomaru sat on the bed, staring at the empty space where traces of Ron were left. Fingers carefully touched the sheets. It's not warm anymore. Ron must have been awake for a while now…

A familiar shiver pinched his shoulder. Why am I feeling disappointed!? Totomaru screamed inside his head, embarrassed, and hid himself with the blanket again. It's not like something really happened…

The warmth of Ron's presence slowly disappears on his back. Maybe that's why he is disappointed.

With nothing to do with it, Totomaru decided to start his day. Stretching his arms, he realized that the shirt he is wearing is bigger than him. It's almost swallowing him whole. Because it's Ron’s shirt. When he entered the room last night, there were clothes ready for him.

If you're staying the night, you can use these clothes.They were Ron's when he was younger. – Romi

Fortunately the pants were just perfect for him, but the shirt wasn't. Totomaru didn't mind it anyways, as long as he had a change of clothes. Romi was also kind enough to let him borrow these.

Totomaru went down stairs to the kitchen, he was in the middle of taking water when Ron walked into the room. In new clothes, hair wet with a towel on his shoulders.

Their eyes met.

They both froze.

Nobody really knows how to feel.

Nobody wants to mention anything as well.

“Good morning, Ron.” Totomaru was the first one to break the silence with a smile, “Are you feeling fine now?”

“... Kind of…” Ron didn't see his eyes and obviously turned his head to the side going to the fridge.

“That's great.” Totomaru smiles, genuinely glad that Ron's fever is finally gone. Does he even remember what happened last night? No! Stop acting like something happened. God…

This is so awkward.

Totomaru swallowed his shame as he went to the fridge, standing beside Ron who visibly tensed.

“Do you want something for breakfast?” The other asked, looking through the ingredients inside.

“Egg…” Honestly, Ron just answered that because that was what Totomaru was watching.

Totomaru took several eggs with him. He smiled at Ron, “You can sit there and wait, Ron.”

It was so kind Ron wanted to slit his skin out of his body from what he just did earlier. He sat on the dining table, forehead against the table. He listened to the pan sizzling and Totomaru moving around preparing their breakfast.

He stood up and watched his hand, very very thoroughly.

“I'll help you, Toto.” Ron smiled, not wanting the atmosphere to be more awkward. Grey eyes looked at him before smiling, “Okay, Ron.”

It feels like we're living together. Totomaru snickered to himself as Ron prepared their side dishes and him frying the eggs. It was comfortable, and so domestic, almost warm. Totomaru wants this to be a normal.

“I'll go back home when we're done cleaning up, Ron.” Totomaru informed them as they ate breakfast, “I told granny I'll just stay here for the night.”

It left him a little disappointed that he needs to go home so soon. I wonder if Ron feels the same… He glanced at the taller boy. His expression didn't really change that much. He probably shouldn't question it.

“I'll return your clothes when we meet next time.” Totomaru said, standing at the entrance.

“It's fine, Toto. You don't need to return them. I don't use them anymore anyways.”

Totomaru nodded with understanding. He really didn't want to leave. He only spent a day in this house yet he already attached himself here. Or maybe he didn't want to leave because of the person in front of him.

He looked down. Not entirely knowing what to feel.

“Can I hug, Toto?”

His head perked up. Totomaru looked up and saw Ron's eyes looking at him with a little sadness on them. Does he feel the same way?

He nodded. Totomaru watches as Ron's arms went to his sides, slowly touching his waist, closer to him. He found himself pressed against Ron's chest. Hands touch his back, as his arms embrace him, closing any distance between them.

It was gentler, softer, loving– Totomaru buried his face on Ron's chest, his arms wrapped around the boy's waist, fingers pulling on his clothes– comforting.

He really didn't want to leave.

“Thank you for taking care of me, Toto.” Ron whispered against his ear. Totomaru nodded with understanding. It was nothing. He likes taking care of Ron. He was glad he could do some for Ron.

He was really happy.

~~~

“My girlfriend is really cute!” One of the boys said. Totomaru sat in their circle, listening to his friends talking about their love life.

“I don't really find myself settling with anyone.” One said.

“We have choices to be in a relationship or not anyways, right, Totomaru?”

“Eh?” The brunette turned to them, confused. His friends looked at him before smiling with intention, “Oh hoh? Trouble in paradise?”

“Huh? No, it's nothing like that!”

“Isshiki finally interested in someone!? Tell the entire school!”

“You're exaggerating, it's nothing like that!! I don't like anyone that way!”

Yamamoto snickered, “Totomaru is probably like the only student who has no crushes in this entire school. Focusing on reaching his dreams? Such a handworking student.”

“Amamiya-senpai already graduated, you can take it easy. Did your rank get higher this time?”

Totomaru sweatdrops, “Yeah… I'm the student council secretary now.”

“That's rough. They really wouldn't let you go.”

“But everyone’s nice now. There's nothing to worry about.”

One of the boys slapped Totomaru’s back, “Well, if you are having any troubles with love. I, the love master, will help you.”

“Your girlfriend literally just broke with you last week!”

“I have a new one now!”

“Who will break up with you soon too.”

“Are you cursing me?!”

Totomaru sighs as he listens to his friends bicker around. It's not like he could say anything about his relationship to them. His problem is personal too.

He and Ron have been dating for 3 months now. Well.. they hold hands, spend time together, sometimes Ron would hug him…but that's that. That's all. Totomaru is not saying he is unsatisfied with his relationship with Ron, but he wants to move further into their relationship, you could say.

However, he doesn't want to do anything that Ron doesn't want.

Ron said he wanted to kiss me before… Does he not want to do that anymore? Totomaru shook his head before he could think more about it.

Totomaru sat on the floor of Ron's living room. Ever since he came here, he has been coming here almost every weekday on the pretext of studying. He still hasn't told his family about his relationship with Ron. But that's not important right now.

They are really studying. It's mostly Totomaru studying and Ron teaching him though.

During these times, they can really be themselves. Inside this house that no eyes will judge them, they can fully love each other.

Ron's arm wraps around Totomaru’s waist as his forehead leans against his back shoulder. Totomaru diligently writes on his notebook while Ron sits beside him, clinging.

Totomaru never questions Ron's love for him. He already knows Ron loves him. But he wants to question if he wants to move further into their relationship.

“What are you thinking, Toto?”

“Ron, do you want to kiss me?”

Totomaru noted that the hands on his waist tensed by the question. Ron didn't withdraw him but instead lifted his head and looked at Totomaru, “I…want to kiss, Toto…” He was hesitant, almost not wanting to look at Totomaru’s eyes.

Observant grey eyes stared at him. He's happy to know about that but he wants to know the reason why Ron hasn't kissed him yet. There was no answer from him. Totomaru looked down with disappointment.

“It's….” Ron finally spoke, “I’m scared… that I may not be able to hold back when I finally kiss you. Do something you don't like and hurt you. I don't want you to get hurt, I don't want Toto to hate me..” Ron held his wrist firmly yet gentle.

“I want to kiss Toto but… I'll want more and more… and more until I have everything of you… I don't want to be selfish, I don't want to scare Toto because I'm greedy.”

Totomaru listened, his chest moving as he breathed every word Ron said. The hand being held by the other touches Ron's cheek, stroking it with his thumb– warm and soft. He gently pushes Ron from his shoulder, making him look at his eyes– filled with happiness and understanding.

Ron held his breath.

There were so many… . so many words that eyes could speak. Totomaru leaned towards him, this forehead touching each other. Totomaru closes his eyes, “You can be greedy, Ron.”

It almost felt like a dream. If Ron hadn't been watching Totomaru’s lips, he would have thought it was the wind that brought him those words.

“I'm greedy too. I want to have everything of Ron too… I want to kiss you and do many things too. So don't worry… you won't hurt me.” Totomaru opens his eyes, staring at those hazy blue eyes filled with love, “I'll give you my everything. So will you give me your everything too?”

Ron touched the hand holding him, fingers gliding against the soft skin. Totomaru smiled, eyes filled with happiness.

Softness touches their lips. Totomaru leaned back as Ron pushed against him, but was pulled closer by the hand behind his waist. Something surged inside– happiness, excitement, love, satisfaction. It was soft, gentle. Their breaths became one as they both held each other closer.

Totomaru was the first one to pull back, holding on Ron's shoulders for support. He wasn't able to take another breath as Ron chased after his lips.

And again.

And again.

And again.

The sound of lips smacking against each other filled the silent room along with small breathes in between.

Ron's hands tightly held his waist, his shirt wrinkling with every fingers feeling him. The sensation of the fabric pressing between Ron’s skin and his spreads the heat throughout his body. Ron guided his legs to sit on his lap without breaking any contact.

Totomaru held on his shoulder. He can't get away, not when Ron is holding him in place, not when he's losing his mind being swallowed whole by Ron. He couldn't feel his heart beating anyone, only Ron's presence, only Ron's warmth– only Ron embracing him.

He lost his strength from everything. His head leaned on Ron's shoulder. Fingers stroked his back, comforting him but it just added more sensation to his body. He inhaled and exhaled rather fast, panting– hazy and exhausted.

Ron's lips kissed his head, before going down to his forehead, eyes, cheeks, and chin. He almost felt like drowning, yet he didn't fight back and let Ron consume him. Clothes wrinkled with fingers when Ron reached his neck.

Totomaru closed his eyes tightly, holding on Ron.

Warm air tickled the skin between his neck and shoulder, moist and soft lips pressing between them. It felt good. It feels good. A foreign feeling that Totomaru didn't dislike and wanting more of it.

Ron kisses his lips again.

He was pulled into the boy's chest. He really can't think of anything. His eyes closed without a thought. Ron's warmth holding him close, careful and gentle. His hands caress his body like he's a precious one of a kind treasure.

Totomaru leaned against Ron, giving himself up.